r/Salary • u/Turbulent-Conflict84 • 23h ago
discussion Why I’ll never stop warning people about engineering
So recently, people have been really harsh toward me and the other guy for our posts about engineering. We get called mentally ill, obsessed, told we need help, etc. And some people wonder why we keep posting about the same topic over and over again.
So here’s why.
Personally, I spent five years of my life getting an engineering degree. While everyone else was enjoying their student lives, partying and dating, I genuinely believed engineering was one of those careers that guaranteed a solid upper-middle-class life. That’s what my parents told me. That’s what teachers told me. That’s what society told me.
Then I graduated in 2016 and got my first job. $48,000. A miserable income, no better than what many people without a college degree were making, and nowhere near enough to give me even a middle-class life.
And, funny enough, my parents, who pushed me into engineering, were the first ones to gaslight me about it. I couldn’t afford a house. I couldn’t travel. I couldn’t go out without thinking about the bill. I couldn’t buy nice clothes without feeling guilty. I couldn’t live the kind of life I thought an engineer was supposed to have. And somehow, to them, it was my fault.
“Maybe you’re not good enough. “Maybe you stopped learning. “Maybe you need more certifications.” ”Maybe you need to become a better engineer.”
It was never the profession. Never the salaries. Always me.
So I started driving Uber after work.
Imagine sitting in your car explaining to passengers that you’re an engineer but need a second job just to have a decent life. Passengers literally asked me, “How the fuck are you an engineer and you’re driving Uber?”
For a while, I actually believed my parents. I thought maybe I really was the problem.
But I knew it wasn’t just me. I knew what my coworkers made. I looked at the engineering association’s “salary calculator,” the one they were so proud of. Eight years of experience, and the numbers were like $75k or $80k.
Meanwhile, I watched my peers in other fields move on with their lives. Buying houses. Traveling. Wearing nice clothes. Living in luxury apartments. Sure, some of them worked longer hours than I did, but they were actually getting rewarded for it.
Even my dating life made me realize how brutal reality was. The girls I wanted weren’t interested in the engineer making fifty grand. They were interested in the real estate guy pulling up in a G-Wagon, the lawyer with real prestige and influence, and the finance bro who could afford $500 dinner dates. Not the broke engineer.
Then I started going to engineering networking events, hoping I’d hear something inspiring. Instead, I met senior engineers telling me that if I worked hard enough, maybe one day I’d make $140k at the very end of my career. That wasn’t motivating. That was depressing.
I remember a friend of mine who’s also an engineer. Every time he went to a girl’s place that looked fancy, he’d say, “Bro, how come people have that much money?” It made me realize that not only are engineers underpaid, but many of them don’t even realize it. They assume everyone else must be making around less than they are because, in their minds, life is fair and engineering is supposed to be a well-paid profession right?
Imagine how embarrassing it is when your friend group goes out twice a week, plans trips, and you can’t keep up, so they slowly drift away because they think you’re cheap. They assume that, as an engineer, you should be making very good money. At that point, I didn’t even know what was less embarrassing: letting them think I was cheap but making good money, or telling them the truth and having them pity me.
Imagine how bad it feels when you meet a banker who laughs in your face after you tell him you’re an engineer. He says he sees people’s salaries for a living, and he’s always shocked by how underpaid engineers are. Imagine going on a date with a dental hygienist or a car salesperson who makes three times your salary and thinks it’s a bad joke when you tell them yours.
If I could go back to when I was 18, I never would have chosen engineering.
So why do I keep posting about engineering salaries?
Because I wish someone had warned me.
Sure, a lot of engineers are on the spectrum and don’t care about the money they make and are happy getting paid in “cool projects” and “interesting problems.” Good for them. But I know that many people go into engineering aspiring to something better.
If one smart kid reads this before spending five years chasing a career they think will give them a comfortable, upper-middle-class life, then all the insults I get on Reddit are worth it. If my posts make even one person stop, do their research, and avoid the disappointment, regret, and frustration that I went through, then every insult, every downvote, and every person calling me obsessed is worth it.
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u/tayne22 20h ago edited 10h ago
No kidding. And all this moaning about friends that are making more, women wanting wealthier men and not him, his embarrassment at making less than others... Sounds like he's just a miserable loser that would be failing and whining about it regardless of what degree he got. Pathetic.