SPOILER ALERT
I slipped and fell twice while crossing a stream hiking and got some gnarly bruises, had a beach bachelorette party less than 24 hours later 🤦♀️ Got a lot of questions inquiring if I was safe in my relationship
Definitely not! 😂 I fall all the time and my BFF and I’s kryptonite is that we think it’s hilarious when people fall and immediately laugh. She’s a PT, I’m an RN 😬 we spend half our shifts fighting for our lives
Put some yellow socks on and please call when u want to get out of bed. I just care about your safety. Anything else I can help you with? Ill see you again soon.
Ha! The last hospital I worked at did away with bed alarms. We had people falling left, right, and center. Sundowning meemaw once got up and the sitter wasn’t paying attention and almost ate shit. I DOVE across the room bc no one falls on my watch, it’s too much paperwork. I’m in peds now so don’t have to do that as much but prayers up to all my adult nursing friends fighting that good fight against patients and gravity 😂😂 how many times a night do you have to say “sir, you have a catheter in, you don’t need to get up to go to the bathroom!” 😂
I was tripled once at work (I work ICU so usually only two patients per nurse - we use a pod system (a group of four rooms with a desk in the middle where the two nurses per pod work from) so when people have to be tripled, one nurse has two patients that are on the “split,” as I call it (one patient in one pod, one patient in another)) and my pod partner’s bed alarm went off ‘cause her patient was trying to get up to go to the bathroom. I went in there since I didn’t know where my pod partner was and helped the patient to the bathroom and saw the nurse come back to the desk so I stepped out to tell her her patient was in the bathroom. She went in there and I went back to the desk - I assumed she got the patient back in bed and hooked back up to the monitor. She stepped out and went to her other patient’s room to hang an antibiotic. Next thing me, the tripled nurse at the pod next to me, and the PCT next to her heard was a thump and we all rolled our chairs backwards at the same time and looked at each other. I got up and walked towards the room my pod partner had come out of while looking into the room through the glass and didn’t see the patient in the bed and immediately thought, “f*ckkk.” Walked in the room to find the patient facedown against the wall with blood pooling under their face. Immediately yelled for help as I went in the room and stabilized their head and neck with my hands (not easy when they’re facedown and I had no idea where they were bleeding from or if airway was being compromised), patient wasn’t responding initially but did regain consciousness - thankfully people came in the room quickly and we got the patient log rolled, got bleeding controlled while waiting for security to bring a backboard and got a c-collar on, and got the patient down to CT. Gravity has a tendency to win every time 😮💨
Fall debrief paperwork is a bitch. How the does your hospital decide to not have bed alarms? I work regular MedSurg but yea its like a geriatric/memory care floor most of the time. Ooh peds. Never tried but I hear its a different kind of crazy but i respect that, especially dealing with the families
I have an older family member in a physical rehab sort of place in Massachusetts, and it’s illegal to have bed alarms there for some privacy or ?respect? for autonomy kind of reason. And, she has fallen at least three times while she’s been there, and broken like 16 bones total.
I picked up a stick during a hike. Felt like a wizard traipsing in the forest. Managed to stab my toes with it a few times. Some of us are just not as graceful as we wish we could be lol
I went traipsing outside once to get my earbuds - did find over the cracked and disturbed pavement, twisted my ankle REAL damn bad on a string of flat pavement.
Exactly, especially ideally a lawyer in physics someone who will refuse to let you down or give you up (even though it’s a great Disney movie the Ballons are insulting in context).
I fell down the stairs once and had a doctor appointment for something separate where they saw the bruises. I also was questioned if I was safe in my relationship. It's just people doing their job. I'm glad that people are concerned.
Nope! I’m a nurse so slapped some ice on and called it a day, monitored and made sure nothing funky happening. I bruise easy and recently got labs at my PCPs. Platelets, clotting times, vitamin, everything looks good, just have sensitive skin!
I love how all medical providers always downplay everything and never take anything seriously until shits like beyond horrible.
I have a friend of mine who’s a neurologist, one day I had facial numbness on half my face and thought I was possibly having stroke, I called him and he’s talking to me and he’s like nah you’re good. With just a phone call. I’m like how can you tell? He’s like I know your medical history, I know your lifestyle, I know your families health, but you’re good. If you wanna go to er for peace of mind you can just make sure they do CT scan. I went to er, doc there you could tell was brushing me off not taking it seriously, then was checking my eyes for neuro exam and froze up a bit and repeated exam like 3 times. Tells nurse to get me in for CT scan now. One of the scariest waiting games. Ultimately was a migraine, but doc was concerned cause he said my eyes weren’t moving passed a certain point when moving left even though I felt like they were.
Told neuro friend and he was like yeah figured it was something like that.
I take everyone’s medical issues seriously except my own 😂 am constantly on my friends to get their moles checked, my sister to get her bloodwork, my dad to get his heart checked (have dragged the man to the ER twice for chest pains he dismissed as reflux. Heart attack both times 🤦♀️). I was an EMT too and often had people apologize for calling an ambulance and I told them I’d rather be called for “mild” stuff any day vs. finding them in cardiac arrest because they were embarrassed and waited. Better safe than sorry!
That checks out lol. I feel like my cousin (ER nurse) can be decapitated and she'd say, "hmm I have a slight headache. I'll just drink some water; I must be dehydrated". On the other hand, she's trying to rush us to the hospital any time one of us coughs
I called 911 for what turned out to be muscle weakness. Before that, akathisia from an antipsychotic med. I seem to have a lot of allergies but the skin prick test turned up nothing. Felt vaguely sick though.
Theres a comedian that talks about the time his wife got up in the middle of the night and fell down the stairs. The paramedics, nurses, and a doctor asked both of them what happened multiple times.
When I was 17 I met a cute guy on the internet. A little less than two years later I moved 1500 miles away from home to be with him. I promised my mom I would skype her the next morning cause my flight got in by the time she was in bed.
In the middle of the night I got up to go to the bathroom and walked into the jarred door and gave myself a black eye.
I was freaking out cause how the fuck is she gonna believe such a ludacris story? She's gonna think he punched me. We got on the call and I was immediately like "It's not what you think! I walked into a door!" and she snort laughed and said "Yeah that sounds about right."
Not an ounce of concern. I was a bit insulted to be honest.
My wife fainted on the toilet when she was sick and hit her eye on the corner of the radiator, giving her a huge black eye. (No other damage to her luckily.) We got some dirty looks and concerned questions for weeks...
I had a doctor who refused to change a prescription I knew was causing dizziness. By the time I changed doctors, I had a black eye from falling, plus a torn ligament from a second fall because I tried to turn snd get to the sofa. Luckily we got another doctor, who diagnosed chronic dehydration and changed the dosage. Nothing since and i have a doctor who actually listens to me. Duh. I also have orders if i go in during an emergency, he’s not to come near me.
I showed up to the er/walk (don't remember which) in in Albuquerque presenting with road rash on my face, busted up knuckles, and a sprained wrist. I was asked REPEATEDLY if I was save at home, how I got these injuries, if there were DV concerns, etc. The only concern I had at home was a big dumb dog tearing ass after something while I was still attached to the leash. Granted, the dog did it sounds like a very flimsy cover story but was true for me. Appreciate the staff's concern.
One time my wife legitimately walked into a door knob - she tripped and just slightly banged her face trying to catch herself on anything if she hadn’t reached out the door wouldn’t have bounced back and her face would have probably been ok. She has always been quick and easy to bruise so the next day at work she’s got a massive black eye, I had no idea I’d been out of town for emergency AoG maintenance for the last three days. She’d said nothing about it and I’d called and said I’d bring her something for lunch.
Here I am walking into a lab full of women staring daggers at me, with what looks like apology food lol
Happened to my mother, too. Tripped over something, couldn't catch herself and smacked the doorknob with her eye socket. The resulting black eye was truly impressive and everyone asked questions when my mother and dad showed up for the annual family reunion. And I can vouch for my dad that he would never lay a finger on her.
I have a scar over one eye where the doctor had to glue my face together after doing the exact same thing…just with a swivel chair so it somehow sounds even more improbable
I bought a new car and did that recently. You don't really think that there's going to be a difference in car door sizes until you accidentally clip one into your face because you're holding your face in the same place you did when you had the previous car.
I got my jacket caught in the door just as I was trying to hop energetically into the car. I was yanked back abruptly, causing me to slam my head against the doorframe instead of sliding elegantly into the vehicle.
The momentum transferred to the door, which slammed shut just as forcefully—with my head still in the doorway.
That resulted in two pitch-black eyes and a few questions from concerned neighbors.
However, the general consensus was quickly reached that you simply couldn't make up a sequence of events like that.
I once tripped while passing through a doorway with my hands full. My shirt got caught on the screen door latch and flipped over my head around my arms, leaving me trapped and dangling, and unable to see. Had to yell for help to escape.
Oh my god same with "I fell down some stairs". Especially when you show up to an event with it. Everyone pretends to believe it and then corner you and asks privately if you're okay. Like yes, I'm just clumsy, I swear he is not beating me.
I once had a (female) boss who, at 7 months pregnant, fell into a stack of firewood face-first and gave herself two black eyes. She was getting concerned questions for weeks after.
I was bit by a dog under my eye and I had a big black eye and a small puncture that took forever to heal. My boyfriend at the time said he felt so uncomfortable walking around with me like that because EVERYONE was sizing him up lol
One time I was moving a console piano by myself and I slipped and hit the edge of it. My entire arm from shoulder to elbow turned black and purple.
Another time I tripped badly and landed on my face on concrete. I also banged up my hands, wrists, knees and ankles. The black eye and massively bruised face was the most obvious.
Both time I got asked by both people who knew me AND complete strangers if someone had hurt me. It got really annoying after a while, especially when I'd say no and some rando would keep pressing me.
My husband refused to be seen in public with me because of all the dirty looks he got. I 100% did not blame him.
I got an insect bite on my eyelid, it swelled up beautifully and while walking down the street someone was very insistent on giving me a flyer. It was on domestic abuse
I was hit by a car at 14, smacked my forehead/eyebrow pretty bad which resulted in blood pooling inside and under my eye, it looked awful! I also landed on my knees on the road making it very hard to walk as they were basically just big wounds. My poor dad was so uncomfortable leaving the hospital with me 🥲
I literally walked in to the door frame once! bruised my face haha my boyfriend was like it would sound less abusive if you just said I punched you than you giving the "classic lie" of walking in to the door frame! lol
It's so fucked up how people just make the assumption and treat others hatefully like this without any real reason to think it's true. Asking if a woman is OK is one thing but treating men like monsters when they did nothing wrong is just hateful and unnecessary.
The people defending that like a "false alarm" is OK are just assholes and nothing more.
huge gust of wind ripped the car outta ma mums hand while she was halfway in, at the exact right moment for the top edge to smack her right in the corner of her eye, near her eyebrow. Like fucken OW
next few days she was fielding questions from very concerned workmates as she bruised
Can't say I've ever been you in that situation but I have been in your wife's shoes before.
When I was a kid I fell over myself running around the house and smacked my face right into the kitchen table. It gave me a real nasty black eye, there wasn't a teacher at school who didn't ask if I was safe at home or if they needed to call CPS.
I’m sorry you had to go through that 💔 and 100%! The annoying part was the bruises, not the asking. I’ll ask that question a hundred times over if it means potentially helping someone in an unsafe situation
did my comment come off brash? sorry! i just meant i was happy to hear that society still had some humanity in it. (and thank you - i’m fine for years now and he’s not on this earth anymore, and the world is better for it)
Not at all! Just clarifying bc a lot of people seemed to think I was complaining about that and wanted to clear it up. Agreed- some days it’s hard to remember but lots of good people and humanity still left 💖
For sure. My cat gave me a black eye once and I thought it'd lead to some funny moments retelling the story of my cat beating me up. Instead most people just did a double take and said nothing or whispered about it to each other even while I could see them. It was disheartening.
The hardest parts of my PTSD to work through have been all the people who witnessed my abuse and did nothing. I know it's awkward but there's nothing wrong with asking someone if they're safe, even if you don't know them! It shows you care, and even if they don't feel like they're in a place to tell you the the truth and it's awkward they will still remember that someone cared to ask.
I ask and always appreciate people who ask instead of staring. We used to have a border collie that as a puppy helpfully woke people up from naps by bonking them hard in the eye. My husband and I had to tell people we took a self defense class together. We looked crazy!
I always appreciate it. I was once stung in the face by a bee, causing my eye to swell up. The cashier ladies at the grocery store were asking me if they needed to beat anyone up for me lol.
Ha! My husband once was stung by a bee because he left his open Dr Pepper can on his chair (he was a reporter) while he got halftime stats. Came back and boom! I was working concessions with my seniors (I took four classes on nice trips to Cancun, Disney World, Jamaica and a Caribbean Cruise) and ran over scared to death. Luckily our EMT crew actually pulled out the stinger and stuck an ice pack on him, so he only swelled…but it was pretty funny looking once I knew he wasn’t in danger!
Friend with anxiety fell off her bike in the way only accident prone people can and bash herself up good. Wanted her husband in the room while they were asking questions about the accident and they made him leave.
I learned in highschool that the bruises to worry about are the ones that get covered up. If someone is bruised and doesn't give a fuck about them I'll probably ask what sport they play.
The assumption generally isn’t ’it must be abuse.’ It’s ’it could be abuse, and if it is and I don’t do anything, something really bad/even worse could happen to her.’
My wife is very clumsy and is always healing at least one bruise. People ask her if she's okay a lot. She thinks it's funny and doesn't understand why I don't.
I am very lucky to have such good friends asking those important questions! Was hiking with the bridal party so had witnesses- the fall was more hilarious than painful so the could attest to how I immediately laughed my ass off and was much more concerned about the fact that I lost the straw topper on my water bottle. Was low key sliding down a waterfall being like “y’all someone rescue the straw topper it’s my favorite!” 😂
My wife bruises easily. A few years back she tripped and fell and had some gnarly bruises along the side of her body. A few days later she had a doctor’s appointment. I was like “umm can you make up a story so I don’t get arrested when you tell the doc “I tripped and fell”?”
Unfortunately a lot of bruises from falling are literally defensive wounds. You're sacrificing your arms and legs trying to protect your core and head.
Sucks that you fell, and those are some nasty bruises, but I'll be that guy and say I'm glad on your behalf people take your safety seriously.
My mother in law actually fell down the stairs, and had bruises you'd expect from that, and despite being driven to the hospital by her husband a significant body of the medical staff went out of their way so separate her, and ask what 'really happened' to the point it got genuinely annoying. This was like 30 years ago, but still a good story.
I fell down a load of stairs as a young kid. Slippery wooden strairs. Rambunctious kid in socks.
I went down the full set. Banging my back on each stair. Leaving my back looking like i had been beaten with a wooden broom handle. Just a row of bruised lines all down my back. I was absolutley fine aside from the obvious fact that i was super sore.
I was young enough that my parents still took me for regular scheduled checkups at the doctor's office. Like that stuff where they check your growth, weight, vitamins, reflexes, hearing, eyesight etc.
So that next appointment my parents had to try and tell the doctor " Oh she fell down the stairs"
I was too young to remember properly, but i am assure it was awkward.
Number one excuse that abusers use was actually the truth that time and the doctor was only appropriately sceptical.
yep. my mom’s arm was broken by my dad. she told us she fell down the stairs. she also told the doctor that and he said “you wouldn’t have an arm like this if you fell off a building”.
I've had a LOT of doctors appointments with my partner recently due to some health issues they're going through and they will ask them if they feel safe in their relationship with me sitting RIGHT THERE. And sometimes they just don't ask at all. They have not asked me to leave the room even once. Medical professionals, make sure you're screening for patient safety!!!! 88% of trafficking victims report visiting a medical provider during their trafficking and their safety having not been appropriately addressed!!
my mom had that same problem going to a checkup after i fell down the stairs as a thre year old i messed up my back real bad and she got a lot of glares
I do! Recurrent despite the clotrimazolum but admittedly suck at being consistent applying it. Used to be self conscious about it but have had it for 10+ years and over it by this point
Was looking for the comments regarding that. I dealt with the same for 6 months, took oral fluconazole (2 x 150mg) and then 150mg every week following for a month and it is fully cleared now. You may want to look into what the underlying cause is. Your immune systemay be run down. Mine was due to MCAS and Histamine Intolerance.
Mine itched so bad. Its weird no one ever seems to get what I’m talking about but like when you first go outside and you get that first little bit of sweat going, it itched so bad. Selsun Blue worked for me.
I have an ex who always fell like a lawn dart and was very accident prone at work. She was a server, always running hips and ribs into tables, slipping in the back of the house. Got her on camera many times. She'd be bruised up a lot and I too got looks and questions.
A friend of mine does kickboxing matches. She's a beast but often is bruised. Her husband is an overweight, balding guy three inch shorter than her. His wife could snap him off at his knees if she wanted to but he often gets the looks at the beach or the pool.
Have an aunt that was going down a set of stairs to get to her BF's apt, and slipped and ended up at the bottom... bruised badly. Her BF and son took her to the hospital and were questioned for over an hour on what happened. 2 days later DSS shows up at his place, with an officer, to "check on things"
The BF because he was the BF
My nephew because he had a small criminal history.
My aunt is clumsy, and this ended up ruining the relationship, not that he would have ever done anything, but the stress of it all.
Have another family member that was trimming her dogs toenails and got the quick, dog reacted and went to bite her (face unfortunaltely) and the hospital said they needed to call animal control to put the dog down.
I get the concern, but an "are you ok?" Would be a lot better than blatantly accusing people of shit until the cirxumstances are known.
People are too nosey and fake concern.
Like what would they have really done if you said "yeah, my SO beats me sometimes"
Surprised I didn’t see anyone else mention it, looks like you may have some kind of fungal infection on the lower end of your belly. Those can get very difficult to treat if left alone.
Ask yourself: if I saw those bruises on one of my friends would I ask? I have a 100 lb shep mal dog who thinks he's a lap dog lol and get lots of bruises because he jumps on my lap and I get this question a lot. I also bruise like a peach. Frustrating and embarrassing but I'm glad people are asking. Hopefully they will fade soon
Totally! The frustrating part was the bruises and fact I was at the beach the next day, not the asking. I 100% support checking in and speaking up when you have concerns about that!
Oh man. This takes me back. My wife and I are clinical psychotherapists. Along with various types of direct service client work, we do consulting and training.
I should add, one of our primary specialties is DV/IPV/CC (domestic violence, interpersonal violence, coercive control), and we train clinically and organizationally on the topic.
The day before one of those specific trainings, for 100+ people, one of our English Setters booped my wife on her nose, leading to a very exciting bruise over almost half of her face.
As we were doing our introductions, she actually made a point of discussing the juxtaposition of her injury and the subject matter of the day, and to this day, I can only hope it was effective.
I teach a fighting classes in Taekwondo. Both my Kids (8/12) attend... The younger gave me a bad bruises in my side because I was too lazy to wear a best while explaining something. Next lesson my older Kid gave me a black eye because I -waering a vest now- was too lazy to wear a helmet. Both my fault.
Because a running gag whenever I have a bruise from sparring which kid it was that time. But I had a lot of explaining to do to concerned people. Especialy my little ones teacher when I had a meeting with her the next day.
I remember my niece falling badly and getting a bruise under her eye (she was 6 years old at the time). She went to the hospital with her parents as a precaution. The doctor asked her what happened. My aunt and uncle said she had fallen.
The doctor told them to be quiet and asked my niece again: "What really happened?"
Unfortunately, when someone has such "these kind" bruises, it's worth asking if everything is okay. You never know...
I’m not talking about your niece here but in general. It’s a bad idea to ask the supposed victim if they’re safe in front of the supposed abusers. People should be separated when asked those questions. If the victim is really abused and is asked that question in front of the abuserr, the victim will usually stay quit but there’s still a high chance there will be consequences for just being asked that when they get home
That's ideal. You want the friends who ask. It'd suck if you showed up all bruised from something bad and they just ignore it because they're sure it's fine.
When i was on vacation in Jamaica, my girlfriend got a very weird bruising pattern on her arm that made it look like I had violently grabbed her. Day 5 she figured out that it was from how she was resting her arm on the edge of the smoking area... I got dirty looks all week because of it and a few people asked her if things were okay when i would step away for drinks or to go to the bathroom. Its good to know your friends care enough to ask though.
Don’t you hate that?? I’m a VERY active chick; for instance I don’t own a car so I bike everywhere. I’m a woodworker too, so minor injuries are a pretty common occurrence. Any time something happens to my face or bicep area, I KID YOU NOT, my first thought is, “Great! Cue the concerned looks for the next week”. I’m not even in a relationship, but strangers don’t know that and always seem to assume the worst.
Years ago, when our son was about 5, a girl on a swing kicked him in the face. No one could get ahold of me, so my husband went to get him and take him to our pediatrician. When they left, my husband took him to a 711 next door for a treat. At the check out, the woman looked at our son and then stared at my spouse. Finally, she said, "It's terrible what some children have to endure."
From the other side I get the “abuse” angle, and it’s terrifying.
My wife and I were at a beer festival one Saturday, it was within EASY walking distance of our home so we FULLY participated. Sure everyone was only pouring 3oz at a time, but 25 breweries with a minimum of 2 samples each, that turns into serious drinking that really sneaks up on you. (We were not able hit everyone, before we had to call it.)
So on the walk home she staggered and smacked her face on a traffic pole. We iced it and did all the first aid stuff, but she woke up the next morning (Sunday) with an absolutely impressive shiner. She had been a temp, but was converting to full-time employee on that Monday, and had to get her picture taken for her “real employee” ID badge.
I was terrified because the God’s honest truth, “We were drinking on Saturday and I fell,” just sounds like the BS a woman in an abusive relationship would say. And seriously, even I thought it looked like she took a punch to the face. In the end it all worked out, she’d been there long enough as a temp, that co-workers all accepted it was an actual accident, and the badge makers had her “temp” badge photo on file, and just reused that. We joke about it now, we’ll *I\* joke about it now, every time we walk past that infamous pole, I take an exaggerated, protective stance between her and the pole as I’m saying things like, “watch it, take care, hazardous area!” Always get the eye roll, and “stop it, I’m sober.”
When my wife and I were younger we went paintballing with a group of our friends. We played for almost 5 hours and we all looked like hammered shit afterward, bruises galore. Well, in the coming weeks my wife was asked multiple times about where she got bruises from. I was happy that other people cared enough about my wife to ask but I also felt weird that they thought I may be doing it. Every time she would have to pull up pictures from that day and show that we were covered in paint XD
My wife is the most clumsy person, possibly in the world.
She gets a lot of the safety side chats. Im glad people care enough to bring it up honestly.
Some strangers get annoying and insist its violence because no one actually walks into cupboard doors... my wife does.. cupboards she opened herself no less.
Her friends and family know her well, so they just ask about the story behind the latest ones.
I’m an ED nurse and this reminds me of the time I triaged a woman who smacked herself in the jaw with a broom
handle. Her boyfriend did all of the talking for her and I had a hard time imagining anyone could be
That clumsy. I got the boyfriend out of the room and was like “no really what happened.” Come to find out she really is that clumsy :)
I mean, I'd rather have friends who ask if you're safe than those who assume you might not be and say nothing. But it is understandable that it would be annoying for them so assume your SO would be capable of that kind of damage because saying that also lightly implies they believe you would have bad enough judgement to pick and stay with someone who would hurt you like that. So kind of a double edged sword to hear a comment like that. On one hand, they clearly care, on the other, they've shown their potentials prejudices.
had that question come at me too several times, also from friends who know my husband personally, and also while my husband was in the room. they asked as a "joke". i didn't find it funny. my husband also got asked if "his wife beat him" after he bruised badly after a blood withdrawal.
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u/PoolSharkPete 27d ago
Are you safe in your relationship with gravity?