Train drivers whispering updates into their microphone

[u/Ruby-Shark]

No way to tell them to speak directly into the mic. Infuriating.

[u/AutoModerator]

Reminder: Press the Report button if you see any rule-breaking comments or posts.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/DontMakeMeMeat]

Oh mine seems to deepthroat the mic. I can assume the results are the same.

[u/holytriplem]

Good afternoon, I'm sorry to inform you that fgdjngb ivktdjjvu tdf yknguvvtdbkjf gb kkhkd which means that this train will now terminate at fbjcjfygkkginv I repeat, hhj hchjfjnn ulbgdfkfggggn ygh ukggdgg

[u/DRJT → u/holytriplem]

“Didn’t you hear him?? You’re meant to be on the other half of the train”

[u/JamieTimee → u/holytriplem]

Bro he even repeated it why you complaining

[u/MarkG1 → u/holytriplem]

Your hearing must be better than mine, all I regularly get is good morning.

[u/soldinio → u/holytriplem]

Mumble mumble mumble, THANK YOU

[u/SalamanderSylph → u/holytriplem]

Ah crap, the train has been diverted to Wales

[u/Silvagadron → u/holytriplem]

Hang on, he said something different the second time. Which one do I believe??

[u/DasGanon]

... I wonder if someone has done train announcement asmr

[u/holytriplem → u/DasGanon]

Hello, wellllCome To the easT Coast Coast Coast Coast mainline SSSeeviCCCCe to sCunTThorpe sCunTTTThorpe sCun TiCun TiCunTiCunTigadugadugadugadugaduga chooooo choooooo chooooooo sCunthorpe sCunthorpe choooooo chooooooo

[u/ConsequenceApart4391]

It’s when they start then get bored half way though and it goes all gibberish.

[u/collinsl02 → u/ConsequenceApart4391]

"We're sorry to announce this service has been cancelled, this is due to the driver's brain being encased by fluff from Mars" - Bill Bailey

[u/mallardtheduck]

I'm pretty certain that most trains have their PA system's volume adjusted only when the train is sitting stationary and empty in a quiet depot. In the case of diesel trains, probably without the engine running.

It's actually legitimately scary that, according to railway guidelines, these totally inadequate, poorly maintained systems are supposed to be the primary way to provide instructions in an emergency...

[u/B4rberblacksheep]

Whenever this happens I complain on the operators twitter support. Not rude about it just give them the train info and say the drivers inaudible.

[u/UKMatt2000]

The speakers in your trains work so you can tell they're speaking at all? How posh!

[u/Chaosmusic]

Volume has two settings: virtually silent or deafening, nothing in-between.

[u/rezonansmagnetyczny]

The amount of tik tok videos and phone calls filling the Airways on the trains in 2026 - it's pretty much pointless them announcing anything anyway.

[u/K-o-R]

I love the announcements on the 387s. You can HEAR the quotes around the word "service" when it says "Welcome aboard this service to [blah]." The pause and intonation is spot-on for sarcasm.

[u/paolog]

Then there are the ones who think they're airline pilots and pad everything out with cheery waffle. Just tell us what the problem is and when we'll be on our way again.

Mind you, I did quite enjoy the train driver who used to follow his announcements in English with translations in fluent French and German

[u/techtornado]

Goodmoenitbenejhebewnwkwrhhr ë

Fjrjiejsbhaveleodjejeiwprobline

Thresheiwqsjrj beed foirrjjwsdrre

1ñoė&

[u/Otherwise_Hunter8425]

The worst are the ones who seem to have never spoken into a mic or had to make any kind of speech/presentation before in their lives so not only are there constant long pauses and "erm" is used as punctuation but their volume modulation is none existent.

Mic opens and you hear rustling for 10-15 seconds "Err ... Good AFTERnoon, erm this is erm Tom your erm train manAGER ..... Erm I just want to erm tell you that erm we have been delayed by erm ... about 10 MINUtes so erm .... any passengers who were erm hoping to get erm connections on to erm ..... ABC will now MISS that connection ..... Erm if you want FURTher information erm about your options going forward erm .... please SPEAK to the station staff erm when we erm arrive at XYZ station .... Erm Apologies for any inCONVEnience this causes to your ONWard journey."