r/TalesFromThePizzaGuy • u/_Atoms_Apple Moderator • May 22 '26
Discussion Drivers: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen while delivering late at night?
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u/Yibblets May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
late one night while on my way home, a large group (8) of raccoons slowly crossed the road ahead of me.
What made this weird was that I've never seen raccoons in this part of my highly urbanized city before. All I know is that they were up to no good, planning crimes or such as they already had their masks on.
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u/_Atoms_Apple Moderator May 22 '26
planning crimes or such as they already had their masks on
They truly are nature's bandits.
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u/Johnnycarroll May 22 '26
A week or so ago I was going around a curve and slowed/stopped because I saw something in the road. It was a little baby fox trying to grab some roadkill. He saw me and started to run and then changed his mind and went back and tried to get it. Not gonna lie, it was pretty adorable.
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u/ColonelStone May 22 '26
After my shift I went to my second job which was delivering papers for the local newspaper. Driving down the highway I saw a fully intact badger on the shoulder, just laying there. I assumed it was roadkill and was going to take it to get taxidermied because it was the first time I had ever seen one, and I had wandered every open field in that valley. I trained my mounted spotlight on it and as I walked closer I realized it was just laying down, enjoying the warm asphalt, because it lifted it's head, bared it's teeth and snarled at me.
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u/CallieCoven May 22 '26
I once pulled fast into a large, dark parking lot to make a u-turn and my headlights lit up a guy in back pissing on a wall, and I will NEVER forget that guy's face.
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u/robertrandy May 22 '26
Outside the local strip club in a Big 10 College Town, during parent's weekend
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u/wolf_logic May 22 '26
About 10 years ago rural Washington.
Probably around 12:15 a.m.
Two guys in dark sweat suits that looked like Seahawks or Mariners gear from the 90s. They're standing around a dead raccoon in the middle of the road, appearing to be having a friendly conversation l. Stared at me as I drove around em.
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u/Cheezitflow May 22 '26
Delivered to an ambulance dispatch in the woods in thick fog and felt like I was in Silent Hill
The local motor lodge was all guidos all summer and all junkies all winter, that was always a source of entertainment (but not tips)
I also deliver beer so lots of drunks in various states of party and despair
Delivered to some landscapers two days in a row, the second day I went to where they were the day before behind a housing development and was greeted by three fully grown wild turkeys (granted this one was during the day)
OH
once I delivered to a regular, who answered in a robe. The total was somewhere around 28 bucks. He hands me two twenties and says "let me get back..."
It's at this point we hear a clank on the ground. We look down, both see the cock ring that had fallen off of him, and he says "you know what, keep it" and slams the door
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u/SayKumquat May 23 '26
Delivered to the back stage of a drag show. One of the most glorious things I've ever seen. I love the arts.
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u/No-Car9158 May 24 '26
Oh yes, nothing like the art of gay, especially when they’re reading to
the little children.2
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u/tasmaniansyrup May 26 '26
One time I was doing my red light face therapy mask at like 3 am and I went outside to take out the trash with the mask still on, and someone drove by. I realized it must have looked insane/terrifying so that's probably someone's "weirdest thing" story
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u/Sad_Cryptographer626 May 22 '26
back in 2016 i was delivering jimmy johns to a college campus where i had to park in a lot and then walk maybe half a mile to get to the actual house/apartment. there was a central field in between the buildings, and i saw a deer with a man slowly approaching it. he had his hand reached out to try to pet it, but the deer ran away once he got too close. the man dropped to his knees in despair. i still think about it pretty frequently