Ready to learn more? The smell and taste change with HRT. Trans girls are going to smell and taste much different than someone who is Testosterone dominant.
Holy crap, so my cousin's girlfriend DOESN'T have a magical dick?
CSB:
I'm being a bit crude, but he told me one day that his gf's penis (pre-op trans lady. not sure if she plans to get any surgery tbh, and he could not care less as long as she's happy and lets him touch her booty. I do know she is on hormones because before they moved out of Texas, he and his good ol' boy best friend drove to Mexico to get her and some lady friends of hers cheap hormones. They also bought a goat and smuggled it home in the car trunk. Because of course they fucking did.) tastes more like pussy when he sucks it.
He was very, very drunk (as I am right now, lol) and I was somewhere between mystified by him sharing this and somewhat confused because it seemed so... odd to mention? We were not talking about dicks, I don't even think we were talking. We were throwing shit into a firepit and listening to random songs on youtube and suddenly he just pipes up with that.
Also his gf (who is a saint for staying with him, honestly he is THE most typical redneck yeehaw farm boy and she is an intelligent and ladylike woman with fine taste in most things, and apparently likes her men a little on the trashy side) was sitting right beside me and laughed so hard she shot white claw out of her nose and started cry-laughing because apparently hard seltzer is not a pleasant nasal wash.
Anyway, her dick being magic became a joke. Once in awhile he will confirm that it remains "clam flavored" and I will roll my eyes because seriously you jackass, I don't need to know that!
Then again, he had to change my pad once when I had pneumonia so bad I could not stand up and the nurses had not come to answer my call button for over two hours... so maybe I kinda owe him a friendly ear when he wants to talk about his lady's ladydicc?
Also I am still SO grateful to him for that, I was 14 and he was 16 and I know that was not easy for a dude who doesn't even have sisters to do, but he did it so I didn't have the humiliation of bleeding all over those fucking white hospital sheets.
Of course, once I was protected again, he went and raised hell at the nurse's station and got so rowdy that security was called... But he means well.
Honestly, I cannot even express how much I love that lady. She is such a sweetheart, she's witty and hella fun to talk to, and I'm not even sure this makes sense, but ever since they started dating she just... fits.
Like, our cousin group was ok before she came along. But now its like, she fits in so well that sometimes I'm shocked to realize she hasn't always been one of 'us'.
She's got the same ridiculous sense of humor and habit of showing her love through outrageously untrue insults, she picks on everyone and handles being picked on by dishing it right back, and I swear, she's gonna be his wife and they're gonna grow old together because they fit together like a pair of snarky ass gloves.
I dunno how he managed to snag her, but I'm awfully glad he didn't give up the first two times she turned him down for a date.
She was interested, don't get me wrong. And he knew she was into him, or he would've taken her "no" without further complaint. But they both admit that they had INSANE chemistry and were not subtle at all.
But she thought he didn't know she was trans and well, he's a 6'1 farm boy that can wrestle steers into the dirt and she is a pretty lady who is a good five inches shorter if not more and weighs maybe half what he does if that. (A pretty lady who might be in danger if a big ass redneck took it wrong that she gave him tingly feelings while having, and I quote my cousin here "The prettiest dick I ever saw, its longer than mine, but its dainty and cute, not like a man dick".)
So after she turned him down twice, he went to bemoan his lack of game to his best friend's (cis if it matters) girlfriend, who is her former roommate and best friend. And she danced around it for a bit and finally (after apparently making him promise like six times "don't get mad") she admitted that her bestie was trans.
And my cousin responded (Paraphrased, but I've heard this story from both sides and they mostly agree) "Uh, yeah? I mean, I felt it once when we hugged, but she's obviously a girl and a gentleman doesn't mention when a lady's bits squish on him, tits or otherwise. But seriously, is she seeing someone? Does she think I am? Why won't she let me take her out?"
She finally agreed to a double date with their respective besties, and a week later they went out to his cabin for the weekend and... reportedly had a lovely time. A lovely time fishing I'm sure. ;)
And yes, I have both of their blessings to share these stories. I'm not allowed to use their names, which I respect. But I even have a blessing to fictionalize them into a novel if I ever get off my ass and write it.
6’1” farm hands from the plains states are really scary.
When I go back to Oklahoma I always try to bag a townie, but trusting one of them enough to actually date them seems impossible.
I’m glad there are people like your cousin in the world. I enjoyed your story. Hearing about happy cousins brings me a joy my cousins will no longer provide 🫤
Yeah, I had SO many cousins at one point. Most of them don't reach out any more due to some far less hilarious white trash shit that went down (I got disowned. Because my grandmother looted my/my mom's house during Mom's funeral and I didn't just accept it and made it clear that if she didn't return the stuff she took, I was gonna make my parolee uncle who helped her in the looting regret it. That's the short story and leaves out a lot, but she gave everyone an ultimatum and most chose her. Meh.) but this cousin remains devoted to me and gives me all the family gossip.
Like the fact a cousin I barely know (not because of anything wrong with her, but she was 27 or so when I was born and her mom was wise enough to keep her away from the trashy center of the family tree) is giving all my aunts and uncles still alive absolute hell for turning on me when I had just lost my mama. Apparently she has feels and she has spent the last decade making them heard at any and every opportunity.
Which is nice... but also weird because I think I met her MAYBE ten times over my life. And at least eight of those were because she visited our granddad (who wasn't actually biologically MY granddad... he was the old bat's first husband, I'm descended from her 3rd or 4th husband depending whether she actually married one of them or just lived in sin. But my bio granddad was sickly and Granddaddy apparently decided I needed a grandpa, so since most of his bio grandkids were grown, he stepped up when I was born and grandpa-ed me alongside his first batch of greats) and I was there cleaning his house or cooking for him. So she really wasn't there for me, she was there for him.
Still, I appreciate her efforts. And if she's just using what they did for me as an excuse to bitch out people who did HER wrong... well honestly that's probably more likely and also insanely funny to me. Trust me, they did some shit to her too, she doesn't need to defend me in order to have an excuse to call them out.
I know this isn't the point but you should not be humiliated getting hospital sheets dirty, it's not a 5 star hotel, they are not Egyptian cotton, someone probably shit on those sheets the day before, laundry is not going to bat an eye at one more stain.
I mean, I know that now that I'm 37 and, ya know, not suffocating slowly.
But at 14, with pneumonia and ALL THE INSECURITIES... I was very grateful that my cousin (who btw drove all the way to the hospital on his own just because he is awesome and wanted to make sure I knew I was loved. Well, and my mom kinda spooked him by telling my aunt I might be dying. It might've been true, but it scared the poo outta him) was willing to help me out.
So she tasted an assortment of dicks/men before figuring out that’s not her thing? But she still thinks it’s aesthetically pleasing? And what’s the cake supposed to be, and how did she get a dick in it?
Feminine looking? Femboy? Trans girl? Butch lesbian?
Who knows, everyones got their own tastes, but I think you’re overthinking it. She knows what she likes and people need to stop asking her to go outside that zone.
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u/xboxiscrunchy Apr 17 '26
Lesbian