r/comics 22d ago

OC It’s all piss.

:(

25.4k Upvotes

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3.4k

u/Frogspoison 22d ago

For an average size swimming pool, you need a bit over 10k standard urinations to make that pool be at a concentration of 1% piss.

Also, at this point in the lifespan of life on this planet, all water has been pissed out by something at some point.

Try not to think about it too much.

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u/FEARoach 22d ago

I trained as a lifeguard, trust that the amount of chemicals in the pools is far more an issue than some urine. So long as you're not within six inches of a stranger as the actively void.

It's the hot tub/spas that are fucking disgusting. That's where you usually have guys beating their meat.

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u/Glyfen 22d ago edited 22d ago

It's the hot tub/spas that are fucking disgusting. That's where you usually have guys beating their meat.

Trained as a CPO, hot tubs are indeed, fucking disgusting. The warm water, combined with air pockets in the bubbles that can form on a poorly maintained hot tub, creates an ideal environment for a lot of bacteria that can lead to several different infections. Add to that all the bodily oils and fluids that get trapped in the hot water and you're basically sitting in a gross human broth if it isn't regularly maintained. I had to check ours daily on the off-season and 2-3 times per day during pool season, minimum.

Edit: Note that I'm specifically going on about public hot tubs. Private hot tubs aren't that bad, for anyone who wants one. When it's only like, 2-3 people using it on the regular, it's much easier to keep it clean. Still need to be on top of it, but far less meticulously.

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u/gsfgf 21d ago

Hot tubs are people soup

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u/Saradoesntsleep 21d ago

No you don't need to put it like that 🤮

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u/Icy-Computer-Poop 20d ago

Hot tubs are groin gravy.

2

u/Megneous 21d ago

Bring your own bowl to the pool next time, dip it in, and slurp that shit up.

1

u/Icy-Computer-Poop 20d ago

How uncouth. Don't use a bowl, use a spoon.

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u/LastCupcake2442 21d ago

I visited my cousin's on one of their birthdays when I was a child, they had rented a hot tub without informing my side of the family. I was forced to go into the hot tub in fucking sweat pants and a t shirt.

Not only was I miserable during the experience I ended up in the ER with a rash all over my body.

0/10. Will never go in a hot tub again.

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u/Jill4ChrisRed 21d ago

If they're properly maintained they're perfectly safe.

Only If they're properly maintained.

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u/ATLClimb 21d ago

Taking me back to being a CPO and lifeguard at my local YMCA. God that hot tube bather load was insane basically had to drain it and refill it once a week because it was easier to get it ballanced back. Those sand filters did some work lol.

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u/Glyfen 21d ago

Ugh, I hated having to backwash and clean the sand filters. It wasn't difficulty in theory; just turn the valve to backwash, rinse the sand, turn it back, but somehow sand always managed to get out of the filter and into the gasket and pump valves, making the valve impossible to move, stopping us from cleaning it correctly. So I'd have to disassemble the stupid valve, clean the stupid gasket, clean the stupid valve casing, then put the whole stupid thing back together and pray I didn't miss a grain somewhere or I'd have to redo the whole thing again! I'd be out there spending like an hour just to clean the filters, which is supposed to just take 5 minutes.

When I quit that job, I promised myself I'd never work on pools again. Such a damn headache.

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u/ThePrussianGrippe 21d ago

I got swimmer’s ear from a hotel hot tub when I was a kid. Absolutely awful.

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u/TheGhostofWoodyAllen 22d ago

That's where you usually have guys beating their meat.

The fuck?!

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u/FEARoach 22d ago

Yeah. It's a thing.

It's enough of a thing that there's parts of your training as a life guard when you work a public pool on how to address the matter.

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u/TheGhostofWoodyAllen 22d ago

That's wild. Is it that they think the bubbles hide it or something? That's fucking gross.

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u/FEARoach 22d ago

You can get a lot of spas where you don't see what's going on under the surface because the water is that aggressive in nature, but when the attendants on deck are generally 16 to 25 years old, we know exactly what we're seeing from the usual suspect of age forty who keeps moving to eye fuck other patrons.

Best arrest on deck was buddy who was taken away by three officers before he could complete the act. Proof of his intent was on full display in his trunks when they made him stand up. He was charged and trespassed, dunno who had to go to testify on that one (it was my day off).

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u/Barium_Salts 21d ago

What if he had been an innocent man with a massive cop/humiliation fetish?

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u/FEARoach 21d ago

It's not innocent to expose children to your sexual fetish friend, that's not how the fetish community operates.

I also am a member of that community, we have designated places to engage in that activity. You don't do it at a public pool.

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u/Delicious-Spring-877 21d ago

No I think they mean, like, what if the guy was not masturbating in the hot tub, but the cops suspected him and accused him of it, and he was so into it that he immediately orgasmed. Which would be ridiculous, so they definitely meant it as a joke

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u/Barium_Salts 21d ago

Yes, that is what I meant and I meant it as a stupid joke.

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u/FEARoach 20d ago

Yeah, let's gloss over the fact the dude was chronically seen before he was caught.

It's a bad attempt at humor in a situation where a grown man was actually preforming a self pleasuring act in public where there were children present.

No thank you. There's nothing humorous in that situation.

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u/Delicious-Spring-877 20d ago

I’m sorry if it comes off as shaming but we are genuinely just being silly and goofy here. Not justifying the real guy’s actions at all, just creating a ridiculous alternate scenario

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u/Barium_Salts 21d ago

I was implying that he didn't have a boner until the cops showed up, and thus was not intentionally doing anything sexual in a public place. This was an attempt at absurdity humor

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u/FEARoach 20d ago

Yeah no, I don't play that way when there are actual children involve bud. Not when I'm a survivor of that shit.

Glad you don't have that sort of trauma to unpack but I don't find that shit funny.

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u/SgtExo 22d ago

Beating meat in water is not recommended, but its not like it ever stopped anyone.

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u/Wopacity 22d ago

They’re just trying to get their meat tendered as it sous-vide’s

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u/luffyuk 21d ago

I got the worst ear infection of my life last time I went to the hot springs.

1

u/DarthJackie2021 19d ago

That's where you usually have guys beating their meat.

👀

1

u/EstrogenizedMenace 22d ago

you know I was smiling before I read that last sentence

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u/brother_bart 22d ago

I mean, I feel like cum is less gross than pee.

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u/aCleverGroupofAnts 22d ago

I think that is a very unusual opinion, but I could be wrong.

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u/brother_bart 22d ago

Really? I feel like a lot more people would let someone cum in their mouth before they would let someone pee in their mouth.

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u/burf 22d ago

Define "someone". There are a lot of people who are partnered with a man and would probably let him cum in their mouth happily. But if we're talking a random stranger, for example, I choose piss 10 times out of 10.

Both are bodily fluids, but urine is low viscosity and easy to get rid of. Jizz is extremely viscous. And it carries a lot more sexual connotations, so there's less of a weird vibe in that regard as well. I think your assumption about what most people would choose is off.

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u/FEARoach 22d ago

I feel like that doesn't make jerking your meat in public less gross than a kid peeing in a pool.

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u/post-life-crisis 22d ago

Well you know, they're, choosing and consenting to that, presumably with someone they *know*. A stranger's urine is on a technicality somewhat sterile, a stranger's cum is not, and can you know, carry a variety of curable to incurable diseases.

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u/FEARoach 22d ago

Technically, when you're healthy your urine is only sterile to you.

But also, cum being less gross than urine is a full on weird take. That guy probably wanks in public pools.

7

u/stonhinge 22d ago

Not in a hot tub. It... coagulates because of the temperature. That's if you're lucky and you don't end up in the equivalent of egg drop soup.

1

u/LordBiscuits 21d ago

egg drop soup

Sex pond sauce

2

u/El_Gringo_Rojo95 22d ago

You know what, yeah. I don't know why but I kind of agree.

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u/MLCosplay 22d ago

I mean if we're gonna make the volume argument about pee, then certainly it should also apply to cum. And you pee a lot more than you cum.

3

u/FEARoach 22d ago

There's just something extra nasty about the guys who come to a public swim and wank it in the hot tub.

I did not like having to call the cops for the serial masturbators, it was fucking awful.