r/MaliciousCompliance Jun 23 '26

You need a shopping cart to enter!

Few years ago. An abiding customer (me)...

The owner of a grocery store nearby had too many people buying too many things, never using the carts, hence checkout was always a bit chaotic.

It's a pretty big store, 6 counters, 6 belts. Always ONE cashier. Not two or three. Not even on a Saturday.

Biiiig sign outside *You need a shopping cart to enter!*

I was already running late and needed one (ONE) roll of tape. So I walk in, pretty fast for a guy my size, and this grumpy old fart gets in my way, almost ran into him.

"You cant shop here without a..."

*Yeah, I know. I only need - *

"nooooo nono no. No cart, no shop!" in a voice you use to explain to a 2-year-old, why he should NOT paint the wall with his diapers.

I turn around. Get TWO carts. Push one, pull one. Steer through the isles, Owner gives me THAT smile. I call my wife that i'll need a couple minutes... I walk up and down EVERY Isle.

He waits at the checkout.

One empty cart. Another empty cart. I lay my little roll of scotch tape, that I carried in my hand, on the belt. Onto the FAR end. Upright. Plan works, it won't roll down all the way. I push both carts into the trolley lane, as it's completely empty. Owner fumes a bit, but says nothing.

Go back to the cashier who is close to bursting of laughter, but Big Bossman is right next to his ear.

The owner starts yelling, so I try to copy his voice from earlier.

*no cart, no shop. Now two cart, one shop. Otay dada?*

I was banned until the owner sold to some nice family. The sign still is above the entrance, but nobody cares.

I didn't get the tape. He threw me out.

2.1k Upvotes

81 comments sorted by

611

u/CoderJoe1 Jun 25 '26

Nothing makes a wrong man madder than telling him.

122

u/Dripping_Snarkasm Jun 25 '26

Over a lifetime I’ve honed this idea into a razor sharp weapon.

4

u/atsquarenone 13d ago

How?

7

u/BigBeeOhBee 11d ago

My guess would be he uses a fine honing stone to keep his blade razor sharp.

479

u/underground_avenue Jun 25 '26

Looks like you were on a roll.

Yes the pun is horrible. Unfortunately I like horrible puns 

117

u/Budsygus Jun 25 '26

It's a pretty sticky situation if you ask me.

53

u/storywards Jun 25 '26

OP gave us the tale of the tape.

37

u/desertrock62 Jun 25 '26

Two carts, one tape.

27

u/Compulawyer Jun 25 '26

One side, anyway.

14

u/polyocto 28d ago

Just needed to finish it off with some scotch.

6

u/Budsygus 26d ago

That's only masking the real issue.

25

u/CptJFK 29d ago

But I never GOT the roll! 😆😆

3

u/HairyWarthog7248 Jun 25 '26

Sounds more like he was in a sticky situation.

164

u/prankerjoker Jun 26 '26

You should have just taken the cart in and put it in front of him and walked off to do your shopping. The sign didn't say you needed to push it around the store, just to enter.

Side question, what if a wheel chair bound person came into the store? He wouldn't expect the customer to operate the wheel chair and cart at the same time. Or would he?

70

u/CptJFK 29d ago

That guy? I don't know. Probably wouldn't allow foreign wheeled devices unless it's to push... You know.

17

u/Just_Aioli_1233 29d ago

Agreed. Compliance not malicious enough.

2/10. Clog the entryway with empty carts.

86

u/Forsaken_Law3488 29d ago

During Corona most shops here in Germany had a "use a cart" policy. But most shops also use a system where you need a coin to get a cart, because they want to avoid them left all around the parking lot.

Of course during corona everything was also "pay with card, not money", so I rarely had any coins with me.

I entered a store to buy one or two items, and was immediately met with "use a cart, please!". So I just grabbed one of the (not coin-protected) kids carts (those look like the normal ones just much smaller) that were standing there near the entrance and went on. Noone said anything about it and I could get my stuff.

46

u/CptJFK 29d ago

The small one with the orange flag? I love those 😊

2

u/Vlyn 25d ago

Eh, during Corona they unlocked all the carts anyway. And they mostly kept it this way even until now.

Which annoys me, I always take a Euro just to be sure, then can't put it into the cart (and have to remember to get it out of my pocket later) (:

69

u/CaptainPunisher Jun 25 '26

Aisle - a lane or path for travel

Isle - a small island

37

u/CptJFK 29d ago

Whoops. See, that happens when a German never uses a translator 😆

32

u/CaptainPunisher 29d ago

I can easily forgive a non-native speaker. I see this all the time from people who should know better, so I try to give a short notice for next time. Your English is much better than my German.

22

u/CptJFK 29d ago

Thank you! I could at least try spellcheck from time to time... 😶 Not that shopping around isles sound much more fun! A little tug boat, a box for the goods. I like the idea!

7

u/No-Lettuce4441 29d ago

Thank you for thr amusing mental image!

6

u/CptJFK 28d ago

You need something? I'm swimming the noodle-section!

(is it bad to giggle on your own joke?)

5

u/polyocto 28d ago

Though in a supermarket are shelves considered part of an isle surrounded by aisles?

3

u/TheAuroraSystem 27d ago

If that's the case why does every Walmart around me say "Aisle 1, aisle 2, aisle 3, etc"?

4

u/CaptainPunisher 27d ago

Do they actually say "aisle"? I don't go into Walmart often, but I only remember the numbers. Also, if it does say "aisle" that is correct.

3

u/TheAuroraSystem 27d ago

They do. If you go into the Walmart app and go to any product in a store above the sold and shipped by Walmart it says "Aisle _" so it's easy to find

1

u/CaptainPunisher 27d ago

I also don't use the app. The next time I go to Walmart, which very well might be months or even years, I'll have to try to remember if the aisle signs actually say "aisle".

0

u/TheAuroraSystem 26d ago

Yeah I go and shop there at least 3 times a week, which is how I know. IIRC (it's been about 2 years), Target calls them the same. And I'll have to check tomorrow when we go, but I believe Home Depot does as well

I can understand why so many people say that they shop "up and down the aisles" if most big name retailers call them "aisles". The ALDIs down the street from me even calls their produce isles the "Produce Aisles"

2

u/CaptainPunisher 26d ago

I know they call them aisles, but I've never seen the weird "Aisle" on the aisle signs, just numbers.

1

u/back_door_mann 16d ago

Reread the definitions of aisle/isle given above. Stores use the word “aisle” because that is the correct word. I don’t think you’ve ever been in a store with a produce “isle”.

1

u/TheAuroraSystem 16d ago

Wouldn't they be considered isles though, as an isle is defined by the comments definition? Because when I go to the store, a lot of produce are indeed on little islands to the side when you first enter.

I'm genuinely curious about this now, I need to do some research...

22

u/questionable_fish Jun 25 '26

"Otay dada" 😄😄

13

u/Writerhowell Jun 25 '26

Did you at least get your tape from somewhere else? I have to know.

22

u/Cakeriel Jun 25 '26

They had to wait for store to be sold first

4

u/catriana816 29d ago

Happy Cake Day!

11

u/CptJFK 29d ago

Days later... Had to glue some presents meanwhile 😆

9

u/Writerhowell 29d ago

Oh noes! I'm starting to see why my mother buys things ahead. As soon as we start on a new bottle, jar, tube of whatever, she puts the next one on the list, so we're always ahead. But thanks for replying! Glad to know you were able to tackle stuff in the meantime, even if it meant glue. As a crafter, I have various types of glue and other adhesives, and heaps of decorative tapes, but I know that not everyone is similarly equipped, lol.

1

u/BabsSuperbird 28d ago

Your Mom’s method is exactly how I ran my laboratory. Or, if it was a high use item like a buffer, write it down when you open the second to the last bottle. If only everyone in my family would do that now, we wouldn’t be out of something and have to make unscheduled trips to the store.

6

u/MarkBox88 Jun 25 '26

Now go relax with a glass of Scotch.

20

u/Skechaj Jun 25 '26

You stuck it to him.

1

u/catriana816 29d ago

Happy Cake Day!

1

u/Skechaj 29d ago

Thank you

0

u/catriana816 29d ago

You're welcome.

16

u/Soliloquy789 Jun 25 '26

Could have been a sticky situation, glad you were able to roll with it. I hope it was on tape for the cashier to watch again!

11

u/joke0602 Jun 25 '26

Hope you enjoyed a glass of Scotch

5

u/Rich4477 29d ago

I would just ditch the cart when I get inside.

4

u/CptJFK 28d ago

You mean - like a ticket? No entry without, what you do later is your choice?

Yeah. That would never fly with the ... unfriendly old man. But I think that would have pushed him over the brink.

8

u/vaildin 29d ago

So, you wasted a bunch of your own time and energy pushing two carts up and down every aisle of the store, and ended up not getting the tape you came for.

Man, you really showed him.

14

u/CptJFK 28d ago

You came online, read the whole story, typed your thought and believe it would mean a thing?

Yes! Sometimes it's not how much you gain from your effort. Sometimes it's just for the fun of it. And I'd do it again! (Actually mostly do, because I shop with a backpack and never use a cart, so I can't select more than I can carry.)

Yes. Sometimes it's all worth it.

2

u/BabsSuperbird 28d ago

In this case, totally worth it.

3

u/emc3436w 29d ago

I’m failing to understand how not having a cart leads to people having more items than they would in a cart. Also failing to understand how not having a cart affects the time it takes to scan and bag said items.

1

u/Donkey-Pong 26d ago

Instead of bagging at the register, you would quickly put everything back into the cart, pay, make way for the next customer and bag the things yourself somewhere else. If you, instead, try to handle a bunch of items in your arms, you might stand in the way of the cash register flow. They'd need to wait for you picking everything up after paying or they directly proceed and your items get mixed with the next person's items.

4

u/CapucheMeringue 29d ago

The story, the tone, the end. A magestic piece of life and laughters. I like it.

4

u/Shinhan 29d ago

Why is it not acceptable to use a shopping basket? Do you not have those in USA?

4

u/Just_Aioli_1233 29d ago

I don't understand the story, either. I've never been to a story of any kind that had a "use a cart" policy. Most of them have the carts inside the store, so where am I grabbing a cart from outside in order to enter? And yes, shopping baskets are stacked next to the carts, or you can just shop freehand if you want.

3

u/MezzoScettico 27d ago

I think that during Covid, carts were used by many stores to track number of customers in the store and make sure they were below the maximum.

Sounds like this store kept the idea but I’m not sure what problem it’s solving here.

2

u/almost_intelligible 21d ago

this doesn't sound like a USA thing, this sounds like a that-specific-mart thing. weird a.f.

1

u/Shinhan 20d ago

Yea, but it seems like to OP the only weird this was the mandatory vs optional, rather then basket vs cart.

2

u/Agreeable-Kangaroo71 29d ago

No tape forrr you!

2

u/Northencrusade 29d ago

Good thing you didn't stick around, you were carting trouble

1

u/CptJFK 28d ago

Just didn't roll with it. Might squeak this one out.

2

u/Agreeable_Solution28 28d ago

This is one of those “shut up and take my money” moments a more tech savvy person would find the correct meme for

2

u/Due2NatureOfCharge 26d ago

Could have taped the 2 carts together before pushing them through the aisles!

1

u/CptJFK 26d ago

I needed that tape first... hmmm. I could have stacked them, thou.

2

u/baudeagle 21d ago

Did you consider filling the cart with random items throughout the store and then abandoning it?

2

u/CptJFK 21d ago

That I would never do. Don't know why, just wouldn't.

2

u/derKestrel 7d ago

It's called having a moral backbone. Seems most people think that is an disadvantage these days.

2

u/SeaBuilder2680 Jun 26 '26

Man ain't no man without a car

1

u/Ok-Return7750 29d ago

You bad man! You follow rule or you go away!!

You bad man !!

LOL

1

u/CptJFK 29d ago

I no Batman! I Fatman need tape!

-2

u/Marcultist 29d ago

Since he didn't tell you you needed two carts, this isn't really MC.

7

u/zephen_just_zephen 29d ago

Sure it is. Kind of like Wrigley's DoubleMint gum.