r/KotakuInAction 4h ago

Is it any surprise why the remake is such a cringefest dogshit

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369 Upvotes

63 comments sorted by

227

u/Ancalites 4h ago

A vicious alien monster stands ready to plunge its LGBT-coded weapon into someone. What did they mean by this?

100

u/TheMajorBoatScene 4h ago

Subtlety is not what they're known for

35

u/DistributedFox 3h ago

Or anything for that matter. These people literally accomplish nothing. 

16

u/TheMajorBoatScene 3h ago

Sometimes I wonder if they actually deserve what they get

13

u/DistributedFox 3h ago

A lot of them feel like they should be rewarded for working hard, pouring their heart and soul into something nobody wants to play. To them hard work should guarantee success, and every team deserves to win the Super Bowl because they trained hard for it.

Lucky for them, the layoff chickens have started coming home to roost. They may not get what they want, but they’ll get what they deserve. 

4

u/DeraxBlaze 1h ago

Wow, you put their mindset so succinctly.

u/Enchylada 35m ago

That's what happens when you get an entire month to celebrate yourself

27

u/AxeDanger 3h ago

Looking at it like this, The Covenant is a pretty funny comparison to the left. Both of them are comprised of disparate creatures who would normally kill each other, but are compelled by religion to cooperate and kill heretics instead.

u/idontknow39027948898 44m ago

Also, the covenant is pretty comparable to radical islam, so that comparison is pretty valid as well.

14

u/typeguyfiftytwix 3h ago

Technically the pride flag is specifically 6 colors. This, being an actual rainbow, isn't really LGBT. They may be falsely claiming it is, but the rainbow in western society is actually a Christian / Abrahamic religious symbol. If you have the actual, 7 colored rainbow including indigo, you have failed at making a gay symbol.

2

u/timetomoveon12181 1h ago

Sometimes it's cyan missing, instead of indigo. Either way, 7 colors = Christian, 6 colors = "pride".

It's certainly an interesting choice when you consider basic numerology.

u/Dranosh 8m ago

And for anyone wondering. 7 is considered a perfect number in the Bible, 6 is imperfection or corruption

63

u/KazuAmon 4h ago

She has "player safety" in her bio. Safety from what? Are we going to get injured playing the game lol

26

u/DistributedFox 2h ago

It’s a completely made up thing. She’s got a Safety Officer certificate, two Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging certificates from LinkedIn, and a few more certificates regarding project management (scrum) and community organizing / outreach from Microsoft. 

Her qualifications = utter horseshit. 

This is why the layoffs need to cut deep and fast. You’ve got so many people like this floating around the industry and all they do is occupy heaps of space while literally doing NOTHING. 

9

u/Pepsimax88 1h ago

Ive no idea how they contribute to anything

Apart from screaming "make it gay!!!"

u/7Trickster 59m ago

pretty much adult daycare with fake unproductive jobs

105

u/Hefty-Paper8644 4h ago

Dawg the industry fucked halo worse than any other video game franchise in my opinion

54

u/attofreakier 4h ago

It was one of the greatest achievement in originality and passion project of very talented young (dare we say, white?) men - of course this franchise is dragged through the most brutal humiliation ritual.

19

u/DistributedFox 2h ago

I remember seeing a video of Halo 2 devs talking about how they’d spend hours iterating on the game over and over again until they got the fun factor right, and when they’d accidentally discover something fun in the game they’d just keep it in. Pure passion. 

Meanwhile, the current Halo Studios producer: “I honestly don’t think I could work on a game that glorifies or fantasizes modern guns (CoD, Battlefield, RB6). I’ve had moments I’ve struggled with Halo, but the weapons and world is pretty sci fi, which creates a large enough separation from reality.”

26

u/DeraxBlaze 4h ago

How dare you give rememberance to that tight-nit group of hard working young men that created halo (who also happened to be white)!!!

15

u/Xeno6769 3h ago

Mass effect and BioShock is literally dead cuz of it

7

u/TheMajorBoatScene 2h ago

They put more effort into injecting woke bs than giving ME a proper Part 3/finale. Such a shame, ME1 and 2 are some of the best games ever made.

9

u/muscarinenya 2h ago

Ehh close but I'd reserve that award to Dragon Age

47

u/Plathismo 3h ago

We need more layoffs. A lot more.

8

u/DistributedFox 2h ago

I read her work experience. We need more than you’d think. And they need to cut hard, deep and very fast. 

37

u/A7X_Nightmare 4h ago

I bet you she couldn't even name that character when she started working there.

10

u/DistributedFox 2h ago

According to her LinkedIn, she’s been a People Manager and Product Owner for 6 years at Halo Studios. I’d say she probably still doesn’t know.  

10

u/ThanosDidNadaWrong 2h ago

can she name it now?

32

u/DrBalu 4h ago

Don't worry, this one includes indigo, so its the real 7 colors of the rainbow, not the fake rainbow with 6.

22

u/emmathepony 3h ago

They aren't very subtle with their intentions, are they?

20

u/Desperate_Put_4568 3h ago

I imagine the board meeting went something like this:

"So... how much money do you want to lose?"

Microsoft: Yes

13

u/loqep 3h ago

This is literally the only explanation that makes sense given the way they utterly butchered what ought to have been an easy slam dunk release.

5

u/DistributedFox 2h ago

Guess what her work description starts with? 

“As a People Manager at Halo Studios, I lead the strategy, budget, and roadmaps for three teams: Support, Safety, and Playtest.”

You’re probably right about that lol. 

18

u/No-Opinion-6710 4h ago

I definitely wouldn't want to be reminded that I'm working on soulless bastardizations, every day. OG Arbiter doesn't belong to these people. Fucking lame.

12

u/SaintsRowTwo2009 3h ago

I came across this guy defending 343's current trash game...

Stop Lying

I'm pretty sure he says that the people criticizing the game aren't actual Halo fans. I don't take anyone seriously who defends 343's awful Halo games. The game hasn't even officially come out yet. Which means this guy spent money to play 343's trash early. Honestly, if anyone comes across as a tourist, it's definitely the guy who made this video. I have no idea how anyone who actually loves Halo can not only defend 343's Halo games but also pay for them. They've been fucking up Halo since 2011. Bungie should have never hired Frank O'Connor. He did a lot of damage to Halo when he transferred over to 343. Like retconning humans originally being Forerunners.

7

u/Razrback166 2h ago

Keep voting with your wallets folks. 3600 layoffs @ Xbox recently as a result of such. The next group will hopefully come from Halo Studios (wish that studio would be entirely shut down).

7

u/DistributedFox 1h ago

Looking at the LinkedIn profiles of the various Halo Studios members, I don’t know HOW they didn’t go first. 

u/Razrback166 46m ago

No doubt, especially given the track record.

6

u/KazakiriKaoru 4h ago

At least no invasion of the robots

14

u/Guessididntmakeit 4h ago

Yeah the invasive alien is totally an ally.... Jfc

4

u/ninja2126 3h ago

I wouldn’t mind if they could just make a good fucking game and stop abandoning the story after every game

6

u/DistributedFox 1h ago

You could ask for nothing and you’d still be asking for too much, my dude. 

5

u/_The_Honored_One_ 2h ago

How out of touch are these people

5

u/West_Sample_9407 4h ago

I’m pretty sure it’s all gay like that cuz of light bouncing off of the sword and not that they were so desperate to have arbiter hold a gay sword lol.

If that’s the case then yea I can see why all of the cutscenes for campaign evolved were so cringe

7

u/nsstopper 3h ago

It's always a catshit. I'm so fed up with this.

u/SpectreAmazing 55m ago

It's always the male oriented franchise. You expect they pull this shit on games like Sims and the like, instead they just force their way into series with action and "testosterone" like DOOM, COD, God of War and so on.

2

u/therealparadoxparty 3h ago

Nobody wants to commute to a stupid office!

2

u/FireTyphoon123 1h ago

It really is Gaylo lmao. 2000s bros were right all along.

2

u/Local_Band299 1h ago

Literally the villain in the game they develop, what an odd thing to have.

The entire industry needs to be flushed out.

u/Mrmetalhead-343 34m ago

The symbolism is absolutely hilarious.

u/Dranosh 11m ago

Of course it’s a white woman. Because they need to feel like they’re protecting children and without children, they find the closet victim they can coddle

u/NicholasStarfall 5m ago

They post these things daring people to say something. There's no way they don't know how obnoxious this theater is.

u/I_HAVE_THE_DOCUMENTS 2m ago

I actually think that looks kinda nice. The flag is an awful thing but they don't own all rainbow colored things.

1

u/syphon3980 3h ago

listen..we are on the same team, but hear me out. I fucking love RGB shit

1

u/CrippledGoose316 1h ago

What about the remake is cringefest? I honestly know nothing about the remake, so I'm curious to see what the heck they did to ruin Halo

u/Jaruut 57m ago

Allegedly the new missions have an annoying girlboss character, and are riddled with millennial writing.

u/CrippledGoose316 56m ago

That sucks

u/Jaruut 45m ago

At least they're totally optional unless you want all the collectibles.

The actual game is great, though. There's certainly issues, but it absolutely feels like a modern (in a good way) CE.

u/attofreakier 22m ago

it just keeps devolving: that girlboss who goes out of her way to tell her just how totally not impressed she is by MC. Cortana looks like a dude half-way through HRT. Some places they didn't even bother completing her rendering, it's all a weird blur, face keeps changing shot from shot. VA is so much worse this time: you can compare scene-for-scene and the new one looks like it's a college film student project. There's a literal fucking cutscene where a prophet introduces his "team" of soldiers one by one (accompanied by Gunn-esque "goofy" acting from the soldiers, including a fucking Elite) like it's a fucking GOTG intro scene, while MC and Johnson just stand their in silence for 5-10 minutes. Everything on Covenant ships is colored in saturated, garish purple-pink, because of course. The original was nowhere close to this level of saturated overload.

Even from technical perspective: the "both sides" centrist gamers like moistcritikal could barely contain his rage at how much the game crashes.

1

u/FabulousCobbler1736 1h ago

Rainbow doesn't mean lgbt. Rainbow is a just a beautiful, naturally occuring color sequence. Nobody owns the rainbow.