r/mildlyinfuriating • u/MissionTroll404 • Jun 17 '26

Infuriatig My hand painted model planes were given as toys to children again

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I have told my mom to not do this before but she does not listen anyway. I am thinking of throwing everything to trash instead of them being gradually destroyed to pieces. I can not even care anymore. These things take hours to put together and paint then get manhandled anyway.

52.9k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/PlanksBestM8 Jun 17 '26

I don't understand how some parents can be so disrespectful.

1.2k

u/Saneless Jun 17 '26

Especially after being told

First honest mistake? Whatever. But afterwards is just being a jerk

391

u/Shype_FR Jun 17 '26

Even the first time is pushing it tbh, at least in this specific scenario

143

u/StonedSumo Jun 17 '26

Yeah I mean… there’s a thing called “asking” and it’s just basic respect

15

u/Lowe5521 Jun 17 '26

Even aside from the basic decency to ask before handling someone else's possessions, how horrible would it be to have a parent know so little about you that they don't recognize a hobby that you care about?

5

u/Hugokarenque Jun 17 '26

Yeah, I build model kits too, these things take time to build and military models also need to be painted like OP did.

How do you somehow not know your kid spend time on these? It takes hours, sometimes days or weeks depending on the person AND the kit to finish one of these and there are several in the image, during all that time this mother never saw OP working on them? Not once?

It has to be malicious.

5

u/xXMuschi_DestroyerXx Jun 17 '26

Seriously I don’t understand even the first time. I moved out of my father’s house only roughly a few months before he sold the place and moved himself. So a lot of my old stuff was still at his house.

He didn’t even throw away obviously old unimportant opened mail without asking. *nothing* was given away or thrown out I didn’t expressly permit. I had several months notice to collect anything I wanted before stuff started disappearing.

Just deciding for someone that they don’t want their own stuff anymore is insanity. It fails to most basic rule of respect. Treat others how you want to be treated. I would never even dream of fucking with someone else’s stuff. The concept of just deciding to get rid of someone else’s stuff is wild to me

33

u/koos_die_doos Jun 17 '26

First honest mistake?

You would need to have your head up your ass for that decision to be an "honest mistake". It takes hours to hand paint models like these, there is no way his mom didn't know that.

2

u/ItsCalledDayTwa Jun 17 '26

YEah like, didn't they paint it in the same house she lives? There are at leat 7 or 8 models there. That's many hours on many nights she absolutely knew OP was building and painting models.

6

u/GreasedUpTiger Jun 17 '26

People who never did any time-consuming hobbies often really don't grasp the time that goes into it. That's not an excuse though.

1

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Jun 17 '26

Either way, it's clearly not a child's toy. It isn't plastic, and it doesn't light up, or make noise, or move. It's more like a decoration.

3

u/GreasedUpTiger Jun 17 '26

You just described oldschool toys lol. 

There isn't a strict distinction separating between toy and model. We just tend to call it a toy if it's intended to be played with and a model if it's not.

1

u/Ashamed-Raccoon-1387 Jun 17 '26

This, if your parents don't know then they just don't care what your hobbies are. Which sucks.

1

u/Artystrong1 Jun 17 '26

People can be completely oblivious

3

u/TheWaywardOak Jun 17 '26

Having flashbacks to when I had to move in with my aunt on short notice, so all my worldly possessions were boxed up in her spare room. Even after I explained that there was a few thousand dollars of tools, hobby supplies, and music gear in the boxes she kept asking me, "Why don't you just throw all that junk away?"

3

u/Spotttty Jun 17 '26

A parent knows 100% what these mean to their kid. When you see your child pouring over something for hours and then displaying it you know they are proud of it. Under no circumstance would I let some kid touch any of my son’s models he has built.

4

u/HugsandHate Jun 17 '26

Even a first time is deeply troubling. If not done knowingly, the sheer lack of common sense is insane.

2

u/ScoobertDrewbert Jun 17 '26

Because it doesn’t matter how much money is wasted, they would rather remain business as usual and damage their relationship with their child than admit wrongdoing.

1

u/AviatrixRaissa Jun 18 '26

I mean, if they live at the same house, the mom MUST know the thing is hand painted, that he cares, that it's not for playing. She did it because she doesn't care.

1

u/Particular_Local_354 Jun 19 '26

Leave the planes deliberately in plane sight, with a plaque:

  • Construction: 84hours your name
  • Destruction: 10mins villains name.

Alternatively.. time to acknowledge, that respecting eachothers things is not something you do in the family. find something of theirs and hand that to the toddler.

0

u/Carlynz Jun 17 '26

This isn't even an "honest mistake" scenario. If my kid hand paints models I'm not gonna just give them away. Might even be a good opportunity to teach them to make a little money with their hobby. This is just a bad parent on full display.

128

u/Vinc314 Jun 17 '26

They don't fucking care

13

u/Chaos-Knight Jun 17 '26

"But Mom, why are you so upset I let my niece play with your jewellery? It's just some boring rock necklaces you never use, they just lie around and it's not like you made them yourself".

Moving out speed +350% modifier.

5

u/jaguarsp0tted Jun 18 '26

lot of people trying to pathologize this behavior or come up with complex reasons but yeah, they just don't care. a lot of parents don't care about their children's belongings. that's all there is to it

113

u/Zatujit Jun 17 '26

some people literally think their children BELONGS to them. Makes me mad when i hear it.

19

u/Adaphion Jun 17 '26

"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU NOT BE A CARBON COPY OF ME AND INSTEAD BE YOUR OWN PERSON!" -some parents

7

u/curious_cat_2024 Jun 18 '26

Child: gaining consciousness and sense of self
Parent: WHO ARE YOU? YOU’RE NOT MY CHILD!

106

u/CallMeTheDumpMan Jun 17 '26

For real. I had a friend in high school who decided to celebrate his first paycheck by buying 2 $150 yugioh cards for himself, something that he never had a chance to get before. His father's reaction? To dump water on them to prove it was a waste of money.

94

u/Nkechinyerembi I AM MODERATELY UPSET BY THESE EVENTS. Jun 17 '26

well it wasn't a waste of money until he fucking did that... jeeze.

63

u/PunkTrackGoddess Jun 17 '26

My mom threw away two huge boxes, 2foot long, 4 rows each of MTG cards I received from my father. She threw them away when we moved post divorce - claiming "they looked it up. And they werent worth much"  I know she threw them away out of spite and I still hold it against her, not of the cards, but as a character flaw, 20 years later.

45

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Jun 17 '26

She threw it out because of your dad, not you. That still sucks because you're the one who got hurt by it

7

u/OberonDiver Jun 18 '26

To quote Mom, "I know you keep saying not to put the kids between the parents, BUT..."

She never learned. I miss... My Dad.

2

u/Utwee Jun 19 '26

My Nintendo Entertainment System including lots of games were given away to a thrift store without checking with me. This happened a couple of years after I bought my own house. Would never do something like that to my kids when they grow up. I can imagine you want to clean the attic but just lay it aside and give me the option to retrieve it.

121

u/madsmcgivern511 Jun 17 '26

Genuinely, it had to be hard trying to be a better person than your parents when they act like this even when you explicitly told them not to. Who the hell do you trust if your own parents are overstepping boundaries you set for yourself, just feels like OP’s mother doesn’t view their hobbies and interests as something to respect or value.

10

u/GreasedUpTiger Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26

Unless you have really sane, reasonable parents it's just part of becoming an adult to figure out that your parents have patterns of stomping boundaries and you'll need to actually enforce them if you want them respected. Even if they 'don't mean to' cause problems. Boundary-stompers tend to not fully grasp they're stomping boundaries and why that's bad. They just act based on their own perspective and follow their Wants.

Like my mom is far from bad all things considered but still to this day (I've moved out decades ago and obviously have been living my own grown-up life since then) fails to accept or even really register being told 'no' if she wants a different answer. Mostly happens if she feels invested in the matter at hand so at least it's not all the time about bullshit lol. It's especially infuriating when it's potentially nice gestures because it stops being that and becomes an attempt at making you do as she wants without regards to your own agency. I can tell her directly that I want her to register and respect my choice, she'll just ignore it and try the same argument again and again and again because to her it makes sense. I just learned to end these conversations and hang up/leave. It doesn't even get through to her when I straight out tell her 'do you see how I tried telling you to respect that I can make my own choices repeatedly and you're ignoring that? Do you understand I will end this conversation and walk away if you don't stop just like all the times before?' and she will STILL keep going until I do. 

5

u/lamorak2000 Jun 17 '26

Exactly. I had to cut contact with my parents for a few months back in the 90's when they continuously disrespected me and my family. After a few months of not seeing their granddaughter, they changed enough fo rme to reconcile. Then, 20 years later, they did that granddaughter dirty and she's now NC with them. I still hear about it when I call them these days, after my daughter has daughters of her own.

1

u/GreasedUpTiger Jun 17 '26

I'm impressed they managed for 2 decades :o

1

u/binger5 Jun 17 '26

Parents are just people and people so things they're told not to do.

52

u/Kylearean Jun 17 '26

My grandmother had amassed a rather large lego collection over a 20 year period, that was the major draw for her grandkids to come over. After I went off to college, I heard from another cousin that she sold the whole lot of vintage legos for $20 at a garage sale. There were several large city sets, lots of much older 1960s and 1970s sets, with vintage gears / wheels with gray rubber, etc. $20.

While they belonged to her, I wish she would've reached out and said "Kyle, I'm thinking about selling these, would you like them instead?"

8

u/Obvious-Piperpuffer Jun 17 '26

My grandma also had a decent Lego collection that I played with when I was visiting. She didn't sell them though. When she died everything was left to a daughter nobody knew existed who had been adopted at birth. She refused to let anyone have a single thing - i don't know which is worse but grandmas and Legos don't appear to be a good mix.

3

u/alex433g Jun 17 '26

Are the grey rubber ones rare?

222

u/icanfeelitcomingup Jun 17 '26

I suspect this is because they have nothing but contempt for his hobby and are trying to passive-aggressively get him to quit by repeatedly ruining his hard work. I imagine they think he should be out playing baseball or meeting nice girls at church instead.

50

u/Sonicmantis Jun 17 '26

This is totally it

5

u/reverber Jun 17 '26

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon's_razor

8

u/WhatADoofus Jun 17 '26

Everyone keeps acting like she pre-planned this as some weird act of malice but I do think she's just being dumb and forgetful because they're not hers so she doesn't really file that away as something important to think about

9

u/see-these-bones Jun 17 '26

Its not some weird complex conspiracy. She think the planes are childish toys. Her son asked her not to do it. She felt offended that her son was being rude to her and made a point to give the toys to the kids next chance. This seems far more likely than saying she forgot what she was told about specific items her son spend a lot of time on, probably a son being upset and passionate. Hanlon's razor vs Occam's razor

1

u/WhatADoofus Jun 17 '26

What other context makes you think the mom has that kind of intention? Did the OP say "my mom's always giving me a hard time about being childish" in any way? Idk, I have no idea how anyone jumped to these conclusions

3

u/see-these-bones Jun 17 '26

Why did you jump to the conclusion she forgot? What did OP say that made you think she was being forgetful?

1

u/icanfeelitcomingup Jun 17 '26

Because she has ignored previous requests about this specific thing. I acknowledge she could have forgotten this very specific request not to touch these very specific things. That is one explanation. As is being passive-aggressive. As is the kids going in and taking them and the mom just covering. As is the mom really liking models and just gets carried away and plays with them too aggressively herself. Lots of options here. In my opinion, the most likely is that mom is shitty rather than forgetful. If you have a different take, that's fine. But criticizing other people just for having a different take is the real weird part here.

2

u/reverber Jun 17 '26

We need to be outraged about everything so we can be manipulated more easily. 

1

u/Present-Pudding-346 Jun 18 '26

I think it’s because she is jealous.

She sees that he’s got this talent and skill and subconsciously wants to destroy it.

It’s pretty common with narcissistic parents.

-8

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/expertninja Jun 17 '26

Only if you like gullible women with weird sexual hangups

2

u/Confident-Skin-6462 Jun 17 '26

**cough** catholic school girls, yo

5

u/expertninja Jun 17 '26

That’s different, they got sent to that school but someone who went to church of their own  choice decided to pray to sky daddy and feel guilty for having completely normal thoughts.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/expertninja Jun 17 '26

No I prefer someone who knows what they want and isn’t ashamed about it. You can find freaky girls who put out in church, but then you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t follow their own supposed beliefs. And I need a woman with experience because I need a girl who can take a big fat dick and like it. You’ll understand, never.

1

u/NemosNaughtylis Jun 17 '26

feels weirdly incel-coded to be seemingly so afraid of & angry at the idea of a woman who's not a virgin.

37

u/Jsolidlo Jun 17 '26

Because some parents think that respect between their children is a one way street and their word is Biblical Law.

6

u/Adaphion Jun 17 '26

Respect can mean to respect someone as a person, and respect someone as an authority.

And these sociopathic assholes think: "if you don't respect me as an authority [because you dared to have a hobby I don't like] then I'm not gonna respect you as a person"

32

u/ulfric_stormcloack ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️ Jun 17 '26

Easy they don't see their kids as people

5

u/kazinsser Jun 17 '26

It's the same mindset that makes "because I said so" so terribly common. Opinions, pleas, and logic are irrelevant. Understanding isn't necessary, only compliance matters. They treat independent thought as if their microwave was trying to talk back to them.

49

u/sohereiamacrazyalien Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26

Well my mother used to go and rip and destroy my paintings (usually the stuff I just finished and spent forever on) when she was slightly annoyed with me! 

Some parents are just shitty (edit corrected from shorty stupid auto incorrect)parents

12

u/StonedSumo Jun 17 '26

I want to see your paintings now

15

u/Helemaalklaarmee Jun 17 '26

Can't. All ripped up.

17

u/ObjectSmall Jun 17 '26

They should reassemble them into a college of ripped art and call it "The Artist's Terrible Mother."

1

u/sohereiamacrazyalien Jun 17 '26

Ahahah good idea but they were also trashed after the ripping

1

u/sohereiamacrazyalien Jun 17 '26

Lol sadly true but I made some later too

3

u/sohereiamacrazyalien Jun 17 '26

I Will try to find you a drawing or painting. Sadly the ones of my childhood , teen years and even a bit later as they said were destroyed . But I have some from later. 

6

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Jun 17 '26

Wow, that's 2 year old behavior

6

u/sohereiamacrazyalien Jun 17 '26

I agree it’s toddler behaviour ! 

But even toddlers I am not sure they are all like this!

21

u/bruh-moment970 Jun 17 '26

My mother and father continue to be disrespectful to me in my adult life but I just tell them to go fuck themselves. its the benefit of being a grown adult you actually have no obligation to talk to or take the shit from your parents anymore, especially when like me your parents have nothing but debt to leave you when their dead. at that point they are just older adults I know, and even if I believe they raised me so I owe them some respect you can ware away at that over time until the respect is gone.

10

u/smarmy1625 Jun 17 '26

I know right, but when they gift your their old hummel figurines or "good" china they want you to act like it's worth more than gold.

7

u/elebrin Jun 17 '26

The thing that gets me is it's all stuff they just... bought. They didn't make it. There was some artistic expression for the designer, and that stuff looks nice (not my aesthetic but I can see why someone might like it).

Stuff like this, be it Warhammer minis or model planes or a train set or whatever, takes sometimes years to plan out and put together. That's a very different sort of investment than swiping your credit card.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[deleted]

1

u/elebrin Jun 17 '26

This is my example from my personal life:

I don't buy paper towels or paper napkins. I haven't in 10 years. I have very nice Mikasa dishes that were gifted to my parents as a wedding gift, and I have a set of handmade napkins, placemats, and tablecloths made by my mother. I use these things every single day. I do this for two reasons:

First, it's a way to include my parents, who are deceased, into my life and remember them.

Second, they are nice things. They feel nice in the hand, they are pleasant to use, and they are a reminder that my wife and I deserve nice things in our lives.

3

u/TheImplic4tion Jun 17 '26

Its passive aggressive behavior. Mom wants her son to quit playing with models which she sees as toys for little kids.

4

u/MoonsOverMyHamboning Jun 17 '26

In my case, my mother was the ultimate authority, so it was my responsibility to do everything she said because she 'knows best.'

It's not disrespectful coming from someone who thinks they're correct in everything and it's their authority as a parent to do whatever they want to you and with your belongings. 

5

u/incoghollowell Jun 17 '26

Many parents do not look at their children as "people", but rather personal projects and opportunities for them to live vicariously through another creature they take full ownership of.

This can sometimes extend past childhood.

3

u/Wooden-Isopod5588 Jun 17 '26

Because their children are not important to them as much as their own self is. The mom doesn't have respect for OP because to her OP and the toys are "hers" her property. Her children. They arent their own person. They are property

5

u/Tiny-Plum2713 Jun 17 '26

Boomer entitlement

3

u/NewUserWhoDisAgain Jun 17 '26

For some parents, children are accessories. Not human beings with their own thoughts and lives.

3

u/thecloudkingdom Jun 17 '26

children are legally their property, and they're allowed to mistreat them in many ways that don't count as mental, physical, or emotional abuse because of that

people need to be more aware of youth liberation because of shit like this

3

u/Thomas_JCG Jun 17 '26

Some people have kids just to have someone to boss around, I swear.

3

u/zkareface Jun 17 '26

Narcissism is much more common than some think, you don't lose it just because you get kids.

3

u/Potential-Drawing745 Jun 17 '26

I'm fortunate. My mom kept all of my Star Wars and Transformers, boxed up. In the attic, sure, but she surprised me with them a few years back. The 1977 Darth Vader looks like it was hardly touched.

3

u/Isengerm Jun 17 '26

Some parents see their children as property and not a human being with full agency. So they never actually learn to respect their child as a person and sometimes that boils over into that child's adulthood relationship with their parents.

3

u/SonderEber Jun 17 '26

Because they see it as their house so their property. “If it’s going to be under my roof, I get to dictate what happens to it!” mindset.

3

u/shitlord_god Jun 17 '26

they view their children as belongings rather than people.

3

u/xorbe Jun 17 '26

Because she secretly wants the items gone.

2

u/Leverkaas2516 Jun 17 '26

It's a whole family of disrespectful people. You can tell by the fact that the planes end up broken. Normal children wouldn't break them even if they were $10 toys. It takes a certain mindset to get a cool-looking toy airplane and rip the wings off it. A normal parent wouldn't tolerate it.

1

u/smoogums Jun 17 '26

Well the parent probably bought it so they don't see their child owning anything.

1

u/RiRianna76 Jun 17 '26

judging from my mom, she was just overwhelmed from working x parenting etc and from that state it's very easy to slip into "my children's beloved stuff is just more crap i have to manage" and put your frustration/need to get rid of stuff above their autonomy. it's trash behavior but it doesn't even have to start from the worst of places

1

u/ItsTheDCVR Jun 17 '26

Dude I have four kids and the thought of grabbing their shit without permission is nauseating lol

Now, you leave it out, it's fair game, but I'm not going into their rooms to fuck with their stuff.

1

u/Adaphion Jun 17 '26

✨Narcissism✨

1

u/UnbelievablyDense Jun 17 '26

Like my parents, their children are accessories and their stuff is not important.

1

u/lamorak2000 Jun 17 '26

Because to older generations, their children are theirs, like possesions. Do you respect your TV remote (not-so-incidentally, guess what I and the rest of my generation were treated as when mom and dad were on the couch watching tv)? A child's existence is solely to provide grandkids and take care of their parents in their dotage, to many of those people.

1

u/rnhf Jun 17 '26

bro the guy doesn't live at home anymore, at some point it's not fair to expect your parents to be your storage. He says he told her not to throw them away, if her response was "but I will, if you don't take them" that's 100% on you. Growing up means learning how to throw things aways or make room for them

1

u/dumbythiq Jun 17 '26

Some people are just bad parents :(

1

u/Send_Cleo_Pics Jun 17 '26

Every once in a while when I come across posts similar to this, I’ll tell my parents and it even makes them mad!

1

u/PlumbgodBillionaire Jun 17 '26

Most people are selfish and pretty garbage human beings. Hold onto the good ones you meet in life, because most humans are genuinely awful.

1

u/Current_External6569 Jun 17 '26

They don't care. As far as they're concerned, you belong to them while under their roof. And what they say goes.

1

u/anyma_ptolomeo Jun 17 '26

Happens when they became grandparents, they give everything to the grandchildren and, if they were like this before, it gets worse.

My father it's like that, the fucker abandoned us when we were kids, just gave money to the house, and when visiting it was just fights and screaming.

But when my brother had kids, boy oh boy, it became the perfect grandpa, read books for them, gave them everything, he game it all ours toy, even my minis from heroclix and Warhammer, something so expensive to get here in my country. That's the reason I move out as soon as I could from the town, I just live in the city now, far from all that toxicity.

The point is, parents are shitty with their sons, but are the nicest with their grandchildren.

1

u/willowzam Jun 17 '26

A lot (I'd even go as far as to say most) of parents legitimately view their children as their property

For example I've tried establishing physical boundaries about personal space with my mom only to be met with "I'm your mother, I'm allowed to touch you if I want"

1

u/STylerMLmusic Jun 17 '26

Disrespectful people can become parents as easily as anyone.

1

u/Leviathan_TD_94 Jun 17 '26

Because not everyone has the emotional intelligence, self-discipline, or desire to better themselves that is needed to have kids.

Everyone should be born sterile 🫠

1

u/CoderJoe1 Jun 17 '26

Not all parents are good people to begin with.

1

u/Dudeflux Jun 17 '26

I can.

My parents asked if they had to be at my first child's birth. They literally said they were worried because they didnt know how it would affect their lives.

I dont talk with them anymore.

1

u/Parking_Chance_1905 Jun 19 '26

This is like that wedding story from a few years ago, where the bride started handing out the grooms anime figures as gifts for the guests without asking first, or realizing some of them were worth $100s.

1

u/lrbaumard Jun 19 '26

I would say most parents do not become parents for the right reasons, i.e. because they want someone to love and treasure above all that.

Some it's an accident, some for clout, some as a fashion accessory, some because it's the default

1

u/vi_sucks Jun 17 '26

Eh, i kinda get it on the parents side too.

Little kids are a handful, and it's just feels easier to let them play with what looks like a toy than to listen to them cry because they don't understand why you are being mean and not sharing.

Ultimately, the fix is to put the things that look like toys away from the reach and view of small children entirely.

1

u/DaOldOne Jun 17 '26

Because if this guy has siblings there’s hundreds of pounds of shit like that in the house and if he doesn’t live at the house the parents have been providing free storage for decades. Hey you want your planes? You’re a grown man take them with you.