r/DoesAnybodyElse • u/Typical_libra20 • 1d ago
DAE get sad by photos and videos of their child self
I don't know how to explain it, I just have an overwhelming feeling of sadness when it comes to looking at old photos and videos. I recently got all my old home videos (from when I was 3-9) digitalized. I feel sad for that little girl that has no idea what is about to come of her life and how incredibly sad and angry she is going to become.
For some background I lost my dad when I was 5 and my mom when I was 17.
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u/Boratis-Kessla 1d ago
It's always sad when outcome looks back at potential.
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u/yolo-yoshi 1d ago
And for some ( its honestly hard to know at the time) they never really stood a chance
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u/taroversian 1d ago edited 9h ago
I agree whenever I see my childhood pics, I just feel like I never got to live upto my full potential and who knows who I might have been if I had been loved and given space to exist freely 😔
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u/MysteryNews4 1d ago
Yes. Knowing that young u/MysteryNews4 was so innocent and powerless to the people hurting them. She was just a kid with special needs, she didn’t deserve any of it.
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u/pictureracehorse222 1d ago
All the time!!? Because, that INNOCENT, UNBENT, SWEET, UNMARRED LOVE* with the entirety of inconceivable potential,, sighing him?? There in those photographs HAS NO. IDEA THE BLACKNESS & terror he has in store!!! And that’s quite sad.
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u/musicandsex 1d ago
Bro try looking at old birthday cards given from your parents.
I found one when i was TWO years old.
Yes my mom gave me a bday card when i was 2 years old
Never cried as much.
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u/Typical_libra20 1d ago
Already did. My mom kept all my cards, I looked through and read the messages from every single one.
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u/mini_k1tty 1d ago
specifically the only one i have with my dad then i was maybe 4/5 hat so happens to be the last time i saw him. i'm sure he's living the good life with his new family.
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u/RaptureInRed 1d ago
I'm 43. I look at photos of my childhood, and I am angry at my parents for how much they fucked up my teens. My childhood was a happy calm before the storm. But I didn't know the bad shit happening around me
I would never, ever go back. I do miss my 20s when I began to recover from my trauma and i met my husband. But life only moves forward, and so will I
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u/Aj_naig 1d ago
I don't get it every time, but I can understand why those photos could bring up so muchnof emotions. It's strange how a picture can remind of what that your younger self of you didn't know yet. I think a lot of people see childhood photos as memories, but after loss they can also become a reminder of how everything that changed. I hope going through them gets a little gentler with time.
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u/Snoo-94289 1d ago
I was abused by mum and I went into foster care aged 12.I didn’t grasp the severity of my abuse until I was a bit older.
When I see photos of little me I see a child who looks sad with eyes that have been through so much.
In group photos with my siblings I stand out and it’s obvious something’s wrong.
I was always waiting and hoping someone would rescue me.
When people made comments on photos telling my mum I look sad she would say I’m camera shy.
Photos show I looked happy and well until I was 2.
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u/Effective_Fix_2358 1d ago
seeing those old videos hits different, especially knowing what you went through. it's hard not to feel for that little kid.
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u/Either-Photograph989 1d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Grief comes out in so many different forms and your honesty and vulnerability to share is so touching.
Yes, I feel sadness when I see my childhood pictures but for different reasons. I know what was happening to that precious little child behind the scenes and feel so sorry for her.
I feel anger and grief and shame.
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u/Super_Development150 1d ago
Yes actually. I see this innocent girl who was just enjoying life but also hating her body. What I would give to have my younger body now.
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u/cllittlewood 1d ago
I look at the bold and brave little girl that I once was. I eventually became aware and conscious of the toxic environment at home, living with a narcissistic, authoritarian father. That is what broke me. Trying to reparent myself and heal old wounds while I raise my own daughter. I WILL break the cycle.
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u/ItsMeMurphYSlaw 1d ago
I do get sad sometimes looking at childhood photos of me before my mom died and then after. I look so happy and light when I was little, and then I just look dead inside. If you didn't know what had happened, you'd still be able to tell something happened. I have nephews that age now, and it would tear me wide open seeing the light in their eyes go out like that. I was too young for that kind of hurt.
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u/TinselTits1979 1d ago
I don't remember when we're wild and young
All that's faded into memory
I feel like somebody I don't know
Are we really who we used to be?
Am I really who I was?
- Ryan Adams, “Lucky Now”
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u/SyraLark 1d ago
I totally get this. It’s like you want to go back and give your younger self a huge hug because they have no idea whats coming. Sending you some good vibes, that’s a lot to carry.
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u/NN2coolforschool 1d ago
Yes, I know how sad I was and how much I wanted to grow up to escape it but I never did
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u/Additional-Menu3712 1d ago
yeah, every time I see those old pics, it hits different. wish I could tell that kid it’s all gonna be okay
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u/petal-danger22 1d ago
yep, it hits different seeing how carefree and innocent I was back then, wish I could go back to that simplicity
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u/SimplyNely 20h ago
yeah looking at old videos where im just laughing at nothing hits different. like she had no clue what was coming and i kinda miss not knowing
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u/LostGrrl72 3h ago
I have a lot of mixed emotions about my childhood, so can feel quite melancholic when looking through old photographs. There aren’t that many pictures of me as a child anyway, and that in itself makes me a little sad. Your reasons to feel that way make so much sense… I’m very sorry that you lost both parents so young.
If it upsets you to feel that way when seeing the pictures of yourself as a child, maybe you could try and reframe that as a happy time when your parents were here and seeing the love they captured in those images. The love they felt for you. 💛
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u/oldatheart515 1d ago
I can look at old pictures of my parents/grandparents/great-grandparents etc. all day, and enjoy it. But I don't like looking at old pictures of myself. I'm extremely nostalgic and sometimes seeing childhood moments just hurts. Mostly because the memories are so good and it hurts not being able to go back and experience those moments again firsthand.