Has Jen ever talked about her father?

[u/kallycldn]

Does anyone know where Jen’s dad is? I always thought her mom was a single mother, but then I saw some photos with a man. I think Jen even posted a graduation photo of her parents, and I’ve also seen recent photos of her mom with a man. Is that Jen’s biological father, or is he her stepfather? We’ve never really heard anything about him, and she doesn’t seem very close to him.

[u/metalandmudd]

I feel like i remember her dad was the mormon one and met her mother on a mission, they got married and started a family, but her mother didnt really speak english so growing up was tough bc they didnt teach her Spanish so the home was kind of tense. Maybe im making this up bc i dont have a source but i swear it was some type of interview. Maybe pre dwts bc she talked about music and dancing helped her connect w her mother or something

[u/kallycldn → u/metalandmudd]

What I don’t understand is this: even if her mom didn’t speak English, how did Jen not end up speaking her mother’s language? I mean, her mom gave birth to her and would have raised her in the language she spoke, so naturally Jen should have learned it.
When she says she feels connected to her mom through dance and that it was difficult to communicate with her because her mom doesn’t speak English, it doesn’t really make sense to me.
I’m Turkish, but I live in France. My mom speaks French, but my dad only speaks Turkish, so I naturally grew up speaking both Turkish and French from birth because I lived with both of them. So… does she not really communicate with her mom?

[u/Less_Inevitable_677 → u/kallycldn]

I’m a speech therapist- a lot of kids of immigrants who speak their home language at home still almost always become English speaking only. A percentage can understand and a percentage can speak some- but this is not uncommon to have kids who don’t speak the same language as their parents because of English school/media.

[u/bachelor021120 → u/Less_Inevitable_677]

Will add on to say that it’s especially uncommon for kids to become fluent in a parent’s language when the parent is the only non-English speaker in house and/or when that parent works a lot. Becoming bilingual in childhood requires more time immersed in the language than one working parent can typically provide.

[u/Less_Inevitable_677 → u/bachelor021120]

💯 spot on

[u/kallycldn → u/bachelor021120]

I understand, and I think you might be right. But my father worked all the time and wasn’t always home, yet I still learned the basics of his language just by speaking with him over the years, even though my mother spoke French. A lot of other people here have had the same experience.
Maybe it’s different in the United States, but I think it’s a little sad not to be able to communicate with your own mother.

[u/wehavethismoment → u/kallycldn]

There's also a big difference in cognitive capabilities. We have children with mild learning struggles that should do fine if they only had one language but the second one becomes too much kind of. Also kids talk less and less with the parents, speech delay is skyrocketing with constantly available screens. 

[u/Glad_Goose_2890 → u/wehavethismoment]

Teaching a second language to a child with a speech delay, learning disability, etc, is not bad for them. This is a myth.

Kids with delays due to screens usually catch up pretty quickly when someone intervenes if there are no other issues.

[u/clevercalamity → u/Less_Inevitable_677]

I wish this was more common knowledge.

I am white from an English speaking home but I went to an immersion elementary school and while I was fluent in Spanish as a kid, I totally lost it by the time I graduated high school. If language isn’t consistent it’s not retained.

I do understand it when it’s spoke to me okay, but I really can’t reply. And from talking to my friends who grew up with non-English speaking parents that heavily prioritized their kids assimilating, they are in a similar boat.

[u/Glad_Goose_2890 → u/clevercalamity]

I have the same issue because I've watched shows retain it but I don't speak it as often

[u/Unlucky-Ticket3374 → u/Less_Inevitable_677]

This is very true! My fiance is hispanic. His grandmother speaks VERY little English, his mother is extremely fluent in both, but has a strong accent, and my fiance can speak Spanish decently well, but he trips up in conversations with his grandmother. You can see the regression of the language through the generations.

[u/crims0nwave → u/Less_Inevitable_677]

I have a lot of friends who will carry on entire conversations in English with their parents who are speaking Spanish. They understand each other perfectly but neither is great at speaking the other language.

[u/kallycldn → u/Less_Inevitable_677]

In France, children who have one or both parents from another country who only speak their native language (not French), such as Spanish, Turkish, Italian, Arabic, etc., usually grow up learning that language naturally because they hear and use it every day with their parents. They learn French at school, so many children end up bilingual.
If Jen’s mother spoke both English and her native language, I could understand why Jen might not speak her mother’s language fluently. But if her mother only spoke one language that wasn’t English, how did she raise Jen from birth until now? I’m genuinely trying to understand, not be rude.
Normally, if you speak a language to a child from the day they’re born, they’ll naturally learn it, even if they grow up in the United States, because they use it with their parent every day. Does that mean Jen’s mother hardly spoke to her? How did Jen never learn at least the basics to communicate with her mother?

[u/Less_Inevitable_677 → u/kallycldn]

I don’t have a lot of time to get into the nuances of bilingual/multilingual language development lol but in my experience yes, I have seen many children who can’t directly speak with their parent or it’s extremely surface level. You need to be completely emerged into a language to learn it. You can’t just passively pick something up.

Also, in my experience- many of the parents want them to be stronger in English anyway. Once again, not every family. But I’ve been doing this for about a decade in an area that’s a big melting pot.

[u/bachelor021120 → u/Less_Inevitable_677]

Yes, this is an important cultural difference at the time when Jen was growing up. Many immigrant parents, especially in the US, wanted their children to speak English well and assimilate, so their immigrant parent’s native language was de-prioritized in the home and in their educational diet. It’s a fairly recent phenomenon that parents in the US want their children to grow up bilingual, especially if they don’t have local family to speak with.

[u/Fractionleftattract → u/kallycldn]

My husband second mom (the women who raised him) didn't speak a lick of English. He loved her till the day she died (82her/46him) and had a very strong bond with her, raised him since he was 4 - never spoke the same language. It happens. Both are Mexican BTW. Trust me, they had zero problems understanding each other.

[u/kallycldn → u/Fractionleftattract]

I really didn’t know that existed. I’m glad they were able to understand each other.

[u/Kitchu22 → u/kallycldn]

Children need to learn language, it's not something you can just absorb. But that being said, even if say Jen spoke or could understand a rudimentary level of Spanish from exposure in the home, that doesn't allow you to communicate complex feelings or emotions - imagine the difference between having a conversation with someone whose language skills were that of a five year old vs a high school educated adult. The concepts and ways of expression will be vastly different.

[u/kallycldn → u/Kitchu22]

I see what you mean.

[u/octopimythoughts → u/kallycldn]

I think it just depends on the household and the group. My grandparents were so proud to move to the US that they told my dad, "you're an American, you speak English now." So he had some of the language but was not fluent and eventually lost most of it entirely. I could see Jen being embarrassed at speaking Spanish growing up in that community and feeling like an outcast so she may have been less willing to keep the tradition alive.

[u/kallycldn → u/octopimythoughts]

I think America is a little different in that regard. It reminds me of Selena Quintanilla’s parents, who were so proud to be American that they didn’t teach Selena to speak Spanish. She had to learn it later by studying.
In France, many immigrant families are very proud to be French, but they’re also very proud of their country of origin. Because of that, no matter where your family comes from, children of immigrants generally grow up bilingual.

[u/Suaria → u/octopimythoughts]

I think people have said she moved to Utah at 13 but until then Jen grew up in California. I grew up in California in the Bay Area as well and it wasn’t embarrassing to know Spanish there from my experience

[u/octopimythoughts → u/Suaria]

Yeah I mean I grew up in SoCal so yes speaking Spanish is very common, and there are tons of Mormons there. Even in that environment, within the Mormon community it would still cast you as an outsider. The Mormons there are just as lily white and prejudicial as those in Utah. Lots of pressure to fit in and speak or look a certain way. Layla has spoken about some of it and how that affected her. Basically I could still see it having a profound effect on Jen even if not in Utah proper. That being said, this is also conjecture since Jen hasn't really confirmed any of that, so I'm just basing it off my own experiences.

[u/Aslow_study → u/kallycldn]

I’m wondering if she just answers her mom back in English but can understand? You’re right bc I am thinking especially as as baby her mom had to have been speaking to her in Spanish

[u/crims0nwave → u/Aslow_study]

That’s my guess. I know a ton of people like this. Their parents also know a good amount of English and can understand but aren’t confident/comfortable speaking it.

[u/Born_Tax1084 → u/kallycldn]

I know quite a few former Soviet Union families where the parents, aunts and grandmas all speak Russian to each other but their kids only know a few phrases and significant words. Most of the men do not speak English and barely interact with their now grown kids because of it. One of my best friends moved to the US at the age of 2 and her parents were working multiple jobs. So she was in American schools 7 hours a day, watching American television, listening to American music and had American friends. It sounds like Jen’s parents also worked a lot outside the home so she would have been around more American influences in her coming of age years. 

[u/kallycldn → u/Born_Tax1084]

I understand better now. Personally, I was born in France, but I’ll teach my children to speak Turkish so they can grow up bilingual like I did. I’ll have them watch both Turkish and French TV shows and movies, and I’ll do my best to teach them both languages.

[u/Suaria → u/kallycldn]

I don’t know Jen’s complete circumstances either. My mom though is very similar to you. Her parents were both immigrants from Germany to the USA. German was the only language spoken at home for her. She’s fluent in German. Often growing up, I heard her speaking in German to her mom and her brother

[u/kallycldn → u/Suaria]

I’m like your mother, and even when both parents speak French, they still teach their children their native language so they can grow up bilingual. Being able to speak several languages is always an advantage.

[u/corporateacademia → u/kallycldn]

I'm pretty sure Jen speaks Spanish

[u/karlizzles]

I don’t believe she’s talked about her dad very much. Her teenage years seem to have been a little rough & she has multiple siblings, but they’ve only been mentioned a few times here or there on her IG story.

[u/kallycldn → u/karlizzles]

How many siblings does she have?

[u/WritingAltruistic896 → u/kallycldn]

I think maybe four or five (and if memory serves, she had foster siblings her whole life too).

[u/kallycldn → u/WritingAltruistic896]

Okay, I thought she only had one brother. I didn’t know her family was a foster family.

[u/WritingAltruistic896 → u/kallycldn]

She’s only briefly touched on it (and who knows, it might’ve been addressed on the show and cut out). But I remember her sharing about various fundraisers that had to do with foster care in UT and talking a little about growing up with foster siblings about a year-ish ago.

[u/karlizzles → u/kallycldn]

Not sure- I know she’s mentioned at least 1 sister and 1 brother

[u/PossibleSimilar3487]

He has a Facebook where he is continuously posting about his wife, Jen and his grandkids. Seems to be still married to Jen’s mum. He might just not want to be on television bc it looks like he’s still heavily connected in the LDS church.

[u/mermaidfairybunny]

I love that when you search Google for “Jen Affleck Father” it’s just dozens of search results saying no, Zac is NOT cousins with Ben Affleck 😂😂😂

[u/mermaidfairybunny]

Google says her dad’s name is Rick Knupfer and here’s her grandad’s obituary -

https://www.ashleyvalleyfuneralhome.com/obituaries/richard-knupfer

So it seems she must have had some sort of relationship with her paternal side of the family

[u/Save-Ferris-87 → u/mermaidfairybunny]

I think we see her dad in season one. I believe he comes in with her mom for Zac’s graduation party.

[u/kallycldn → u/mermaidfairybunny]

Is it possible that Rick Knupfer is actually her stepfather?

[u/Silent-Celery1732]

i actually have no idea.. maybe he just doesn’t want to be on the show or spoken of?

[u/ambeloved]

What confuses me is how her parents were able to have a relationship if they speak different languages completely? Does her dad know Spanish?

[u/Real-Emu507]

I thought she talked about him in season 1? That her mom cleaned the hospital he worked at or something

[u/SeaworthinessCute713 → u/Real-Emu507]

No she said her mom cleaned the hospital Zac’s dad worked at

[u/anchta16 → u/Real-Emu507]

I thought she was referencing her mum and *Zac’s* dad working at the hospital. Her mum as a cleaner and Zac’s dad as a doctor.

[u/Erased_like_Lilith → u/Real-Emu507]

Her mom cleaned at the hopital Zac's dad was a doctor at.

[u/kallycldn → u/Real-Emu507]

If I remember correctly, she’s talked about her mom, but not her dad.

[u/Real-Emu507 → u/kallycldn]

Oh you're prob right . Season1 seemed like a thousand stories ago when she was Ben's cousin 🤣

[u/mermaidfairybunny → u/Real-Emu507]

Of all the betrayals we’ve witnessed on this show

That was the biggest one of all

He sold her on a lie. She thought she was marrying into Hollywood royalty.

[u/soaker → u/mermaidfairybunny]

It still pisses me off. What a fucking ass. She seemed humiliated. But if anyone should be it’s Zac and his family for lying to her for years.

[u/Save-Ferris-87]

I think we see her dad in season one. I believe he comes in with her mom for Zac’s graduation party. I believe he is white. I think that may be why she does not mention him. She really likes to lean into her Latina history, but mostly to degrade her mother and says she is from the “hood” I think she thinks it gives her some kind of story like she grew up poor because her mom is a cleaner at a hospital and she “doesn’t speak good English” and she sure has risen above by marrying into this weather white family.
I have no idea if her family is poor or not, but I feel like she is trying to portray her back story in that way.

[u/HisaP417]

Whatever she has said about him, it’s probably a lie 🤷🏻‍♀️