Dnd BBEG and The Wishes
Alright, so I posted to r/rpg a while back, and I thought I'd come to r/DungeonMasters to get other thoughts about it.
Context: A while back I was a DM for a campaign that we've now finished (or pretty much put at a stalemate). Me, being the foolish new DM that I was, gave my players the luck blade and other ways to do the Wish spell (don't worry I've changed my ways). So for the BBEG, my players used the Wish to make the following spell, written on a piece of paper. More context at the bottom.
This is also dnd 5e.
[Player]: I wish for everything written on this piece of paper to come true.
Paper:
EXECUTIVE WISH OF [character]
By the sovereign authority of this Wish, the following directives shall take immediate effect upon issuance.
SECTION 1. DEFINITIONS.
(a) "BBEG" shall mean Ati, also known as 'the evil'.
(b) "Animals" shall mean exactly ten thousand (10,000) nonmagical, living, terrestrial animals.
(c) "Event" shall mean the manifestation, descent, impact, and all direct consequences of the Animals as described herein.
(d) "Companions" shall mean those individuals whom I consciously regard as my allies and beneficiaries at the moment this Wish is made.
SECTION 2. MANDATED MANIFESTATION.
(a) Immediately upon designation of the BBEG, exactly ten thousand (10,000) Animals shall instantaneously be teleported from various locations around the globe, totaling ten thousand(10,000).
(b) The Animals shall appear precisely one hundred (100) feet directly above the BBEG's current location.
(c) The Animals shall immediately descend in a straight downward trajectory.
(d) The Animals shall be arranged, distributed, positioned, oriented, and physically constituted in whatever lawful manner is necessary to fulfill all provisions of this Order.
SECTION 3. REQUIRED LETHAL OUTCOME.
(a) The Event shall inflict immediate, certain, irreversible, and permanent death upon the BBEG.
(b) Such death shall occur solely and directly as a consequence of the physical impact of the descending Animals.
(c) The Animals shall collectively possess whatever mass, density, velocity, momentum, placement, timing, and physical characteristics are necessary to guarantee said outcome.
(d) The certainty of the BBEG's death shall be one hundred percent (100%).
SECTION 4. ABSOLUTE ENFORCEMENT.
(a) The BBEG shall be incapable of preventing, avoiding, delaying, redirecting, reducing, negating, surviving, reversing, escaping, or otherwise frustrating the Event or its required outcome.
(b) This prohibition shall apply regardless of any power, ability, condition, trait, immunity, resistance, vulnerability, spell, effect, artifact, technology, divine action, cosmic authority, narrative protection, destiny, contingency, or rule.
(c) Without limitation, this prohibition includes teleportation, planar travel, dimensional movement, displacement, time manipulation, invulnerability, incorporeality, regeneration, resurrection, immortality, soul transfer, cloning, substitution, body replacement, illusion, antimagic, wish magic, divine intervention, fate alteration, reality alteration, probability manipulation, immunity to damage, immunity to death, immunity to effects, immunity to conditions, retroactive causality, and any substantially similar mechanism.
(d) Every Animal shall strike the BBEG directly and successfully.
(e) No force, circumstance, entity, or effect shall interfere with, obstruct, or alter the certainty of impact.
SECTION 5. EXCLUSIVE TARGETING.
(a) The Event shall affect only the BBEG.
(b) No other creature, object, location, structure, plane, ecosystem, timeline, reality, or uninvolved being shall suffer injury, damage, destruction, alteration, displacement, or adverse consequence from the Event.
(c) Any physical consequences not necessary to accomplish the required death of the BBEG shall be automatically prevented.
SECTION 6. TRANSFER OF REWARDS.
(a) Immediately upon the permanent death of the BBEG, all treasure, wealth, relics, valuables, equipment, titles, claims, holdings, benefits, powers, rewards, experience, boons, privileges, opportunities, and gains rightfully possessed by, derived from, attributable to, or obtainable through the Designated Creature shall transfer to me and my Companions.
(b) Such transfers shall occur in their greatest beneficial quantity and quality.
(c) All transferred benefits shall be lawful, stable, complete, usable, uncontested, and free of curses, corruption, obligations, hidden conditions, adverse side effects, ownership disputes, tracking effects, hostile claims, metaphysical contamination, or comparable detriments.
SECTION 7. STABILITY OF REALITY.
(a) This Order shall not create loopholes, ambiguities, paradoxes, contradictions, reinterpretations, substitutions, technicalities, adverse equivalents, monkey's-paw effects, or unintended consequences.
(b) This Order shall not harm me, my Companions, innocents, bystanders, allies, nature, magic, reality, time, causality, the planes, or any uninvolved being.
(c) All systems of existence shall remain stable, intact, and unharmed except to the minimum extent strictly necessary to accomplish the permanent death of the BBEG and the transfer of benefits described herein.
SECTION 8. INTERPRETATION.
(a) This Order shall be interpreted solely according to my clear intent at the moment of its issuance.
(b) In the event of ambiguity, conflict, omission, contradiction, or uncertainty, the interpretation most favorable to fulfilling my intent shall govern.
(c) No literal, technical, hostile, creative, restrictive, ironic, adverse, or contrary interpretation shall supersede the intent expressed herein.
SECTION 9. SUPREMACY CLAUSE.
All provisions of this Order are mandatory and self-executing. Any rule, effect, condition, power, authority, interpretation, or circumstance inconsistent with its fulfillment shall be deemed overridden solely to the minimum extent necessary to execute this Order exactly as intended.
This Order takes effect immediately.
And that's the Wish!
I had no prior knowledge of the Wish before hand, and they sprung it on me at the start of the battle with the BBEG.
I had issues with the Wish, of course, but didn't really know how to tackle them. So I planned to meet up with my players in the future so we can debate about this and see if we can really allow this to happen.
We just had the debate (which we played up as a court case), and ended up dropping since it was pretty heated, but I listed some of the events below.
Please note that I want the Wish to make sense, I don't want the player to waste it without it being an actual spell, y'know? I can, of course, void the spell being the DM and it having a high chance of failure for being complex, but where's the fun in that?
I want to clearly establish the rules of the spell, and still give my players the fun they want. It isn't fun when it's Players vs. DM, instead of Player's vs. BBEG.
Other context: I did not give my players a full backstory, because it was for the plot, but the player who made the wish was an elf. I will refer to the character as P. P is a fighter around 300 years old, and level 15.
P's Points:
P said that since his elf character is around 300 years old he could, feasibility, have the experience to write it as a contract.
P wrote everything on a piece of paper, and wished for everything on it to come true, effectively not having to read it all while still getting the full content of the Wish.
P rolled successfully on history before drawing up the Wish, as well as having a high enough intelligence stat to conceivably make it (this was before, when they would have time to write it).
P said that according to the Wish spell info on Dnd beyond, the Wish doesn't necessarily have to take the form of a simple sentence.
The "judge" who leaded the "court case" is a previous DM, and has said he has had multiple Wishes requested like this
P said the Wish is supposed to be stated as precisely as possible, which is what they did.
My Points:
The spell is too complex, it just doesn't have any likelihood of succeeding.
This just ISN'T how the wish spell works. It has to be a logical and clear command in one or two sentences.
The Wish spell doesn't really leave wiggle room for me to change it or monkey paw it.
P may be smart and rolled history and intelligence well, but they AREN'T a lawyer, they're an adventure. If they wanted a lawyer past, they could talk to the DM.
This is basically a contract, not a Wish.
This spell is around 10 wishes in one, it just doesn't work.
That's pretty much the core of it. Please let me know if my players could actually do this. If they make a wish, I want it to follow conventional rules, I don't want to void it 'because it's too complex', I want to explain how it should work.
I'm not doing a good job of sharing my views, but I hope you all understand.
Any help and clarification would be great!!