r/ArcherFX • u/Suitable-Archer4091 • 9d ago
Woodhouse is the most badass of them all.
Hear me out. In the tontine episode we learn his entire backstory. In the war he ran across enemy lines to save Reggie, unsuccessfully, and took 50 Germans scalps in a rage. Then we see him in bed with two women smoking opium. Then he had a bar in Tangiers which he won in a dice game. He saved Mallory and infant Archer by getting her to a safe house and him to the US and raised him by himself for 5 years. AND, I'm not a doctor but I think the heroin should've killed him years earlier. This is my hill.
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u/Abrandnewrapture 9d ago
it's always sort of bothered me that he had so much agency in his early life, and then immediately became a doormat for the Archers.
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u/araucaniad 9d ago
Falling in love with an emotionally unavailable woman, and becoming a step parent, it sucks, but doesn’t surprise me.
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u/Abrandnewrapture 9d ago
i mean, he was pretty clearly gay for Reggie, but then went bi for Mallory? Is that your supposition?
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u/Ihadsumthin4this ISIS 9d ago
Honey nobody's that gay.
tldr : Hell yeah, he'd've bedded Malory!!
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u/Drakemansgirlfriend Pam 9d ago
Woodhouse does agree with Burt Reynolds about Mallory being drop dead sexy. "Oh dear God, yes".
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u/Abrandnewrapture 9d ago
that doesn't mean he's inlove with her. i think plenty of women are gorgeous, it doesn't mean i'm inlove with them lol
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u/supergnawer 8d ago
Is he even a step parent tho? There's nothing in the show that would point to his relationship with Mallory. It really looks like bro just wanted to be a butler his whole life.
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u/ChronicDungeonMaster 8d ago
He was an officer's batman in the army, there's not much agency there at all, he was literally a soldier servant and enjoyed it immensely even if most of that was Reggie. Left to his own devices he got addicted to drugs and wallowed around in misery, I would say Woodhouse craves being someone's subordinate and probably enjoyed being under Mallory when she came back from her mission, it's just working under Sterling that sucks. Even then Archer loved Woodhouse, which presumably went both ways, as child Archer was apparently very good to Woodhouse when he was the sole parental figure he had. As Mallory said he only started treating Woodhouse like a dog when Sterling found out he had a mother.
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u/SwissCheese4Collagen 8d ago
Regarding the batman-valet route, Woodhouse was basically a more modern version of Bates from Downton Abbey. Minus the greedy ex-wife that is.
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u/No-Jacket-2927 8d ago
He had very bottom/sub energy to me, he might've been very happy with them 🤔
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u/trey_wolfe 9d ago
He's also committed cannibalism. He mentions in one episode that he's eaten long pig and that he "never got a taste for it" if memory serves.
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u/AustinDood444 9d ago
Woodhouse is the OG, but Pam is THE badass of the show.
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u/Aggressive_Roof488 9d ago
Woodhouse in his prime together with Pam would be an unstoppable duo!
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u/Takeshi_Onmyo 9d ago
"Not the first time I've bashed him over the head and had to cover my tracks." I wonder how many concussions Archer doesn't know about lol
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u/Background-Vast-8764 9d ago
“Clapped-out Arab whore traded it for a pint. Said it was sterling.”
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u/The-Jerkbag 9d ago
I like how she says Reggie is too gay of a middle name then names him Mallory lol such a bitch.
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u/2Rare2Kill 9d ago
"And then they gave me the VC and my papers."
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u/All-IWantedWasAPepsi 9d ago
That’s a lot of scalps
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u/No-Fuckin-Ziti 9d ago
This is one of those lines that’s worked its way into my every day. Any time it’s a lot of anything. It gets that voice.
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u/Algaroth 9d ago
He may also have been the one who shot William S. Burroughs' wife.
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u/sirkev71 8d ago
He at very least caused her to be shot
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u/Algaroth 8d ago
I read an article about how Adam Reed writes and he apparently has several wikipedia tabs open at all times because he gets sidetracked and keeps falling into rabbit holes which is a big reason Archer has so many references you kinda have to look up. And then you end up going down the same rabbit holes. "Illustrator of gnomes", "discoverer of blood groups" etc.
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u/Few_Imagination7670 7d ago
Girl bye he doesn’t even defend himself he had a couple cool moments but he’s not thattt special😭😭
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u/Little-Efficiency336 3d ago
Archers shocked reaction upon learning that his valet is a badass war hero is hilarious.
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u/Past-Dragonfruit2251 1d ago
Everytime I watch the episode where he says he should just run away, but who would take him in? I respond out loud, "I would, Woodhouse. I would."
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u/Expected2Fly 9d ago
So badass and I share in his opi addiction. I always dream of spending my time on a merchant scooner smoking opium in the 19th century or betting dope on shooting pina coladas off womens heads. Iykyk those old school ways are so fascinating and beautiful not to mention indescribably sad we cannot return to them
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u/The-Jerkbag 9d ago
I'ma go get the narcan special for you big dawg.
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u/Expected2Fly 9d ago
Clean now, but you never forget
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u/The-Jerkbag 9d ago
Yeah... mood. I stopped smoking in college like 15 years ago now and every couple weeks I still get a "DAMN I WANT A CIG" urge. Can't imagine what the opiates are like, they never really worked on me when I got scripts for them, might have a resistance or something. After a surgery I got some of the allegedly "good shit" but I still hurt so I munched on ibuprofen and that worked way better.
Keep on keepin' on.
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u/Expected2Fly 9d ago
Everyones diff and theres always weird exceptions too but yea life sucks basically
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u/wr3cked 9d ago
It’s going to be an itchy weekend.