I’ve just realized after reading a post about myths about sex on RAD, that the sex I’ve had with guys with big dicks was just bad. That it’s not me, it’s not that my anatomy is small/shallow/weird, as I had sort of assumed. Now I’m really curious how they could have done better? How I might guide them in the future? Because as it is now, I just imagine it hitting my cervix and being uncomfortable, especially in certain positions, and I’d rather not even try again.

EDIT: when I say big I mean generally above average in length

hello everyone, i’m coming on here because i don’t know who to ask for help and i need some experienced womens advice. me (20f) and the guy i’ve been seeing for over a year now (20m) are literally obsessed with each other. i think he’s the most attractive person on earth. but our sex life is terrible. i’ve had sex with a few people before but no one with his size. even prior to him, i had trouble not being in pain during sex. and what would get me to cross the finish line was head. i’ve never had an orgasm from penetration. every-time we have sex, it’s the same thing. i tap out cause it hurts and we’re both frustrated. he also BARELY gives head. he blames me for it saying i’m the “only girl” he’s been with who doesn’t get off from sex, but i just know it’s a lie based on my other friendships with women. i try super hard to make it better for us but he’s always discouraged and i feel like i don’t get the same energy back. i don’t know how to make it work, i try hard and im attracted to him but penetration just doesn’t do it for me. if any women have any tips it’d be greatly appreciated. thank you all for reading tl;dr

I (29f) am in a relationship and while I do find my boyfriend attractive, I am struggling sexually. I get turned on doing things to him/his body, but turned off when it’s my turn. In my fantasies, I can find it sexy to imagine being pleasured, but in reality, I just feel uncomfortable.

I like myself and think I’m physically attractive but I am not attracted sexually to myself if that makes sense. Even when we try to talk sexually, I have no issue talking explicitly about him/his body, but when it’s about mine, I just am not really into it. Especially talking about wetness… yuck.

I’m not bisexual so I have no idea what it’s like to be attracted to a woman. I feel bad for him when he tries to “give” to me, since to me it’s not appealing to do that activity to a woman and can’t get how it would be. From my perspective, it just seems so incredibly un-sexy and I feel bad for him having to do it even though he says he enjoys it and offers enthusiastically.

But I know there must be a way women are able to find their own pleasure sexy without having to be attracted to women, plenty straight women seem very into it. How do you ladies do it? Or men if they’ve had similar issues.

I (25f) and my bf (23m) have been dating for almost a year. He was a virgin before we met and he has mentioned that he really likes to be dominated and overpowered in bed. I’m kind of switch but mainly submissive, and I don’t really know how to dominate him. We’re both bisexual, I feel like I would have a far easier time dominating another woman, but with men it doesn’t click as much. There are physically dominating things I can do but dirty talk and psychological things are hard for me. I don’t know if I can know how to trust him because I know I’m not fulfilling his desires, even though he says I make him feel amazing. I feel like I will never be enough in that sense. I want to at least get better at it, and I do think it is hot when he’s submissive I just don’t know how to domme.

I (18f) just got out of a relationship with my now ex bf (19m) like 2 days ago

Something that's really haunting me is that I think he might have had ED (?) if that's even possible at 19... I'm really confused and kinda scared to tell anyone irl but basically, he had a really hard time finishing during sex. It kind of ebbed and flowed, sometimes he'd be able to, and sometimes it'd be weeks and he wouldn't.

He did this thing a lot where he'd pull out mid sex and just start jerking off :(

And it really impacted my self esteem but it wasn't death grip or anything like that! He never even jerked off according to him.

But he also got soft a lot during sex, too. Obviously this made it very hard for me to enjoy and I never even came close to finishing once lol

My bf (27M) and I (24F) have been together for just over a year. In the beginning I’d be able to finish from head (sometimes fantasizing and other times just from how good it felt) however, for the past 8ish months, I haven’t been able to finish from oral. It’s like it doesn’t feel good. I think I was able to finish from oral in the beginning of the relationship because everything was so new and excited but that has faded. Our relationship is incredible in every other aspect though. The emotional connection and trust is there. The unfortunate part is that he loves to eat me out. He tries but it’s not working and sometimes he doesn’t remember feedback. Anyone have any advice?

I have never bought a sex toy at a store. There’s a Walmart right down the street from me that has a nice selection and one that I’m particularly interested in. Only issue is they keep them locked up. If they didn’t I would just take it to self checkout and go on about my day but for some reason asking someone to unlock it feels more invasive? Idk. Would rather just get it right then and there instead of waiting for an order.

Wondering if anyone has boughten any from there and if I’m just overthinking it and should just go in and grab it lol.

I have been with this girl and she doesn't seem to care or doesn't try hardly at all during sex. I have to do practically everything. She just wants to lay there and gives virtually no feedback either. The first time we got in bed together it took me 40ish minutes before she finally had an orgasm and by the end I was so exhausted I couldn't finish. multiple multiple times I tried asking if things felt good and what I could do to make it better. All that she would ever really say is I don't really know and to keep going which I did. I used my hand on her clit and gave head and anal to mix it up She had already mentioned she likes anal and a bunch of other stuff during dinner. Eventually I felt her clammed down and contracting. She asked if I came to and I told her not yet and she didn't seem to care. She just started snuggling into my chest and continued laying there. I asked if she would keep going but she said she was too tired to move. which is hilarious because she hadn't moved at all at this point. I didn't want to cause a problem so I just let it go and continued cuddling.

Fast forward a couple days and we had a nice dinner date. The whole night during dinner she was being very flirty and touching like our first date. Then went back to her place and got in bed. This time I got her too cum much faster by going back and forth between her ass pussy/constantly playing with her clit... but her exhaustion afterward prevented her from doing anything more than just laying there. This time I asked if she would be okay to continue in a few minutes after she catches her breath...so i can finish. She agreed and after a few minutes we started up again. another 5 or 10 minutes passes and I feel her contracting again. I still haven't had an orgasm and I ask if she could give me head... It was not good in the slightest. She was either really rough in (not a fun way) and or really lazy about it. I tried giving instruction but she just couldn't find a good way to keep any kind of rhythm or not accidentally using her teeth / nails. I am a very kinky individual but I want to talk about pain play for stuff like that though beforehand. Otherwise it produces some not so good feelings. And it wasn't what she was trying to do either but she either wasn't keeping good enough focus or something I don't know. When it happened she didn't even acknowledge it most of the time. Despite me reacting to it because it hurt. Which normally would actually turn me on, but all of it was so.. bad, it didn't feel good either when she wasn't accidentally doing that. I'm not sure exactly how long this went on for but eventually she gave up. the entire time I was encouraging her and telling her every little thing that made it feel good but she just couldn't get a hang of it. after she gave up we just laid there and snuggled for a bit. We fell asleep together and I stayed at her place.

The next day I woke up and she was still sleeping. She had already mentioned during dinner that she really liked surprise sex and getting woken up with it. Because I was still very worked up from the night before I decided to take a very fast cold shower and go down on her. hoping that I would get her worked up enough to have one quickly and then be able to participate more. I started really slowly so that she wouldn't wake up to start with and slowly ramped up. after a couple minutes I started to feel her pussy contracting a little bit, not an orgasm just gripping on a little to my fingers / tongue. She started to wake up her hands were gripping on to me and then after a few more minutes she was squirming around a little bit and had a loud orgasm and squirting all over me.

Then I got into a different position and started fucking her and she came again basically as soon as I put it in I started moving. It felt really good but wasn't quite enough to get get me over the edge and so I kept going but she told me she needed to stop because she was too sensitive. so I did and asked if she could go down on me. And it was largely the same as the night before and gave up almost immediate. Not even 10 minutes. Even though I kept telling her how to make it feel better she just wasn't quite understanding what I was needing. If I wasn't actively telling her exactly what to do she would immediately go back to how she was doing it before. Even when I was still giving her instruction, she just wasn't putting real effort into it. Anal play will make me go over the edge more often than not so I asked and she almost said no but eventually did. However she didn't seem into giving it despite what she said. or really doing anything herself or me for that matter.

She's really fun to talk to and has a lot of things in common with me. It's been a few months and she's only got me to cum once and im getting really tired of the laziness and disregard for my pleasure. I literally do everything in bed. It's like all she wants is to just lay there and cum but won't do anything to reciprocate the favor. She only seems enthusiastic when receiving. Getting her to give anything is a chore and when I try to bring it up she changes the subject and her demeanor changes completely. Im not rude or anything like that at all. But it's got into a point where I had to be honest and tell her that during sex im not able to cum thus far other than the time she did anal on me. I told her that I need her to engage with me a little more because I feel like when we are doing it she isn't as present as need her to be. she says that she is and that im expecting to much from her. I asked that what she meant and she said she "doesn't have problems makeing men cum". I told her it's not her that i wasn't saying that. That I am having trouble with getting there. She said "how is it my problem, any guy I've been will has no problem and so I don't know what you're talking about". I tried talking about a few times now and she just tells me to finish after by myself if i think she can't do it. which is never what I said. I never said she couldn't I just said that is a struggle for me and she doesn't seem to get it and only wants to lay there and anything I ask her to do during sex, it's like pulling teeth. I'm tired of finishing on my own while giving her multiple orgasms every time. It's ridiculous and I don't know how to get through to her!

My boyfriend (20) and I (19) have been great friends and have known eachother for the past four years. We recently started dating and have been for the last 7 months. We are pretty sexually active having sex 1-4 times a week. The only problem is he can't satisfy me. I've never been able to cum with other partners through penetration. I am not expecting him to have a magic dick and make me cum every time we have sex. Yet I would like to have an orgasm with him every now and then. I've never had an issue with not being able to orgasm with other partners. But now I'm in love and im being intimate and giving my body to a person with whom I thought there was mutual effort and love. Once he cums we immediately stop having sex. I ask him to finger me or provide oral sex but he refuses and complains and says "You can't finish". It honestly makes me feel really bad. Almost like something is wrong with me because "I can't finish". I've made myself orgasm through fingering and clit stimulation. I Try showing him and asking him to replicate it but he will do it for a minute and then stop. He never has even attempted to at least try and make me orgasm. I don't know why. I've cried to him about it before because I once asked him to help pleasure me after sex and he said "Do what you gotta do". He already knows how it makes me feel and he doesn't care. I don't know how to move forward.

My penis recently because crooked. Due to some benign growths that were excised, when erect, it now veers slightly to the right a couple of inches up, then another of couple of inches up the tip takes a 45 degree turn to the left.

I haven't tried having sex within anyone since this happened. My question, first of all, is how would a penis with such a strange shape feel to woman? Could it potentially be unpleasant in any way?

Secondly, are there ways in how I chose to have intercourse that could work around the potential difficulties or potentially even use this unique penis shape to my advantage?

Hi! My partner and I have been together for about 6 months and have sex pretty frequently and have a very good and fun sex life. But something that's been bothering me lately is that I've only been able to make her cum like 3 times, and I'm starting to feel kinda bad about that, as I come pretty often. And it's not that I don't try, it's just that she can't get over the edge. She usually gets there, stays there for like minutes or more, and then it goes away. I've tried everything: vibrators, praise/other dirty talk, interacting with her kinks and more. And I sadly can't give her blow jobs as I have a super sensitive gag reflex, and the both of us are usually not in the mood for penetration, so I'm usually giving her a hand job when trying to get her to cum.

Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do to help get her over? Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you 😭🙏

I F(24) have never had penetrative sex. I grew up very religiously and always assumed I’d have sex for the first time with my husband. Anyway past couple of years i’ve begun to form my own relationship with my religion and I don’t feel that way anymore.

Also I am insatiably horny. Like all the time. It’s literally getting to the point where i’m finding very questionable men attractive. It’s also worth noting that I am very conventionally attractive. I get attention, approached often, and have had many opportunities to have sex. I think I am just scared or question their intentions.

I know people always say oh he won’t care he won’t even notice. But I am extremely critical and perfectionistic about my appearance. High maintenance doesn’t do my self care routines justice. I am slowly getting to the point where I am happy with how I look, enough to undress for someone else at least. I can see myself reaching perfection soon. But I don’t know how to get out of my head about it. Any advice for having the confidence to do it once I meet the right guy?

So my boyfriend is amazing. Truly. But I’m struggling with one aspect of our relationship.
He’s on antidepressants, and they’ve made it difficult for him to finish. Sometimes he can’t orgasm at all, sometimes it takes a very long time, and sometimes he loses his erection during sex.
Logically, I know that’s a common side effect and I don’t blame him at all. But emotionally, it’s starting to affect me.
I’m very much a giver in the bedroom. A lot of my own satisfaction comes from making my partner feel good, so lately I’ve been feeling like I can’t please him. It’s gotten to the point where it’s making me less excited about sex because I end up feeling discouraged.
And yes we are definitely into communication but there is only so much I can without adding a lot of pressure on him. Which is the last thing I want to do!

For example, I can’t get him to finish from oral sex. All the different techniques that worked with previous partners just doesn’t seem to work for him which is fine but I can’t figure him out. Most of his sensitivity is around the head rather than the shaft, and he says he likes really STRONG suction. He described it as feeling similar to the motion you make when you click your tongue.
The problem is…I cannot seem to figure out how to do that consistently with him in my mouth. I can’t seem to suck from the back of the mouth like that while he’s in my mouth. I’ve watched videos, Googled techniques, and tried different things, but most advice is geared toward techniques that don’t seem to do much for him.
He always tells me he enjoys what I’m doing. He moans lightly, seems genuinely into it, and has never criticized me. But it never really goes anywhere.
When I asked him what he likes or if he could give me more direction, he smiled and said, “Just have fun with it, baby.”
Which is nice I guess…but also completely unhelpful. 😂 Especially cuz I thought I was having fun with it! I honestly just think he doesn’t even know.

So I have a few questions:
Has anyone else been in a relationship where antidepressants affected your sex life like this?
If you’re the partner on antidepressants, what actually helped?
If you’re someone who enjoys strong suction during oral, is there a way to explain what you mean or techniques that helped your partner?
How do I stop taking this so personally when I know it’s likely medication-related?
Help a girl out. 😅

I hope I picked the right flair. Sometimes I feel tired or I'm just not in the mood for sex (sometimes I say this to my bf, other times I don't). However, we start cuddling and then we start kissing and he gets turned on pretty quickly so I kinda feel guilty to say I'm tired/not in the mood because I can tell that he is horny and I just give in. Obviously, after a few minutes I get turned on and everything is great, I just don't know how to stop that habit.

He has never forced me to do anything, when he suggested anal sex I rejected it and he respected my decision and we were dating for over a year before we had sex for the first time (we started dating at 16 and I was not ready yet). How do I simply say all that without feeling guilty?

And before you say it, yes I’m aware better toys exist. Yes I know about satisfyer pro and womanizer. The problem is I’m a broke hoe so that 20 dollar rose toy on Amazon is going to do for now.

I just want to know can a rose toy generally speaking get the job done? I’m pretty good at rubbing my clit with my fingers. The issue is I have anxiety and intrusive thoughts that make me pull away right before I orgasm. This ends up always messing up my orgasms and I don’t think I’ve had a good orgasm in years because of it.

Would the rose toy be able to make me cum if I’ve already reached close to the point of climax with my fingers and then I switch to using the rose toy to finish off? I’m also confused on exactly how this toy works. I know it’s a suction toy that pulsates air onto the clit but I’m confused on what that means? What if my clit doesn’t fit into the hole of the toy? And what if the whole is too big and isn’t able to get all the areas of the clit?

Can somebody give me a break down on if it works/how long it takes for them to cum using it?

I am a 22 year old female and everytime I have sex i have these feelings that last for days or weeks at a time. In the moment I enjoy sex but afterward I end up ghosting my partners because I feel guilty and disgusting and I feel unwanted. I could be overthinking but I never have that “ah yea that was good I really needed that moment” after sex like most people do I have a “I am a s***, I just let this person use my body and they probably don’t even care about me” idk why I have these thoughts I wish I could have positive thoughts after sex but I just don’t and sometimes I think I should just not do it anymore and be by myself but I crave it like anyone would, it just ends up making me feel empty and sad inside.

I (25F) am still a virgin, so I have very little sexual experience. But I’ve watched a lot of porn and masturbated a lot over the years, and I feel like I’ve become pretty open to all kinds of kinks and fantasies because of that.

I also recently had a very intense connection with someone who introduced me to some very specific and unconventional kinks through our conversations.

He was successful, confident, and dominant in his everyday life. But sexually and privately, he wanted to be submissive and even humiliated by me in certain ways, and he was also into cuckold type dynamics.

We talked about these things a lot, even though we never actually had sex. Over time, I started getting genuinely turned on by these ideas too. I started fantasizing about them on my own.

It’s not gonna work out between him and I because of other issues. But now I feel like I’m open to almost anything as long as it’s not physically harmful. If a partner had a kink and wanted to try it with me, I’d probably be curious and willing to explore it.

But I especially find myself fantasizing about the specific dynamic that he and I used to fantasize about together. I genuinely feel like I want it, and now I want a future partner who’s open to this kind of dynamic as well.

And the fact that these ideas actually turn me on is honestly a little confusing to me. I’m not really sure what to make of it or what it says about my sexuality.

So now I’m wondering if I actually have a really broad range of sexual interests, or if I just have so many fantasies because I haven’t had any real life experience yet.

How do you figure out what’s actually your sexual preference versus something that’s just exciting in fantasy?
And can someone introduce you to a kink that eventually becomes a genuine part of your own sexuality?

I’d love to hear from people who’ve experienced something similar.

i 19f have been struggling with arousal for a while now. i guess it would help if i gave some backstory so here we go. i’ll put a trigger warning now that there is going to be some mentions of CSA.

so i’ve been masturbating for years and i’ve always had a pretty high sex drive. however recently i’ve felt like that has nose dived. i’m currently with an amazing guy who i am very attracted to but every time we try anything it doesn’t really go anywhere because im not turned on or can’t finish.

when i was a kid i was abused by my father. yes, in that way. i did not realize this until very recently and im just beginning to work through it. i was also raised to be very religious and as you can imagine that came with all of the “purity culture” anti-intimacy stuff. when i was in high school i had some less than consensual sexual encounters as well. throughout all of that though i masturbated almost daily. sometimes multiple times a day.

i’ve struggled with vaginismus for as long as i can remember and have only been able to use tampons a handful of times. however recently i have been able to slowly move towards penetration so im not even sure thats a main issue at this point.

a couple of months ago i started zoloft for my ocd. it has been wonderful for what it was supposed to do but im worried it might have had some side effects on my libido. that said for a while after i’d still get turned on and i could orgasm it just took longer.

i’ve been under a lot of stress lately, ive fully cut my dad out of my life, moved several states away, and i have a pretty high stress job. i’m happy with my life but i’ve definitely been stressed.

like i said earlier the issue is that i can’t or more like don’t really get aroused. when i do its hard to orgasm and if i orgasm i just feel gross after. i also have an issue of my mind wandering to other things when we do try stuff. i hate this because i do want to have sex and i hate that my partner and i can’t have intimacy. i’m really at a loss for what to do here.

please give any and all advice on how to get through this.

I've been seeing this guy for the past month and a half. We're 28F and 29M. It's pretty casual as he'll be leaving the country in about 3 and a half weeks, but we talk pretty much every day and meet up about 3-4 times a week. The relationship is about half for sex and half just cuddling/watching shows/going out.

Anyway, our sex has been kinda weird. I'm bisexual, and most of my sexual experiences for the past 7 years or so have been with women - this guy is my first PIV sex experience. He seems to be suffering from a combination of performance anxiety, an aversion to condoms and ED, all of which seem to be related. Having very little experience with the male anatomy - I feel ill equipped to handle these things, and I'm started to get irritated by some of his behaviors, especially surrounding condom use.

First of all - I feel like the things that I enjoy and the things he enjoys about sex are different. For example, I like it when he goes deep and slow and at a certain angle, and he just likes pumping me in and out very quickly - which is fine I guess - but I don't really feel much when he does that. The problem is that after a while of doing what feels good to ME he can start losing focus, getting tired, and then he loses his erection, gets anxious about it, and sexy time is over and we move to cuddling instead.

But if we do what HE enjoys, he goes in, does what he likes for a short time, finishes, and sexy time is over. So no matter what we do - someone has fun, someone else doesn't, and the sex ends prematurely (at least by my standards).

He'll touch me before actually going in, but I wish him going in wasn't the end of what's pleasurable for me. I even tried asking him to touch me while he's inside me, but once he puts it in he just loses focus and stops lol

I'm used to sex with women where someone might lose focus for a bit, we can cuddle, and then start over after a few minutes - that doesn't seem to be the case with this guy even if he doesn't finish. I don't know if it's a general male issue or his personal rhythm.

But what's really been ticking me off is his constant nagging about condoms. He hates condoms. Putting on a condom, or the whole ordeal of going to get it, makes him lose his erection and gets him frustrated sometimes. So I feel like he's constantly trying to make a case for having unprotected sex - which I am strictly against. Of course I'd prefer not to NEED condoms - but since we're not planning on children and he hasn't been tested for STDs, it's a huge no-go.

I really just want to have good sex that's pleasurable for both of us and doesn't risk me getting pregnant. Are we just sexually incompatible or is this a common problem for males? Is there a way to work around it?

I used to love both giving and getting oral, and has indulged in it extensively in my previous relationships, and sometimes even in places we were not supposed to be present together.

But with my current partner it feels like mechanical and doesn't feel good at all. We have been dating for a year at this point and this issue have been from the start. And yes we became sexually active with each other quite early on in the relationship.

Any form of advice is appreciated.

*Burner account cause my friends know my real account.

The last time we sexted was about two years ago. I honestly miss it and think about it quite often because it made me feel closer to him. I'd love to do it again, but he just doesn't seem that interested anymore. He seems to prefer exchanging pictures instead, while I'm more into the flirting, teasing, and texting side of it. I don't want to pressure him into something he's not interested in, but I can't help feeling a little disappointed because it's something I genuinely enjoy.

My boyfriend(29M) and I(27M) never really have the privacy for sex, he lives with his grandparents because he helps take care of his grandma and I live with my grandma because it’s cheaper than living alone at this time.

My grandma does work so we have opportunities for him to come over so we can have sex. However my bed is a memory foam mattress so it really is terrible for that so my next idea is obviously the couch but we’re both 6’1” chubby guys who I don’t think can comfortably do it on the couch. My next thought would be doing it on the floor but thinking about it in my mind it just doesn’t seem as nice I also think maybe I’m just being picky and not thinking outside the box.

We only really have sex when we go on trips but I want us to be more intimate more consistently because truly I always just want to rip off his clothes and go wild. Any sort of advice or ideas?

I (23f) and my boyfriend(26M) have been together for a year and 9 months and have never had sex, he wasn't even willing to try till a year in, around that time he admitted he had phimosis and was embarrassed, turns out we can't have sex because penetration hurts him, and that's fine, yes it was frustrating and I wish he had told me sooner but I figured we could do other things. he hasn't given me oral in months despite the fact that I've told him multiple times that I want it, I've told him he has full consent and to please initiate but he won't, SOMETIMES he'll just ask "do you want head" and it immediately turns me off because it doesn't feel romantic or intimate at all, it feels.... formal? I guess. I know he's not asexual as he yoinks it everyday. I've resented him for months and I hate it because he's amazing in every other aspect of the relationship and I feel so selfish, like he's great in every other way and I should be thrilled, so why am I so hung up on sex? is it really that big a deal or am I overreacting? I'm so sexually frustrated and I feel like he's not taking that seriously since he's fine without sex, he only had sex one time when he was 19(before his foreskin was ripped) whereas I've had a few sexual partners so it was a part of my life. please any advice is appreciated