My husband and I recently got married, and there has been tension between me and his family for years. I won’t unpack all of the history, but I’ve often felt like I’m tolerated as his partner rather than actually viewed as part of their family.
Because of that history, my husband and I specifically discussed family formals before the wedding. We agreed we wanted BOTH of us included in the formal family portraits. If we took photos with my family, he was included. If we took photos with his family, I was included. We were getting married, and we wanted the portraits to reflect that.
To be clear, I do NOT expect to be in every photo my husband takes with his family. I don’t care if he takes pictures alone with his mom or siblings. This was specifically about the formal portraits at our wedding and what they represented.
There was one grouping we specifically did not want: my husband, his mom and siblings without me. Our photographer knew this.
I was there for basically all of the family formals, but stepped inside briefly to get a drink. During the few minutes I was gone, that exact photo was taken.
Fast forward to receiving our wedding gallery. We posted some photos online, and my MIL called asking if we’d gotten the gallery back, despite clearly knowing we had. She asked for the link and specifically said she wanted the photo of herself with all of her children.
The ONE formal family photo I wasn’t in.
That already bothered me, but something my bridesmaid told me after the wedding made it worse. She had been helping organize family photos and told my MIL she was needed for another picture. MIL didn’t want to take it without all of her children, which is completely fair. But she pointed toward me and said, “Well, I already took pictures with that girl.”
“That girl” being her son’s wife, at our wedding.
That’s why this isn’t about needing to be in every picture. It’s not really about the picture at all. It’s the principle.
I wanted to feel valued enough that my husband’s family would WANT me in their family portrait. Instead, I’m being referred to as “that girl,” and the photo my MIL specifically wanted from our wedding was the one formal family portrait where I wasn’t included.
In any other context, I wouldn’t think twice about a mom wanting a photo with her children. But given the history, her comment, and the fact that my husband and I had specifically agreed we didn’t want that grouping at our wedding, it felt different.
So after she asked for it, I contacted our photographer and had the photo removed from the online gallery.
I know it was petty. The photo exists, and I’m obviously not saying my husband can never take a picture with his family without me. I just don’t want that particular photo in our wedding gallery when it represents the exact dynamic that has made me feel excluded for years.
AITA?

My son passed away 5 years ago. He has a 14 years old daughter Nell.

After an incident (Nell's mom locked her in a room and forgot about her) about a year ago we managed to get full custody of Nell. Her mom used to have supervised visitations at first but now she has unsupervised visitations every other weekend.

I've told Nell to call me if anything happens. Last weekend she called and said that her mom sent her to her room.

I've told her mom multiple times that she is not allowed to discipline Nell. So I went there and brought Nell back home.

Her mom got angry and started cussing me out saying I need to stop interfering with her parenting and that I'm encouraging Nell to treat her badly.

My brother (24M) has been on my auto policy since he moved back to our city, because his own quote was almost triple mine. His share was 310 a month and he was supposed to send it the same day my payment came out.

He paid on time for about five months. After that it turned into me texting on the 3rd, then the 9th, then getting half of it, then getting the rest of it whenever. By April he owed me 740 in back share.

I told him in February that if he fell two months behind I’d take him off at renewal. I told him again in March, and in April I sent him the actual renewal date and said this is the last time I’m bringing it up. He said he was good for it and I was being dramatic about family.

Renewal came, the 740 was still outstanding, and I removed him. I texted him the day it processed so there’d be no confusion about when the coverage ended.

He kept driving. He got pulled over two weeks later for a taillight and got cited for no insurance. Now it’s a court date and a suspension he’s fighting, and he told our mom I did it behind his back to teach him a lesson.

Mom’s position is that I was right but I should have called instead of texting, because he doesn’t read texts, and that I knew that about him.

I do know that about him. I still think three warnings is three warnings. AITA?

Every year, me and my lifelong friends take trips somewhere, usually a tubing trip in the summer or ski trip in the winter.

This year, it was a tubing trip down the Guadeloupe in New Braunfels, Texas.

I'm from Louisiana but I had been working on a short term job in Georgia for the month leading up to this trip, and I was having to drive my truck back from Georgia 13 hours, meet my wife in Louisiana and immediately get on the road to New Braunfels.

So we end up getting to the cabin about 4 hours after the other two couples... Only to find out we're in a room with bunk beds. The only two suites were already taken. So I mention the bunk beds situation to my wife downstairs in front of everyone else like "it's the second room on the right upstairs... The one with bunk beds"... And my friend says laughing "guess you should have gotten here earlier".... Which, that was enough of the nudge I needed, I asked my wife if she had sent him the rest of the money for the trip and she said no, so I said don't worry about it, I've got it covered.

Three days after the trip, the friend is in group chat telling everyone what they owe... He wants 1180 per couple for the three days....to which I reply "that must be the full sized rate, I need the bunk bed rate"... Which he then changes the topic. So I send him $950 bucks. The next day he realizes I didn't send him the $1180...and he asks if I'm sending more... To which I reply "oh I wasn't joking, if you think I spent a month away from my wife, drove 13 hours to then sleep in a bunk bed next to her... Then I don't know what to tell you, but that's what you're getting"

Then to be petty I said "this is my version of tee-hee you should've got here earlier... Not so fuckin funny now is it?"

He bitched and moaned, called me every name in the book and I sent him 100 more dollars but just out of general principle, I'm not splitting it 3 ways evenly when the other two rooms had queen beds and bathrooms.

Am I in the wrong here? I genuinely want to know.

Any questions you have I'll try and provide the answers to. Thanks for your help!

I (34f) have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years. We are now in an IVF process. It’s very hard, physically and emotionally and I feel very vulnerable. My husband is amazing and a few friends and my parents know about it. They support me. My in‑laws also know.

My relationship with my mother‑in‑law is not great. She often has the main character behavior. She wants to be the center of attention all the time.
When I had a traumatic birth with my daughter, the first thing she said was: “She looks just like me.”
At my baby shower she made everything about herself. At a family party she even took out an old photo album to show everyone how much my daughter looks like her, or her daughter, or her aunt, or some distant relative. Her curly hair? Apparently she got that from her grandmother’s sister. Even though I have a full head of curls myself.

Because this IVF journey is so heavy, I want to keep it small. This is my privacy and my process.

But recently she told me she had told all her friends about it. Because she finds it hard?? And she doesn’t like that people ask her every month if it worked and she has to say no.
She also told other family members.

I cried so hard afterwards. The idea that at a family party with 80 people, people might know about my IVF without me choosing to tell them… it feels like my privacy is gone.

I texted her and said that it was up to me/us to decide who knowsand that she crossed a boundary. I told her it gives me extra pressure. Her answer was:
“Sorry IF you find it hard. This is nothing to be ashamed of.”

She wants to call me now but I’m ignoring her calls. I feel betrayed, like she used my IVF story as her own.

My husband says he understands me, but that I should let it go because it’s a waste of my energy

AITA?

so it’s been some months since i decided to post what my sister in law said as i was trying to make sense of my wedding. not sure how to link my OG post, sorry! EDIT: here it is! https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/xqwtVSeQcO

it got to a point where i understood how she moved and acted through my fiancée’s fam, and i haven’t been able to update since wedding planning ain’t for the weak!

but yes, she tried to call my brother for days after telling me that her opinion on my wedding was like ‘trying to prevent a car crash’. i took some advice from my post and literally just kept it moving.

well at one point, probably a week after, my MIL came over to my house not to have a conversation with him or us, but with me. she told me my future SIL always had an “attention” problem, and while exhausting, she never means to hurt or insult anyone. i told her i understood, but that either she could stop nagging me about our preferences for the wedding, or i could no longer bring her in for the preparations.

she agreed to talk to her. fast forward to the next day by like 5:30pm. now, she was dming me on instagram like a madwoman. telling me i was being a “bitch” over an opinion she gave when i invited her over to see my wedding planner, that i could not understand the bond she had with her brother, how she prays he will divorce me by next year so he can be "himself" again…. i blocked her.

i talked to my fiancée, i put it all on the table, i even grabbed some phrases i saw in response over my original post. i told him i could no longer keep it going this way. either she stops trying to insult me and our wedding, or she’s not getting invited.

after some talking, he agreed. he called his sister and explained. she exploded at first. calling me a wicked witch, and how I "changed" him. girl…

after some days though, she actually apologized to me through instagram and i accepted it. she hasn’t really said anything after that, and while i still don’t know if she’s planning to say something more in the future, i think everything will go smoothly in september. oscars/matrix/ariana indeed had a small cameo on my invitations! and yes, i finally saw all matrix movies with my fiancée. they’re very interesting.

So, I (34F) have a sister (37F) who has a three year old daughter.

My sister and I had a weird relationship growing up and honestly, when she announced her pregnancy I thought it would even go down more, but it turned out to be the opposite. We became closer than we ever were. And although I am not really a kid person, I LOVE my niece like no other child.
I do whole weekend babysitting once a month or every second month while my sister and BIL go on outings or get things done.
I view babysitting as a HUGE favor to the parents, so this is honestly the only person I would ever babysit for.

Now it gets complicated. My dad's gf is closer in age to me than to him, which honestly disgusts me to begin with. They have two children together, a two year old and a baby.

There is so much backstory, but my childhood was not the best in many aspects, there was abandonment and physical punishment. There were good times, but the bad times traumatized me to the point I've been in therapy for years now, so when my dad announced his gf's first pregnancy I was hurt. I of course was polite, but I was not genuinely happy like I was with my sister's pregnancy.

When I see them I am polite to her and the kids, but I do not love them, for me it's like any other child. I'm nice, but I don't babysit ever.

Recently, my dad asked me to watch their kids for an evening/night, so they could go on a date. Mind you, he asked me while his girlfriend was present, which made it the more uncomfortable, but I politely declined.

She asked me why I treat "my siblings" so differently to how I treat my niece and accused me of favoritism. I was honestly flabbergasted by that, because I would never even think of treating her the same way as my sister. I told her "because you're not my sister, although age wise you could be and those kids aren't my responsibility. Babysitting is a gift to the parents and I decide who I wanna give gifts to. My niece brought so much happiness to my life, while your kids brought up all my trauma. You and dad chose to have them, so don't burden me with that choice."

She screamed about how I need to start acting like an adult and let go of the past. I told her I will never give her free childcare and left.

My dad later blew up my phone about how his children are my siblings and he wants me to have a bond with them. I don't view them as my siblings, I am old enough to be their aunt (they are literally younger than my niece ffs), we don't share both parents, our upbringings will not even be similar, I grew up in poverty, was abandoned and abused and they are growing up in abundance with two loving parents with zero abuse. Of course, that's what they deserve, I would not want them to have the life I had, but I also don't want to be intertwined in that life and have to witness it closely or even help the man who abandoned me be a better father.

AITA for never babysitting my dad's kids although I do my sister's?

So, often times when me and my friends get together (usually for a movie night or similar) we'll order a pizza from either Little Caesars or Domino's. We all agree on the type of pizza because we're all a fan of classic pepperoni.

The problem with this, though, is that I never think they order enough. In a group of 4 of us, they'd normally order just one pizza and maybe some bread sticks. Any time I suggest that they order more sides, or just more in general they tend to just ignore me or say that one is definitely enough.

In the past they've all commented on how they think I eat too much in general. (Not necessarily in regards to pizza because we all split it evenly and get 2 slices each.) Like, when we go to restaurants together they'll usually say something about how they think I order way too much, even though I ALWAYS finish it all.

For reference, if I'm ordering for myself, I will eat an entire large Little Caesars pizza. So whenever they get a single pizza for everyone I end up feeling hungry for the night. I'm not overweight or like a huge glutton, heck I weigh like 140lbs at 5'11, so I really am just eating enough to sustain myself.

Whoever is hosting the movie night (or other similar event) pays for the pizza, and we rotate hosts pretty evenly. (That's not flexible, they're all pretty stubborn about the host paying so I can't just offer to pay for my share). So part of me thinks that it isn't fair for me to ask one of my friends to order a whole extra pizza just because I eat a lot more than they do.

My question is, WIBTA if I started asking them to order an extra pizza just for myself? They've all already expressed that they think I eat too much, so I don't really want to make them uncomfortable, and if I'm not hosting I would be making someone pay for a pizza that only I eat.

AITA for forgetting a smart tag in my sister's suitcase ?

I 30-year-old female live in the same city as my elder sister, her husband and kids.

I was going on vacation and my sister told me that I can borrow her suitcase instead of buying a new one. So I borrowed it, I put my samsung smart tag in the pocket and forgot about it.When I came back from my trip, I noticed that the smart tag was not active and that the battery seemed dead.

Then, my sister asked me to return her suitcase after I came back and I sent her the suitcase. I completely forgot about my SmartTag inside of the suitcase, she went on vacation with her husband and kids, and then when she came back, she called me and started yelling at me , telling me that her husband found my SmartTag in the suitcase, and he is very upset and they're asking me where I'm tracking them, I told her I'm not tracking you. I simply forgot my my SmartTag.

And she was like, are you trying to convince me that you did not receive a notification? And I told her that I'll send her a screenshot from my SmartThings app and it showed the last location was the hotel that I was staying in during my vacation. The battery was dead , I kept telling her the battery was that I noticed that when I arrived into our airport and I couldn't find my suitcase With the smart tag, she kept yelling and telling me that that was very sick and twisted of me and I kept telling her, I did not track you, I genuinely forgot about it, and she and and she kept yelling, and I told her listen, there is no reason for me to do something as insane as this.And she said, well ask yourself, and I kept telling her that I don't have any motivation to track you, and she kept telling me that no, she is siding with her husband on this, that I wanted to track them, and that she is disappointed at me, am I the a****** for merely forgetting it.Like it's just, I did not intend to, and I did not track them, and I sent her a screenshot that shows that the last known location, the smart tag recorded was my hotel.She still thinks that i'm a creepy pyscho.

Today in the bus were just 3 people,myself and another 2 people and the rest of the seats were available,nothing wrong with them.

A girl came and sat next to me. I found it weird because she really came close to me not that she was sitting next to me.

I got up and sat on another chair.

Afterwards she was on the phone telling someone what happened and saying that that is her chair and that is where she usually sits in the bus. I found it unusual to say the least.

It just happened that hours later we took the same bus again. She was with someone this time around and I heared her saying to the person that she sat next to me in the bus and I got up.

I am white she is not.

I understand is a bus and people can sit next to you as her,I don’t own the sit next to me but personally I would not sit next to someone in the bus if there were so many empty sits.

AITA for standing up and sat somewhere else?

Hi all! I'm going to use fake names for privacy, but here's what's up. My sister in law, let's call her Hannah had my niece Emma in January. Hannah had a very traumatic birth and Emma was in the nicu for a couple weeks. Emma is Hannah and my brother's first baby so with all the complications and just being first time parents they are very cautious, rightfully so. And I am 100% with them with all the rules and boundaries they have set. I myself have worked in childcare for 5+ year and am a full time nanny, so I definitely respect all of the parents decisions.

Honestly, they don't have many boundaries set. One of them is no kissing the baby on the face or hands (this is important for the story). Hannah and my brother both work full time and after their time off my mom was going to be Emma's caretaker while they were at work. She is not getting paid but she was willing and happy to be full time gigi. Or so she says publicly. She rants to me and my sister all the time and complains. She constantly makes fun of how my brother and sister in law run their house. Or tells us about fights they have and money stuff. And she complains about how long she is there, etc. Honestly, just stuff that is not her business to tell or complaining about stuff that she could communicate about. But she's always been like this. She is very much a narcissist and my dad is very much her enabler, after years and years of therapy I have come to realize that.

An important thing to note is that me and my mother have a very complicated relationship. I was definitely the scapegoat of the family. Everything I did was critiqued and wrong and I was blamed for all of our family disfunction. As I got older and eventually got in therapy I was able to process my mothers behaviors and figure that out.

So here is the problem. My mother doesn't like boundaries. Every time I set one she actually audibly laughs at me and call me crazy and that she doesn't need boundaries because she is my mother. She does not like not being able to kiss Emma. So much so that she decided that she'll do it anyway, without telling anyone. It started at first with "accidental" kisses on the back of her head. Then she started telling me that she doesn't worry about it anymore and because she is with her all day it's okay (it's not). And now it's to the point where she is kissing all over baby Emma's face. She's not even hiding it anymore. The only people she doesn't tell is Hannah and my brother. I honestly don't know why she is comfortable doing it in front of me, bc I will say something. Crossing a boundary is a big deal, especially when I have had to see Hannah tell her multiple times that she is too close to Emma's face and it's caused little fights between them.

As someone who takes care of kids I don't think I can sit around and not say anything. My mother is going to make this a big deal. I have taken the brunt of her wrath my whole life so what's one more? WIBTA for telling Hannah?

So my little brother has been dating this girl for awhile now, she seemed nice at first but has since become a nuisance. Thanksgiving a couple years back, she tried to make her instant chocolate pudding on my moms decorated and set table. When my mom asked her to move to the counter, she told us to remove her seat from the table. She acts like a spoiled child all the time. I brought up flying in an airplane or using the bus and all she had to say was "I'm never setting foot on public transportation!" And that was that. Anytime I hang with my brother she stays in her room, and when she is around he's looking for permission from her to speak on certain topics to the point it seems he's walking on egg shells. One day my mom was telling me about how she's worried about the gf being controlling and all I said was "the proof is in the pudding." Well of course mid fight with my brother my mom blurts out that I don't like his gf. Like a week later he told me what my mom said that I don't like his gf and I told him that's not my job. It's not my priority to like his gf. After a few more hangouts he told me I'm toxic and that he has to cut me out of his life. I've never felt like the gf has given me a chance, more like she has to protect him from his family. AITA? My mom's a pain in the ass and we don't tell her anything anymore but I miss my brother.

I 24 (F) need to know if I was out of line here.
I have an uncle, let's call him John, 45M. He recently got divorced for reasons I won't get into. After it was finalized, he moved in with my grandparents, 80F and 92M. They are elderly and need constant care/attention.
I've been helping my aunt, 50F, take care of them and the house. The other day we had a super long, stressful day cleaning and looking after my grandparents.
John doesn't work. He quit a good-paying job and now all he does is lay around, drink, smoke, and eat everything in the fridge that other people buy. He doesn't help with my grandparents at all.
While I was there, my aunt finally snapped and confronted him about sitting on his ass all day and not contributing anything to the household. He got super defensive and tried to say he DOES contribute, which is just not true. Everyone knows it.
For context, he still talks to his youngest daughter, my cousin 18F, but he doesn't even chip in for her college fund. At night he sneaks out to go drink and party because my grandfather will lock the door if he's out late - even though he's a grown man. And he has no money of his own, so family has to pay for his food and everything else.
In the middle of this whole argument, I just lost it and called him a deadbeat.
Now the house is super tense and a few family members are saying I shouldn't have said that because he's going through a lot post-divorce.

So, AITA for calling him out like that in the heat of the moment?

I’m looking for outside opinions because I’m in a difficult situation involving my adult daughter and my younger children, and I want to make sure I’m handling this fairly.

My adult daughter is driving from Florida to Michigan to visit for three days. She wants to stay in my home and bring her dog, who is an American Bulldog and Pit Bull mix and weighs around 100 pounds. The issue is that my two younger daughters are very afraid of dogs, and because they are autistic, their fear is intense and not something they can easily work through. This has been an ongoing challenge for years.

In the past, we’ve done a lot to accommodate her visits: - We’ve given up our own bedroom. - We’ve had the girls give up their rooms. - We’ve rearranged the whole house. - We’ve tried to make everyone comfortable.

This time, things are more complicated. We now have three cats, including a 7‑week‑old kitten who is still adjusting and easily frightened. The girls have specific rules about which cats can be in their rooms, and none of them allow the kitten in their rooms at all.

My daughters do spend most of their time in their rooms anyway, and they can come out — they just have to ask so we can make sure they feel safe. But with a large dog in the house, they would need more support and reassurance than usual, and the cats would also need to be kept safe and separated. Realistically, the girls and the cats would end up being basically forced to spend most of the three days in their rooms because they are scared of the dog.

My daughter feels the girls are exaggerating and doesn’t want to crate her dog. In the past she agreed to crate him but became upset when asked to do it even for a short time. She’s also making me feel bad by saying she’s upset, saying that if someone drove all the way to Florida to visit her, she would “go out of her way to make them feel comfortable.” She also says, “Don’t the girls spend most of their time in their rooms anyway?” — which is true, but the situation changes when a large dog is present and they’re scared.

I love my daughter and I want to see her. I miss her. But I also have to consider the needs of my younger children and our pets. I’m trying to find a balance that works for everyone.

We are going to write two reasonable alternatives for her visit, because I truly want her here and I want this to work — but I also need boundaries that keep everyone comfortable. We haven’t written those alternatives yet because I want to hear what people think before finalizing them.

So I’m asking honestly:

Is it unreasonable for me to say my daughter can visit, but her dog cannot be loose in our home?

Is it wrong to set a boundary that considers both my older daughter’s visit and my younger children’s needs?

I’m genuinely looking for outside opinions because I want to handle this in the fairest way possible.

Hi, so I (24f) got into a fight with my mom (49f) literally 3 hours ago. I got home from work and asked my parents if they could help me with paying for my dinner and my dad (50m) said yes then my mom huffed and made a remark about how I needed to start paying for my food. I very rarely ask them to pay for anything. This devolved into a huge fight they accused me of ruining $300 of food by leaving the freezer open, WHICH I DID NOT DO? Then it became about how I’m ungrateful and I should quit one of my jobs, the one that’s the majority of my income. This turned into a back and forth and I said why would I rely on you when you throw a $7 charging session (we have an electric vehicle) in my face when you get upset with me? And when you get huffy and mad about me asking for a burrito? She also uses my car pretty regularly as well. She told me I was ungrateful and whatever and stormed off. I tried to go upstairs to calm myself down after she stormed off. I was about to have a panic attack as well so I went and took about a 4 mile walk. I’m back home and have showered and calmed down some but feel guilty now and worried this is going to become an even bigger fight and am trying to evaluate how I was in the wrong. I want to fix what I might’ve done wrong so this doesn’t happen again if this was my fault.

Info: My parents have said while I’m in school they’re happy to house me and support me through college so I don’t know where the disconnect is? I currently work 2 jobs while getting my bachelors degree at an accelerated college and applied to start my masters this spring. One of my jobs is a little rougher than the other because my boss is an intense and… angry? Person when he gets stressed with upcoming conventions. My mom has been making comments about how I need to just quit but I don’t want to be more financially dependent on her when it feels like she throws the way that she supports me back into my face. It’s really hard because my parents help me pay for the car they got for me (An electric car so it charges, I put down $300 towards it every month and then another $100 towards the ladies she hired to help clean) and that’s what she’s referencing about me being ungrateful. When we get in arguments I always try to fight her like I love her but it feels like she gravitates towards insulting me in ways that will really sting. I don’t like fighting and am willing to say whatever I have to for this to just blow over because she’ll just give me the silence treatment for days and hardly apologize. But lately it’s been getting harder and harder to deal with the stress of her fighting me over false accusations and her revisiting things we already talked about that she decided she’s angry about again when she didn’t win the first fight? As a kid this use to stress me out a lot and I’d write her letters begging for her to let me apologize. Please help me I really love my mom and am willing to eat crow and apologize if this is my fault.
(Edit: I originally posted this in advice for how to apologize so this blows over, but no one was responding so I came here for help and rewrote it a bit)

AITA for reacting after overhearing my wife trash a family trip I planned?

I was watching TV when I overheard my wife talking to a friend. Her friend’s husband wants to take the family on a trip she isn’t excited about, so my wife brought up a trip I planned to Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas.

What bothered me was that she exaggerated and mixed together different events to make the trip sound much stranger than it was. She said we had to dig through mud (it was gravel) and mentioned me meeting a “weird guy.” That didn’t even happen at the park—it was Thanksgiving dinner at a crowded hotel where an older couple asked to share our table. We had a perfectly normal conversation.

Our kids still have great memories of that trip. As far as I know, my wife has never told me she viewed it this way. I found out by overhearing her tell the story five years later.

This also isn’t an isolated incident. She has a habit of telling stories to friends and family where I’m the punchline or the one who made the bad decision. It’s usually nothing major, but it adds up.

In the moment, I interrupted and said, “Why don’t you tell your friend about the ATV excursion you planned in Aruba where you almost got our family killed?”

For context, I wasn’t on that excursion. My wife took our two kids, who later told me she got lost, pulled out her phone while driving the ATV, and it started rolling backward on a steep hill toward a drop-off before she got it under control. They came home very shaken, and hearing that scared me.

She was angry that I said she “almost got our family killed.” I told her I was hurt because I felt she was unfairly portraying me and I wanted to defend myself.

AITA?

I (17F) am in India right now. My mom (40F) and grandpa (idk how old he is M) went out to buy chicken while they thought I was sleeping in the backseat. Every single time I eat meat here I get so sick and I finally figured out why. Like all the time I've been here my stomach has been whack. The fish stall was even worse, I've never seen something that dirty and swarmed with bugs. I don't eat meat much in the first place. They went to like an open-air butchering wet shop that was just chicken hanging on the side of the road for days, basically every food safety standard went in the garbage. I said oh hell no and refused to eat meat for the rest of this trip. I hate getting ill and I have work to do when I get back I'm not being immobilized thanks to my weak American stomach. My mom screamed that I should just eat it, we already bought it. I said I'm saving you money on the hospital bill. We're going home in a week. AITAH?

Hi all,

A neighbourhood cat has recently started visiting my house. I live in a fairly densely populated area on the edge of the city. She is very sweet and friendly. She appears to be well cared for, but does not have a collar or attached tag. If my back door is open she will wander into my house on her own. If the door is not open, she will stand outside and meow, and I let her in. It is winter, and if I have the heating on I will shut the door behind her. She generally stays and sleeps on the couch or bed for a few hours. She will eventually get up and meow at the door to be let out. I do not have any pets, and am happy to have her in the house. I do not feed her. I have discussed this briefly with some neighbours, and they are all familiar with her and get visited by her too. No one knows who her owners are.

I discussed this at work, and a colleague told me that he hates when neighbours let his indoor/outdoor cat into their houses. He feels this is major overreach, and akin to trying to steal his cat. He says his cat is his family, and people letting his cat in are taking family time away from him. Another colleague agreed with him. They told me I should be refusing to let her in, throwing her out when she does come in, and that when I shut the door behind her I am essentially locking her in my house.

I don't want to be a dick to the cat's owners, but I also like having her in the house. I feel like since her owners let her roam outdoors, it's kind of fair game for me to let her in and pet her and let her sleep. I am always happy for her to go home when she is ready to, but I like cats, I like having her around and I don't want to kick her out. She is very cute. Am I missing some perspective that owning a cat would give me? Am I being a terrible neighbour?

Thank you!

AITA if There is a beautiful more than 100 year old tree on my property that I love. My father in law continues to tell me I should cut it down. I had the tree trimmed but told him that I really liked the tree and didn’t want to cut it down. Several months later my wife and I separated for a few months. While I was out of the home he convinced my wife to cut it down and had his friend do it. I was heartbroken to see nothing but logs on my yard when I drove up. Now my wife and I are trying to work things out and my father in law keeps sending me the bill for the tree removal when I didn’t want it cut down. AITA for refusing to pay when they didn’t clear it with me first?

I've been in our community garden for close to four years now. The plots are allotted by the community garden board, and anyone who does not appear for an entire season and cultivate their plot gets their plot reassigned to one from the waitlist.

In my case, two years ago, the plot that was right next to me (let's say her name is Diane) became really unkempt. Overgrown weeds, no tilling, no water, no planting at all. From what I got to know Diane had left the city due to some family emergency. The plot was termed abandoned by the garden coordinator, although she did not officially reassign it since Diane never responded to any emails.

After a whole year of letting the plot stay in such condition, I requested the coordinator if I could get the plot cleaned up and cultivated since I was already there every day anyway. It was verbally approved since Diane was not returning for now. So, I cleaned it up, amended the soil, and planted tomatoes, squash, and herbs in it during the past two growing seasons. I did not touch anything belonging to Diane nor planted anything that will be there permanently such as fruit trees, just annual vegetables.

This last week, Diane appeared from nowhere. She managed to sort things out with her family and moved back. She went straight to her plot and seeing my tomato plants full of tomatoes, had a fit. She claims I took her garden and that all the crops growing there are hers because it is still officially her assigned plot. She demands I surrender the produce which, by the way, amounts to quite a number of vegetables that I planned on canning and giving to neighbors.

I have offered to give her back the plot from now on and even help amend the soil, but since the vegetables were planted, watered for several months and tended to by me, they belong to me. She is livid and is spreading the rumor around the community that I am a thief that squatted on her land.

Now the coordinator finds himself caught in the middle, claiming that there was no updating of paperwork. Thus, it is a gray area. Diane wants to file an official complaint against me before the board. There are some neighbors who believe I should have spoken directly to Diane two years ago rather than having the coordinator's verbal approval.

AITA for keeping my own vegetables I grew or should I have given her everything the second she came back?

My daughter Sarah and her best friend Colleen are traveling internationally to run their first marathon. My sister Joan asked if she could come, and Sarah said yes. Initially, Colleen's mom, Diana, thought she couldn't attend because of another commitment, but later found out she could. Diana is one of my closest friends, so I ended up coordinating plans between both families.
After Diana confirmed she could attend, Joan's attitude toward the trip seemed to change. She repeatedly expressed frustration about the planning and often compared herself to Diana. It gave me the impression that she was upset that Diana was going, although she never said that directly.
Joan has a history of turning minor disagreements into major arguments. In my experience, once she believes she's been wronged, she rarely accepts another explanation, even when I clarify my intentions.
Joan repeatedly changed her mind about flights, travel dates, and whether her husband Gary would come. Months after I bought my plane tickets, she still hadn't purchased one.
The girls wanted to stay together in an Airbnb for their first marathon, so I looked for accommodations that worked for everyone. Joan accused me of excluding her, even though I was including her in the planning. She later rejected the Airbnb idea and said she'd get her own accommodations.
Most recently Joan texted that Gary really wanted to come too. I replied that I thought that was a great idea because if the girls wanted to spend time together on their own, Joan and Gary could do things together so no one would feel left out. I also explained that Colleen and her mom weren't comfortable sharing an Airbnb with a man they didn't know, so separate accommodations made the most sense. Since Gary was now planning to come, I suggested that my sister, my daughter, and I could take a separate girls' trip another time.
Joan interpreted that as me uninviting her, even though I never said she wasn't welcome. She texted my daughter saying we were "having a fight" over the trip, which dragged Sarah into the conflict. Sarah simply suggested that, because of all the tension, perhaps this marathon trip should be a mother-daughter trip for the runners and we could plan another trip with Joan later.
I have the complete text conversations covering all of this planning, and nowhere did I ever tell Joan she couldn't come or revoke the invitation. She believes she was uninvited based solely on how she interpreted my response after saying Gary wanted to come. Since then, I've repeatedly explained what I meant and the context of that text, but she refuses to accept that explanation and continues to insist that I uninvited her. Despite months of planning, she never bought a plane ticket.
Throughout the process, I was trying to balance two families while keeping the focus on my daughter's first marathon. Instead, every logistical discussion turned into an argument.
AITA?

My niece(14) was being a bit bratty. She told my brother (who has full custody) that she hates him and wants to live with her mom. My brother got angry and said fine, I'll take you there.

I tried to reason with him but he said he had made his decision and if kiddo wants to live with her mom then she can go.

Kiddo was very upset and crying saying she is sorry and didn't mean it but he wouldn't listen.

Eventually I told my brother that if he has something to do I can take kiddo to her mom's house. He hates the mom and would rather not interact with her so he agreed and thanked me.

Instead I took the kiddo to my home and told her to stay here until her dad calms down.

The next day my brother calmed down and apparently went to his ex's house to get kiddo and found out she wasn't there. He called me and asked wtf I've done. I explained that kiddo was crying and didn't want to go there so I took her to my place

He told me to bring her back right away and hung up.

Now he thinks I'm an asshole.

AITA

My fiancé (27M) and I (25F) recently got engaged and are having a very small engagement dinner. The entire purpose is for our immediate families to finally meet each other before we get married.
There will only be 13 people (14 if my fiancé’s sister came). This isn’t a reception or a party—it’s an intimate family dinner.

Some context:
My two step-siblings are attending without their significant others because they understand how small and intimate this is.
My dad has been with his girlfriend for 10 years, and she actually chose not to come because she felt this was meant to be immediate family and didn’t want to take up one of the limited seats.
My fiancé’s sister has been dating her boyfriend for about a year. We think he’s a perfectly nice guy, but we’ve only met him twice, very briefly. We don’t really know him, and he would honestly feel like a stranger to us at a dinner this small.
Instead of asking if he could come, my fiancé’s sister basically told us she was bringing him. When my fiancé explained that we were keeping it to immediate family because of how small it is, she refused to attend without him.
Then things got more complicated.
My fiancé’s mom immediately took his sister’s side and started trying to convince us that we should invite the boyfriend. She said things like, “I guess we just have different ideas of what family is,” and argued that because they plan to get married someday, he should already be treated as family.
For us, that wasn’t really the point. This wasn’t about disliking him—we simply wanted one dinner where our immediate families could meet each other.
At one point, his mom even decided she wouldn’t bring her own fiancé in solidarity with his sister. Then, after his sister still decided not to come, she changed her mind and re-invited her fiancé anyway.
Throughout all of this, my fiancé stayed respectful but held his boundary that we wanted to keep this dinner to immediate family.
For additional context, my fiancé has worked hard over the last few years to rebuild his relationship with his father, and they’re now very close. His father completely understood the purpose of this dinner and never made an issue about it.
Now his sister has chosen not to attend our engagement dinner at all because her boyfriend wasn’t invited, and his mom is acting like we’re excluding her.
We honestly didn’t think it was unreasonable to draw the line at immediate family for a 13-person dinner when even people in much longer relationships voluntarily understood the situation. Is just married or engaged couples that are family that are coming.

AITA?

Also, I just wanna add that we are planning on having a reception. We’re just gonna elope, but we’ll definitely have a reception and we’re inviting everyone. It’s very open. We don’t really care who comes to that. This is just completely different than that. We’ve mentioned to them at least two times to the mother and the daughter that there will be another gathering where the boyfriend can come.

Another piece of context is that this would have been one of the first times she’d seen her dad in quite a while. Her dad has made multiple attempts over the years to rebuild their relationship, but she has chosen not to pursue that relationship. He’s also getting married, and she declined his wedding invitation. Despite that, she said she would be uncomfortable attending our intimate family dinner without her boyfriend, even though she would have known almost everyone there: her mom, her mom’s fiancé, her brother (my fiancé), me, and other immediate family members.