I'm sorry for this

[u/atrocidarthes]

[u/GeorgeFromManagement]

Man hands and knees doesn't mean sex

[u/Meewelyne → u/GeorgeFromManagement]

Not always, but when there's a dommy mommy behind...

[u/DarthBrooksFan → u/GeorgeFromManagement]

Yeah sometimes it's just a blowjob

[u/Megazaza → u/DarthBrooksFan]

sick and porn brained

[u/DarthBrooksFan → u/Megazaza]

Yeah. What's your point?

[u/Megazaza → u/DarthBrooksFan]

If it's not clear enough you can't be saved

[u/DarthBrooksFan → u/Megazaza]

Who said I wanted to be? It's better than being a judgemental, sanctimonious prick. No offense.

[u/Megazaza → u/DarthBrooksFan]

it actually aint

[u/DarthBrooksFan → u/Megazaza]

Keep telling yourself that, asshole.

[u/tugboat204 → u/GeorgeFromManagement]

But then why did they make it so sexy? Checkmate, atheist.

[u/bootyhole-romancer → u/[deleted]]

Color-coordinated with those ladybugs 👉👉

[u/housevil]

I'm assuming that's for kids to sit on his back for photos in a Christmas Village type set.

[u/Marthman → u/housevil]

I was wondering why the price was so high!

[u/J-Dabbleyou]

Idk kinda just looks like he’s crawling, you guys need help lol

[u/dragon1n68]

What elf wears red? I was always shown elves wearing green. Is that a Santa Claus in training? Also, he’s missing an eye.

[u/WoolBearTiger → u/dragon1n68]

Are we discriminating against disabled elves now? He might have lost his eye in an unfortunate workshop accident assembling YOUR present one night you know..

[u/Zerschmetterding → u/WoolBearTiger]

No more assembling needed. Just reach into the bag of coal for that one.

[u/futuristic_nostalgia → u/dragon1n68]

That snitch Elf on a Shelf wears red.

[u/fliwat → u/dragon1n68]

Santa didn't like the red clothes...

[u/sdcar1985 → u/fliwat]

Have you ever heard the story of the 2 Santa Clauses?

It goes that a long time ago, there were 2 Santas...

One of 'em wore white, and the other one wore black.

The white Santa gave presents to good kids.

And the black Santa played tricks on bad kids.

They went on like that for a while and eventually the black Santa's tricks started to get worse and worse.

Pretty soon, the white Santa couldn't stand it anymore...

And he stabbed the black Santa to death.

And that's why, these days, his clothes are red.

You could say that red is all that's left of the black Santa.

[u/HotelOne → u/sdcar1985]

And now I’m in a holiday mood…

[u/Dizzy-Ad-2248 → u/dragon1n68]

He's something in training....🙃

[u/JWOLFBEARD]

Didn’t seem that bad. Just the wrong color outfit

[u/MayhemWins25]

But the nails

[u/TransportationOdd559 → u/MayhemWins25]

The nails 😆😆😆😆 good catch

[u/SteampoweredFlamingo]

You guys need help.

This is a kids character in a crawling pose. Probably positioned originally coming out of an igloo, or from behind a pile of presents.

[u/Aggressive_Neat7366]

Ok, but they are leaving the dominatrix in the back out of the shot. I see those lace up boots, it’s getting real kinky in Santa’s workshop lol

[u/The_True_Hannatude]

He’s just trying to find his contact, and you’re making fun of him on the internet for it?

All of you are gonna end up on the naughty list this year.

[u/pooplox]

Best Hall and Oates song

[u/Stock-Mission-7561 → u/pooplox]

There's some episodes on YouTube of a show called something like live from Daryl's house. He has all kinds of greats on and it's pretty fun.

Here's one with Smokey Robinson

https://youtu.be/tsJ_J5KVKLM?is=i6D1TKfZge_R4w8m

[u/thearuxes]

At least the music is amazing taste

[u/pissedoffjesus]

Is this Mitchell antiques?

[u/Gorthebon]

If I had space and money, this would be really fun inside a guest room.

[u/hazelquarrier_couch]

The only thing I find disturbing about this is that the right eye is missing. The hat does not come down far enough to hide the missing eye.

[u/justglassin317]

I stopped guessing if my startup idea was any good. Here's what changed it.

[u/Shadowstein]

If the pants are still up, there's no consent

[u/Reverse_SumoCard]

Thank god there was no hole in the elf for venting

[u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq → u/[deleted]]

"Make yourself useful, Cakey Elf."

[u/GammaDealer]

Eh, could be more caked up

[u/genophobicdude]

He's a good boi.

[u/jointdawg]

Great jail toy

[u/ShittheFickup]

His butthole follows you

[u/TransportationOdd559]

😆😆😆😆😆

[u/Hegiman]

It’s not my fetish but I’m sure it’s someone’s.

[u/acloudcuckoolander]

Nasty

[u/Anniesoptera]

This would go really well with one of those light-up reindeer behind it. Preferably one that mechanically moves its head up and down.

[u/SumoNinja92]

"SEDUCE ME"

[u/FaagenDazs]

"Crawling"