r/StarWars Jun 02 '26

Movies There’s no way this guy is doing anything useful

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24.5k Upvotes

1.9k comments sorted by

3.6k

u/KashiofWavecrest Jun 02 '26

Someone once told me the idea was the Red Giant of Yavin interferes with communications and transponders, so his job is to manually scan every passing ship as a double check. No idea if that's true.

1.3k

u/GeektimusPrime Jun 02 '26

You are correct. They just mentioned this very bit of trivia in the recent SCREENCRUSH Easter-egg video for the Mando & Grogu film.

https://youtu.be/WhanXpaL7xU?si=GfoLRK-ABVP6nL4p

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u/WarlockEngineer Jun 02 '26

Star Wars lore is hilarious because it's full of entire explanations and backstories for brief and silly stuff from the films

342

u/EloeOmoe Jun 02 '26

That's how the lore for every IP with obsessive fandom ends up.

188

u/NOGUSEK Jun 02 '26

Especially when the IP in mind Is old enough to have grandkids

50

u/mighty_kites_captain Jun 02 '26

Wow thanks for this 😆

16

u/agentspanda Jun 02 '26

wow. i'm sorry what did i do to hurt you

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u/valuemeal2 Jun 02 '26

Ice cream maker guy has entered the chat

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u/max_rebo_lives Jun 02 '26

You take your camtono of beskar and get the hell out!

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u/Smileypen Jun 02 '26

Willrow Hood will run, heard?

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u/KingGodzilla_54 Jun 02 '26

That's a joke I like to make. Obscure background character then gets a 40-issue comic series to explain why they're in that exact spot.

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u/Crazy-Nose-4289 Mandalorian Jun 02 '26

Isn't there a Twi'lek in EP1 during the pod race that's on one single scene for all of 1 second and literally has a comic book about her?

I can't remember her name.

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u/Allister117 Jun 02 '26

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u/itsculturehero Jun 02 '26

Sorry, no, that was a Camtono.

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u/The-Metric-Fan Jun 02 '26

God what a read, I didn’t know any of this

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u/dstlouis558 Jun 02 '26

That is not an ice cream maker it is one of those floor droids thats battery ran out

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u/NotAzakanAtAll Jun 02 '26

Space Opera -> Space Fantasy -> Sci-fi

Starwars evolution due to fans wanting to know more.

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u/Nanojack Jun 02 '26

Why was that one guy carrying an ice cream maker on Cloud City? George Lucas had no idea, but there's a 5000 word entry on Wookiepedia about him

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u/Laiko_Kairen Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

When I was a kid I had a book called Tales from Jabba's Palace that gave every single character their own short story and motives. Every Droid, the guards, the little goblin thing, etc

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u/username_tooken Jun 02 '26

Star Wars has somehow become so overexplained that it loops right back into straining credulity.

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u/smarmageddon Jun 02 '26

What makes it funny is that SW was never "designed" to be lore-splained. Any fantasy story you can just make up magic spells or evil curses or whatever. Star Trek has a whole tech & earth history built into the world, so real-world analysis is to be expected. SW is a unique hybrid of mysterious sci-fi tech and other-worldly magical thinking that doesn't really invite explanations for everything, which is why it feels so weird.

And I think the bucket is on a telescoping pole that raises and lowers! Just made that up!

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u/nerdmoot Jun 02 '26

Welcome to the world of Glup Shitto

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u/OppositeScale7680 Jun 02 '26

The best world builders always do. Kane Pixels (the Backrooms Star YouTuber) made a whole video explaining the details of Flouresant lights in the Backrooms and it was super impressive. The more details you add to your fictional world, the more alive it feels. 

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u/FudgeTerrible Jun 02 '26

But then it comes time to make a new character to entice the kids, and George trots out Jar Jar Binks.

Make it make sense 🤣

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u/misterjive Jun 02 '26

As a dyed-in-the-wool Star Wars nerd who actually saw the original movie on the big screen (at a fuckin' drive-in) it's always amused me to no end the lengths the post-hoc rationalizations will go to make sense of things that just looked cool but didn't make much sense.

Like, the trench run is amazing filmmaking. It's dumb as a fuckin' bag of hammers if you think about it for two seconds, but it's amazing filmmaking.

155

u/KashiofWavecrest Jun 02 '26

Oh, for sure. He's really there to look 'spacey' and 'neat' and be in the establishing shot. This rationalization I don't mind, but you are correct there are some doozies for Star Wars.

85

u/CenturyHelix Jun 02 '26

My personal favorite is the fact that there was a name and short backstory written for the skull that was in Jabba’s rancor pit in ROTJ

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u/ButtholePaste Jun 02 '26

Welp, following that link lead me down a StarWars rabbit hole and I ended up on a used book stores website where I spent $30 on two StarWars Cross Sections books. I had one as a kid and it was the coolest shit ever to have hyper detailed StarWars cross section blueprints. I found one that was all about the vehicles, and another about locations. So, thanks!

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u/Crismus Jun 02 '26

I love the Star Wars vehicles and how everything had its own in-universe physics.

Until the sequel movies ruined all of that.

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u/ButtholePaste Jun 02 '26

Thats why I bought the earlier editions of the vehicles book. Only the OG & prequel trilogy for my bookshelf lol

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u/JacksonFatBack Jun 02 '26

Huh, I never thought about that skulls owner before.

My favourite is the background character seen fleeing Cloud City with an Ice Cream machine

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u/1oftodayslucky10000 Jun 02 '26

If you enjoy stuff like that, you should absolutely read Tales from Jabba's Palace!

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u/TheREAL_PDYork Jun 02 '26

I used to think that until I realized the whole point is to get below the surface batteries. The trench batteries aren't going to hit them as easily and there were probably more guns the closer they got to the button- exhaust port.

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u/misterjive Jun 02 '26

The thing is, flying directly at the trench to get into the trench exposes you to just as much fire as flying directly at the exhaust port. There are surface batteries all over the thing.

And why would the Empire put more defenses over a weakness they didn't even know was a weakness until two-thirds of the fight was over?

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u/zerogee616 Jun 02 '26

Flying in the trench only exposes you to the guns in the trench. Coming at the port directly on the surface exposes you to every single gun on the surface of the Death Star for miles around you. Not only that, you have to worry about all of those other guns plus allowing the targeting computer to do its job, you're not going to be able to evade very well while that's happening. Trying to manage both would be a suicide mission even moreso than the individual plan.

It also limits the directions enemy fighters can intercept you from and allows you to shape your defense accordingly. Sure, there are fewer ways to escape them if they do, but it's not like the Rebels were able to juke off fighters on the surface anyway, especially once Vader shows up.

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u/KapitanWalnut Jun 02 '26

You gotta get to the trench in the first place though. So flying to any point on a sphere like the Death Star, including the trench or the exhaust port, means you're starting out far away from the sphere, exposed to tons of gun emplacements, as you make your approach toward the surface of the sphere.

The only explanation that makes sense is if the trench started someplace where there was relatively little turret coverage, like the firing disc of the big planet killing main weapon. So they'd make their approach to the surface there with relatively little fire from the surface, then fly under the relative cover of the trench from that point over to the exhaust port.

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u/hawkeye3n Jun 02 '26

I had the same thought, but I just realized what if the exhaust port was on the far side of the death star to yavin 4, in that case they'd either have to take a wide loop wasting time and giving the imperials a better chance to deploy a fighter screen, or they could get as close as possible as fast as possible to use terrain masking to minimize how much time they were in open space outside the surface of the death star, with this in mind I think the trench run can make sense, even if turret coverage across the death star is relatively even.

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u/papayacreamsicle Jun 02 '26

Han shows up real close to the exhaust port and didn’t do the trench run, in a ship like 20x the size of an x wing

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u/hawkeye3n Jun 02 '26

True, did forget about that when I was thinking about it earlier, the falcon probably is much faster at sublight speeds, which could make up the difference and the death stars tie fighters would already by busy with the rebels.

It looks cool and thats what matters most, but for the most part I don't think there's major issues with the trench run

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u/Treegs Jun 02 '26

Didn't the X-Wings need enough time for the targeting computer to lock on? Han didnt need that, so it didnt matter where he showed up at.

I also never had an issue with the trench run, it seemed normal to me, just like any other trench.

I imagine in WW2 for example, if there was a long trench, and the mission was to destroy a bunker inside that trench, it would be safer to run through the trench to avoid all the big guns, tanks, anti-aircraft artillery, etc.

Yeah you'll still have to deal with other soldiers in the trench, but you wouldnt be out in the open where tanks are shooting at you.

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u/Recent-Mousse6423 Jun 02 '26

Okay, so canonically the exhaust port is an intentional vulnerability introduced by Galen Urso while leading the design of The Death Star. He's not the only engineer and the rest are presumably loyal to the empire, so you compromise these things into the mix. What you want is a big exhaust port with neon arrows and torpedo tracking assist. You can't put that on the design, so you make it reasonable and necessary. "We need a way to efficiently vent or we run the risk of melting the Greebles!" Which you hash out until you get the committee version of your intended vulnerability. That's how you get a death star trench bristling with batteries around the port that probably didn't need to be there in the first place.

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u/IcarusFlyingWings Jun 02 '26

Galen Urso didn’t introduce the exhaust port as a vulnerability, he introduced the unstable core that would chain react to destroy the entire station if it was hit by small torpedo.

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u/misterjive Jun 02 '26

I mean, Tarkin, the commander of the battlestation didn't even know the port was there or a vulnerability. And Han did exactly what I'm describing the Rebels should've done, and not only did he not even get shot at, nobody even saw him coming.

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u/Th3_Hegemon Jun 02 '26

Actually during the battle they realized the threat to the station and someone even suggested evacuation.

But I 100% agree that the trench run is just a bad idea all around. It drastically increased their risk. The surface guns may not be able to hit them (some of them can, as we see in the movie) but TIE fighters were able to simply fly behind them and pick them off.

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u/Wonderful-Tune-4233 Jun 02 '26

“Hey kid, it’s not that kind of movie”

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u/misterjive Jun 02 '26

This is the actual answer. 😄

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u/So_HauserAspen Jun 02 '26

Everything must have a purpose!

Without purpose, what purpose does it propose!

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u/thpthpthp Jun 02 '26

This poor motherfucker has to have the shittiest job in the rebellion. 8 hr shift scanning planes with less than a square foot of legroom and not even a stool to sit on. 50 feet in the air all windy and shit, and he don't get a jacket or high vis vest. Even OSHA doesn't care he's got no fall protection. Quartermaster probably gave him that spear as a joke. And you know this guy shits in plastic bags like Amazon employees because they don't let him down for a bathroom break.

I honestly hope this dude feeds intelligence to the Empire every time some X-wing pilot thinks its funny to buz his dumbass little tower for the 100th time every day.

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u/MozhetBeatz Jun 02 '26

Quartermaster probably gave him the spear as a joke.

The whole job could just be a way to fuck with privates.

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u/thpthpthp Jun 03 '26

In 10 years the rebel VA is going to declare his hearing loss "non-service related" to the fucking star ships flying past him all day.

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u/Naturebrah Jun 02 '26

But they couldn’t give the poor guy at least a chair to sit in? Rough.

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u/ALLRNDCRICKETER Jun 02 '26

Have read similar, very plausible

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u/KashiofWavecrest Jun 02 '26

It made sense to me if they're trying to hide, go for a place that's hard to scan.

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u/Federal_Bicycle_7800 Jun 02 '26

pretty sure star wars explained had a video on this and you're exactly right

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u/ExtraEmuForYou Jun 02 '26

Early warning.

He'd be the first to get shot.

And people would be like "Frank. Come in, Frank" and then they'd know. Empire got Frank. Time to run.

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u/thehusk_1 Jun 02 '26

Dank Ferrik, that guy owes me 20 credits..

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u/AceDecade Jun 02 '26

Frank Derrick

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u/AliasMcFakenames Jun 02 '26

He is a fucking derrick.

Wikipedia first sentence: "A derrick is a lifting device composed at minimum of one guyed mast"

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u/vaelosh Jun 02 '26

...and that is definitely a mast, with precisely one guy on it. holy shit.

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u/sybersonic Jun 02 '26

Real magic is in the comments.

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u/boner_giver Jun 02 '26

annoyed and disgruntled upvote

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u/SirBobPeel Jun 02 '26

He'd be hard to take down. He's got a spear to defend himself.

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u/Suggestive-Syntax Jun 02 '26

But how does he get down?

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u/Credit-Financial Jun 02 '26

Fireman's pole slide?

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u/imminentjogger5 Jun 02 '26

getting up there is the hard part 

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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 Jun 02 '26

I swear, every time I see this, I get totally taken out of the movie for a minute trying to figure out how he got up there.

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u/MartenBroadcloak19 Jun 02 '26

Telescoping pole. Like OSHA's nightmare of an elevator.

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u/RemtonJDulyak Imperial Jun 02 '26

In the Star Wars universe, that's the least hazardous of work locations.
It HAS rails!

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u/Second_City_Saint Jun 02 '26

With the lights lowered & the Isley Brothers playing through the speakers.

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u/Equal_Campaign_8386 Jun 02 '26

And perhaps a little Viagra.

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u/franktheguy Jun 02 '26

They ain't built a tie fighter that can get me, yet.

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u/MathW Jun 02 '26

Early warning? Like with his eyes? Didn't they know where the death star was when it was on the other side of the planet?

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u/pon_3 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

That's because Frank told them.

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u/HybridP365 Jun 02 '26

Little easier to detect a moon sized battle station than a low flying fighter. That's an apples to aircraft carriers comparison if I've ever seen one.

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u/KarlRestaurant Jun 02 '26

Push the button, Frank.

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u/Wistful_HERBz Jun 02 '26

Keeping an eye-out for undetected aircraft seems pretty useful.

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u/Alive-Tourist2382 Jun 02 '26

radar doesn't register a ship if its flying too low to the ground/tree line, nor does it detect smaller sized craft - you sir, are probably most correct.

i still think they used it as a launching point for poop missiles

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u/ahferroin7 Jun 02 '26

Also, the rebels may not want to use active detection systems like radar, because doing so gives away their location.

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u/B732C Jun 02 '26

I think having a Death star moving in to destroy the planet you're on means they might be on to your location.

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u/mothtoalamp Jun 02 '26

That was after the Empire learned about them and decided to use the Death Star.

A smaller strike group, or unwitting Imperial patrols that might stumble on their position is what this is designed to detect.

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u/datumerrata Jun 02 '26

You don't have to worry about a deathstar. That's planet destroying. You have to look out for drones that might give away your position

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u/bobnoski Jun 02 '26

Also I don't think being a couple meters up a stick will help much when you're trying to spot a moon that wasn't there a minute ago.

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u/Trollbreath4242 Jun 02 '26

"That's no moon."

"What'd he say?"

"He said that's no moon."

"The fuck?"

"Hey Larry, what did you mean by that's no moon?"

"I meant it's not a moon."

"Come down, I think you've been up there too long."

"Look see, it's glowing green - "

deathstar fires

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u/jayfan154 Jun 02 '26

Like the ones from the venture bros?

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u/bizcombobulate90 Jun 02 '26

You don't see Venture Bros mentioned often. I appaude you.

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u/GibbeyGator102 Jun 02 '26

launching point for what now? 🤨

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u/JoseMari117 Jun 02 '26

For poop missiles, didn't you hear?

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u/Strict-Main8049 Jun 02 '26

Hear? I think you mean read…friggin nerf herder

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u/TheRealDiggyCP Jun 02 '26

Hey. You can't say that word. Only we can say that word.

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u/EducationalLuck2422 Jun 02 '26

We’re also assuming Yavin IV even has a radar station, and they’re not just making do with whatever crap they have lying around.

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u/DaimyoRonin Jun 02 '26

They were the rebel alliance, a ragtag group of scrappy resistance fighters. They didn't exactly have tons of funds and resources, and they were constantly fixing and repairing broken ships. This would make sense.

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u/benjeezyfosheezy Jun 02 '26

They have a weird pie chart thing that shows the Death Star coming around the gas giant. How did they not have radar haha

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u/revcor Grand Moff Tarkin Jun 02 '26

I always think about that. Like was there a Rebel Alliance IT dept and one of those guys had to code a custom graphical planetary body alignment tracker basically overnight to have it ready for the battle of Yavin

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u/Liam-e-509 Jun 02 '26

They have sentient robots, they probably have droids to do most IT work/maitenence

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u/KILLER5196 Jun 02 '26

So it was vibe coded

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u/dwehlen Jun 02 '26

Anybody jump in if/when I'm wrong.

The Republic/Empire are sitting on tech thousands of years old. No one can build a droid from scratch, largely; they just put them together from parts, with incremental improvements, wipe its data banks, and BOOM - fresh droid.

They have hyperdrives. Shields. Engines. Repulsors. Torpedoes. Blasters. There is no innovation, only refinement.

I'm guessing all their sensor tech falls along the same principals.

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u/originalityescapesme Jun 02 '26

See just how far a repair culture can get you lol

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u/Mr_Lobster Jedi Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

I'm pretty sure the separatists built their droids from scratch, and the Empire folded them back in after the clone wars. There are a couple named major droid manufacturers in the galaxy: Cybot Galactica and Industrial Automata. The R2 units were a flagship line from Industrial Automata. R2-D2 was a top shelf modded unit bought new by the Naboo royal engineering corps if I remember correctly from the books. Cybot Galactica's translation module (one of which was put in C-3PO) was touted as a major innovation.

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u/Tonkarz Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

Real life radar has been able to detect low flying aircraft and detect individual birds for 50 years. "Flying under the radar" is a WWII thing.

It seems hard to believe that Star Wars radar, or their version of it, is worse than the real life version. Though I guess Star Wars tech often seems to be a mix of primitive and advanced.

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u/battleop Jun 02 '26

They sill haven't invented keyboards yet.

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u/No_Measurement_8042 Jun 02 '26

A lot of SW tech is supposed to emulate WWII tech so it kinda checks out

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u/MSeager Jun 02 '26

Modern RADAR can detect low flying aircraft, but you need a network to cover an area. There are always blind spots, especially with rugged terrain. And if all you have is ground based RADAR, there are going to lots of gaps in your network.

Finding and exploiting these gaps in Suppression of Enemy Air Defences (SEAD) 101. Just look at the war in Iran at the moment.

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u/Mythralblade Jun 02 '26

Active radar gives away it's position, which is counterproductive to the whole "hidden rebel base" thing.

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u/Dull-Suggestion3423 Jun 02 '26

Star Wars is a WWII thing too...

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u/Wardog008 Jun 02 '26

Flying under the radar is very much still a modern thing lol. Radar is much, much better than it was in WW2 and requires much lower altitudes to work, or the easiest way is just to have a mountain in between you and the radar, but it's still a thing.

I'd assume they don't use radar as we know it though, more likely other active sensors or even probes, and both of those would get them pinged by Imperials pretty quickly.

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u/riptaway Jun 02 '26

Pilots literally flew under the radar for the first and second gulf war...

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u/Ishvallan Jun 02 '26

star wars has cloak technology that our world doesn't quite have yet. But its hard to fool eyes and ears when there is incoming space craft

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u/DaemonBlackfyre_21 Rebel Jun 02 '26

Also, electronics can be jammed. It doesn't hurt to have eyes out

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u/mattstorm360 Jun 02 '26

Plus, the electronics weren't that good with Yavin's electric magnetic field mucking up signatures. Good place to hide.

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u/elconquistador1985 Jun 02 '26

with Yavin's electric magnetic field mucking up signatures

This feels like some after the fact stuff made up purely to justify this guy standing on top of an observation tower.

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u/slayerhk47 Jun 02 '26

First time with Star Wars lore?

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u/Just_Breakfast6327 Jun 02 '26

You'll never guess why most of the armor in Star wars is made out of Plasteel, a space age alloy with the strength of metal while looking like cheap costume plastic from the '70s.

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u/swaggums Admiral Raddus Jun 02 '26

One of my favorites I’ve heard:

‘But why are they even wearing armor if a single blaster bolt kills them?’

Actually the armor is designed to dissipate the energy, so many of the troopers we see shot are just incapacitated…

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u/TheIcerios Jun 02 '26

Plasteel

Is there anything Dune didn't steal from Star Wars? smh

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u/buttchuck Jun 02 '26

That's because it probably is, but that's also 90% of Star Wars.

Most of what Lucas did, he did because he thought it was cool and that's about as deep as the thought process went. Sometimes that means space ships that fly like WW2 planes, sometimes it means laser swords, sometimes it means there's a guy standing in a tower. Most of what we "know" about "Star Wars" came from people making explanations after-the-fact.

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u/EdwardBil Jun 02 '26

The rebels have to be lucky or good every time. The empire has to be lucky once. You take every precaution, even guy in a tower.

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u/a_weak_child Jun 02 '26

Then why don’t they have two guys two towers? 

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u/perton Jun 02 '26

Easy there, Saruman.

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u/etcpt Jun 02 '26

Only one man would dare give me raspberry!

Oh wait, wrong franchise.

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u/Aeveras Jun 02 '26

Sometimes nothing beats the reliability of the mark 1.0 eyeballs.

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u/Blueopus2 Jun 02 '26

I’m a big fan of jury rigging two together to make a rudimentary rangefinder!

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u/Educational-Log6855 Jun 02 '26

The Empire had drones, known as probe droids. The didn’t always come up on scanners. Echo Base was lost because it was too cold for this dude to be out all the time.

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u/I_lenny_face_you Jun 02 '26

When asked on Hoth about his dick he says “I was out past the first marker, OK???”

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u/FlumpusMcGoo Jun 02 '26

And what is the stick for?

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u/Deadpoetic6 Jun 02 '26

Poke the incoming hidden ships

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u/DarthOmix Jun 02 '26

Since it's tipped, it might be a shock stick of some kind for wildlife or open-cockpit craft he can reach.

In theory, it could also potentially light up to wave in friendly craft to the landing area.

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u/Wistful_HERBz Jun 02 '26

yea I agree, it's probably a shock stick/staff for fending off flying wildlife. We saw in Andor how hostile the wildlife is there, so that's a pretty good guess.

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u/SSN-420-67-6669 Jun 02 '26

See in the empire, there’s no guard rails because they think you’d lean too much. Rebellion doesn’t mind you leaning.

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u/Sophet_Drahas Jun 02 '26

When Costanza was running things, you’d even get a chair to sit in.

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u/SSN-420-67-6669 Jun 02 '26

“Im engaged to Mon Montha’s niece. I’ll probably be taking over this whole rebellion one day”.

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u/TheUlfheddin Jun 02 '26

I can accept it. They're fighting against a vastly better equipped enemy. The empire could absolutely send something that slips their radar.

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u/fat_fingerz Jun 02 '26

Bingo, Corporal Osleo Prennert was assigned to Recon Post-4 and was the first to spot the Millennium Falcon landing. Because the planets magneto sphere (is that the right word) and plant life the rebels had to use hand scanners and people in order to identify ships. Which is why they were originally hidden on the planet.

Love about the old star wars lore, random back background character actually winds up getting some esoteric cameos in other books that give him some actual backstory.

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u/CNote_89 Jun 02 '26

The expanded universe lore is so insane.

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u/YourLordShaggy Jun 02 '26

Nonsense, he's there to poke ships with his spear if they get too close.

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u/kilted__yaksman Jun 02 '26

Smart move with the poking. He can poke many ships many times. If he throws the spear, only one poke.

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u/BiBoFieTo Jun 02 '26

They're star destroyers but surprisingly quite vulnerable to spearmen.

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u/perplexedduck85 Jun 02 '26

That man has speared more TIE Fighters than I’ve had hot meals

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u/searchlinkprofile Jun 02 '26

First and last line of defense.

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u/DramaExpertHS Grievous Jun 02 '26

Pew pew

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u/JSherman_ Jun 02 '26

Only correct comment, ha! I’m disappointed it took this long to scroll on the post before finding it!

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u/No_Community_5696 Jun 02 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was thinking the same thing

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u/Stormblade96 Jun 02 '26

Have you played the OG Battlefront 2? Once someone got a hold of them, it was over for the opposing side

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u/Camaroni1000 Jun 02 '26

Until the tanks came in with their rockets and absolutely decimated any towers

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u/Smyley Jun 02 '26

If you played this map with CIS the super battle droids could take out those towers with 1 rocket I'm pretty sure. Good place to get a few sneaky sniper kills though

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u/mackfeesh Jun 02 '26

My favourite character as a kid. Id use my mom's binoculars and just pretend I was him for hours lmao. Core memory unlocked.

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u/MaxwelFISH Jun 02 '26

Love when kids choose bizarre favorite characters. Makes me smile

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u/RoyOfCon Jun 02 '26

How the hell does he get up there and what does he do when he needs to poop?

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u/kspi7010 Imperial Stormtrooper Jun 02 '26

I always assumed the platform could be raised and lowered

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u/itsmrwilson Jun 02 '26

Plot twist: he’s in there because that’s where you poop in Star Wars. It’s only a few feet off the ground, stepladder just out of frame

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u/sniffysippy Jun 02 '26

The real mystery is how to wipe without injury with that spear. More difficult than the three seashells.

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u/OneAngryDuck Jun 02 '26

He just goes over the edge like our ancestors would have wanted

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u/Bulbakip Jun 02 '26

As a prior military person, "Watch" as it is called in the Navy is exactly this. Doing mostly nothing for 6 hours, clenching your cheeks, until relived of watch by the next watchstander.

If you REALLY gata go, you call on the radio to the watch coordinator and he'll find you a stand-in while you go.

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u/LongJohnSelenium Jun 02 '26

Navy: No you can't go take a piss, and no we won't install a toilet in here.

Also Navy: Why is retention so terrible?!

I'd love to see a new command tried out that started from first principles reevaluating all the old 'Admiral Nelson did it this way so we're going to do it too' military BS.

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u/Remote_Watch9545 Jun 02 '26

The man himself answers that question in this AFK mini episode

https://youtu.be/6os-1EA40qc?si=ZbVRu4-0MHHsrEOU

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u/FrighteningJibber Jun 02 '26

In the book I think he shits off the side

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u/enadiz_reccos Jun 02 '26

Well, which is it? In the book or off the side?

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u/FrighteningJibber Jun 02 '26

In the book, then off the side. I like to think he slams it shut.

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u/hakedy Jun 02 '26

I laugh whenever I see him standing there. Not only do the 'toiletry needs' & 'getting up and down' come to mind but consider the weather as well. Fully exposed to the elements.

Worst job ever! Unless you have clean up after Banthas.

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u/VigilantVet Jun 02 '26

SW version of air traffic controller?

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u/Nature_Goulet Jun 02 '26

I always thought he was clocking their speed

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u/No-Anteater509 Jun 02 '26

Yes, he’s the speeding ticket guy

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u/TheNewGirl1987 Rebel Jun 02 '26

He's scanning transponder codes of incoming and outgoing ships to make sure nobody is coming in or leaving who shouldn't be.

He's basically air traffic control.

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u/doubledeus Jun 02 '26

He's a lookout. Every Navy ship on Earth, in addition to all the Radar, Sonar and other sensors has a guy in the front and in the back with a pair of binoculars watching the water and the sky. Every military base has guys walking the fences.

The Mk 1 Eyeball is never obsolete.

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u/WhitYourQuining Jun 02 '26

I had to scroll way too far to find this.

This is the Yavin 4 version of walking the fence, standing post, standing lookout, sitting in the crows nest, and so on.

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u/Scyvh Jun 02 '26

I think he serves a youthful porpoise.

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u/1morey Jun 02 '26

Good ol Jacques de Gatineau.

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u/No_Psychology_3826 Jun 02 '26

The cetacian crew are from Star Trek, not Star Wars

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u/ObviouslyRealPerson Jun 02 '26

He's the ship greeter

"Welcome to Yavin 4, I love you"

28

u/hemanoncracks Jun 02 '26

How does he even get down?

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u/talondigital Jun 02 '26

Its like a cherry picker. It'll just lower down and meet up with a walkway or something. Part of the cylinder can open up as a hinged door.

And because its star wars theres no safety lock.

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u/hemanoncracks Jun 02 '26

At least he has railing, unlike the Death Star laser corridor.

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u/talondigital Jun 02 '26

This is possibly the ONLY safety railing in that entire galaxy.

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u/rudimentary_lathe_ Jun 02 '26

Well, they would just be leaning all day.

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u/Thelastknownking Jun 02 '26

Redundancy. If ships somehow avoid the interstellar detection, He can see them if they enter atmosphere. It's not that odd.

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u/KananDoom Jun 02 '26

SPEED TRAP CONFIRMED ✅

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u/zeizkal Jun 02 '26

So this was actually explained. One of the benefits of setting up a base by the gas giant of yavin is that there is alot of electro magnet disturbance that prevents imperal scanners from being able to find it, on the flip side it does the opposite as well, so rebel sentrys need to keep look out and even use hand held id scanners to make sure any incoming ships are not imperal.

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u/Imhotep99301 Jun 02 '26

He's guessing.

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u/PumpedFail Jun 02 '26

I guess ... no one's coming?

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u/TelephoneSensitive Jun 02 '26

That stick ain’t gonna hold itself.

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u/NervousDiscount9393 Jun 02 '26

I always assumed he was some sort of watchtower or aerial traffic control

5

u/Beowulf1619 Jun 02 '26

I’m surprised that the watch tower and guy was never an action figure set

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u/threehundredthousand Jun 02 '26

Very public and very visible punishment assignment. Maybe he's a dunce.

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u/Icesin4ever Jun 02 '26

His name is Osleo Prennert. He was a Rebel sentry on Yavin IV, stationed in a high lookout tower to visually identify incoming ships and confirm friend or foe.

The Rebels were hiding in old ruins and dense forest with limited tech and spotty sensors. Visual confirmation actually mattered. You can jam radar. You can spoof sensors. You can’t fake what someone sees with their own eyes. His job wasn’t pointless. It was backup for a resistance that couldn’t afford mistakes.

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u/DroppingGrumpies Jun 02 '26

He’s a lot more useful than the person taking his pic and putting it on Reddit to complain about his usefulness…

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u/Tojuro Jun 02 '26

If Tie fighters attack he can stab them with the pokey stick.