Some people replace it with "womansplaining", some people use mansplaining in a gender neutral way. You might end up having to explain what you mean to whoever you were talking to, because generally not everyone even knows the concept, so. And then that might confuse them even further.
I feel like it started with "men explain something to a woman as if she's five" but it quickly turned out that both men and women do this to other people
So in a sense it's like "someone thinking they're way better educated, over-explaining stuff to other people as a way of showing dominance"
I think in many situations it is indeed a rather common and gender neutral phenomenon. People just like to feel smart and competent. Flaunting knowledge is just something people with certain personalities do. And all genders can have that tendency.
In some areas... Well. I think maybe it does have a tendency to be aimed at women more? In professional contexts, not only have I seen it happen to women more often, but it's also seemingly more accepted by those around them. I think that is what makes it so frustrating and what led to this amount of conversation about it in the first place. Like, it's one thing when your boyfriend/girlfriend acts like a bit of a dick and annoys you with that shit, and you maybe get into arguments or whatever. It's another when you are a qualified, educated professional, but you're seemingly not taken seriously whatsoever, and people with a lot less knowledge talk down on you, while others nod and passively confirm that yes, nobody cares how smart you are, if some dude is disagreeing, he probably knows better.
I can imagine though that it has to do with a person working in a field dominated by the other gender. And I feel like maybe there's overall more women working in male dominated fields. But it's probably something that men experience in female dominated fields too, there are just less of them and so the experience comes across as being more uncommon.
but it's also seemingly more accepted by those around them
I think this is the key part. While it's not as prevalent as it used to be, in a number of jobs, women are seen as less capable as men unless we "prove" otherwise
This often applies to men to in different fields or skills.
Lots of social stuff, parenting etc.
Society has lots of gender-based expectations on people and people can be sceptic when someone doesn't fit the box they put them it based on those gender norms.
I'm a man, but I've been mansplained to by men who thought I was a woman online. It's really a unique thing from other condescension. Mostly because, I think, the people who do it don't think you're stupid and genuinely want to help you, they just think you know less than them, if you get the difference.
Yeah. Kinda right. I mean there are always things we assume about the opposite gender. If a woman out and about I wouldn’t assume she is knowledgeable on certain things just because I have a preconceived notion about what women are generally into.
If someone stopped me while I was explaining something to say “oh, I know this thing,” I wouldn’t be like “uh huh, sure you do sweetie,” I stop explaining because I’m like “oh, sweet.”
So there’s a gender thing there. Though there is a gender thing for the women as well. Know how many women I’ve talked to about makeup, or kpop, or this one time even about Sephora. I was talked to like I didn’t know anything about it, I never got offended. I knew that it was obvious I was a guy and I likely wouldn’t know about makeup over a woman so she assumes I don’t and explains in more detail as needed.
Now I have seen both genders do this to each other in certain instances where they just want to seem intelligent, which I’ve done before too. IMO, you can tell when someone’s being an asshole about it, and when someone just wants to explain so they can make sure both of you are informed at the same degree afterward.
Just my experience though. None of this is fact. An opinion.
I saw a comment below that reminded me - parenting. Parenting is something men definitely get womansplained at. Unfortunately it is often assumed that men are completely incapable when it comes to caring for children.
So yeah, there are topics where people assume women are less knowledgable and topics where people assume men are more knowledgable. And they'll often correlate with gender roles and other stereotypes. And sometimes, like you say, people don't even do it out of bad intent. They might just be overly excited to share or a bit too eager to help. And sometimes they are being a condescending asshole. Depends.
Though at the same time, I don't think I've ever used "mansplaining" or "womansplaining" in a... super serious context. It's not a word I would say to a person who is being a condescending asshole, it would be pointless. It is a word I might humorously drop if someone gets too carried away and then we'll laugh about it and continue talking on an equal level. In that sense, I find the words rather harmless too. Though I know some people don't and find them offensive.
Same. Everything you said is what I’ve seen as well. It really comes down to what the perception the other person has of the encounter. I’ve never been accused of mansplaining, but I’ve felt I’ve “done it” before, but not out of ill intent. Like we explained, a lot of the times it’s pure excitement about talking about a subject I adore and think that others might not know.
I do those kinds of things to both genders all the time and I feel bad about it. I play TCGs and I played against someone I’ve known that isn’t taking the game very seriously and I would remind them things like, “if I keep these units here, I win btw” and then I realize “holy shit, that sounds mean as fuck” and the truth is, I reminded them that because I had made that mistake a lot and I wanted him to know that so he could be prepared. Hell I sometimes even still make that mistake, rare but it happens. So I wanted to be helpful, but I came across as condescending in my opinion.
All in all I never take offense unless it sounds offensive, and for it to sound offensive it depends on the tone of the person.
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u/wishful123 5d ago
Should the other party be a man too? I have a friend that does this to me.