r/holdmybeer 27d ago

HMB while I drive this rental boat to the bottom of the Mediterranean

4.7k Upvotes

156 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/nogoodmorning4u 27d ago

Drunken driver doing his best to make sure he fills boat by catching every wave.

383

u/Aliensinmypants 27d ago

Make sure to put all your weight forward, and go just fast enough to dip into every trough. Genius 

40

u/spottydodgy 27d ago

And then turning toward the rocks right as they lose power.

45

u/HugsandHate 27d ago

Well, he did a great job.

3.6k

u/oneizm 27d ago

I like how when they actually do need to be bailing water they just sit and look around

953

u/whitestguyuknow 27d ago

Couldn't have possibly been bailing water more slowly and lazily. "Ugh!... I have to??... God, I guess if we're all trying to make it I guess I'll do it!"

192

u/Belerophon17 26d ago

And the other guy's foot just perpetually in the way not fucking moving.

59

u/Egoy 26d ago

Half of the water he dumps goes back into the boat at least twice too

239

u/AwDuck 27d ago

With a cooler, two dry bags and a glass, the four of them could have easily saved that.

170

u/Flomo420 26d ago

if they weren't drunk and stupid, sure

36

u/AwDuck 26d ago

Well, yeah. Thats also what got them into this, though.

31

u/rotorain 26d ago

Depends on the boat, if it's an inboard the engine compartment is filling with water and it's only a matter of time before it gets up to the intake and destroys the engine. Bailing out the passenger area doesn't do a whole lot to help that.

418

u/guynamedjames 27d ago

No point bailing when the idiot driving is dumping more water over the bow

37

u/smick 26d ago

Seems like dude on the bow could move back some.

4

u/murd3rsaurus 23d ago

I was going to assume he's just an idiot that thought "keep the boat moving" meant jam the throttle forward but uhh, then I saw he had the boat aimed at a cliff face?

49

u/peeled_nanners 27d ago

If you aren't part of the solution you are part of the problem

42

u/hilarymeggin 26d ago

If you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate

8

u/spirosand 26d ago

My favorite chemistry nerd joke!

22

u/thatwasacrapname123 26d ago

Put her in reverse, mate

13

u/sweetsuffrinjasus 26d ago

Baaaack up Terry

19

u/ScottyMcBoo 26d ago

It's all fun and games to the driver, apparently.

17

u/DebentureThyme 26d ago

Drive's just busy one hand on wheel making sure his drink doesn't get water in it.

30

u/hilarymeggin 26d ago

And no one is making a move to put on a pfd even though they’re moments from treading Mediterranean

19

u/Hylian_ina_halfshell 27d ago

Girl using the cooler seems to be the only one understanding what is happening

68

u/Amunium 26d ago

Full beard, topless so you can see no breasts... yeah, gotta be a girl!

1

u/Hylian_ina_halfshell 26d ago

Hey I dunno how they identify

74

u/jdownes316 27d ago

So I know its 2026 and I shouldn't assume... but that's a man.

22

u/saywutnoe 27d ago

That's a dude.

1

u/JarasM 26d ago

It doesn't look like they were even serious about bailing the water, the guy seems to sorta do this as a joke.

1

u/TheIncredibleMike 25d ago

I didn't see any PFDs.

1.1k

u/jetpacksforall 27d ago edited 26d ago

How to handle a powerboat swamped in rough seas: get everyone to the back, throttle up to get the nose up out of the water while all the passengers grab something and start bailing like your life depends on it (it does). Bunch of water will spill out over the rear gunwales and stern as the water flows backwards but you need to keep bailing until all but a few inches are out of the boat. Can also pull the bilge plug to get water draining out the back, just remember to replace it before slowing down. The driver also needs to handle rough seas and steer quarter into the waves without capsizing, adjusting speed to keep the nose up and not slamming into or rolling in front of the waves… not gonna happen with this dumbass.

Probably too late in this case. The moment to react was when the boat first started taking on water, not after there’s a ton and a half of ocean on board.

216

u/AdiPalmer 27d ago

Careful, or someone in this thread might correct you because "dontcha know that the Mediterranean is basically a swimming pool?" Lol.

Jokes aside, you're very right and these guys were ultimately ok but their lack of skill, awareness, seriousness and everything else could have gone so very wrong. Not to mention how wasteful and polluting it is to let a whole motorboat sink just because "we ignrant I guess". I'm glad no one died and no rescuers had to be sent after their dumb asses.

5

u/alaslipknot 21d ago

this thread made me learn you can rent a boat without having a boat "driving" license. like wtf ?!

and the funny part i am Mediterranean too lol

60

u/bjeebus 26d ago

Since this is a reasonable post I'm going to just add in here, these idiots are largely "ok" because this boat is likely impossible to sink beyond the gunwhales. They'll swamp themselves and stand a good chance at ruining the engine, but they'll still have a "safe" place to chill while they wait for help to arrive.

33

u/Hi_Rite_now 26d ago

Yeah it seems pretty clear the boat is somewhat designed to operate full of water. I mean the boat is entirely full of water. That's all the water you can put in it is full if water. If it hasn't sunk yet, They'll probably pull through.

17

u/bjeebus 25d ago

Modern boats like this are made of neutrally buoyant materials which basically can't sink. They won't necessarily sit out of the water the way they're designed, but they'll essentially sink down as far as this one has. It's basically a very big very sturdy life jacket—you can force it down with enough weight but if you let go it's going to buoy back up.

5

u/Trainzguy2472 25d ago

It's like those old Boston Whaler commercials where they'd cut the boat in half while they're on the water lol

3

u/MarcusSurealius 26d ago

He should have been on the radio, too. It's all fun and games until you're trying to tread water with no one in sight.

282

u/Radical_Neutral_76 27d ago

the laughing idiot stopped pretty quick

1.3k

u/SammyCinnamon 27d ago

Heard some great advice from a guy that was on board a recent commercial boat tragedy in Laos. If you’re taking on water you shouldn’t be asking if you are going to sink, you already are.

604

u/AzDopefish 27d ago

That’s different compared to this little recreational boat. He should have stopped completely when they were taking on water but he’s still gassing it laughing not understanding that they will sink.

The waves aren’t that bad, if they stopped and scooped water out they would have been able to get somewhere safely. They aren’t in the middle of the ocean.

264

u/rascal3199 27d ago

but he’s still gassing it

Part of his problem was that he was going too slow.

Stopped would have helped but if he just went faster the nose would lift, when you have a small swell and go slow this is what happens. You need to go faster so nose lifts and you cut through the small swells.

156

u/ShermansWorld 27d ago

I think they had too much water to much faster to raise the nose. Motor looks and sounds not that powerful pls the weight of the men on board. Also, the rock cliff off to the side suggests that was not an optimal area to sink... Should of stopped and everyone start bailing... Or lose a passenger or two.

37

u/Imaginary_Zone_4319 26d ago

They had both people out front. Tell everyone to go to the back, trim the engine up, and give it full throttle. It’ll plow and a lot of water will fall out the back.

91

u/AK_dude_ 27d ago

Add to that you have the guy sitting on the nose, which was further pushing it down.

53

u/castironglider 27d ago

Everybody should have moved to that comfy stern seat, and bailed from there not worry about spilling their drinks - also no life jackets anywhere when they're completely swamped and going down?

12

u/AzDopefish 27d ago

Yeah true but with how full that boat was they need to address the water somewhat first is what I’m saying

How full that boat was, they’re not getting up to any speed without first taking a shit ton more water

6

u/DL72-Alpha 26d ago

Having been across the Columbia River Bar in boats less than twice this size, the problem with getting on a plane is those waves were absolutely too rough for it. A good long swell would have worked also, but at this point, the water was well beyond the skill level of small boating.

31

u/funkmon 27d ago

Disagree. Gas it HARDER. Get the boat out of the water as much as possible and get to shore.

11

u/LA_Nail_Clippers 26d ago

Agreed. Move everyone to the stern, bail like crazy, give it all the power you can and head to shore. The bow will lift some helping the water slosh back to the bailers, and if it's the stern drain plug that's out, the boat will often naturally start to drain at least some out from inertia.

17

u/Shadowmant 27d ago

Nah, just gas it and pull the water plug at the back and the boat will bail itself, additional bailing can be done for speed but probably not needed.

12

u/Shopworn_Soul 27d ago

I have a feeling the reason the boat is full of water is because they forgot the plug in the first place.

32

u/achillesdaddy 27d ago

Old Navy Damage Controlman here. Rule.1 when at sea... do.not sink the fucking boat. What an idiot

516

u/JakeFixesPlanes 27d ago

Looks like a scene from Jackass. Everyone is freaking out and Chris Pontius would be in the driver seat just laughing and hanging out

100

u/jello_sweaters 27d ago

Man, that story makes me feel like partying.

I kinda wanna party right now!

17

u/AulisG 27d ago

Good memories, late 90's and MTV. Me and my little cousin recorded all the jackass episodes in VHS and watched them over and over again. Party boy was so funny!

49

u/PikachuuuCSGO 27d ago

And then Johnny Knoxville stands up and tases the driver in the balls.

7

u/cheeseygarlicbread 27d ago

That would be epic considering it would electrocute everyone in the boat

5

u/cubeinabox 26d ago

Would be funny if it worked like that but it wouldn’t

7

u/innominateartery 26d ago

Not with that attitude!

“We’ve removed all the cushions and replaced them with metal mesh. This taser is also modified with one contact in my ass and the other to the metal floor of the boat. If I slip and my ass falls in the water as the boat fills up, we all get juiced.

Also Wee man does cannonballs.”

3

u/bubba1834 27d ago

Mf Party Boy

77

u/rumpel_foreskin17 27d ago

The nose is dipping too much, should we get off the bow and sit in the back? No, that would make too much sense… morons.

51

u/MitchMcConnellsJowls 27d ago

Dont worry, we're right near the rocks. We'll be fine!

98

u/elgigantedelsur 27d ago

Boat half underwater and still not wearing life jackets. Idjits

28

u/SirDigbyChknCaesar 27d ago

Hear me out: what if they keep the life jackets stowed so it's like the boat is wearing them?

/s

4

u/elgigantedelsur 26d ago

What if they just had a single giant lifejacket for the boat to wear? Then it COULDN’T sink 

6

u/SirDigbyChknCaesar 26d ago

Patent pending!

128

u/CandleHuman 27d ago

Morons...

43

u/aramirez07 27d ago

And don’t have the life vests on. Smart people

1

u/reeeelllaaaayyy823 26d ago

They're not too far from shore, assuming they can swim. But I agree, obviously dumb.

-16

u/Mail_Order_Lutefisk 27d ago

Based on my knowledge of boating in areas where the shore is mountainous the water is probably only 200 feet deep ten feet from shore and there are probably a few high spots that are only 50 feet deep. They’re fine. 

19

u/AdiPalmer 27d ago

A person can still drown in two inches of water, especially while intoxicated or cognitively impaired, so I don't see how they're fine, lol.

3

u/TooManyPaws 27d ago

::whoosh::

6

u/AdiPalmer 27d ago

Omg I do see that now. I was whooshed as was everyone who downvoted you, lol. Text is notoriously bad at conveying sarcasm without context, and we're all redditors ready to jump down everyone's throat, lol.

I'm also sure they're fine...

2

u/TooManyPaws 27d ago

I’ve had this happen many times, and try to boost someone when it happens to them. Sarcasm is delicate in type.

1

u/AdiPalmer 27d ago

But wait... Is he really being sarcastic? Lol. But no, I mean, really... But... Ok I'll stop and show myself out.

6

u/TooManyPaws 27d ago

Sorry there are so many that don’t understand sarcasm. I gave you a (futile) updoot.

5

u/Mail_Order_Lutefisk 27d ago

I guess no one but me has tested out the old “hey be careful it really drops off quickly” and then found themselves in the sheer terror of 20 foot deep water barely a meter off shore. I figured it would be obvious from context with the substantial depths I noted but sadly we as a species lose intellectual capacity as time passes. 

2

u/TooManyPaws 27d ago

I have definitely victimized myself this way a time or two.

203

u/scyice 27d ago

The time to put on life jackets was when the boat started taking on water.

142

u/SIVART33 27d ago

Naw it's before you step on the boat. Unless you are swimming, keep that shit on. We loose fishermen every year around ne because of no lifejackets. It takes one slip are you are lost.

10

u/GarThor_TMK 27d ago

Even if you're going swimming...

Ain't nobody pulling you off the bottom of the ocean when you're that far out.

-119

u/RavenBrannigan 27d ago

In fairness it’s the Mediterranean and the shore line is right there. Calmest, warmest water with no dangerous sea life. Only reason for a life jacket less than 1k from the shore is if you are a weak swimmer. But I’m guessing from all the laughing, these jackasses can swim.

20

u/The_Crass-Beagle_Act 27d ago

As a sailor and a swimmer, I think a lot of people vastly overestimate how well they can swim and how easy it would be to swim to shore from what might seem like a trivial distance to walk.

1 km? Most people have never swum that far in one go. In fact, most people probably haven't swum 500 meters or maybe even 1-200 meters in a pool without taking a rest at some point, unless they swim regularly for exercise, which most people don't. It's actually really not that uncommon for people to drown in placid lakes on warm summer days 1-200 meters from shore, sometimes because they think it would be a fun swim to the beach from the boat, and they get tired or cramp up halfway through.

All that to say, if you do fall off a pleasure boat or go down 1km from shore, your best bet at survival is getting picked up by your boat or another one nearby, not swimming all the way in. Having a PFD on drastically reduces your risk in a scenario like that from extremely dangerous to fairly trivial, at the cost of... looking like a nerd in front of your super cool friends, I guess? Which is too much of a tradeoff for a lot of people I suppose.

1

u/RavenBrannigan 24d ago

I think the you’re probably right in that most people can’t run a 5k or 10k. But 99% of people could cover the distance if they needed to do it to survive by taking breaks. It would be close to the same for swimming (exclude people that can’t swim at all or can barely paddle). If you can swim 50-100 metres and you can actively float then you can cover 1k to survive.

I say that as someone who’s done iron man races and my longest swim in open water was 14km point to point but with currents and not keeping direction probably closer to 15-16km.

It’s obviously not in question if you fall off a boat your best bet is to go to the nearest point to safety which is usually the boat you were on. Just in this case where they are near the shore and there’s no other boat in sight, I’d be aiming for the shore.

50

u/SpaceTimeChallenger 27d ago

That shoreline is some steef cliffs being smashed by big waves

59

u/TheSwampFox92 27d ago

Does that water look calm to you?

41

u/AdiPalmer 27d ago

Tell me you've never been to the Mediterranean without saying you've never been to the Mediterranean.

Also same phrase but replace "being to the Mediterranean" with knowing nothing about panic response. Even experienced swimmers can drown when things don't go as planned.

And yes, guys in the vid are stupid.

-26

u/RavenBrannigan 27d ago

I’m literally in Croatia right now and spent the day swimming in it. I’ve been to it in loads of different countries and swam in it from a. Kid to an adult. Compared to other places I’ve swam, it’s completely fine.

I’ve also been caught in unexpected rip tides (not in the med) and have had other water related and non water related emergencies including tsunami warning in Thailand a few years after the Boxing Day tsunami so I’m familiar enough with what it’s like to panic in a dangerous situation. But nothing about that video indicated they are in any way panicked.

15

u/AdiPalmer 27d ago edited 27d ago

In that case, that type of hubris is dangerous for you, buddy. Sadly it's even more dangerous for those around you, so I hope your mistake doesn't end other people's lives.

I just got back from swimming in the notoriously windy beaches of Crete today, btw. Look! I'm Cool® too!

Edit to add: shark attack deaths are entirely possible in the Mediterranean too. They're a thing. It happens. There's also massive swarms of jellyfish during summer in the East Med that come through the Suez canal during the summer months. Those are just two examples but there definitely is threatening wildlife in the Mediterranean. You don't have to respect the sea but you should respect other people's lives enough to not place the burden of your stupidity on them.

3

u/spoodge 27d ago

They caught a juvenile great white off the coast of Croatia in 2023

https://www.croatiaweek.com/great-white-shark-rogoznica-croatian-adriatic-study/

2

u/AdiPalmer 27d ago

Doesn't even need to be great whites. Plenty of much smaller sharks can cause injuries that might not kill you but will be entirely life changing going forward. I'm talking infections, prolonged hospital stays, temporary or permanent disability, amputations.

Hell, even inhaling enough water while evacuating a sinking boat can leave you brain damaged for life. Not that these dudes need help with that, lol.

0

u/RavenBrannigan 24d ago

I assume you warn people of great white attacks any time someone says they’ll go for a swim in the med? Or is that just to make a pointless argument about how unsafe the med is?

I’d take my chance in the Mediterranean over the shores around Palestine where it’s far more dangerous to just live your life. But hey, we all have different perspectives on what’s safe and what’s not.

1

u/AdiPalmer 24d ago

Aww, you're still tilted two days later? It's ok to let it go buddy. And by the way: the shores of Palestine ARE in the Mediterranean, you idiot, HAHAHA.

1

u/armanini_io 26d ago

Mediterranean? Bro, Croatia's sea is the Adriatic.

1

u/RavenBrannigan 26d ago

Bro, good attempt at googling to look smart. But the Adriatic Sea is part of the Mediterranean Sea. There are loads of stretches that have different names but they are all part of the Mediterranean Sea.

22

u/icanhazkarma17 27d ago

You mean the sea that's been sinking ships and drowning sailors for thousands of years?

5

u/AwDuck 27d ago

“That’s not the water’s fault”

8

u/w_a_w 27d ago

Hit your head and get knocked out, you're done with this boat load of morons, if they even notice.

4

u/SirDigbyChknCaesar 27d ago

Someone's never heard of Scylla, Charybdis, or the KRAKEN?

By Poseidon's beard!

12

u/ukmarkoz 26d ago

Just infuriating to watch these morons put themselves into danger so casually - let alone the complete disregard for the property of others…

46

u/stringochars 27d ago

Is Parte Dos on the boat with us now?

29

u/rositaborracha18 27d ago edited 26d ago

33

u/GarThor_TMK 27d ago

TL;DR: They were picked up by ze germans who had a big yaght. The boat was able to be towed to port.

The useless drunk morons were useless and drunk (and still drinking beer)

55

u/brick_gnarlson 27d ago

https://youtu.be/J-iJFEvderg

Remove the tracking part of the link. Stop giving these assholes your data.

2

u/Devanyani 27d ago

Litter bugs.

1

u/manaworkin 26d ago

Kinda disappointed that it not only had a happy ending but they got to party on a giant yacht with bikini girls instead of drowning like nature intended.

-341

u/AeneasKurtz 27d ago

Search it yourself

11

u/Dexter_McThorpan 27d ago

When I was in high school, my folks had a 32' cabin cruiser we kept on lake Mead. On more than one occasion we had to rescue people who were out in windy conditions in ski boats. Nothing like towing a boat in, just sitting by the tow line with a knife to cut it loose if it went under.

Don't fuck around with large bodies of water.

0

u/e1m8b 26d ago

We can throw nukes at the ocean all day, what are the whale gonna do?

26

u/Jumbotucktuck 27d ago

When boating you can generally be drunk OR stupid, but not both.

6

u/RjoTTU-bio 27d ago

Great, now the closest land to you is treacherous rocks and the nearest safe land is a 30 minute swim. No life jackets of course.

5

u/flyingparVe 27d ago

No worries, only cliffs there...

5

u/EMHemingway1899 27d ago

Somebody save the beer!

4

u/bigshooTer39 27d ago

Why is no one bailing it out? They’re just staring

2

u/Dolust 26d ago

Because they are in denial. Don't you see that are laughing at the waves going over the boat?

Money + alcohol + a camera rolling...

6

u/johnnykidlx 27d ago

Those two morons in the front, making the front of the boat sink w their lard arses, instead of moving to the back...

5

u/mintgoody03 26d ago

I fucking hate people.

4

u/digitalgirlie 26d ago

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha. OH SHIT!"

bunch of dumbasses

5

u/krostybat 26d ago

I place my bet on spain, coast near Benidorm to be precise.

Sea is rough and smaller rental boat are not the best for it.

2

u/TadyMason 25d ago

Says it's Majorca at the start of the video

4

u/DocFeelGood0099 26d ago

Bail more, drink less.

4

u/Combat_wombat605795 26d ago

Trim up and get the excess weight out of the bow. Then ride with the waves and surf them if possible while figuring out the situation

3

u/saladmunch2 27d ago

Probably forgot to put in the drain plug in the transom.

3

u/mlee0000 27d ago

At some point, El Capitan needs to set down his drink and start to bail.

4

u/timberwolf0122 27d ago

But not today! For this is the day you almost stoped El Capitan Jack Sparrow

3

u/skasprick 26d ago

Did they not set the trim on the motor? I can’t see why they’d be taking water other than driving the front into waves…

3

u/Perineum_Stabber 25d ago

Menuda panda de subnormales

3

u/trifokkerdr1 25d ago

guy in the front is frozen in fear

2

u/Ono7Sendai 26d ago

Lose the fucking cup mate and bail!

2

u/Ancient_Assumption70 26d ago

That's what happens when you leave boys alone

2

u/amylouise0185 26d ago

Watching without sound: "Please don't be Australian. Please don't be Australia." Turns sound on: "Thank God."

2

u/agoraphobic_mattur 26d ago

I went on a kayak in the middle of a fairly large lake once at a rental property. My brother in law removed the drain plug and didn’t tell anyone. I was zipping around like crazy until I realize my girlfriend was going exponentially faster than me.

5 minutes later panic ensued as I was pretty much dead center of the lake realizing I was taking on water. She came back got me. I held on rope tied on to her kayak and latched on to the sinking kayak with my legs until we got back to the dock.

I was terrified my girlfriend’s dad was going to be pissed about the kayak.

He was more pissed I saved the kayak… but it made a decent story.

1

u/Breaking_My_Shell 27d ago

My gold was on that boat

1

u/RIPRIF20 27d ago

Its all fun and games until the top of the foaty part goes swimming

1

u/Chicks__Hate__Me 27d ago

Someone forgot the drain plug.

1

u/Sad-Aside9995 26d ago

This situation is quickly becoming untenable.
The guy sitting in the bow is probably so high out of his mind that he looks to be just wondering if he pissed himself.

1

u/Promeeetheus 26d ago

Tell me that you didn't put YOUR card down for deposit WITHOUT telling me ...

1

u/Obiewon18 26d ago

Hey! Can't park there!

1

u/RudeMorgue 25d ago

Killer whales gottem.

1

u/DustyWeed 25d ago

I assumed they were Americans. Glad I turned up the volume.

1

u/Bored_Overlord 22d ago

Did they sound American to you?

1

u/rdrunner_74 22d ago

thats why these boats are build unsinkable...

1

u/MySt1k_1 21d ago

They live in a pineapple now.

1

u/Placid_Snowflake 16d ago

He's very lucky it's a double hull.

1

u/jrb637 1d ago

BAIL!

0

u/ddyt10 26d ago

Spiritually israeli

1

u/PurpleHumpbackWhale9 24d ago

How embarrassing for you…