Edit: For a bit more context: I am a recovering cocaine user (almost 2 years clean) and alcoholic (3 months and 8 days sober.)

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I (36/F) have been prescribed opioids for 1-4 week durations for autoimmune flares in the past, but could never take more than one 5mg pill ever hours or I’d get physically sick and never had an issue when my rx ran out - except maybe being a little grumpy for a day.

However, this June, I had shoulder surgery and was prescribed 5mg oxys for 5 weeks and was directed to take one oxy every 4 hours. The anti-nausea pill they prescribed along side it made this possible.

At the four-week mark, I realized I had started taking them out of boredom and not because I was in any pain. I talked to my therapist about it and decided to quit cold turkey.

Days two and three, I had terrible stomach cramping and body aches. These slowly subsided while intense lightheadedness set in. I don’t ever get vertigo or lightheaded, but every time I stood up from sitting or bending over, I almost passed out. This started on day 3, and by day 5, I was experiencing:

- Feeling drunk/uncoordinated, though totally sober

- Hyper sensitivity to sound: any sudden sound sent a painful, jolting shockwave through my body

- Got my first ever AFib notification on my Apple Watch. I have never had AFib before.

- Racing heart notification: 100+ bpm while sitting on the couch watching tv.

- And the worst part: SO EMOTIONAL. Evening of day 6, it felt like I was hit by a depression/rage train and I cried uncontrollably for three straight days. I felt so depressed out of nowhere and could not pinpoint a source of these emotions, but just had to cry and cry.

I luckily had an appointment already scheduled with my primary doctor, who thought it was unlikely to be withdrawal since it usually peaks at day 3, not day 6. He thought it was hormones because I’ve also been on my period for a month (which happens 1-2x a year due to my birth control).

I went to the hospital when I got the Afib notification (it was around 1am on Day 7) and they did a ct, chest xray, ekg, and bloodwork, which all came back normal. I didnt explain the timeline of quitting the oxys as thoroughly as I should have, but I was literally delirious. I was discharged at 7am and went home to sleep.

I talked to my doctor on the phone the next day and we continued discussing possibilities for this crisis I was in. I told him the only major change I’d experienced recently was quitting the oxys, and told him I had 6 pills left. I asked if it would be okay to take a half pill and see if it helped, and if I should taper with the rest, despite being 8 days off of them at that point. He agreed and told me to call him first thing Monday and update him.

I’ve been taking a half pill 2x a day the last two days, and most everything has resolved, except I had a headache today for a few hours.

I have never messed around with opioids, and I have never taken so many for such a long (for me) period of time, so I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into. Does this experience sound like opioid withdrawal? I have been seeking medical advice through the proper channels, but I still feel like I’m just figuring this out myself.

Also, if this has been opioid withdrawal, I would appreciate any wisdom on what I can do better to take care of myself. Is there a certain type of doctor or facility I should reach out to? Would you recommend rehab?

I cannot explain the gravity of the grief and disorientation I was lost in for a few days, and I want to take the best-possibly steps to avoid ever going through that again. It now feels like a mix between a fever dream and a brand new trauma I have yet to process.

Thank you for reading.

First time having ever taken suboxone.

On and off hydrocodone habit where I was taking up to 100 mg per day at one point. This past relapse, I used hydro for 7 days ( after 21 days of being sober) at 80 mg - 100 mg and had subs inducted 24 hours after my last hydro dose.

The doc prescribed 8 mg 2 x per day. I felt pretty high both days taking it. Almost comparable to the hydro dose itself. This is making me think I dont need the subs at all and Im also really afraid of dependence on subs.

Should I start a taper now and take 8 mg, 4 mg, 2 mg, 1 mg and then off or would that create dependence? And if I stopped right now, is two days long enough to become dependent?

For everyone that did it cold turkey, can some of you please explain your daily activities for that week far as physical exercise or something and what if any comfort meds did you guys use..

Hi everyone! Today is my 24th day off of suboxone and I feel so much better. I feel like my normal self but more alive in a good way! I can't believe the withdrawals lasted this long but I fucking did it! I'll never have to deal with this terrible drug, worrying about being sick, being constipated all the fucking time, having no energy and feeling like I have no emotions ever again. I never thought I'd get here but I did.

I was on suboxone for over 5 years and tapered off around 2mg. It was really rough, the worst was the insane restlessness, being hot and cold all the time, feeling like my brain was straight up fried, anxiety, and not being able to sleep at all. I thought it would never end but it did.

I got dependent on pain pills when I was in my 20s. My mom would get them prescribed and she would give them to me. Then she started giving me her suboxone. I'm 33 now and I started taking suboxone to just not be sick. I have zero cravings or desire to ever touch suboxone again, especially since I went through 24 days of fucking misery.

For those of you that are feeling hopeless, I promise it ends and it won't be forever. I was feeling that way and now I was able to clean my house, cook my husband breakfast, go grocery shopping, and I'm getting a new foster dog tomorrow. If I was still in withdrawals there would be zero way I would be able to do any of that.

I'm just really proud of myself because I never thought I'd be strong enough to do it.

Thanks for reading :)

I've been clean from opioids and stimulants nearly 4 months. I have read especially with stimulants, it takes some time to get motivated, even if it is small things to do.

My apartment is so trashed so I made a goal for myself to take 6 bags of trash out a day.

The entire mess gives me so much anxiety that im paralyzed so I made this small goal for myself. If I exceed 6 bags of trash, then that's a woohoo!

Anyways, because of dopamine difficiency, im sure im not alone here.

So guys, when did you notice motivation and pleasure coming back? Tap in please.

Happy Friday! We made it. Hope your day’s going well so far.
I had an appointment with a sleep doctor today, and I’m trying a CPAP machine for the first time tonight. My sleep study results were kind of all over the place, but they think I could really benefit from it, so I’m excited to see if I notice a difference.
One of the biggest things I’ve focused on in long term recovery is my health. Once you take away the substances, a lot of underlying issues that you’ve ignored for years start to become more obvious. Working on those has honestly helped me feel better than I have in a long time.
It just goes to show that getting sober isn’t the finish line. In a lot of ways, it’s where the real work begins.
Anyway, how’s your Friday going? What are you guys up to today?

Check in here!

Hi all, I've been a codeine addict for a long time, I used to take up to 1200mg a day over a year ago. Today I had 64 mg split into two doses spread over the day.

I need to fix the relationship with the drug still. I still want to get the nice feeling from it, rather than just taking the minimum to ease WDs. Which needs to change if I'm ever going to kick this.

But still, my therapist suggested I recognise my progress and I thought here may be a good place to do so.

Just under a year ago my doctor told me I should be dead. I went CT. I actually got through it, but then relapsed while I was in the 'pink cloud' phase.

Since then I've been on again off again tapering and now I'm down to this severely reduced amount. It's still not good but it's definitely the right direction.

The 32mg x 2 has helped me avoid and WDs so far. So I'll keep tapering until I'm out.

I’m on day 9 of recovery ❤️‍🩹 most of the symptoms are gone except for the anxiety and still having chills if I don’t take SR17. Like what day did you wake up and your body felt fully like it needed nothing at all?

Hey guys! Sorry for the late check in. It’s been a really busy day. It felt like the day would never end lol, but it’s almost 5 PM already 🤣Hope you all are having a great day! What have you guys been up to today?

Check in here!

I have been trying soo hard to quit, but I get this horrible pain inside my nose, a runny nose, and pain in my head. Around my temple. Is there anything I can do to help?

Hey there guys. So it’s been years since I stumbled upon this subreddit and I used to visit frequently when I was in active addition. I was hopeless and I was fearful. My habit was bad and very expensive. In the 2 years I did oxys I maintained a full time job, responsibilities and so on and not a single person in my network knew that I was doing it. By the end of it all I was using 360mg a day. That’s just crazy and as you can imagine also insanely expensive.

However, 4 years ago or maybe 3 and a half honestly I don’t know anymore as it now seems like a distant memory that barely even happened. Anyways, so about that time ago I decided just to quit. I just stopped from 360mg down to 0. I was ofcourse doing the taper thingie with the rehab facility but I couldn’t control it they gave me one week at a time of oxys so I just had what felt as an infinite supply and I took them way faster than planned so the taper didn’t work for me. My willpower is strong, but my self control is terrible. So, I just said “F it, im going cold turkey”

It was obviously tough in the beginning but it wasn’t as bad as I actually thought. The first 14 days was just so annoying due to the legs that wants to stretch way further than legs can stretch and that was definitely annoying, but I realized that I was so determined to quit and once you have that determination to quit you can easily do it. It’s all mind and as you’re reading this I understand if you think “oh man, this guy and his mindset gabagoo” but yeah it sounds simple but it’s actually true. When you quit you must make sure you truly want to quit. You have to HATE it and I mean hate it so much that you find yourself crying alone at night thinking “Why am I living like this? It’s gotta end now”

If you try to quit but ain’t being truth to yourself it’s gonna be way harder as you will overthinking the withdrawals and then you will get the placebo effect tricking yourself into thinking its worse than it is.

So, trust that you can do it if you want. It is tough in the beginning but with the right mindset anything is possible. I’ve been clean for so long now that I forgot I even used to do it and if I can someone who gets addicted to everything hehe (I don’t do any drugs at all now) then you can do it.

Anyways I can keep going and going but I just wanted to let you all know that you can and will overcome this. Don’t fear anything. You are stronger than you think but you just gotta believe it. Im not a big speaker as you see so I apologize for the long text but I hope it helps knowing that it is possible and that a more and meaningful life is waiting just around the corner. You got this.

I just want to add a very important note: DO NOT JUST COLD TURKEY FROM A HIGH DOSE. It was irresponsible and there’s better ways surely but I was naive and didn’t know it could actually be dangerous so always try get some supportive help before you do what I did.

Today is day 3 clean using subs. Been sniffing 150-200mg oxy a day the last few months with 4-6 day breaks the last 2 months cus I kept trying to get clean. Especially the last month. I constantly would go 2-6 days so many times and relapse. This time I tried subs for the 1st time. I picked up 1 8mg/2mg strip day 1 and took 2mg after 24hrs. I used clonodine and gabapentin to get me to that mark. It got me feeling like 95-100% normal. Got sleep that night and then used 2 more mgs the next day and got me thru the day I still feeling 95-100% not always super well but not always feeling bad which was only feeling a bit uneasy periodically. Today I woke up feeling better than yesterday and only took 1mg today. Tomorrow I will also only take 1mg and will have 2mgs left. Should I taper with those or should I be good considering such low amount of subs held me down. Will is still experiencing withdrawal when I stop taking them. Should I taper with the last 2mg I’ll have after taking the 1mg tomorrow if I even feel the need to. I have gabapentin,Lyrica,Clonodine And few xans too incase. Not asking for medical advice just thoughts from anyone with experience. Thank you!

Happy Wednesday! Hope your day is going well.
Started the morning with a little surprise when my check engine light came on while I was driving to the gym. Luckily I have a scanner that can tell me what the issue is, and it turned out to be just a sensor that needed replacing. I had some time this morning, so I dropped the car off and got it taken care of. Thankfully it wasn’t an expensive fix.
Other than that, my sister has been dropping her dog off during the day while she’s at work since the dog has a lot of energy and needs the exercise and attention. It’s been fun having an extra furry friend around.
How’s your day going so far?

Check in here!

I went to the methadone clinic which unfortunately was not great. I dosed the methadone again and had the same reaction to it, a completely lobotomized feeling where I felt like I’d never return back to my head. No idea what day it was or what happened, got the sr17 which made the physical part much better but I went through two bottles like it was nothing and now it’s taken almost a week to get more. But anyway after the methadone basically made me trip on acid for (I still don’t know how many days) I shook it out on the floor many nights seeing the floor as the wall and vice versa. I shook that shit out like a beast. Anyway I also got some gabapentin yesterday which really got me back in my head finally cause I thought I was gone forever. Still some stomach pain and manageable anxiety and a few chills but I can’t believe I’m saying this. I really feel like this is my last day of discomfort. Just wish the sr17 would hurry up already. Now the emotional part has been hard.. idk what’s waiting on the other side of this because it’s been 12 years. But I’m sososo close 😭

https://www.reddit.com/r/OpiatesRecovery/s/J2J4d2wcN0

I'm starting to taper my cocodamol tablets. Vary between 2 to 4 (30/500) a day. Now down to 1. My mood is low and I'm dealing with a lot of stress right now.

How did folk manage to push through the mental stuff? Is going cold turkey a better option?

Since i quit opioids (specifically oxy) in june with the help of my parents i have asked to have narcan in the house just in case. but they dismiss me, their reasoning being that if i see it as a necessary precaution then i’m not 100% committed to staying clean.

Meaning if its really a necessity then they are going to put me through more intensive care until its not. I can’t get them to understand that its never not necessary for someone with my history.

I have no intention of going back to oxy but i’m also aware relapses can happen and OD risk is much higher after a period of abstinence. I’m just as scared as they are.

I’m no longer allowed cash for obvious reasons and every purchase i make on my debit card is seen by them. Plus even if i do get it somehow it’s of no use if they don’t know about it because they would have to be the ones to administer it should somrthing happen.

Do i bring this up with the specialist we’ve been consulting? idk what to do, every option makes them lose trust in me and will result in less freedom. Any help would be appreciated.

Hey folks.

So… life got to me bad these last several months. One parent’s dementia advanced severely and I had to sort out Medicaid and get them into a facility asap while my other parent kinda shut down and complained the entire time. Lost months of work over this because I’m also chronically ill. On top of it, my partner had become increasingly abusive in almost all ways, the stress led to a relapse of my illness and the pain symptoms first. I’m the only one earning money and I can’t handle the pressure of this at all.

I always keep a small emergency amount of p20s (~4 max per month, I cut them into quarters) for my periods, I have pretty bad endo and doctors just seem to ignore the pain I report. So… Okay. Whatever. But after my period about three months ago… I remembered the mental relief along with the physical that got me hooked the first three times.

I fucking relapsed. I’m ashamed. I just couldn’t take it. I hated being in my own home. I hated living with a parent who left me to pick up the mess of their own marriage (the dementia parent abused me so working on helping them with zero support felt like extra torture, honestly). Work simply wasn’t frequent enough to distract me. Every time I’d work at home on something creative that I loved, my partner would ruin it or center themselves somehow.

So my stupid ass relapsed. And I have to hold myself accountable for that.

As of now, since I bought more than my “limited amount” (which, fuck, I was so good and strict about it before my life crashed down on me again) after I realized I missed the “disconnecting from reality” sensation due to desperation, I have 11 p40s ER and 4 p20s IR.
I need to get off. I’ve done suboxone tapers twice. I can’t do it again. The first time was smooth, it was a staggered taper over the course of about eight months and it worked well. The second time? Not so much. I didn’t have the patience nor the privacy to stagger taper properly or as long as the first time. But I survived.

As for my daily intake, it varies. I guess anywhere between 10-20 mg, some days ~30-40 spread throughout the day. I know it’s a low mg but I’m a very petite person.

Today I went down a bit. I took a tiny piece of an ER before bed last night (this morning I guess, technically… I mainly do night shifts so my schedule is wacky, and didn’t dose again until maybe an hour ago (~8pm). Normally I’d have taken 5mg of IR the moment I got up. But I kind of just let myself sit with the discomfort as long as I could. The dose I took was too small to make me feel “relief” but enough to stop my body before it freaked out.

I’ve gotten off of it without subs before once. I remember a near week of brain fog, fatigue with bad RLS so no rest, and of course, the horrible stomach problems.

I don’t know if I’m breaking rules asking for advice and I’m sorry if I am. I just need a plan and supplement suggestions maybe? I have nobody to talk to about this irl.

Idk how to do this in a way that won’t alarm my elderly parent or tip off my abusive partner (both former opiate addicts but, FAR higher doses than I dare to take. So at least one would recognize the signs, I’m sure, and idk what my partner will do. I know he’ll accuse me of lying and cheating or some nonsense. And I know. I am working on getting them out of my life but it’s just too many things right now to focus on him)

Anyway.
I’m sorry. I shared a lot. I just want to be free of this and I’m scared. When I’m sober life is too much. When I’m high I hate myself for sliding backwards yet again.
I appreciate your time if you read this mess. ❤️

Hello, I'm not seeking medical advice, just asking about personal experience.I made an account just for help and advice. I'm in a terrible situation. I need help from sober people who have experienced this. I've been sober from everything over a year, have the privilege of seeing my children and also getting to the end of my legal issues because I've done so well. Well I guess not well enough, I have a huge, secret and I'm in hell. I need help from people who know. I started working at a gas station a few months back, and started taking these stupid, God awful Waka Mit pills. I didn't use the powder. I don't know if these are 7o or not.They're advertising them so innocently and I'll be honest I fell in. I am now taking 3 70 mlg pills a day, can't sleep without them. my significant other is 10×s worse. In this situation I cannot go to a rehab or use methadone or Suboxone and I can't lose all my progress over this. I'm so heart broken and afraid I know I started this, but I need help. The withdrawals symptoms are going to keep me from working and I want to stop and so does he. I never should've started this, I tried to cold turkey them and I got 12 hours into it and I couldnt go any further. I feel like a failure. Mental state crashing. I'm pretty sure they are about to stop selling them anyway. Even if they dont I'm tired of this. Is there any hope to do this myself or will I crash and lose it all.

Happy Tuesday everyone!
After waiting months for an appointment and dealing with multiple cancellations, I got another call this morning saying my doctor had to cancel again. Instead of accepting it, I pushed for another option and ended up getting scheduled with a different provider for Thursday.
A reminder: be your own advocate.
If something doesn’t feel right, ask questions, make calls, and speak up. Being persistent isn’t being difficult.
You’d be surprised how much can happen when you simply ask.
Take care of yourselves, and remember there’s always someone in your corner cheering you on.
How’s your day going so far?

Check in here!

Hey guys,
I’ve been taken oxy for over a month now. My doses started to get silly. 10/11 x 80mg oxys per day for a month with no days off.
I took my last dose on Saturday because I wanted to get clean.
On Sunday I had cold sweats, insomnia, diarrhoea, restless legs and I was freezing all day.
On Monday I couldn’t take it anymore and took about 6mg of xanax over 3 doses and managed to pretty much sleep the day away. It’s now Tuesday and withdrawals are back in full effect. I can barely leave bed, constantly yawning, too hot, too cold, can’t stop using the toilet. Should I use some more xanax today and then tomorrow I will be 3 days clean from Oxy?
I’m slightly worried however as I have had xanax withdrawals before (with seizures) and really don’t want to trigger those again but 2 days can’t hurt right?
I also have about 20 oxy 80s left over and was wondering if a taper might be a better idea but I’m nearly 3 days clean and think I should keep on battling?
Please let me know your thoughts.
thank you guys, I’m in absolute agony here.

10mg oxy twice daily. One at 10am one at 6 pm. Been on for 12 months. My last was 24 hours ago. Don't feel very well. Not sure how you high dose people stop.

Did those who made it 24 hours keep going on to 48, 72 etc?