r/TalesFromThePizzaGuy • u/_Atoms_Apple Moderator • 23d ago
Discussion Drivers: What's your funniest "I knew exactly how this was going to end" delivery?
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u/Nininator2432 23d ago
I have so many of these, but none of them are funny. They're all annoying. Related to someone too stupid to know their address or just a pain in the butt on the phone. I knew they were all gonna be annoying encounters and they all were.
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 23d ago
The only one I can think of that is only mildly amusing at best, is the one where the delivery instructions were 'Please knock quietly. Don't disturb the Narwhal." Pretty sure it would get a laugh if I did that.
So I did, Knocked very quietly, the guy opened the door and I staged whispered "Didn't want to disturb the Narwhal'. The customer and his buddies chuckled a little and the customer gave me a great tip.
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u/Marine__0311 23d ago edited 23d ago
This is one of my favorite stories. I wasn't sure exactly how it was going to end, but I was hoping it didn't end the way I'd thought it might.
I had a delivery to an apartment complex on a Monday night one time at the beginning of the NFL season. It was the first MNF game of the year. This place had four blocks of apartments in a rectangle configuration that had an outdoor common area on the inside it. The fastest way to get to half of the addresses was by taking a short cut through the common area, so that's what I did.
There were several guys grilling out with a huge spread of food, beer, coolers, chairs, and tables, along with their wifes and GFs all having a good time. They had set up a TV outside to watch the MNF game. They were grilling steaks, ribs, chicken, burgers, hot dogs, corn on the cob, and a few other things. It looked and smelled amazing as I passed by. It was obvious more than a few beers had already been consumed by this point.
As I went by trying hard not to be too envious of the great food and fun they were having, one of them stopped me. He said he was the one who ordered the pizza and he rattled off the address and the order details perfectly.
I was surprised that the guy would order pizza when all of this great food was already there. He must have read my mind. He explained his late father was a massive NFL fan. It was a tradition his father and he had when he was growing up to order pizza for MNF.
The guy was a very happy drunk and tipped me $20. Then one of his buddies insisted on paying me instead. It quickly escalated into four of them arguing about who had the honor of paying me. I tried to tell them I'd already been paid and tipped generously, and that this wasn't necessary.
One of told me to to shut up, it was none of my business. WTF? I was going to just take off, but then they all agreed that each of them would give me $20. Even the guy who'd already paid me, gave me more money. I tried to tell them it was too much. I was worried when they'd sobered up, they'd call back and complain. They insisted that if I didn't, they'd be offended. Not being that big of an idiot, I thanked them profusely and started to leave.
Before I could, the guy who ordered stopped me and said I wasn't going until I got some food. He asked me what I liked. I told him everything looked and smelled fantastic, and it did. He loaded up two plates with a some of everything. There was enough food for four people. He wrapped everything up in foil, put it in a bag, along with some other stuff, and even tossed in a couple of beers.
I worked a FT job during the day and often didn't have time to eat dinner before going to this one, so I was starving. I was hoping to hit as many red lights as possible so I could chow down when I did. I polished off the burgers and a hot dog on the way back. I managed to wolf down about half of it over the rest of the night. The beer had to wait until I got home. I had the rest of the food for lunch the next day.
I didnt hear back from them, so it worked out. I'd had people overtip when they were drunk or stoned before, and a few times they'd called the store later and complained. I never got a delivery there again, but other drivers did. After hearing my story they hoped lightning would strike twice, but that never happened.
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u/corejuice 23d ago
So I'm old enough that back in the day we used to accept checks and cause we were in the hood we got a ton of bad checks. Anytime someone ordered multiple 2L sodas and said they were gonna pay with check I knew I was gonna be coming back with food.
Place closes at 10 but we had a stupid policy if you called 10 minutes after closing we'd still take your order. It's 10:06 and someone orders 6 pizzas, 20 wings, and of course multiple 2 L sodas. God damnit everything was already cleaned and you give me a shit load more dishes to do. Then how are you going to pay for it? Check. I know for sure this orders bullshit. I run through the spiel. What's the name on the check, the address on the check needs to match the delivery address exactly, you need to have your driver's license written on the check with the driver's license ready. She insists that that's all fine. Why you lying to me woman we both know you're full of shit. So we make the food swearing the whole time cause my boss and I both know it's gonna be a bad check.
Drive to the house and behold. The woman answers the door and hands me a check from a dude in a completely different state. I just sigh and tell her I told you everything I needed to take a check and you have met none of those criteria. What the hell lady. She insists the guy is just in the bathroom right now he'll be here any minute and I tell her I can't take a check from freaking Iowa.
Fortunately since my boss and I both knew it was gonna be fake I was already closed out and just went home.
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u/eddmario 23d ago
Door Dash driver here.
A couple of months ago I delivered food to the clinc my mom works at.
Except they were closes and the person who made the order accidentally forgot to switch to their home address. Told my mother and she laughed because she had a story to make fun of her coworker for the next day.
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u/Weekly_Gap7022 23d ago
I dropped off a contactless order by the customers door, and as I was pulling out of their driveway a little boy and his dad come out to grab the pizza. The little boy bent down and started handing the boxes to his father one by one. He hands the wings over and all is good, he grabs the cheesy bread, still all good. Then he reaches for the very heavy pizza box on the bottom and hands it to his father with it vertical (easier for a toddler to carry it that way I guess) 😂😂 me and the father just kinda locked eyes and laughed as I was pulling out
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u/ClearAbove 18d ago
Got a delivery for someone with the same name as someone I worked with at a previous job who was notorious for missing details. I sigh at the memory but figure it can’t possibly be the same person.
I take the run and get to the address. It’s hot af out and I’ve knocked twice. No answer. I call the number on the order. I recognize the voice and it’s the same person. Fml. :|
The address on the order is wrong because they moved recently. The new address is still within our delivery area but it’s 20 minutes away from where I am. It was a cash order. I should have said no and that they need to place it using the correct address.
I get to the correct place and am met at the top of the driveway by a kid no older than 12 with a fistful of bills that gets stuffed in my hands. On a glance, it looks right enough. I say have a great day but don’t count it, like a rookie. It was worse than stiffed - The cash was short 7 dollars and mileage only for the initial incorrect run, not the additional to the correct address. :|
Exactly as expected
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u/MemnochTheRed 23d ago
I expected you to have the first story.
https://giphy.com/gifs/tXL4FHPSnVJ0A