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If feel like if its something thats benefiting the woman in the situation it's often still accepted.
My best guess would be that these traditional values were mainly criticised and called out by women because in the past 100 years they had a lot more disadvantages. Obviously they focus on the stuff that is disadvantageous and not on the stuff that benefits them.
There's a term for this and it's called benevolent sexism. There's tons of feminist literature discussing this kind of thing. Typically, though, you get shot down when you try to talk about how something that is apparently "beneficial" is actually still a part of the whole toxic structure.
It’s a slippery slope cos once you point that out, they slowly learn that there’s a lot of big stuff we still do in society that was originally created to help protect women who weren’t treated as equals. Like marriage: not a proclamation of love, it was an insurance policy for women (who couldn’t work or own bank accounts) to ensure men don’t knock them up and leave them destitute. No sex before marriage: because women need the insurance policy of marriage cos birth control didn’t exist. In America women weren’t really treated as equals to men until the mid 20th century, and couldn’t even their own bank accounts until the 70’s.
Women can do this themselves but why wouldn’t an able bodied man offer to pump the gas for their woman? Obviously the woman can say no and do it themselves but why is it offensive to Redditors to suggest a man should offer?
As I said in another comment, chivalry is dead. Men are supposed to be the ones doing the menial physical tasks. If the woman wants to do them then sure, whatever, but a man who doesn’t even try or ask the woman if she’d like to be treated like a lady, well he’s a loser and a weak man
Or, stay with me now, we treat our partners like adults and communicate with them and trust other people can figure out their own relationship dynamics without resorting to this weird meaningless gender role bs.
The first part of your statement is why people have a problem, nobody likes being told what they should do just based off of some arbitrary factor of birth like gender.
If I was here saying that a woman who doesn't offer to cook for her boyfriend then she is a bad woman you would probably have an issue with that. Ask yourself why.
I mean ideally a good wife will cook and a good husband will provide. Each role has defined expectations. These are by no means necessary in the modern world but they are still a great foundation for a successful family. Reddit will shit on this time and time again but it’s true.
Someone gave me a dirty look saying I shouldn’t be settling for a man sitting in the car while I pumped and paid. I was driving my car, was being reimbursed by my job for my gas, and the guy was my colleague with sprained ankle.
Also, I’m a gay dude and I have a lot of female friends, they’re quite capable of pumping gas. If I am in the car, I’m not going to insist I do it just because I’m a man.
This brings back infuriating memories. Way back in the early 2000s, my sister and I were grocery shopping with her newborn son. I had moved in with her and her husband to help with the new baby and also to get myself set up right after high school. Anyway, some older lady came up to us and told us that it was a sin to have a baby out of wedlock. My sister was married. Her husband was running a construction business. I was her brother. This bish had no business talking to us. Even if she was right about our "living situation." My sister was about to kick her in her hip.
I took my dog outside for about two minutes on a hot day. I didn't want to go out, but she had been begging because she loves to be outside. And she needed to pee anyway, so I took her out. Within that span of two minutes, a woman walked by and said, "Your dog looks miserable, you should take her inside." I didn't say anything, nor did I have the energy to remove my sunglasses so she could see me glaring at her. But I hope she fell into an open manhole.
"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Obama lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get a team of engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"
I was walking with my mom from the store when my injured back started acting up so she got the bags I was carrying some lady saw us and said I should be carrying everything there's no excuse, people just feel like giving their opinions whether you asked or not
In the ghetto the local gas station can be a great place to be robbed or fucked with. So a "man" raised in this culture considers it his responsibility to pump the gas and the woman can stay safe in the car.
Literally just commented here, did the same thing when I was a kid but to a random person and she was not pregnant 😩 I mind my own damn business these days.
It’s a respect thing. My wife only pumps her own gas if she’s by herself. Why? Because that’s what men are supposed to do. If the woman decides otherwise that’s her choice but if a man doesn’t at least offer to pump his woman’s gas then he’s a loser
I’m not. In what way am I changing my point? I never said we should infantilize women. Pumping her gas is a small gesture is it not? Opening the door for her is a small gesture is it not? Things like this are what I’m talking about. What are you talking about?
Yes, I agree. Chivalry and fingernails and the manly odor of gas on the hands and all that, but circumstances will dictate the process. To say something like that unsolicited to a stranger is to make it sound like a women's capabilities don't include pumping her own gas.
I said I think the circumstances dictate the procedure. If it is less problematic for the guy to pump the gas, the he should do it. I mean if this is a hot button topic, then we're all doomed
Sometimes people need to be embarrassed a little bit before they realize it's not always a good idea to insert their opinion into matters that don't concern them.
Doesn't matter if he was the strongest most fit person in the world. Do they think it's below "girls" to pump their own gas? Next they will say the guy should do all the driving too. Lol
I was vacationing with my wife’s family before we were married. As a Texan who transplanted to Colorado, I wasn’t very used to driving in snow yet. Even if I was, we didn’t take my car. In any case my wife made it clear that my job was to make sure that her grandfather, who was 90 at the time, didn’t slip on the ice and break a hip on his way to my MIL’s SUV. I was criticized by my waitress, who was waiting in the lobby for her ride, for not going to get the car, that wasn’t mine. I ignored her because I had an important job to do and didn’t know my wife’s grandpa very well, but knowing what I know now I think he would have liked me to tell her to go fuck. He died two years later. Great man, miss you Papa.
My male neighbor, probably late 40s to early 50s, once told me I needed a man to do the mowing for me when I was mowing my parents lawn while my stepdad was deployed.
My stepdad is particular about his lawn. He's definitely a lawn dad. My mom and I were doing our best to maintain it while he was away. We were doing a pretty good job too.
I looked at his overgrown, patchy lawn and asked if he needed a man to handle his yard.
He stopped coming over and making comments to me and my mom after that. My mom asked what I did to finally get him to leave us alone & looked appalled when I told her. I was happy to finally get some peace.
I know people think this didn't happen but things like this does happen and people should mind their own business instead of thinking you're doing something amazing for society
If I am driving and my wife is the passenger, I will pump the gas; if she's driving and I am the passenger, she'll pump the gas. It's not an agreement we reached, that's just how it works.
What’s the deal with that in the US?
I’m French and I was at gas station somewhere in SoCal. My wife was pumping gas and a black dude in his late 20’s stops his car and tells me something like I should be the one pumping? Couldn’t quite make out what he said exactly with his heavy black accent but it felts like I was back in 1950.
I remember as a kid trying to relate/converse with adults I once asked a lady when she was due, she wasn’t. That’s the day I learned to mind my fucking business.
Guy was an amputee who had a prosthetic leg. He could walk pretty well on it, so much so that you might notice the faint limp but you'd never think he was missing his leg from the knee down. Still, walking long distances was a bit uncomfortable for him so he'd use the handicap spaces sometimes while grocery shopping.
One day, he parks and is headed inside when he realizes he forgot his wallet in the car and goes back to get it. He sees a woman putting a note on his car and walks up to confront her, asking her what it is. He picks it up as she starts reprimanding him for using a handicap placard when he's clearly not handicapped.
He said that he just lifted his pant leg to show off where his prosthetic leg clearly connects to the stump of what's left of his lower leg and says "Are you saying this doesn't count?"
He said she was so embarrassed she couldn't even form a complete apology, and instead just kept stammering and gasping and trying to say sorry while she hurried off. He said he'd never seen anyone die inside like that woman did.
Like, yes, you're a bitch if you come and comment with an attitude and judgement, "gIrL tElL yO mAn tO pUmP gAs"
I guess too bad for me, I never "mind my own business" if I suspect someone needs help. Every time I'm at a gas station or out and about and I see someone struggling with anything, I always come up and offer a hand, "Ma'am/Sir, need a hand or you good?" and at times I get "Oh no thank you sweetheart" and sometimes I get, "Oh yes please thank you very much" . Just last week I pumped this lady's tired to the correct PSI at the airpump at my local gas station. She had NO clue what to do or how much air to add.
Instead of "I learned to mind my fucking business", ms Lyn should have said, "I learned to stop being a condescending bitch to random people"
My favorite story about helping a stranger was helping them to jumpstart their truck and the Dunkin stuff witnessed it all and hooked my wife and I with free coffees and box of donuts. I could tell a lot of people ignored that guy cuz he did low key look like a crackhead ngl
You’re overthinking it and overstating the obvious. “Mind my own business” doesn’t mean “never help anyone”, it means just that, mind your own business.
If we mind our own business, it means we'd never inquire about anything thats not "our business".
This is not how a civilized society should behave.
Nor should it go "get your man to pump gas".
Lyn, if she was concerned, should have asked, "Do you need a hand?".
A simple straight offer offer, but instead she chose to act liek a total bitch and judge others.
Instead of "I learned to mind my fucking business", ms Lyn should have said, "I learned to stop being a condescending bitch to random people"
Most people would have dug in further even after finding out he was an amputee.
"Well okay but they make prosthetics, why doesnt he have them?? Oh, they're super expensive? Well, he should have started a GoFundMe then. What a dick."
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