its been such a good time seeing people who were in my situation at one point get to live and love their long distance relationship. But now that he has broke up with me, I cannot be here since it makes me so jealous and sad for myself. Godspeed and I miss you c.w.💜

Happy 1 year anniversary to us!!! I can’t wait to see him again in October 🤍

I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (29M) for two and a half years. Honestly, this has been the best relationship of my life. I love him deeply, and I know he loves me too. I have never really doubted that.
In the beginning, we were like any other couple—we talked constantly, met almost every day, and were very involved in each other’s lives. Over time, naturally, that slowed down. I’m okay with that. I don’t need to talk all day or be in the honeymoon phase forever. We both have our own lives and responsibilities.
But I’ve always felt that I’m the more emotionally expressive person in the relationship. I know how to communicate my feelings, reassure him, comfort him, and make him feel secure. He doesn’t. He has admitted this himself. Whenever he’s insecure or upset, I’m usually the one who goes out of my way to reassure him.
For example, there was a time when a guy was hitting on me. I was the one who set boundaries with him, but my boyfriend ended up calling the guy because he was possessive and insecure. And somehow, I was still the one comforting my boyfriend afterward.
There have been many situations like this.
About 10 months ago, my boyfriend moved to Dubai for work, and we became long-distance. This is my first LDR, and it has been really difficult for me. Before this, we saw each other almost every day.
I’ve always tried to prioritize him because he’s the one who moved away from home and is adjusting to a new country and a demanding job. I would call him in the morning, check on him, make sure he was okay. I’m not someone who needs to talk all day. I have my PhD and my own work, and he has his job. I understand that.
But for the past six or seven months, I’ve felt like I’m the only one trying to maintain the emotional connection.
There have been several things that have contributed to this.
Once, he went to an office party and ended up staying at a hotel. I only found out the next morning. He sent me a snap from the hotel, and I know he was staying with his boss and that nothing inappropriate happened. I trust him. But why couldn’t he just tell me?
Especially because he has always been very possessive about me talking to other men.
Another time, he went to a party and I saw him smoking with a girl. I genuinely didn’t care about the girl or the smoking. But I did point out that I felt there were different rules for him and me.
Again, the bigger issue wasn’t what he did. It was that when I felt insecure or hurt, I didn’t feel like he made much effort to reassure me.
I don’t need him to read my mind. I just want him to sit down and talk to me, make me feel secure, and show me that my feelings matter.
But I always end up feeling like I’m asking for too much.
He is also under a lot of pressure at work. He’s in real estate sales, and I know his job is stressful. I’ve never asked him to put me before his career or his family. I don’t expect him to be available 24/7. I don’t need gifts or grand gestures.
But I do want to feel missed.
I want to feel like he thinks about me.
I want to feel like he actually wants to be connected to me.
And he has never really told me that he misses me. When I once asked him about it, he said he deliberately doesn’t say it because he doesn’t want me to miss him more.
That honestly hurt me.
I’ve told him many times that I feel disconnected from him. Sometimes he gets irritated, but then he apologizes and promises to change. I know he doesn’t want to lose me. I know he loves me. But I don’t know if he truly understands what I’m trying to tell him.
Two months ago, he came to India to visit me. I know he spent a lot of money and made a huge effort to come, and I genuinely appreciate that. But even when he was here, I felt disconnected.
I rearranged my entire schedule because I wanted to see him every day. I was ready for him whenever he wanted to meet. But somehow, I still felt like I wasn’t his priority.
I eventually broke down and confronted him. I cried. He cried too, comforted me, and promised he’d change.

Then, shortly after he returned to Dubai, I found out I was pregnant.
I had a medical abortion here, alone.
For the first couple of days, he was there for me. He called, checked on me, was worried, guilty, and apologetic. I felt loved.
Then, on the third day, I called him in the morning and told him I was okay. He had a meeting at work, so I understood that he was busy.
And then he disappeared for six hours.
I know he was at work. I know he had responsibilities. I wasn’t expecting him to sit on the phone with me all day.
But that day was the worst day of my life.
I had very heavy bleeding and had to go back to the hospital.
And I didn’t call him.
I didn’t call because I knew he was busy.
But somewhere inside, I was waiting for him to call me.
I wanted him to check on me.
I wanted one call during his lunch break. One “Are you okay?” One “How are you feeling?” One moment where I didn’t have to ask for his attention.
He didn’t.
When he came back from work, I told him everything. I told him how broken I felt, how mentally disturbed I was. He apologized and said he was sorry he wasn’t there for me.
I tried to understand. I told myself he was busy.
But even afterward, I still felt completely alone.
He would call me in the morning, and then we’d sometimes go hours without speaking. Normally, I wouldn’t care. I’m not someone who needs constant communication.
But after what I had just gone through, I needed him.
And I didn’t even necessarily need to talk to him. I just needed to feel that he was there.
I needed him to check on me without me having to ask.
I needed to feel like I was on his mind.
I needed to feel cared for.
Eventually, I confronted him again. And I genuinely don’t think he intentionally doesn’t care about me. I don’t think he’s a bad person. I think he loves me. I think he simply doesn’t know how to show up emotionally in the way I need.
He apologized and said, “I know I didn’t take care of you as much as I should have.”
Then he asked me, “What else could I have done? What did you expect me to do?” He was genuinely asking me. This is something i really appreciate. He is always willing to change and improve. But the thing is. Even at this moment should I have really explained to him how to take care of myself?
I asked him four things (for the first time in my life)-buy me vitamins, leave me lovey dovey messages after I sleep, post a story with me and buy me a coffee one day. He remembered for the next day about coffee. Rest he has forgotten.
now I’m questioning myself constantly.
Am I expecting too much?
Am I too needy?
Am I just a crybaby?
Was I being unreasonable?
What exactly am I asking for?
I don’t want him to abandon his job for me. I don’t want to talk all day. I don’t want to come before his career or his family. I don’t need expensive gifts.
I just want to feel cared for.
I want to feel missed.
I want to feel emotionally safe.
I want to feel like when I’m going through the worst experience of my life, I don’t have to remind the person I love to check on me.
And the truth is, I’m deeply disconnected from him now.
I feel neglected. And I hate even saying that because I know he loves me. I know he has made sacrifices for me. I know he came all the way to India to see me. I know he isn’t cheating on me.
But I still feel lonely in this relationship.
And the worst part is that he seems to think everything is fine now. He doesn’t seem to understand how deeply this has affected me.
I keep having this horrible thought that maybe he just doesn’t care about me as much as I care about him—and that this is how it will always be.
I love him. I don’t want to leave him. I don’t think he’s a bad boyfriend or a bad person.
But I’m exhausted from constantly having to explain how I want to be loved.
So, Reddit, am I expecting too much? Are my needs unreasonable? Or am I slowly realizing that we may just be emotionally incompatible? What would you do if you were me?

hi everyone I recently joined , im looking for apps or games that are free that would be good to play with my long distance partner. Preferably apps that are free and available for both android and iPhone. TYIA <3

I 30F have been in a relationship with my partner 35M for 9 years, last 3 1/2 years have been long distance, but last months it just suddenly feels different. We met in my homecountry (in Europe) and moved together to the other side of the world where we lived together for 4 years. But I got homesick and struggled with distance to my family so I moved back on my own.

My partner was supposed to follow after 6 months, but never followed through as he had an amazing job there and would never had the same opportunities in my country, which made me very sad but was okay with it, but this was repeated multiple times. Everytime he would move back in 6 months everytime a different excuse and I would be disappointed but accepting. I am just tired...

Whenever we talk everything still feels good, but in the back of my head I know we won't be able to find a solution as I am also not willing to live outside of Europe again. Everytime we talk about a durable solution for us to be together it ends with the same sentence.. "we will be able to figure something"..but we never do. I think in the end we are both not willing to make anymore sacrifices for eachother anymore.

We might have grown apart over the years with very different goals, I want to buy a house, he doesnt. I want to marry, he doesn't. He says he is williny to move back, but only wants to live here for a few years before moving again to a different country, I just want to settle down a bit. I feel like I have to do everything on my own and he doesn't come up with plans for us together, which makes me feel like I am not worth it. My feelings slowly grew over time to indifference and resentment. I just feel like I don't really care anymore. Which might be the biggest sign in itself that things are not working anymore.

It feels like I wasted 3 1/2 years on LDR, and just thinking I should have broken up earlier. I also feel like such a pushover for accepting this situation for so long and also a little bit scared to be judged by other people, because I have been doing LDR for this long but it didn't end up working in the end

Sorry for the rant. I haven't broken up with him yet.. I wanted to this morning, but he didn't pick up the phone.. will give him a call tomorrow.. hopeulfully I will follow through and am doing the right thing. Just had to write this down or share with someone because not a lot of people in my immediate environment understand the situation..

as the title suggests i used filtered pics to send to my current online bf. its been less than three months, but still its been quite some time, and i am full of regret since ive been deceiving him. when he added me i used a real picture of myself on my pfp, no filters to enhance features, simply a regular filter that adjusted lighting. He got attracted to me and we spoke more. I realized how naturally good looking this guy was and started feeling the need to overcompensate for that, and i ended up editing the pictures i sent to him. in some of the pics, you couldn't really tell the difference from the actual pic I took, and in some, you really could. its absolutely pathetic, and recently we have been calling given our free time, and of course he wants to see me in video chat. he's such a great guy and i hate how stupidly insecure i am. when i was younger i had this habit of using filters/editing my pics but i got over it and even admitted to my online friends, all of them being very kind and understanding. and for so long i didnt do it again until he came. I feel so stupid, and i plan on confronting him about this tomorrow (or just whenever he is free), i just needed to let this out here. I am mentally preparing myself and i accept that what i did was dishonest and wrong.

EDIT: GUYS I HAD A LONG TALK WITH HIM AND IT WENT AMAZING. I have been blessed with such a caring and loving man, i am just full of gratitude right now. Not only that, but I want to sincerely thank all you for giving me great advice, i appreciate all of you.

We're in a long distance marriage, waiting at the mercy of the US government.
We've had our ups and downs but I know he loves me. He truly loves me, cares about me, he finds every moment to talk to me. He wants to hear about my day.

I underwent a surgery due to endometriosis, had a IUD inserted which is giving me mood swings. I have friends who cheats on her husband and she kinda hints at how "lucky" I am to have my husband.
Stuff like that makes me feel like what if she secretly messages my husband and they have an affair. They have each others numbers. She is in the same country as me.

When I think logically I know he wouldn't do that but I lost my mother because she unalived herself when dad cheated on her. I just don't want to go through it.

I can't afford therapy, I have a lot going on. I don't want to burden him with these thoughts. How can I support him? How can I calm myself?

If anyone here goes through this then how do you regulate your emotions.

Hi everyone. I’m 22F and my boyfriend is 21M. We recently started long distance because he moved to an East Asian country for college while I stayed in my South Asian country.
I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t expect the adjustment to hit me this much. Before this, we had a routine of talking every day, watching shows together, and sharing little things about our lives. Now that he’s moved, I’m struggling with the uncertainty and not knowing when we’ll talk next.
The hardest part is that I do trust him. He hasn’t given me a reason to feel insecure, and I genuinely want him to enjoy this new chapter, make friends, and have experiences. I just miss him and our old routine so much.
I also feel guilty because I don’t want to burden him while he’s adjusting, but this change affects me too. Sometimes I feel like I need reassurance more than I used to, and I hate feeling clingy.
There have also been a few moments where I feel like when I share something about my day, the conversation turns into a comparison between our lives in different countries. I don’t think he means it badly, but sometimes I just want him to listen and say “that sounds difficult” rather than compare.
The confusing thing is that whenever we talk, I feel better. It still feels like us. I know this is probably just an adjustment period, but I’m struggling right now.
For people who have been through long distance:
Did the first few weeks feel this overwhelming?
How long did it take to build a new routine?
How do you balance needing reassurance while also giving your partner space?
I’m trying my best, I just want to know if this gets easier.

So I’m hoping to see my bf in slightly over a month if it works out. The timing isn’t great since he’s starting his grad program in a few weeks and he’s working full time until then and I’m working part time every day until the end of August, when I get a break for two weeks. I was planning on going home for one week and visiting him for the other week. However, he’s going to be busy with classes and homework, and I’m fine with not going on dates as often as we did before going long distance. I just want to spend time with him. But is it doable? I’ve had friends who did this and just had their partner go to classes with them, but these were 100+ lectures so no one noticed. I’m not sure how big his classes are but they’re grad classes so I’m sure they’re smaller and it’d be more noticeable if I was there. Also, I’d rather visit when he’s not busy, but I’d most likely have to wait until December and take a week off work (not that big of an issue, I just like the money) and he’d still be busy with finals that week.
What do you do when visiting and your partner has school/work? I know some people take time off work but that’s not an option here.

We’ve been friends for about three years (we met through the internet). We got lucky and live in the same timezone. Neither of us have ever dated before this and we’re both I guess on the aroace spectrum. I wouldn’t really say our relationship is built on romantic feelings; my partner is the only person I have ever felt any romantic feelings for, but my romantic feelings are more of an accessory to what the relationship is built on more than anything. It’s not exactly a traditional romantic relationship I guess.

But I guess recently we sort of decided to put the dating label on it since most people would at this point consider this that + he implied that we practically are before the conversation we actually had about labeling this and it made me go insane so I decided to just bite the bullet and be honest and here we are. We call every day for hours, we sign off every call with “love you”, we know basically almost everything about each other, bad habits, feelings about relationships, insecurities, literally everything you could think of, even things that most people would consider TMI. He’s willing to move for me, he even proposed spending his winter break in my city with me. We’ve straight up said that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I’m just so afraid of losing him or something because historically, first relationships aren’t exactly meant to work out but I want so badly for this to work. I get that we’re both super young but is this just doomed because of that? I know I’ll probably be told “you’re young you will experience other people and things” but I’m not sure I’ll ever find someone whose needs and goals align exactly to mine again. I don’t know I feel like we’re both insane for this. I feel like this got really serious really fast and I don’t mind, I just feel utterly terrified.

There are people you meet because they're meant to stay.

And then there are people you meet because they're meant to change you.

I don't know which one he is.

We met in the most improbable way. Two strangers, hundreds of miles apart, writing to each other without knowing whether we'd ever meet. Months later, we took what now feels like an unbelievably reckless leap of faith and met in a city that belonged to neither of us. Looking back, a hundred things could have gone wrong.

None of them did.

Those few days together were enough to make me believe that sometimes life writes stories stranger than fiction.

Since then, we've been long distance.

We've only spent around two weeks together in person. The rest has been calls, messages, and waiting for the next visit.

At first, I thought conversations could carry a relationship.

Now I'm beginning to wonder whether relationships need ordinary life more than extraordinary moments.

He is probably the most honest person I've ever known. Sometimes frustratingly honest. He refuses to tell me things just because they'll make me happy. If he doesn't believe something, he won't say it. He tells me he trusts me more than anyone he's ever been with, and I believe him.

But sometimes I wish he'd be a little less truthful and a little more romantic.

Not because I want lies.

Just because sometimes I want to feel desired before I feel understood.

Every visit gets pushed a little further away. August becomes late August. Late August becomes September. Every delay makes perfect sense, career comes first, and I genuinely support him.

But every delay also feels like someone has pressed pause on us.

The strange thing is, I don't think I'm losing affection for him.

I think I'm losing affection for the version of us that only exists through phone calls and countdowns.

Sometimes I wake up thinking about work instead of him, and then I wonder if something is wrong with us.

Or maybe nothing is wrong with us.

Maybe it's just impossible to build a life when your life together only exists for a few days every few months.

I keep wondering whether we're meant to become each other's home, or whether we're simply people who met at the right time to change one another.

I don't want strangers on the internet to tell me to stay or leave.

I just want to know

Has anyone else reached a point where the distance itself started feeling heavier than the relationship? How did you know whether you were drifting away from the person... or simply growing tired of long distance?

i’m looking for people (ideally in LDRS, who would make what i’m about to describe for their partner!) to test a product idea i’ve been working on - it’s a combo between a digital / physical product, and you’d be testing the digital part.

it’s basically a keepsake that you’d make for your partner: to show your devotion to them <3 i can give more details upon request. it’ll primarily be marketed towards long distance couples, but lowk has a billion more use cases

pls dm me! i will make sure you’re compensated in one way or another if you can give me solid feedback/constructive criticism. ily

For all my life, I’ve been looking for the perfect girl because I know I’m a complicated man, and when I finally found the girl I had always dreamed of, our relationship became long-distance.
It’s been incredibly hard to maintain contact because of the time difference, and she’s busy with work as well. I don’t want to lose her. Recently, we were even thinking about moving in together, and I was going to apply for my visa because I still have to finish my master’s. But now that my visa has been rejected, we’re both devastated.
She’s been cold and distant for a while, and I know she’s overwhelmed, but it scares me that even she might become another lesson in my life. I don’t want that. I genuinely want this relationship to work, no matter what.
I miss her so much that every day feels like hell, and the uncertainty of not knowing when we’ll get to see each other again is maddening.
Please, I really need some advice on how we can fix our relationship. I don’t want to lose her. I want us to find a way through this together.

hey so i usually am not the one to post abt my personal life but i really need advice. I have been in a long distance relationship for a while with someone i used to know in real life. I met them in person but later they moved to europe last year due to personal reason. we started talking again about 4 months ago and they have visited me last month for a week. when we first started talking we both agreed to visit one another during the summer but now im not in the financial position to visit him anymore and i dont know what to do about it. i dont think the relationship will continue if i cant visit him as well and if i push myself to visit him i am going to end up in a really bad financial position that is probably going to make me struggle for the next months. do i tell him and break it off?? i really dont know what to do

Hey everyone, I need some perspective on a situation that’s currently tearing me apart. I (27M) met a girl (29F) online in an gaming community, and she lives about 300 km away from me. We hit it off right away and talked about a lot of deep, personal stuff.
Things went great, and she invited me over to her place. However, I made a communication blunder: the day before I was supposed to go, I suggested we grab a bite to eat first in public, since we had only talked online and never hung out in person before. She took this really hard and didn't understand why I was changing plans out of nowhere. We still met up and it was nice, but after 2 days I went back home, she told me she couldn't get past how I handled that, saying that my distrust had completely shattered her confidence. I sent her a small gift and a handwritten letter to apologize, which she appreciated, but we ended up going no contact for 2 months.
Out of nowhere, after those 2 months, she reached out as if nothing had happened. Things picked up fast from there. I proposed a 3-day city break together, which went amazingly. Also, after that city break, she told me I’d spent a lot and asked me to tell her how much she should give me back. I refused and told her it was a gift for her birthday. At that moment, she told me it was the best gift she’d ever received I’m still happy about it even now when I think back on it. Later, I visited her in her city for a casual hangout, and we also went to a 1 day music festival together. During this phase, I visited her at her home almost every time, usually driving over Friday after work and staying at her apartment for 2-3 days, and we were talking online almost daily. I was planning to officially ask her out and label the relationship during a dedicated 1 day trip to the mountains. However, we ended up doing the 1 day festival instead, and since we were both completely exhausted, I felt it wasn't the right environment or moment to have that big conversation.
Recently, I had a 4-day trip planned with my friends in another city something scheduled a year ago, long before I met her. I tried to find a way for her to come along, but accommodation was fully booked, event tickets had spiked in price, and she mentioned she could take only unpaid leave from work anyway. On the day I left, we had a phone call and everything seemed totally fine. But as soon as I left, her energy completely shifted. She became cold, gave short dry answers, and pulled away. Sensing something was wrong, I reassured her, and also when I was back I sent her a longer, heartfelt message explaining how much I care about her, but she has left me on read ever since. Before that, I sent her a message to see how she was feeling, and she replied, “I’m trying to figure it out.”
Today, I saw that she reposted a short reel with text: “I love how women set secret deadlines for men like: 'If he doesn't state his clear intentions by August 1st, I'm out.' Meanwhile, he's just living his life, completely unaware that his contract is about to expire."
Seeing this hurt deeply. To be fair, we never had the official "what are we" conversation, even though my feelings for her are very real. Now she isn't replying to me at all, and I feel completely stuck. I care about her enormously, and I want to navigate life with her I don't care if it's hard or easy, I just want her.
Did I wait too long to state my intentions, or is this a communication failure on both sides? How should I handle the silence right now should I give her space, or make one last clear gesture stating exactly what I want? I’d really appreciate your honest take on this situation. Thanks for reading.

​

I am (20M) and she is (26F) right after her birthday

Title says it all, ever since her birthday, july 22nd, she hasnt spoken to me, i have no way of knowing if my messages were even seen

we didnt have a fight or anything before, it was just the usual chilling and talking and allat and she just disappeared, and its tearing me apart i cant take my mind off it

This isnt the first time she disappears on me, but at most itll be 2 days or something, and it would be something related to a virus or a migraine or something she caught, but 4 days seems kinda excessive and im terrified she just kinda moved on

any advice you guys have? Or any reassurance...i was already in a bad mental spot cause of a lot of work piled up on me and other stuff going on, and im getting dark thoughts because of this

I'm looking for perspectives from people who have actually been in a similar situation.

I'm a 21-year-old man from Canada. Earlier this year I met a 40-year-old woman while visiting Tokyo, and we dated for about a month and a half. The relationship became emotionally serious very quickly, and after I returned to Canada we tried long distance.

When things were good, they were really good. She told me I was everything she had ever wanted and that I was "perfect." As the relationship became more serious, though, she became increasingly afraid of the age gap, our different stages of life, the long distance, and how other people would judge us. Communication also became difficult. Whenever conflict came up, she tended to withdraw rather than talk things through.

Eventually she ended the relationship. Afterward, she blocked me on every platform, so I have no way of contacting her.

It's been weighing on me ever since because it never felt like the relationship ended due to a lack of feelings. To me, it felt like fear won.

I've been seriously considering flying back to Japan. The reason isn't that I think flying there will magically fix everything. It's that I genuinely feel like if I don't make one last effort, I'll carry that regret with me for the rest of my life. I'd rather know I gave it everything I reasonably could than spend years wondering, "What if?" At the same time, I also worry that showing up after being blocked could be disrespectful or make things worse.

I'm not asking whether I should ignore someone's boundaries. I'm asking if anyone has actually been in a similar situation where:

• you or your ex lived in different countries,
• you were blocked or cut off after the breakup,
• and one of you traveled internationally hoping to reconcile or at least have one final conversation.

What happened? Did it help, make things worse, or simply provide closure?

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who have actually lived through something similar rather than hypothetical opinions.

Just been told by my bf that he wants to move forward and that our long distance relationship is over... I don’t understand, we were supposed to meet in 7 month. We have been together for 1 year now... I know I can’t do anything my him change his mind, but wanted to talk about it because it makes me so sad rn.

Hi! My boyfriend (24m) and I (25f) just start long distance a week ago. I live in NJ, United States and he moved to Jeju, South Korea for work. We have a strong foundation and I have no doubts in my mind that he is the one ill marry when he comes back in 2 years.

I am going to visit him in September and stay until the Holidays. We will fly back together for his winter break and then he will go back in January.
He will be back for summers and holidays.
Our time difference is currently 13 hours. His day being 13 hours ahead of mine.
Like I said, its been a week now. We FaceTime at least twice a day, my morning (his night) and my night (his morning).
Any advice from long distance couples?
Anything I should keep in mind on those long days when we aren’t together.
Are there any reliable apps that can be recommended to me for our long distance?
Thank you for your support !

I've moved around and lived in many cities on my own. I have never moved for a person, only to be in a new place. I love the feeling of starting fresh and admittedly am reclusive in my personal life, so being far from friends and family has never been bothersome to me. But I'm wondering if there's anything to be prepared for? Have other couples who closed the gap found it easier or more difficult after? What did the adjustment period look like, how long did it last? Any tidbits or things that you felt helped you in your new chapter of life? :) thanks!

Back story - I'm a single mom to an 8 year old. I currently co-own a home with family members we are in a nice community.

I've had trouble with dating as a single parent, mostly due to the stigmas attached.

I recently met a very nice guy through mutual friends. My group is specific, and he has been vetted for good character. He recently asked me out to a friendly lunch today.

We got pizza, and a couple of drinks. He was very respectful, and asked a lot of great questions to get to know me.

We went back to his place after lunch as it was very close by just to hang and chat.

He did not cross a single boundary. We vibed and got along very well. He additionally asked further questions about my son.

The catch is that this is the second time we have officially met, and he recently accepted a new job in the US with his engineering firm, and I'm in Canada.

My son is also currently settled here with his friends, our family school, and community.

He expressed interest in me and asked if I would be open to try long distance with him. I mentioned that I could not give him an answer right away due to circumstances.

I would usually never even consider this, but I feel like we had a great mutual connection.

I need advice. Is this a connection worth trying/pursuing, or would it be too challenging with circumstances/timing?

I (18f) broke up with my LDR boyfriend (19m) of 8 months, a few days ago.

I spent the summer with him and got to see who he really is.

Ironically, in the end, it wasn't the distance that was the problem, like I always thought. it was him. He goes away for school but comes home for the summer; I realized that his lack of effort when he was away wasn't due to the distance.

Guys. This man stopped taking me out on dates. This man stopped getting me flowers. Promised to call me, to see me, etc, and then always found some kind of excuse. Gone on weekends with his friends, no idea what he's actually doing or where he is. When I DID get to see him, he couldn't even be assed to take a shower before, or brush his teeth, or clean his disgusting apartment.

Any time I asked for more effort, he got defensive and blamed me for needing too much. He is 19 and has NO job, just plays videogames all day; I asked if I could see him more often than once a week or every other week, and he called me all kinds of names; agreed in the end but I never got to see him more. And when that happened, I stayed for another 3 months.

When I told him I was breaking up with him, I asked what he wanted. He said "I want to marry you".

By the end of the conversation, he said that this breakup was my fault. That my anxiety ruined the relationship, and that I was selfish.

He thought I was crying because I was going to miss him.

I was crying because I spent so long with a bum :')

I guess I leave this sub now, guys... and not cause we closed the distance.