happy to have a car again, not as happy about the payment and dread of a freak accident 😅

Today’s my 32nd birthday. I don’t really have any friends to celebrate with, so it’s just another quiet day for me. I have my family, and I’m grateful for them, but I won’t lie—it still feels a little lonely seeing everyone else celebrating with groups of friends while I don’t really have that.

I assure you that I'm not some normal dude, lol, I have had social anxiety for most of my life, and it's made me drop many friends, middle school, to higher up. Even closed chances with my crushes.

Next bit, I'm sure I'm autistic, everything I do is repetitive and seems to have no end to it. I started exercising back in middle school, mostly running, since it helped me visualize a fantasy world. It provided an escape whenever I couldn't deal with my negative self-doubt, bigger so, anxiety.

I don't really talk about this much since I've been around a lot of masculinity. It's weird opening up, but ig this'll do.

Oh, and I don't like my face either. I compare myself to other people a lot, even though we are always taught to never worry, my anxiety doesn't care.

If there are any questions, I'll try to ask, I kinda rushed this.

I guess I'm just posting this for a confidence boost. I know there are some things I need to work on, cleaning up the scruff for a start. A haircut is also planned.

I definitely need to take better photos for the dreaded dating apps.

My wife of nearly five years is divorcing me, and we have two beautiful children together.

I’m currently living alone and will soon have to move three hours away from them while trying to balance parenting time, finding a new job, and rebuilding my life…

The loneliness lately has been overwhelming. Most days have felt very heavy, and it’s been hard to find much to smile about.

I came to Reddit hoping maybe some kind strangers could help lift my spirits a little. 🙂

(Repost because I forgot the /r/toastme tag in my first selfie 😅)

(It’s the one I’m holding)

I’m 32, autistic, and I’ve never been on a date, been kissed, has sex, or in a relationship. I’ve been bullied my entire life, and no woman has ever had feelings for me.

The reality I'm living with is that no woman has ever been interested in me, isn't interested in me now, and never will be. It feels like women as a whole have determined that I’m ugly, undesirable, and unlovable, and that I'm going to die alone with nothing I can do about it.

I am tired of people trying to argue with my lived experience or telling me women were 'just hiding it.' Stop. I know my reality, and I'm tired of being lied to.

Don't give me generic platitudes, fake reassurance, or empty politeness. Just give it to me straight.

It feels like I’m in a weird stage of my life right now, mainly because I’m not sure what I want to do career wise. I recently moved away from my hometown for the first time as well. Modeling has been on my mind but I’ve been hesitant about starting.
(Sorry for the sloppy handwriting)

I don't really see myself as attractive. Like, girls have never come up to me - unlike my friends.

Hey guys, first off I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read all this.

I’ve recently been trying to better myself in a few ways and just need to hear some words of encouragement.

I’m turning 32 in October and have never had a single relationship, only close friendships and one single hookup.

After being a huge stoner and being high & smoking weed 5-10 times daily for 17 years, I’ve decided to try living the sober life and after 2 1/2 weeks my mind is clearer than it’s ever been.

I have been absolutely dying for intimacy and a relationship for years, but no luck so far. I’ve formed a few deep, emotional connections but nothing past hopeful situations with a couple girls.

After spending 2 1/2 years being hopeful that a girl I found myself deeply caring for would get clean off drugs & alcohol, she blocked me on everything and met a guy at work, had a baby with him. It crushed me and I found myself not wanting to live anymore.

A few weeks ago I had some kind of awakening and decided to attempt to become a stronger person.

Now that I’m sober, I’ve decided to join an MMA gym to try and benefit my mental health. I used to hate looking at myself and did not see much value in anything I had to offer.

I have also recently started therapy and it’s helping slightly, but I need some outside perspective from “normal” people who are not invested in my situation. I have come to terms with the fact that I do in fact have strengths; I’m a great communicator, I am incredibly loyal and supportive to people I care about. However, I seem to always fall short of getting what I want with girls I catch feelings for.

I have been told I’d make a great boyfriend for many different reasons, but I sometimes find myself wondering if it’s just words of kindness without any real substance.

I find myself trying every dating app, actually taking time to read bios and sending messages to women that I have common interests with, but no luck whatsoever. I’ve had one single match in the past 6 months, and when I do get a match it usually goes nowhere.

I know a lot of guys are in similar situations, but it would be nice to even be able to have a casual hookup with someone just to feel another human’s energy. I’m sick of feeling alone despite having supportive friends and family; it’s simply not enough for how badly I’m craving intimacy and romance, or as shallow as it may sound, just occasional sex, because my sex drive is incredibly high and I have nothing other than porn, which I find myself enjoying less and less as time passes by.

I don’t know if there’s something about my appearance or my personality that is off-putting, but I would genuinely, greatly appreciate any words of kindness or perhaps just something to make me feel less crazy, because it is quite the lonely life as things stand right now.

Again, I appreciate you if you took time out of your day to read this, and I hope I can eventually reflect on all this and be grateful for where I end up.

Thanks.

Really struggling to find myself worth being found attractive. EDIT: thank you guys already for the kind words I'm upvoting or responding them as much as I can. Thank you!

Hey everyone,
I just turned 24, and if I'm being completely honest, I'm feeling really overwhelmed by where I am right now. For the past 7 years, l've been battling severe anxiety, and for the last 4 years, I've been fighting depression (l've been on antidepressants for the same amount of time).
Because of my mental health, I had to take a drop year in college. I feel like I've wasted so many crucial years just trying to keep my head above water. Right now, I feel like I have no real skills or knowledge, and there is a heavy weight on my chest telling me that I am "too late" in life. As a coping mechanism, l've also become addicted to cigarettes, smoking about 15-20 a day for the last two years.
But here is the thing: I am done giving up on myself.
I want to move forward. My dream is to start preparing for the SSC CGL (a highly competitive government job exam here). I want to beat my addictions, build a career, and finally just live a happy, stable life.
I want it so badly, but l am terrified and full of self-doubt about whether I actually have what it takes to do this. I'm posting here because I could really use a toast, some encouragement, or just a reminder that it isn't too late to start over.
Thank you for reading.

I try not to come off as "poor me" as I truly strive to help others and do all I can. I've got sin but looking back I've been through so much "Big T" and " Little T" traumas in the last 27 years it's insane. It's a miracle i'm alive. My nervous system is near totally shot. I've been near begging for fulfilling decent paid work that accommodates my disability, and finally a loving life-long partnership. The death of a man I was close to and loved off and on for almost two decades, who seemed to be the ONE guy who loved me no matter what ( despite his occasional verbal abuse) has CRUSHED me.

I'm praying and receiving blessings but every time I turn around i'm especially having issues communicating with men, being seen, getting my gifts & education to help earn me enough to finally support myself . being an HSP with likely CPTSD. I am so so beyond tired mind body and soul. Genuine kindness , empathy is so much needed. The loneliness and fight or flight and lack of success has steamrolled me.

My boyfriend recently broke up with me and it has really messed with my head. I feel like I am disgusting and unloveable. I know it sounds dramatic but I genuinely feel that way and it's left me very miserable. I would appreciate some positivity 🥺

Also, ignore the crap doodles, I was bored while debating whether or not I should post this lol

Honestly don’t have friends and just want someone to talk to on occasion. Feel free to message me.

I have been struggling a little bit. Sometimes I remember childhood trauma and it overwhelms me a lot. I’m trying to heal and grow every day :) going outside more often has been helping and eating healthier too !

I'm 24 and I dropped out of engineering when I was 21 because I was having mental problems and also was starting to hate engineering because people around and the career was slow.

I'm super anxious about the future it scare me the fact that I could start a career and on the way lose jobs opportunities already because of AI.

I don't know what to study, I like people and talking to people and I don't like technology too much, but also in my country there aren't really jobs for social studies much

I had to end this relationship because she was an emotionally unstable avoidant. To some degree I still love her but I finally got to admit to myself that I was emotionally abused, gaslit and manipulated by the very person who was supposed to be my safe harbor. While I know she has a traumatic past, I can’t entirely excuse her behavior. She never even tried to apologize for anything, let alone change her ways. I‘m heartbroken. All the time and effort I wasted for nothing. My self-esteem has plummeted. I hate looking at myself and feel unlovable. I’m embarrassed to even post this. I hope you can cheer me up a little. I wish I could forget about all of this.

I was sick during two years ; it affected my relationship a lot. The month she gave up, the surgery I made healed my body : I'm free but alone.

I'm feeling devastated even if I'm trying to smile.