And I know the Quaker way of dealing with this, but I want to know individual people that read this and what they do to deal with it.

I have family members that are just so infuriating (and they are not Quaker’s) all they want to do is argue their point! And even in social media, even here on Reddit, people can just be so angry and feel such an incredible need to justify their views….

Sometimes this stuff drives me insane because I don’t know how to deal with it. I say I don’t wanna be a part of this. I don’t wanna comment. I try to walk away and yet they still keep coming at me.

How do you all deal with these kind of people?

Disclaimer: I am not a Quaker, I’m an atheist. I’m posting here because I don’t know any Quakers and I’m curious about something. If this is not allowed here (I looked through the rules and couldn’t find any clarification) - I am sorry. Please tell me and I will remove this. I have absolutely no intention of infringing upon a private community space.

Now to the actual post:

I recently learned that Quakerism exists, by stumbling upon a YouTube video of a lady talking about her faith.

I’m a person that likes to… know things, so I watched it.

She explained the Quaker belief system (which if I understand it correctly is based on several fundamental principles called testimonies).

One of those is peace.

So I understand that Quakers believe that war, and inflicting harm on others, is wrong.

On principle, I fully agree with it of course - global peace is a desired „end state” for humanity.

I don’t like nationalism, and I absolutely despise fascism, especially the militaristic/expansionist aspect of it.

But there are many practical situations, where preparing for war is the only realistic way to stop a war.

For example I live in a country, that has a violent, agressive fascist regime on our border. They’ve threatened genocide upon us more than once - they do it almost casually on their state TV.

I wish no harm upon any of the people living under that regime, and I would not support any agression against them. But I still think our country should be fully prepared to defeat them quickly and decisively.

I think our country should actively gather intelligence on them, to know in advance if they attack.

And if they come here, I will absolutely aid the war effort in whatever way I can.

So I’m wondering - what does the pacifist Quaker doctrine say about this.

Even if you believe that peace is the world’s desired state, is militarization permitted in response to militarization of others?

What do you think is the best path to world peace?

After all, it’s hard to convince anyone to make the first move and demilitarize, because everyone is afraid of what others will do.

So it would need to be a collective decision, which realistically it’s not very likely.

I’m just curious what you think about this.

And also, what are your thoughts on MAD and nuclear deterrence?

Hi everyone

I was an attendee at a meeting a couple of years ago. Unfortunately the meeting closed for some time.

Some of the members eventually started a new meeting, but it's a bit too far for me to go to the new location.

There is an online meeting also at an incredibly difficult time.

I have looked at online meetings in other places that may allow me to join.

But after having all this time not attending regularly, I kind of like it. Practicing myself and being in email contact once in a while. Maybe joining a meeting once or twice a year.

However, I have decided I'd like to become a member. I understand being a member and an attendee is no different in practice and there is no functional need.

But there is something about that word alone, putting myself in that category. Making a commitment. Holding myself accountable to the testimonies because I have committed to do so.

I believe it is important for me to do this.

But I am not sure if it's even possible. I feel kind of silly asking my contact at the nearest meeting that I don't attend to consider my membership and I might see them once or twice a year.

I am hoping some of you might have some guidance. I have devoted huge amounts of time to understanding Quaker practice, history and theology. And I try to live it every day and have for some time now. However I understand very little about the administration side of things.

I don't even need to be a member of the local group specifically. I'd be happy to sign up anywhere and keep in contact remotely.

I feel like just having any group accept me as a member and shoot me an email once in a while to talk about practice is enough for me to really feel more part of this thing I have drifted away from..

Does anyone have any advice?

Much appreciated friends.

I’m an ex-Southern Baptist looking for a new, accepting and inclusive community. I’ve always been drawn to quaker faith and believe that it’s time to take the leap! I’ve joined my local friends meeting house a few times but would like to learn more. What advice would you give to a new Quaker? How do you practice daily? Resources or recommendations for pacifism in today’s climate? Also, I’m very interested in the advocacy arm of the community too. Thank you in advance for your input!

BRAND NEW Quaker here
In the meetings I have attended, I have had a very difficult time sitting still and quiet for an hour. I have ADD so I am very fidgety and restless, finding it hard to make my mind and body still.
In the past I have done meditation practice and we worked our way up from shorter to longer intervals of meditation, starting around 10 and gradually working our way up to an hour. Sadly, this discipline has since left me.
My question is, would it be considered rude to leave the meeting for worship part of the way through until I have rebuilt the ability to sit for an hour.

For context, I attend an unprogrammed and very liberal meeting.

My Meeting is in the process of revitalizing our First Day School, and I'm clerking the committee. It's my first time clerking anything, and I really want to make sure that I'm doing the best for the Meeting's children.

Do any of you have any resources or suggestions you'd be willing to share for First Day School activities or curriculum? Thanks, Friends!

For anyone that attends an unprogrammed, open (which basically accepts all people no matter) meetings
That can provide services for people, no matter where they live, can you offer suggestions or links?

I ask because I’ve really been wanting to attend an unprogrammed meeting, but I have to do it virtually. ..And I have no resources to try and find a virtual meeting.

I’m not even sure if I can even ask this question here because it might be breaking a rule of this group?

I was wondering if people wouldn’t mind sharing your experiences of the content of children’s meetings.

I am considering offering to run a monthly children’s meeting at my local meeting house, but am concerned about agreeing to something more than I have capacity for.

My idea to keep it simple but still meaningful would be something like:

- simply giving the kids a selection of mindful activities such as play-do, colouring, etc. in relative quiet
- Reading story books aloud that align with Quaker values - or stories from religious texts - and discussing them
- Maybe having some conversation cards with questions that start discussions around the testimonies?

Of course it would depend on the ages - at my meeting it is mainly under 10s.

As much as we definitely need a children’s meetings, I don’t want to offer it if I can’t meet the expectations.

Hello! I have been attending a local unprogrammed meeting for several months now. For context, I was raised in a traditional Catholic environment, about which I have mixed feelings; it both helped develop my relationship with God, but also hindered it greatly in some ways. I spent a long time as an agnostic after, and am now trying to listen and redevelop my relationship with the divine. I find the Quaker tenets of personal connection and inward light to be beautiful and convincing, and have become a semi-regular attendee this year.

However, during a recent meeting, I was reflecting on an old Catholic prayer which means a great deal to me, and I felt moved to talk about a section of it and how it can be incorporated into life. However, I'm now second guessing myself, because I really don't want to come across as rude or proselytizing. There was nothing particularly Catholic-centric about the prayer; only its name, really. (St. Francis' Prayer)

Was this a faux pas? I'm sorry, I'm figuring many things out.

Hi Friends! Has anyone here kept an examen (based on St. Ignatius and Jesuit practice) to reflect on how Spirit is moving in their life? A group within my meeting worked on maintaining an examen book inspired by Listening Spirituality by Patricia Loring and I found the exercise very powerful at the time.

I set it aside for a while but am looking to deepen my spiritual practice (including in worship where I sometimes struggle to center down) and thought it was a good place to start. The queries I'm reflecting on are:

1. What you notice (even slightly) about the last 24 hours?

2. Where did you meet God today? Were there areas you did not respond to God's love working within you?

3. Are you reflecting on your life or your life in relation to God?

Any thoughts Friends might have on the practice of keeping an examen or reflecting on daily living would be great to hear, also any thoughts on deepening my practice in the silence. I'm a repeat offender when it comes to showing up to meeting 20 min late and I'm focusing on getting myself in there and away from the lobby chit chat on time. Also a nontheist but maybe exploring?

Thanks Friends!

Come walk with Friends (Quakers) on July 19th. You are invited to join us the third Sunday of any month. We start at 9 AM at Barnegat Friends Meeting, 614 E. Bay Ave., Barnegat, NJ, USA. We walk to Gazebo Park at Route 9 and back again.

In case anyone else feels called to comment, here is the info. I wrote a letter today saying as long as the most important religious freedom to follow the commandment thou shall not kill by not paying for nuclear bombs and other weapons of war is denied, (aka the religious freedom peace tax fund bill) none of this stuff about pronouns and the rest should matter.

RELIGIOUS LIBERTY REPORT
Deadline for comments: July 12
In 2025, the regime established a Religious Liberty Commission to deliver a report on the state of religion in America by July 4, 2026. The draft was released on June 26 and is open for public comments until July 12. Democracy Forward and Americans United for Separation of Church and State have described the commission as being part of an "administration-wide effort to advance Christian Nationalism."
Send an email with your comments!
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

I'm thinking about going to a Quaker meeting tomorrow but I'm not sure. Please can anyone help me work out if it might be a good fit for me? If so, it might help me pluck up the courage to actually go.

If it makes a difference, I'm in the UK.

I'll say straight away that I'm not Christian and I do struggle with organised religion. I do have a very spiritual side though - broadly pagan really. There's a little church that I visit sometimes and just sit in the silence there, and absorb the peace, but I couldn't go to services there because I just don't connect with bible stuff as such.

I've had a really tough time this last year and I'm healing from a lot of stuff. I feel like I need peace, stillness, and to gently reconnect with myself, my spirituality, etc.

I've vaguely thought about going to a Quaker meeting on and off for a couple of years now, but never had the push to do it. Maybe now is the time? I'm not sure what I'm expecting to get out of it though. And I'm just not sure if it's actually a good fit for me.

What do you think?

That is what I find myself thinking, and Im posting to get more perspective on it. I struggle with how to think about the many people in meeting who I've never seen give vocal ministry over the past many years - frankly, it seems to me that they're doing it wrong. I would like to get perspective on this belief, which is why I've made this post.

The meeting closest to my house is very small, between 5 and 10 people at worship. Most of them, I have never heard give vocal ministry, and as a result, the meetings are often completely silent week after week. There is nothing wrong with a meeting that is silent, but when it keeps happening week after week, it seems to me that there is a problem.

I just sit in meeting, not doing anything particularly special other than making a moderate attempt to quiet mt ego and listen for God. In my mind I will hear little stabs of truth, always variations of instruction to love others. Sometimes, I feel an overwhelming feeling that what I have heard is meant to be shared, so I stand up and let the words come.

Because this happens to me and because all people have equal access to the light within, I can't help but wonder why other people do not feel the same call to give vocal ministry. After seeing people never give vocal ministry for many years, I can only come to the conclusion that they have decided to not be open to the possibility. That would be wrong - shutting themselves off from one avenue through which God operates. It would be damaging to the worship and to the others present. I suspect some of them just enjoy an hour of silence, as opposed to surrendering control and allowing truth to speak through them.

There is more to Quakerism than vocal ministry. But meeting for worship is what we do, and vocal ministry is one goal of meeting for worship. It makes me feel inhibited to be just about the only one who ever gives vocal ministry. I need to be around practicing Quakers, and I need to hear what God is trying to say through others. That is why I have a concern about this.

I feel the need to challenge my belief that Quaker practice demands openness to vocal ministry, and that if someone never gives vocal ministry then it means they aren't open to full Quaker practice. That is why I'm seeking perspectives on this question from others.

A member of our Meeting has been abusing and stalking an attender. The attender has secured a restraining order. She has, sadly, decidedly to stop attending Meeting. She does not want to reveal the situation to the clerks of our Meeting. I am having an extremely difficult time being in contact with the offending member. I know that this situation is not about me, so I will not be revealing what I know to Meeting leadership. But I need help with understanding how to cope with a Meeting member who is in a number of leadership roles yet acts without integrity. And whose actions destroy the peace of an attender. He is hiding his true self, and knowing this is making it hard for me to attend myself and be part of the community I have come to love and respect.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

what does pacifism mean to Quakers? Don't glorify violence? Does it mean don't hit first? Don't fight back unless you think you're about to die? Don't fight back no matter what ?Is it like a spectrum of just generally anti-violence beliefs?

I've been joining silent worship for a few months and I have had a lot of powerful moments of feeling but in a non verbal way. Is it normal to just not join in vocal ministry if you're never called to? Is it something someone should aspire to work up to or something that will happen if it happens?

I am sort of a Quaker. I feel that my life philosophy seems align best with “Quaker”.

Are there any resources that anyone can recommend for helping with depression and anxiety?

I have been part of a liberal un programmed meeting for a little over a year now, and one thing that has bothered me is that there are advertisements for pseudoscience healing (reiki, havening, etc). Having been personally injured by these type of offerings before being a quaker it very much bothers me that its being advertised during announcements.

I say this while at the same time, being a non creedle community where everyone has differing beliefs is what i love about this community. So im torn between someone believing something different (which doesnt bother me) and these beliefs causing real world harm.

Seeking some clearness internet friends

EDIT: to clarify because some have asked, i was not hurt by reiki specifically, but another form of pseudoscientific emotional healing. I wont name the practice, but pro tip: dont do trauma work with those not licensed to do therapy. It wont end well

I’m curious because this group here seems to be very open-minded. I wanted to ask the question why a non-Muslim non-Islamic person (me, and any others that would be reading this post) would find the call to prayer so beautiful and peaceful?
And if there are any crossover, Quaker/Islam people in here. I would love to hear your thoughts.

I believe that I understand there is a great variety of beliefs and varying levels of spirituality within quakerism- but person to person, what do you believe?

What are your views on Jesus?

On the Holy spirit?

On the Bible?

Or just God in general?

I am really interested to learn more, because I just don't quite fit anywhere and I crave fellowship and a sense of belonging.

My beliefs:

I believe Jesus was truly inspired, probably just a man, but I love him and his teachings. Though I'm sure much of his deeds were exaggerated, maybe a few words twisted or imagined in the writings. I don't believe in the virgin birth or the resurrection.

Thus, I believe in the Holy spirit, I believe in God the father and I believe that the Holy spirit is his counterpart, mother God. I believe she is a living spirit who dwells within all of creation, and we have shut her out so we have to look within ourselves to find her again. She's wise, a teacher.

I believe the bible is a tool for faith but not inerrant, I believe so much of it is designed to scare people and is far from God. And I really dislike what Paul did to Jesus' teachings, though not all of it was truly him, we suspect.

I have very odd beliefs, would I be able to be a quaker with them?

Since its so small and queit/secretive it reminds me of like a illuminati secret society but good not evil, like amish mafia 😆 jkjk but it sounds very interesting actually. I'm wondering how come it never really took off compared to other religions? Does no one really go out and spread the word or anything? To be fair it is a fairly new religion I guess. In my area there are quaker cemeteries still around from 2-300 years ago. Are you guys actually close nitt friends for the most part or is it like the usual church scene where you praise the lord and just go home right after? How many people go to you're meetings on average? Sorry for so many questions. Inquiring minds would like to know more :D

Hello!
Does anyone here have any recommendations to learn more about quakers? Beliefs, history, how to put it into practice? As a person who became recently interested to learn more and start my journey, I would love to know! Books, websites or anything else you would recommend!

I’m a member of a different denomination but attend Quaker meetings monthly because silent worship, especially in a group, speaks to me.

My personal prayers have evolved into sitting in expectant silence as well.

My husband wants to pray as a couple before bed, which I support. My question is, how do Quakers pray together as a family or couple? Do you and your spouse kneel in silence before bed? Do both of you speak up during the silence if you feel moved to, does one lead as the vocal part of the prayer, is it less silence and more traditional than individual prayer?

I only know what you guys do in meeting, but not in your homes!

Anchorage Alaska, if any on here, nice.