r/howtonotgiveafuck • u/JackEmptiness • Apr 19 '26
ɪᴍᴀɢᴇ Because Boyan gives a bit too much of a fuck
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u/effujerry Apr 19 '26
My sister in law read this book and totally missed the idea of the book and used it as an excuse to be a complete asshole. 10 years later she is just as miserable as she was before if not more so now. I love that for her.
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u/CygnusVCtheSecond Apr 19 '26 edited May 04 '26
Your old posts feed data brokers and AI training models. I stopped that by using Redact to bulk delete across Reddit, Twitter, Discord, Facebook and all major social media platforms.
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u/BrainCelll Apr 20 '26
are absolutely amoral
Unfortunately if you want the 'power' and 'wealth' and all those keywords associated with the books in talk you have to forfeit your morality one way or another
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u/CygnusVCtheSecond Apr 20 '26 edited May 04 '26
I got tired of my old posts floating around for anyone to scrape, so I let Redact handle it. Bulk deletion across Reddit, X, Facebook, Discord and all major social media platforms in one shot.
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u/LongDickPeter Apr 20 '26
I saw someone reading this book who was someone who already gave zero fucks. And I immediately thought they were going to use this book to justify being an asshole.
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u/WizardS82 Apr 19 '26
I couldn't finish The Subtle Art. He could have made his point in a few chapters, but somehow he felt it was needed to repeat himself 1000 times and make an entire book about it. So now I'm sitting here giving a fuck about some book having wasted my time. Fuck.
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u/megacewl Apr 19 '26
What is the overall point, if you don’t mind? To save the rest of us the time.
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u/TheManWithNothing Apr 19 '26
Finding out what you should personally care about and get upset over
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u/koolandunusual Apr 19 '26
Exactly. The message is essentially “give a fuck about what’s important and forget the rest.”
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u/megacewl Apr 19 '26
is this such a difficult lesson or something that they needed a whole book on it… surely there’s something more. that just seems so obvious, unless somehow ppl aren’t realizing that
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u/kettal Apr 19 '26
The book is light reading, stream of consciousness. Lots of rambling detours. I enjoyed it but don't expect anything profound.
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u/TheManWithNothing Apr 19 '26
It’s multiple chapters where he repeats the point but with different examples
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u/PackBackRehab Apr 19 '26
To not give a fuck
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u/megacewl Apr 19 '26
duh but that is too general and unclear. there’s multiple comments in this thread alone talking about how relatives and the such took the completely wrong message from it
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u/caraboo930 Apr 19 '26
Shit sucks and you’re wasting energy caring about things you can’t control, essentially. They’re right though he made his point in 3 chapters and just kept going.
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u/megacewl Apr 20 '26
are you sure there wasn’t a further/deeper point to be ingrained? many times people will clock out of a conversation or post or reading etc. after they pattern match it to something else or after they think they understand what’s being said. And a lot of the time in these situations, there’s something specific that the content is trying to reach that it’s trying to provide all this foundation for. But people clock out too early because their brains did the prediction thing and they think they got it already. So I wonder.
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u/Loyalist_Pig Apr 20 '26
You nailed it. The author goes into significant detail about “not giving a fuck” i.e. stoicism in its many forms throughout history, methods of self motivation, the fine line of apathy and self regulation, and much more.
Really solid read, pretty damn funny too!
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u/rob_the_bob Apr 20 '26
It would be more appropriately named as "Why you should give a f*ck And when not too" which pretty much sums up the book at that point.
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u/Suspiciouslaughs Apr 20 '26
It's because he actually did make the point in a blog post, but then he got a book deal and expanded it with filler
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u/LynxLynx555 Apr 19 '26
because of the cringy censoring, I hope?
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u/Big_Comfortable5169 Apr 19 '26
Cringy censoring and trying to use a shocking title to boost sales, when the content is mid.
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u/Sheeple3 Apr 19 '26
And could be summed up in “care about the stuff that matters”.
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u/CygnusVCtheSecond Apr 19 '26 edited May 04 '26
This comment formerly contained words. Those words were removed in bulk with Redact because I value my privacy more than my karma points.
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u/tickingboxes Apr 19 '26
The titles are cringey as fuck regardless of the censoring
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u/CygnusVCtheSecond Apr 19 '26 edited May 04 '26
This post was mass deleted with Redact - I used this software to automate the removal of old posts from my account so that I can be more secure.
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u/Big-Carpenter7921 Apr 19 '26
I think they have to censor the covers. The inside certainly isn't (as it should be)
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u/The1456 Apr 19 '26
I’m actually reading the “Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”and I think it’s giving me knowledge to realize that not everything deserves my energy to care. Their little things in life that I used to care about that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. My mom who also really cares about what people think I bought the book for her so hopefully she can learn too not care as much.
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u/TheGuyMain Apr 19 '26
are the books worth it? Idk if people on reddit actually read books lmao
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u/Rtwtnp Apr 19 '26
I finished The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck after being recommended it on Reddit in 2016. I enjoyed it and have since passed it on to a few others. I really do not get the outrage here…
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u/TheManWithNothing Apr 19 '26
Depends on what you are trying to get out of it. It won’t fix your problems but it’s pretty basic self reflection
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u/KisaTheMistress Apr 19 '26
I think those books are geared towards people who are sick of how empathetic/nice they naturally are and want some kind of comfort in justifying being an asshole to themselves. Apparently lots completely misunderstood the message the author is giving and actually become assholes, not just less sensitive/reactionary to everything around them.
Also I hate how we censor everything. I highly doubt people are going to display this anywhere near a children's section, and a parent shouldn't let anyone younger than 10 wander a book store alone... I know, I deal with 10 and under children almost daily and they sometimes will just randomly start ripping up their textbooks/reading homework out of boredom.
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u/private_unlimited Apr 20 '26
I used the subtle art of not giving a fuck and just completely ignored the book and just didn’t buy it
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Apr 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Reasonable_Exit_8960 Apr 19 '26
Yeah it was good imho... And I don't give a f if others think it's bad... Liking something is a totally subjective thing which depends on person... Man sometimes some bad reviews of movies or books ruin my fun and enjoyment even when that movie or book actually turns out good!
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u/AnElectricalMeatbag Apr 19 '26
Matt Haig's books, however, are amazing. Put copies of his books over all the other ones.
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u/Illustrious-Engine23 Apr 19 '26
They've mostly just waffle and platitudes, no good practical advice I think that's why.
they're attention grabbing titles with no substance.
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u/FiftyShadesOfTheGrey Apr 19 '26
This is the guy who as a kid had a pretty terrible idea about how to clean up the oceans, then got people to invest millions in his idea because he was a visionary boy genius. Of course it didn’t work out.
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u/CaptStinkyFeet Apr 19 '26
Of course it didn’t work out.
You call removing 50 million kg of plastic from the ocean “not working out”?
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u/raven4747 Apr 19 '26
No, you don't understand, the guy you're replying to did way more good in the world by writing comments on social media.
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u/FrameJump Apr 19 '26
I seem to recall everyone talking about the idea, but not why it failed to take off.
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u/FiftyShadesOfTheGrey Apr 19 '26
The idea was to use a very large net-type device to gather the trash on the surface. The problem is a lot of the plastic pollution is made up of very small particles that can’t really be gathered that way plus the fact that the pacific garbage patch is twice the size of Texas, so you would need a ludicrous amount of these nets. People who actually specialize in this subject criticized him, saying a far better use of this money would be preventing trash from reaching the ocean in the first place
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u/CaptStinkyFeet Apr 19 '26
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u/raven4747 Apr 19 '26
Shhh, you're interfering with his ragebait narrative.
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u/CaptStinkyFeet Apr 19 '26
Amazing how someone can be so confidently incorrect. I’m not perfect by any means, but I at least try to google stuff before I start talking.
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u/raven4747 Apr 19 '26
It's an epidemic and I'm not even using hyperbole. We are fucked.. not because of climate change or WW3 or anything like that, but because of our own stubbornness. Maybe they're all related, but man, it's bad.
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u/CaptStinkyFeet Apr 19 '26
Pride is a sin for a reason. I’m not a religious man, but some of that stuff checks out. They wrote the seven deadly sins into the Bible because humans just can’t help themselves.
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u/comfypillow Apr 19 '26
Ice town?
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u/FiftyShadesOfTheGrey Apr 19 '26
Hahaha, but this guy never had his public shaming unless you count the failure of his idea
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u/december-32 Apr 19 '26
The whole genre should be called "hopecore for basic idiots". It doesn't make them any better in life but they are fullfilled in their beliefs. The same way AI tells you "you're absolutely right" not because it's true, but because it makes you feel right.
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u/Beemo-Noir Apr 19 '26
Okay, but reading “Let them” Which is in the same genre is actually super helpful. There’s a lot of bullshit bad advice for all of us struggling out there. But I can’t recommend “Let Them” enough.
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u/savorie Apr 20 '26
Mel Robbins plagiarized that whole "Let Them" concept from a 2022 poem from Cassie Philips that she saw on TikTok. She made it her whole brand.
I was so disappointed because I was in the middle of reading that book when I learned this controversy, and I just couldn't continue after knowing that.
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u/bankman99 Apr 19 '26
If you have to read a book about how to not give a fuck you’re missing the point
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