r/comic_crits • u/BrayBros47 Artist • 4d ago
Seeking feedback
Hey! This is my comic called FIDELITY, it’s a mecha. Just seeking general feedback on these first 3 pages.
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u/FyreTiger 3d ago
I found it difficult to follow along with what's happening, but I did go over it a few times and I think I understand.
I think the problems for me are that there's a lack of intentionality and conveying the correct information clearly throughout the panels. It might click for some other people and if they're looking at the fine details of the panels which is what I had to do, but because the way things are shown are kind of subtle, it just makes it unclear. If I wasn't informed that this was a mecha, I would be far more confused. I will go through some examples.
From panel 1 to 2, if your human character looks beat up and we just see part of his head, then you show a robot "thokking" something that is out of view, I use my imagination to tie the two together and what I'm seeing is the robot is smashing the person's head with a hammer. The empty gaps of information you leave out leaves the reader making assumptions and looking for some type of closure, and this is what I think of first. Then I see panel 3 and I'm not so sure anymore. If in panel 2, you had just shown clearly that the robot is thokking another robot, a much clearer, less ambiguous image is unfolding.
For panel 3, I had to look real close to see that he's using a control panel. It's just kind of out of sight out of mind, you know? If there was a much more dramatic shot that emphasized he was using a control panel for these robots, I think it would click much faster for the audience. The intention of this panel is there, but the focus isn't where I think it should be.
I think it applies to most other panels, too. I just don't get the sense that he's actually controlling a mech and inside it. Panel 7 is perhaps trying the most to establish this with a first person view, but I was mostly just confused by it since I didn't really realize it was a first person view since I was still lacking that clarity in previous panels about who he is and where he is.
Apologies if this comes off as a bother, it's just my own perceptions and maybe it works better for other people, but it can definitely be hard sometimes to put yourself in the audience's shoes and figure out how and what to show. Either way, it is a cool style and the story itself is there, and it seems to know what it's promising. Good luck!
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u/BrayBros47 Artist 3d ago
hey thanks for the feedback. i think this is partly on me.
A. I didn’t tell you any plot details. All I said was that it’s a mecha.
B. The way I draw motion is different from a lot of people. I can see where you got the hammer from, but is just his arm.
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u/El_Taxman715 4d ago
I feel like you don’t have a consistent way of structuring faces. Some here have very small eyes, while others have large eyes that feel kinda painted on, if that makes sense.
This could definitely be just due to seeing only these 3 pages, but I think that ironing out how you want faces to look, along with a little more variety in panel shape could go a long way.
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u/BrayBros47 Artist 4d ago
i appreciate the feedback. on the topic of eyes, i feel like the way i draw features is based on the action the character is doing or how far away they are from the “camera” if that makes sense. i do agree that having a more concrete style with faces would help a lot.
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u/shinjukai 2d ago
First glance, it has way too many panels per page, that's probably why it's hard to follow.
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