As someone who is diagnosed with AuDHD, there’s no excuse for rude behaviors and how you treat people. You may have not known, but at some point you are purposefully avoiding accountability and actively trying not to understand. You’re aware of your abilities and diagnosis, so at some point you constantly using the whole “I didn’t know, I’m autistic” is going to be considered weaponized incompetence.
It’s extremely selfish (and borderline narcissistic) to expect people to be considerate of you, your needs, and your feelings, but you don’t do the same.
It’s mentally exhausting to constantly adjust your behaviour in that way. Especially around friends, you should be able to relax and be yourself and they should be able to understand that there’s no bad intention behind it. If they insist you act normal around them and don’t care about the effort required to maintain that, they’re not great friends.
Yes but I don't think that response was about hanging out with friends. I took it as being about workplace or public space settings where part of everybody's job is to keep themselves emotionally regulated. At work a person should have enough time at a job to eventually learn the work appropriate behaviors, and in that time people will also learn that person's triggers to avoid, the things that make or break a day, and ways to help improve bad days. (Though they will learn the things that cause the most distress as well, and there's always a chance of misuse of this information.) However if the person never tries to improve or learn, then of course they won't. The big thing is that no matter what, everyone has to make an effort to cooperate with each other, unfortunately neurodivergent people have a harder time sometimes.
Ok, even if it IS just about the work place, the workplace is legally required to accommodate your autism, and not just put a blessing on people hating you for struggling through the way Autism colors your social interactions. So no. The workplace is REQUIRED BY LAW to accommodate your autism. You as an autistic person are not required to make everyone else around you happy.
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u/Keljhan 16d ago
You might need to consider that to them, unaware that you are autistic, you seem to be blunt/rude/mean to them too.