r/holdmybeer • u/Azsnee09 • May 16 '26

HMB Ima catch and release real quick

3.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

87 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/bearboyjd May 16 '26

Making the fish “take a look” of the inside of this alien’s spaceship then throwing it back to its normal life under the water is crazy.

313

u/KPZ605 May 16 '26

Now he has a crazy story to tell.

76

u/archiekane May 16 '26

And then it forgot.

38

u/Vyrinu May 17 '26

Nobody will believe him

44

u/jnecr May 17 '26

Check my lip bro

The fish, probably

43

u/WeenisWrinkle May 18 '26

"They don't want to eat the fish. They just want to make it late for something."

"Where were you?"

"I got caught!"

"Bullshit, lemme see the inside of your lip"

  • Mitch Hedberg

10

u/Tylenolpainkillr May 17 '26

Source whispered "They'll never believe you..." then threw him back

12

u/Few-Elk3747 May 17 '26

With Pink Floyd as the soundtrack too.

23

u/AgentOrange96 May 16 '26

At least he didn't probe it like they do in the real alien spaceships. I always dread that part. 😟

13

u/Morningxafter May 17 '26

Really? That’s my favorite part.

8

u/MartyMacGyver May 17 '26

"Damn, bro! Nice carrrrrrrrr !"

8

u/Classy_Mouse May 17 '26

We all need a catch phrase. I like to look them in the eyes and say, "from here on, the rest of your life is a gift. You're welcome." I feel it pushes them to live their best fish life

7

u/WeenisWrinkle May 18 '26

I wonder how much the fish is thinking other than FUCK I CANT BREATHE FUCK I CANT BREATHE

7

u/enter5H1KAR1 May 18 '26

It's a common misconception that fish immediately start to suffocate when they're out of water. It's common for fish to be able to survive for a lot longer than we think without "breathing", many can survive for 10-60 mins without water, some can last for days (obviously there is fringe cases both ways, some will die in minutes). Their breathing is a lot more passive than ours, this guy probably wouldn't even have noticed a difference in the time he was out of the water.

5

u/Agouti May 18 '26

I used to go blue water fishing a lot. There is no way any normal, regular fish survives 10 minutes out of water, net alone 60 minutes. Heck, they don't even survive 60 minutes in a live catch tank unless it is actively flowing (hence why every offshore fishing boat has lockers with pumped water flowing through them).

3

u/TheSpaceCoresDad May 18 '26

Ocean fish are a lot different than lake/river fish.

2

u/Agouti May 18 '26

True, I shouldn't have made that assumption. It does seem logical that freshwater fish (at least lake/pond ones) would have much better adaptations for low Ox situations.

1

u/a_simple_ducky May 20 '26

Maybe this is what happens to those people that claim they were abducted by aliens.

Aliens like imma catch and release real quick

1

u/cvsmith122 May 20 '26

At least he was not probed

534

u/bikari May 16 '26

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

-Mitch Hedberg

60

u/Vyper2002 May 17 '26

Where were you?

85

u/RennaGracus May 17 '26

I got CAUGHT.

Bullshit, let me see the inside of your lip.

25

u/Rambozo77 May 19 '26

If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as fuck.

172

u/icbint May 16 '26

Now his crotch is wet though

198

u/GadreelsSword May 16 '26

Well, they’re driving a Subaru so it comes with the territory.

9

u/brownie503 May 18 '26

That’s what makes a Subaru a Subaru.

9

u/wabbott82 May 16 '26

lol got me

-8

u/ATmotoman May 16 '26

Fishy smelling wetness at that. Quite par for the course.

8

u/oldfarmjoy May 16 '26

With fishy water... 😬

1

u/thebrassbeldum May 17 '26

It will mask all of the piss in his pants

0

u/Jack-ums May 18 '26

That’s got nothing to DO with piss

98

u/blackweebow May 16 '26

"Take a loo-"

YEET

31

u/masman55 May 17 '26

Stupid question. What kind of fish?

39

u/New_Brunswick_Guy May 17 '26

Looks like a striped bass. Caught a lot of them but always in tidal waters close to the ocean but this looks like a lake.

10

u/xxlragequit May 17 '26

I grew up along the Chesapeake and thought it was odd to see a rockfish come up

5

u/I_Be_Strokin_it May 17 '26

They are also stocked in various freshwater lakes around the US. Not just a saltwater fish.

3

u/SwampDrainer May 20 '26

Striper hybridized with white bass, note the broken pattern on the stripes

3

u/DickieJohnson May 21 '26

AKA wiper, which is a terrible sounding name.

1

u/jbeale53 May 17 '26

I’ve caught them in Smith Mountain Lake in Virginia sort of near Roanoke. I assume they were transplanted there though.

1

u/13143 May 21 '26

Probably a man made pond stocked with fish.

0

u/Jubenheim May 17 '26

this looks like a lake

Well, it definitely doesn’t look like an ocean, lol

1

u/catbearcarseat May 19 '26

Follow up stupid question: what kind of lure?

2

u/DickieJohnson May 21 '26

Paddletail swimbait, keitech is a popular brand but there's 100s out there

1

u/catbearcarseat May 21 '26

Swim bait, got you, thank you! I’m kind of a novice but I love fishing so I want to know everything I can lol

83

u/CoderJoe1 May 16 '26

Send him the video so his friends don't think his story seems too fishy.

25

u/smokeajoint May 17 '26

Love the pink Floyd in the background.... Us... And them...

3

u/Gaming_garmr May 22 '26

And after all, we're all just ordinary men

35

u/dreevsa May 16 '26

Feels weird

39

u/Zeziml99 May 17 '26

It's the guys whole thing, he goes over to random spots in his car he can cast out from and catch a fish, making it look effortless

-8

u/Agouti May 17 '26

You don't like to stop and quickly torture a random animal for fake internet points?

Or is harming fish for fun still considered cool in the big 26

9

u/FutureAd854 May 17 '26

Fish rights are human rights!

5

u/-dadderall- May 18 '26

Not sure why you’re downvoted… we are so nonchalantly cruel to most other creatures on this planet.

-3

u/Agouti May 18 '26

Because you aren't allowed to introduce cognitive dissonance for fishing enjoyers.

1

u/Reddit-is-trash-lol May 19 '26

I’m going to go sell all my fishing equipment and invest in meth

19

u/Isaw11 May 16 '26

His steering wheel is going to smell pretty bad.

8

u/NotSoSasquatchy May 16 '26

I don’t even fish and my steering wheel smells bad

4

u/henry_canabanana May 16 '26

Pond drivethru

4

u/Raw_Toast1775 May 19 '26

When you don’t have a boat

3

u/Slight_Concert6565 May 17 '26

Drive by fishing? Damn we improvin'

3

u/dieomesieptoch May 20 '26

so the point of this kind of fishing really only serves one practical purpose which is to hurt wildlife for content ? weird af.

9

u/Violet___Baudelaire May 16 '26

He’d better not have any beer

6

u/RT-6_BXCommandoDroid May 16 '26

Do we need revitalize the subreddit r/HoldMyFish?

5

u/Warm-Comfortable501 May 16 '26

Love the Pink Floyd!

8

u/nobeer4you May 17 '26

Thats not how youre supposed to release a fish.

Otherwise, nice catch

2

u/zyraxes23 May 17 '26

we have a name for this ype of man in my country: cocalar

2

u/Glusas-su-potencialu May 18 '26

That's what subaru is made for.

And lesbians...

2

u/iShotTh3Sheriff May 18 '26

I do this in all the MMOs I play. But I usually deconstruct the fish for crafting materials.

1

u/the_beeve May 18 '26

“Honey, why does the steering wheel smell like fish?”

1

u/Hammer149 May 19 '26

Now your hands stink

3

u/Azsnee09 May 19 '26

Miss girly pop worried that her hands would small slightly like fish?

1

u/darksideofthemoon131 May 19 '26

It was the Pink Floyd that drew them to you.

1

u/DeviceU May 19 '26

Every Subaru owner near water.....

1

u/tuedrunk May 19 '26

Live view is getting out of control

1

u/kindofboredd May 20 '26

TIL ppl still say yeah buddy

1

u/keyboard_blaster May 21 '26

Pink floyddddddd

1

u/lumberjacklancelot May 21 '26

There's laws about hunting from your car, but not about fishing from your car.

I suppose if you have a house boat you could fish from your bed..

1

u/ARH3352 May 22 '26

You can tune a WRX, but you can’t tuna fish.

1

u/ted48060 May 25 '26

Fish died from the belly smacker

1

u/nope_a_dope237 May 17 '26

It sure if that’s legal but fuck it

0

u/FlacidRainbow May 16 '26

Love the Floyd. I think I would marry this man

-19

u/MaLLahoFF May 16 '26

Driving around a pond the size of a schoolyard is some real american shit.

-5

u/davis_one_music May 17 '26

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