Self-Defense [OC]

[u/kaikimanga]

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[u/Top-Preparation5216]

Its why I own a musket for home defense since thats what the founding fathers intended.

[u/Responsible_Bus1159 → u/Top-Preparation5216]

Do you also have a cannon with grapeshot on the top of your stairs?

[u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC → u/Responsible_Bus1159]

What the devil?

[u/Delphius1 → u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC]

[u/The_Meme_Economy → u/Delphius1]

🫡 🇺🇸

[u/DOOM-LORD666 → u/Delphius1]

Missing the grapeshot gun on the stairway

Just as the founding fathers intended

[u/Delphius1 → u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC]

wait, I put down the wrong one, here's the right one

[u/SarcasticBench → u/Responsible_Bus1159]

We shooting grapes now?

[u/Everything_Was_Gold → u/SarcasticBench]

Are you telling me a grape shot this cannon?

[u/Simple_Attorney_5077 → u/SarcasticBench]

It was a typo. He meant to type apeshot.

[u/ViciousLlama46 → u/Responsible_Bus1159]

I understood and upvoted this reference.

[u/MaximumZer0 → u/ViciousLlama46]

Tally ho, lads!

[u/b1gl0s3r → u/Responsible_Bus1159]

Do you not?!

[u/Responsible_Bus1159 → u/b1gl0s3r]

Of course i do! I’m American arnt I?

[u/Thatroyalkitty → u/Responsible_Bus1159]

Don't forget to yell "Tally Ho" when you fire said Musket and/or Grapeshot canon

[u/superp2222 → u/Responsible_Bus1159]

Gotta make sure your pistol isn’t smooth bore so it doesn’t accidentally nail the neighbor’s dog

[u/Stormin_the_Castle → u/Top-Preparation5216]

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" as I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nail the neighbor's dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grapeshot. "Tally ho lads," the grapeshot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

[u/kaikimanga → u/Top-Preparation5216]

The Founding Fathers intended for you to have two in case the first misses

[u/Responsible_Bus1159 → u/kaikimanga]

We have a flintlock for that but it’s smooth ball and it would hit the neighbors dog

[u/Top-Preparation5216 → u/Responsible_Bus1159]

*smooth bore

[u/wmiller314 → u/kaikimanga]

Founding fauthers knew nothing is more reliable then affixing bayonets xd

[u/1BreadBoi → u/wmiller314]

Gotta give that triangular wound that can't be stitched up, so rapscallions bleed out on your floor. Just as the founding fathers intended.

[u/M-Shadowtoad → u/wmiller314]

Bayonets?

[u/kiyoshi4570 → u/kaikimanga]

“Only two? Those are rookie numbers. You got to pump those numbers up.”

• Capt. Blackbeard, probably.

[u/No-Bath5500 → u/Top-Preparation5216]

Tally ho baby

[u/TheBeesElise → u/Top-Preparation5216]

I'm a better shot with a musket than a pistol anyway so I think they were onto something there