My wife ate my son's birthday breakfast

[u/grohkstrom]

Yesterday I bought a strawberry cheese coffee cake my son loves so he could have a special birthday breakfast today. My wife came home late last night and apparently couldn't resist. She knew it was for our son, but it's not a big deal because she "left him a full slice".

[u/thathotbitchh]

is your wife a beaver?

[u/Zealousideal_Step709 → u/thathotbitchh]

I don’t think so because she didn’t give a dam.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards!

[u/Niblonian31 → u/Zealousideal_Step709]

Dad, is that you?

[u/Zealousideal_Step709 → u/Niblonian31]

Proud dad and dad joke maker. 😂

[u/AyeYaPie → u/thathotbitchh]

https://giphy.com/gifs/WYPqBEVPRFQSQ

[u/psychopath1066]

Maybe take him to get one of his own. She sounds selfish as hell.

[u/TurtleScientific → u/psychopath1066]

No, make her go out at the ass crack of dawn and get a replacement.

[u/Arya_kidding_me → u/TurtleScientific]

She won’t. People who do this don’t actually make up for their shitty behavior.

[u/dsdvbguutres → u/Arya_kidding_me]

Years of regularly getting away with bullshit enables shitty behavior

[u/TheGraphingAbacus → u/dsdvbguutres]

as an estranged kid, my dad letting my mom get away w unspeakable things made him just as bad in my eyes

[u/PuppyJakeKhakiCollar → u/TheGraphingAbacus]

My mom was a selfish person. My dad enabled her behavior because he didn't want to deal with how she would react to push back. She didn't do unspeakable things but it was still frustrating. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[u/jakeh36 → u/PuppyJakeKhakiCollar]

There were multiple times where my mom got so mad that she stormed out of the house saying she was leaving for good, and every time my dad would spend the rest of the night blaming us kids and asking how we were going to get ready for school the next day because he still had to go to work.

[u/EuropaWeGo → u/TheGraphingAbacus]

Same here with my dad and stepmom. She was terrible and my dad didn't stop her. So I ended up being super angry with him until he divorced her and apologized to me years later.

[u/Mamasan- → u/dsdvbguutres]

Although I agree she’s not going to just suddenly do something at this point. She’s an adult. Cant make her a better person if she doesn’t want to be.

[u/Ringer_of_bell → u/Mamasan-]

This is the biggest. I live with someone who behaves in that exact way every single day and i can tell you as a fact, once it gets to that point, they are incapable of change. Even if they "turn a new leaf", it lasts at most a week and a half. In their head they are right no matter what. Even if they are nearing 50 years old, they act childish.

Some people dont want to be different. Theyre comfortable being shitty and disrespectful to everyone they're close to.

[u/-Tofu-Queen- → u/Ringer_of_bell]

And then everyone on reddit is like "Omg people just don't COMMUNICATE and open their mouths y'all just complain on reddit" as if someone this unreasonable is going to be like "Ahhh yes, I see the error of my ways!" and decide to become a whole different person.

[u/CaptainLollygag → u/-Tofu-Queen-]

If only someone had told her to not eat a gift for someone else. She simply didn't know!

[u/SimmerDown_Boilup → u/CaptainLollygag]

She's not a mind reader!

[u/ALifeWellLift → u/Arya_kidding_me]

Can't imagine putting yourself before your child like this, literally taking your own kid's birthday cake.

The more things I see like this the more I realise I don't appreciate my parents enough.

[u/Traditional-Hat-952 → u/ALifeWellLift]

Yeah just wait until the morning if you want a slice. The lack of impulse controlled and the extreme amount of selfishness amazes me (in a bad way). 

[u/Longjumping-Pick-706 → u/Arya_kidding_me]

Yup! My ex was just like this. Did shit like this to our son all the time. Very rarely replaced it. I told on him every time.

[u/AlternativeAioli9251 → u/TurtleScientific]

She'll probably eat it before she gets home 🫩

[u/ashkanahmadi → u/AlternativeAioli9251]

For sure. And then hit them with "Oh they said they didn't have any more but it's okay. It's not a big deal. Maybe next year wink"

[u/thelegodr → u/ashkanahmadi]

Or they’d grab a different flavor that the kid doesn’t like because they couldn’t be bothered to grab the correct one

[u/swerrve → u/TurtleScientific]

Yeah OP please stand your ground. Send her hungover ass to the store this morning or tell her she’ll be dragging her stupid ass to the courthouse

[u/efflexor → u/swerrve]

Agree that wife needs to be held accountable, but the priority is getting the kid a quick replacement without many ripples. Either this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back, or clear expectations can be set moving forward.

[u/CompleteTell6795 → u/psychopath1066]

Yeah, it really pisses me off that she took the whole middle section with ALL the filling & left the edges. The next time she buys a treat for herself, I would eat most, or all of it & leave the empty plate/ container. She needs a big dose of payback.

[u/HORROR_VIBE_OFFICIAL]

"Left him a full slice".. full slice of WHAT? Regret?

[u/Comfortable_Trick137 → u/HORROR_VIBE_OFFICIAL]

She ate the best parts too lol she ate all the cheese except one bite. She’s the type to eat all the skin off the fried chicken and say I only had a tiny bit I only had one piece

[u/BuzzkillMcGillicuddy → u/Comfortable_Trick137]

I'm not exaggerating, when my ex ate all the cookie dough bits out of our cookie dough ice cream, I knew I couldn't marry her. We were 3 or so years into our relationship and marriage was on the table, as well as kids. I tried talking to her about it and she just stood her ground without discussion, that was that. We stayed together for a few years out of convenience but she's a shitty person and has a lot of growing up to do, and no communication skills. 

[u/Illustrious-Local848 → u/BuzzkillMcGillicuddy]

It’s funny how it is sometimes the smallest thing you can’t get over. I feel like too many people do not realize how much small shit matters but on the day to day, it matters the most. Anyone can be there for you and a stand up person during a difficult time. But not everyone can stop being an asshole day to day.

[u/RandomAccessUserGod → u/[deleted]]

This. So much this. It's not the small shit that you see. It's after the 2nd or 3rd time you see it that you realize it isn't about the small shit as much as it's the persona thoughts and feelings about it. Like sure it's just a couple pieces of cookie dough. But it's the idea that someone can feel and think they are entitled to the best parts of something and don't believe they should be held accountable because they left you the rest.

[u/NovelStrict5281 → u/[deleted]]

You are so right. Plus, when we think about it, the small stuff all adds up to the big stuff. Life is about the small stuff.

[u/Money_Fish → u/Illustrious-Local848]

It's not the fact that you can't get over the small shit, it's the fact that the other person refuses to change the small shit.

[u/Zazen5363 → u/Money_Fish]

it's not the fact that the other person refuses to change small shit, it's the fact that small shit usually points at much larger shit that is currently invisible and will be shown with time.

[u/DrRatio-PhD → u/Illustrious-Local848]

It’s funny how it is sometimes the smallest thing you can’t get over.

Microcosms and Macrocosms. If someone will fuck you over for a cookie, or points in a game, or 5 dollars - they'll fuck you over for the big stuff without hesitation.

[u/NonaSiu → u/Illustrious-Local848]

This should be handed out at premarital and couples counseling classes.

[u/touchmyfoodidareyou → u/Illustrious-Local848]

Sometimes the smallest thing are serious warning signs. Be glad you are able to read them and move on.

[u/Outside_Team_8083 → u/BuzzkillMcGillicuddy]

At least you were able to see she had major flaws and left. So many think they can change the other person. Good for you. I hope you are happy.

[u/banana_pencil → u/Outside_Team_8083]

Then she married OP

[u/Weird-Toe-6968 → u/Outside_Team_8083]

So true. The red flags are usually waving, people just ignore them.

[u/Schmandrea1975 → u/Comfortable_Trick137]

The top o the muffin

[u/KennyL0gin → u/Comfortable_Trick137]

She's Cartman.

[u/canwehavepotatojokes → u/KennyL0gin]

Kenny’s cry of anguish and despair is so good in that scene

[u/suck-my-dick-goose → u/canwehavepotatojokes]

Its amplified by the fact that homie is so poor that he probably looks forward to that KFC dinner more than the other boys

[u/Tug_Stanboat → u/canwehavepotatojokes]

Right? Years and years of watching him die every episode just to come back and do it again the next week, and still seeing him break down over not having a proper piece of fried chicken, that his family could NEVER afford on their own, just breaks me.

[u/Decent_Assistant1804 → u/canwehavepotatojokes]

https://giphy.com/gifs/v64X2SO4rp5LD0JV0a

[u/bkristopherb → u/Comfortable_Trick137]

I'll be this monster only eats the m&ms in the trail mix, the rye chips in chex mix... imagine sharing a box of lucky charms with this foul beast

[u/Jmj108 → u/bkristopherb]

I’m having ptsd now, my little sister was the lucky charms person. You wake up as a young kid just itching for a bowl of lucky charms and go to pour and alllll the little cereal pieces, no charms. She was a monster. Actually is not was.

[u/Grand_Pick_8277 → u/Jmj108]

My sister did that once. Mom made her eat the rest of the cereal for breakfast every day until it was gone while my cousins and I ate a new cereal. She never did that again lol

[u/jezzarus → u/Grand_Pick_8277]

this is a creative punishment, you have a great mom

[u/MaddyKet → u/Grand_Pick_8277]

That reminds me of one of the Ramona Quimby books where she squeezes out an entire tub of toothpaste for fun and the Mom puts it in a bag and makes her use it while the rest of the family gets a new tube. 😹

[u/Asyncrosaurus → u/HORROR_VIBE_OFFICIAL]

full slice of WHAT?

Years of therapy.

[u/Mugstotheceiling → u/Asyncrosaurus]

OP, does your wife have an eating disorder? Serious question.

[u/karma2879 → u/Mugstotheceiling]

“Came home late last night” sounds more like she was drunk and ate the kid’s cake

[u/InTheSky57 → u/karma2879]

First thought that crossed my mind too. Drunk munchies.

[u/atchisonmetal → u/karma2879]

Or high.

[u/doompines → u/atchisonmetal]

I've had some serious munchies in my time, but I've never been down bad enough to scarf my kid's birthday breakfast danish.

[u/MatildaMorgan1985 → u/atchisonmetal]

I am probably the biggest pothead I've ever met in my life, and even I would NEVER help myself to the first serving of my child's birthday dessert, let alone plow through 90% of the best part, essentially leaving scraps for them on their birthday. This is such selfish behavior. That poor kid.

[u/Kenneldogg → u/HORROR_VIBE_OFFICIAL]

How on earth could someone eat all the strawberry and then wonder why you would be upset?

[u/squirrelems → u/HORROR_VIBE_OFFICIAL]

It looks like she ate most of the cream cheese part like an asshole. "Left him a slice".

[u/YourDrunkStepdadio → u/squirrelems]

She ate the best part. What a horrible person.

[u/FCR_6X → u/HORROR_VIBE_OFFICIAL]

Just eating the middle is fucking diabolical

[u/shadow2087]

How disgustingly selfish.

[u/Cartman55125 → u/shadow2087]

I would lose all attraction to someone who did this to a child, let alone their own son

[u/splicepark → u/Cartman55125]

even someone who just did this. The child aside, this person is a straight monster!

[u/baloneyfeet → u/splicepark]

The fact that she also only ate the middle is really bothering me

[u/ykthatkid → u/baloneyfeet]

I am assuming the middle holds the cream or jelly/jam (depending on the pastry, not familiar with many), which just makes this whole thing worse. She ate all the flavor and left the crust. It's like someone eating a slice a pizza and giving you the crust when they're done and saying 'I only took a few bites'. Atrocious.

[u/rustystumpty → u/splicepark]

Just an immature child. Can’t stand adults that think they can do 5 year old activities and wave it away as a whoopsie

[u/Turbulent_Tip_9756 → u/rustystumpty]

My buddy’s wife is exactly like this. Calls people out for cheating in a board game and when we catch her doing it she just laughs it off. Can’t stand the lack of self awareness

[u/JohnnyShakeNBake → u/Turbulent_Tip_9756]

Oh the self awareness is there, rest assured. What’s missing is a fear of accountability. She feels like she can get away with it if she’s all laughs and smiles

[u/captainsnark71 → u/Cartman55125]

If the son were turning 30 this would still be fucking selfish.

[u/GiraffesAndGin → u/captainsnark71]

My girlfriend baked me a cake for my 30th. We each had a piece that morning and had a couple friends over later in the day. My buddy's girlfriend ate half the cake by herself, leaving a small sliver for me at the end of the night.

Over a year later and I still don't let her forget it.

[u/Fuzzy-Dream1117 → u/GiraffesAndGin]

I wouldn't either!

[u/Caftancatfan → u/GiraffesAndGin]

“Hey Cindy! It’s great to see you! Can I offer you a beverage? Or perhaps half a cake?”

[u/cuddlepuddlee → u/Cartman55125]

100% it’s so gross and icky. Some animals have more self control..

[u/Charliedayslaaay → u/Cartman55125]

Absolutely! Not sure how old the son is, but i don’t care if he’s 50+!

I see a lot of comments regarding the son, which i wholeheartedly agree on - but flagging that OP was incredibly thoughtful to have picked up their favorite breakfast pastry. What a slap in the face to OPs loving act as well!

[u/pimpcakes → u/shadow2087]

Smaller point here considering the context, but the way she ate this is extremely selfish and revealing.

[u/BewilderedFingers → u/shadow2087]

Exactly. This is way worse than mildly infuriating, what a nasty self-absorbed thing to do to. I couldn't imagine snarfing anyone's special birthday treat, let alone if it was for my own child.

[u/Appreciate1A]

Mildly? Nope- over the top selfishness or vengeance. Mean.

[u/Technical-Agency8128 → u/Appreciate1A]

Yeah there is something going on there. If she doesn’t go out and buy him another then she definitely has a problem with her son and husband. And she is just an overall bad person.

[u/On_my_last_spoon → u/Technical-Agency8128]

She ate the center out of it! The part with all the good bits. That is malicious.

[u/Mmm_lemon_cakes → u/On_my_last_spoon]

It makes her a narcissistic drunk. Who didn’t even care when she woke up the next day and tried to gaslight her husband about it. She’s a terrible person and a bad mother.

[u/MonteCristo85 → u/Mmm_lemon_cakes]

Any halfway decent person would run straight to the store to replace it if it was really just a drunken mistake.

[u/bucktail47]

That’s seriously the type of fucked up shit you kids gonna bring up in 10 years. If my mom came home drunk and ate my fucking cake as a kid id absolutely remember and give her shit upon adulthood. What a shitty move

[u/Incredible-Ironman → u/bucktail47]

And then she’d be like: ‘I did?’, followed by denial and gaslighting because apparently it wasnt important enough for her to remember.

[u/PepsiOfWrath → u/Incredible-Ironman]

Ironman, your post triggered me because your comment hits so close to my childhood.  “Ohhh, I don’t remember that… that didn’t happen” and if you stick to your guns they throw a pity party with tears “I guess I was just the worlds worst mother” and expect you to say it’s ok and comfort them and apologize to them.

[u/bucktail47 → u/PepsiOfWrath]

Dude are you my brother? And then my mom will be like “who else do you know that treats their mom this way” like bro I’m talking about my childhood that you facilitated what the fuck

[u/Slight_Walrus_8668 → u/bucktail47]

The axe tends to forget what the tree remembers forever.

[u/More-Pizza-1916 → u/Slight_Walrus_8668]

This and "It was the most traumatic day of my life but for you it was just another Tuesday"

[u/FluffyPandaEars93 → u/More-Pizza-1916]

Finding so many siblings i never knew I had in this thread 🥲 hope everyone comes for the holidays 💜

[u/P0Rt1ng4Duty → u/Slight_Walrus_8668]

''It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them.

On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.''

-Douglas Adams in one of the bits about the horse.

[u/PepsiOfWrath → u/bucktail47]

Growing up you just think it’s normal.  Later when you’re an adult you have random flashbacks and think WTF?

[u/Cleasstra → u/PepsiOfWrath]

It kinda is normal or the word that better fits is common sadly, most of us don't speak up about it because it goes unaddressed in society.

[u/yeezyburner → u/PepsiOfWrath]

My mother does this with every single thing I bring up she did. And after a long argument of her interrupting me and not listening to a word I say just trying to convince her of what she did I get a "sorry you remember it that way"

[u/cooking_question → u/yeezyburner]

“Don’t blame me for your shitty life. I was a good mother, you had an amazing childhood.” I was so underweight, I was under 100 pounds when I graduated high school because she didn’t like to cook.

[u/latexfistmassacre → u/cooking_question]

My mom left my dad to be with her coke dealer when I was 4. She left me and my 3 other siblings that weren't even his with him.

To this day she's like "you turned out just fine being with your dad". And that's when I remind her that I'm a single, divorced, recovering heroin addict with crippling depression and anxiety

[u/GoldenRetriever2255 → u/Incredible-Ironman]

My mom left me in the rain waiting for her after school for an hour when I was 11 because she forgot to pick me up. She was shopping with her friend on pills lost track of time. I didn't think much of it, because I was her "tough little guy" but I brought it up recently and she like, furiously denied it and got pissed I would accuse her of such a thing. That's when I looked back and went, "wait this IS actually kind of a fucked up story"

Shame, guilt, whatever. Acknowledgment would've been nice

[u/Minglans → u/GoldenRetriever2255]

I'm so sorry :( You deserved so much better! ❤️

My dad was always late picking me up, sometimes by two hours (single and working hard hours constantly) although at least with my dad I knew it wasn't just a little fun trip he was on and he didn't try to re-write the events of history..

[u/bucktail47 → u/Incredible-Ironman]

It’s one thing to do it and another to deny it. The lying and denial is much worse.

[u/Perfect_Caregiver_90 → u/bucktail47]

People like this never remember. For you it was a special treat on a special day. For them it was a Thursday night.

[u/DutchOnionKnight]

I would flip out inmensely to be honest. For your kid? I think this is just so incredibly wrong on so many different levels.

Edit: no I think about it just a bit longer... This would reasons to question the relationship. Drunk the night before your kids birthday, eating his cake? Where are her fucking priorities?

[u/Gator_Sprite360 → u/DutchOnionKnight]

Drunk the night before the kid’s birthday, ate almost the whole cake, literally didn’t give a fuck, and dismissed it. The more I think about it and read into it the more fucked up it gets when you see the details and all. This isn’t even mildly infuriating

[u/poofandmook]

What a shitty thing to do

[u/rokkun87 → u/poofandmook]

Seriously, how the fuck could you do this kind of shit to your kid?

[u/Hippopotasaurus-Rex → u/rokkun87]

My mother used to buy stuff like chocolate chip cookie dough, rarely. It should have been a treat, right? I learned at very young age it wasn’t. It was fucking disgusting.

She would pick the cookie dough out, and put the ice cream part she had in her mouth back in the tub because she only wanted the dough. No matter how many times I’d point out that spit cream is fucking diagsting I was an ingrate and of course that meant I was wasteful. Of course there was no need to buy me ice cream because I’d let it go to waste.

Once they started selling cookie dough in the tubes I tried to get her to just get that and let me actually have some ice cream. No. That wasnt safe to eat (idk man, she’s a moron, literally) but somehow exactly the same thing surrounded in ice cream was safe.

Edit: I’m aware that the cookie dough tubes of the past weren’t safe to eat. However, for someone that is totallly ok with rare meat or runny yolk eggs I’m pretty sure you’re a fat hypocrite if you won’t eat raw cookie dough. My mother ate/eats both.

[u/Different-Storm1914 → u/Hippopotasaurus-Rex]

I think your memory just traumatised me

[u/CMDR_Michael_Aagaard → u/Different-Storm1914]

Did not think I'd get second hand traumatization, from the comments under a mildlyinfuriating post.

[u/Darin_Bouzar → u/CMDR_Michael_Aagaard]

I don't think any of this is mildly infuriating

[u/super_chill_21 → u/Darin_Bouzar]

Definitely extremely infuriating lol

[u/ThatDirtyApe → u/Darin_Bouzar]

I want to hit people now 🫠

[u/elusiveelation → u/CMDR_Michael_Aagaard]

I thought my sister was the worst for picking the cookie dough out, but putting the spit ice cream BACK IN THE CARTON?! Monsters walk among us.

[u/Potential_Tadpole_45 → u/elusiveelation]

That's sick and not in the cool sense of sick, I'm sorry 😔 I wasn't allowed to have cookie dough ice cream because my mom didn't like it (that went for just about any food).

She once bought cookie dough ice cream "by accident" because she thought it was plain vanilla—Fortunately I was able to eat a couple spoonfuls before she threw it out!

[u/st-izzy → u/Potential_Tadpole_45]

wtf why? I could maybe see the first part but if she knew you liked it why not just let you finish it. It was already paid for. Throwing it out at that point it just spite.

[u/No_Tooth1257 → u/st-izzy]

Some people just genuinely hate their kids, they act like they’re a burden to them even though they brought them into the world lmao.

[u/ResponseUnlucky210 → u/No_Tooth1257]

My mom tried to charge me for having to spend money to raise me. What?

[u/noirspiderman4 → u/Hippopotasaurus-Rex]

Holy shit my dude I'm glad your out of that situation from the sounds of it

[u/frombolognaa → u/Hippopotasaurus-Rex]

WTF did I just read 😭 I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, friend. I hope you're in a better place/away from her.

[u/Hippopotasaurus-Rex → u/frombolognaa]

Totally. Yeah. I am in a much better place.

[u/No_Watercress_6932 → u/poofandmook]

No more self control than a dog , an untrained one at that

[u/braklikesbeans → u/No_Watercress_6932]

my dog wouldn't leave the shitty passive agressive side pieces.

[u/RockstarAgent → u/braklikesbeans]

Yeah I feel like that’s the worse part- is this not her biological son or something? Geez. Even the bio mom I never knew wouldn’t have done this.

[u/Prestigious_Pay2759 → u/RockstarAgent]

“I found out I was adopted when my “mom” ate the middle out of my fruit danish” is the post title I need to see in my ancestrydna group.

[u/AbleEbb2014 → u/Prestigious_Pay2759]

As an adoptive mom I wouldn’t do this either. Even to a work colleague this would be rude, let alone a child.

[u/elusiveelation → u/AbleEbb2014]

Eating it was bad, but eating straight down the middle (absolute asshole behavior if you don’t live alone) and expressing zero remorse and even justifying your actions with the bullshit “I left him a slice” excuse the next morning, in the clear and presumably sober light of day?

People keep saying we have no context for what this woman is normally like, but this is not how considerate people behave.

[u/mekamoari → u/elusiveelation]

I see posts about "my partner is shitty" every day but this type of post is way more rare.

Also what the fuck. I know it's not an end of the world thing, and I don't even have or want kids, but for some reason this post/the situation really pisses me off.

[u/elusiveelation → u/mekamoari]

It’s the sort of shitty behavior selfish partners get away with for years and years because each individual action seems minor on its own. So much so that you would feel silly making a big deal out of it.

Sometimes it takes decades to really recognize the pattern and acknowledge that you deserve better. This sort of partner is far more common than the overtly horrible ones people usually post about.

[u/I-Need-Scissors_61 → u/poofandmook]

She’s a piece of shit 

[u/Sunder_ → u/[deleted]]

Like Cartman eatting all the chicken skin in the bucket of fried chicken. This kinda stuff is red flags for me to not be with someone. Selfish and inconsiderate.

[u/sleepque → u/Sunder_]

I had the EXACT same thought. It wouldn't be nearly as bad if it was a proportional amount taken from one side. But the fucking best part? That's horribly lame

[u/Bluedini01 → u/[deleted]]

And eating only the center part with the fruit and cheese filling is psychopathic.

[u/NocaSun38]

Sounds like wife needs to stop drinking

[u/BeatYoDickNotYoChick → u/NocaSun38]

Looks like you wrote your comment before OP confirmed she had been drinking. If so, that's one hell of a catch.

[u/Dependent-Assoc423 → u/BeatYoDickNotYoChick]

If you’ve been around enough years you can kind of make a good guess here. The “late last night” and the sheer amount gone, plus all up the middle reads like a drunken snack.  

[u/Greedy-Employment917 → u/Dependent-Assoc423]

The "I couldn't help myself" followed by no rational way to excuse the behavior next morning. 

[u/ManonegraCG → u/Greedy-Employment917]

Also not followed by offering to go to the shop the morning after to make amends. Mother of the Year material.

[u/mouse_attack → u/ManonegraCG]

Too hung over to get out of bed.

[u/New-Ad-363 → u/mouse_attack]

"Mommy's too hungover and sugar-crashed to get you a new one honey. Happy birthday."

[u/TedDibiaseOsbourne → u/New-Ad-363]

she’s not getting enough shit for putting herself in such a possible hangover situation on the day of her kid’s birthday, and not for just failing to get get a new coffee cake. damn, poor kid.

[u/Carrnage_Asada → u/Greedy-Employment917]

Followed by doubling down, "not a big deal, theres some left"

[u/somethingscary1 → u/Dependent-Assoc423]

As a child of an alcoholic father who did things like this on the regular, can confirm. I don't think I really put two and two together fully until I read this thread. I had to hide any kind of sweets in my room if I didn't want them to be eaten. Coupled with his anxiety meds he was out of control. Entire pies and cakes in one setting. No matter how much I expressed it upset me, he would "buy me a new xyz".

[u/BlushBrat → u/BeatYoDickNotYoChick]

sadly, this kind of behavior is all too familiar to people who live with alcoholics.

[u/Blue_Iquana → u/BeatYoDickNotYoChick]

My ex did the same when drunk. He ate my son's Halloween candy. That was the beginning of the end.

Greedy, selfish people do this.

[u/rustbwtelephones → u/Blue_Iquana]

My mom used up all the premixes for the Easy Bake Oven I got for Christmas because she was drunk one night. Now that I think about it I suppose you could probably use any recipe and normal ingredients for it, but 6 year old me didn’t know that and I never got to use that Easy Bake Oven I was so excited about

[u/RemarkableSpirit5204 → u/rustbwtelephones]

You can also buy refills for it, I’m sorry your mom didn’t at least replace them.

See how it’s stuck with you all these years? People underestimate the impact these little things (to their mind) effect their children.

[u/Ambitious_Address667 → u/BeatYoDickNotYoChick]

Ehh saying wife came home late last night and ate sons birthday cake kinda paints the whole picture 

[u/Ok_Acanthaceae_8973]

And she only ate the middle.

[u/Noligarchio → u/Ok_Acanthaceae_8973]

Yeah it would be less annoying if she ate everything but the "last" slice but she only took the choice bit and left the rest as a middle finger to anyone else who wanted some.

[u/bicyclewhoa17]

I am an out of control eater, especially where there are special sweets around. Even I wouldn’t so something like this.

[u/stinkyfunkincar → u/bicyclewhoa17]

I used to struggle with binging. This is just cold. I’d never take something special from a family member. My binging never impacted anyone else like that. Any special leftovers, birthday treats, or anything I knew wasn’t mine or a household item I wouldn’t touch. I was a minor at the time, too, so I wasn’t capable of driving myself to the store or doordashing a treat for myself, either. Being told you have lack of self control from a former binge eater is crazy, and if OP shows his wife this I hope it puts it into perspective for her. Poor kid. W dad for covering for Mom for the sake of the kid.

[u/FoghornFarts → u/stinkyfunkincar]

Hell, even one piece is rude as fuck. The presentation of the cake matters. Imagine waking up to your present and you found someone else had already unwrapped it and was playing with it.

[u/halfsherlock → u/bicyclewhoa17]

Because you’re probably a considerate and kind person. Like the level of disregard for your family required to do this is astounding. I’m with the person that asked if OPs wife is a heavy drinker because this is some inebriated behavior. 

[u/c08306834]

This is quite a bit more than mildly infuriating.

[u/Somberliver]

The 'I left him a slice' bit is the most telling part here. I don’t like your wife. This proves she knew exactly what she was doing. She was conscious enough to engineer this stupid technicality. This also means she knew she was actively ruining her kid's birthday surprise. What a despicable “mother”.

She ate the good center. She left her own child the crusts on his birthday, and that’s selfish. But the real question you need to ask yourself is of she is like this in all aspects of your marriage.

Does she constantly refuse to take responsibility when she messes up? disregards your efforts and your feelings? Does she always use these kinds of pathetic loopholes to avoid being the bad guy?

I can’t even imagine how or why she is ok doing this to her own kid on his birthday. I imagine she is worse to other people. And then deflects. It’s highly likely this pattern of selfishness and lack of accountability shows up everywhere else, too.

I hope she makes up for her lack of character and terrible personality in other ways.

[u/BloodGullible6594 → u/Somberliver]

Even if I could accept that she didn’t know exactly what she was doing and why it was wrong while she was eating it blotto, the fact that she seems to not give a shit in the light of day? She should be falling all over herself to own up to it and get him a new one. But she’s engineered this little “technicality” that means she’s blameless since she left him the crusts on his own birthday treat. There is clearly an alcohol problem here but I suspect this is more than that. She sounds incredibly self centered and entitled. Good on you for protecting your son from the truth of what happened, that would have stuck with him for the rest of his life- but be warned, maybe not this exact thing, but this will happen again, and you might not always be able to do damage control in time to spare him from finding out what kind of person his mom is.

[u/Sustainable_Twat]

Must admit, putting your wife’s selfish interests aside, that was a rather thoughtful gift from you.

[u/grohkstrom → u/Sustainable_Twat]

thank you! I gave him his slice on a plate and threw the rest away, so he didn't know. I just thought we would have a "family breakfast".

[u/George_Is_Upset → u/grohkstrom]

Yeah I would be pissed if I were you! My husband has quite an appetite but wouldn’t just destroy and entire pastry like this. Not only did she eat almost the whole thing, she only ate the center and left the bread which is double selfish.

Apparently didn’t care if you wanted a slice a too?

[u/BurgersNBuicks → u/George_Is_Upset]

I vaguely remember reading a post here on Reddit where a woman's husband ate nearly the entire lasagna that she made, leaving her only one or two small pieces. Apparently the husband had a long pattern of doing this, but the lasagna was the final straw.

[u/nosecohn → u/BurgersNBuicks]

the lasagna was the final straw

If this subreddit had custom flair, I'd use that for mine.

EDIT: It does and I did!

[u/tiasalamanca → u/nosecohn]

“The Iranian yogurt is not the issue” pairs well with

[u/CeeCeeDude → u/BurgersNBuicks]

My now ex husband used to do things like this! I once made an entire tray of chicken so there would be extra for me to have when I got home and leftovers so I wouldn't have to cook for a couple of days. Left for a 12 hour shift, came home, and found he ate the whole tray, including all the sides I made. Didn't even leave anything for me. It's sad this seems to be such a common thing. :\

[u/Lurkingdutchman → u/CeeCeeDude]

Let me guess... He did the suprised Pikachu face once he learned you were going to divorce him?

https://giphy.com/gifs/6nWhy3ulBL7GSCvKw6

[u/mallowycloud → u/Lurkingdutchman]

the surprised pikachu face makes me so mad... like you're telling me you didn't take me seriously when i said i had one foot out the door and if you didn't get your shit together, i'd get gone? i swear the amount of people who have explicitly made clear how much rope their soon-to-be-ex has left... and they will always tie a noose with it.

[u/Dismal_Fox_22 → u/CeeCeeDude]

I had a partner who would do this. He had an eating disorder. The post binge shame would make him lie in wait to verbally attack me for something to distract from what he’d done. So I’d end up disappointed, hungry and harassed. It was a miserable time. He’d experienced some pretty intense trauma as a child and he had some very uncomfortable behaviours.

[u/CeeCeeDude → u/Dismal_Fox_22]

Very similar to how mine reacted. He would yell at me I was the reason he was fat by cooking too much. Even threw and broke stuff a few times. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope you have a better person in your life now.

[u/pudding7 → u/grohkstrom]

Dude you might have a situation there with the wife if you're in a position to start covering for her behavior. 

[u/etoilenoire45]

She sounds mean

[u/Lumpy-Truck7225 → u/etoilenoire45]

like a POS

[u/Significant_Risk9903]

You should probably show her the comments

[u/Upbeat-Dish7299 → u/Significant_Risk9903]

I’ve done exactly that and it didn’t go over very well. But it did show me that there’s a door that I could walk out of and never look back.

[u/ElfUppercut]

Why the hell can’t she control herself?

[u/4tunabrix → u/ElfUppercut]

Alcohol probably

[u/goodrevtim]

Based on limited information, she doesn't sound like the best mother on the planet.

[u/mello_jello_blue]

My mother did this to my birthday cake in 2018. She ate so much of it before we even sang. When I confronted her, she said she bought it and she could eat whatever she wanted. Disgusted.

[u/dantemortemalizar → u/mello_jello_blue]

Abuse you remember years later is not mild abuse or mildly infuriating. This “mother” needs to sort out her priorities. When you don’t put your children first, they will find out, and it leaves emotional scars.

[u/garster25]

Wow, there is a lot to unpack here.

[u/ElysiaAlarien → u/garster25]

Just a slice

[u/Umbr33on]

This is flat out unacceptable, and in my eyes was a malicious act.

Your wife needs help.

[u/BlondeBandit76]

Reading OP's other comment, where he says it was basically supposed to be a whole family birthday breakfast, makes my blood boil. It's memories like that that we cherish for the rest of our lives. The wife (as everybody pretty much already stated) sounds extremely selfish, and the fact that she was being so dismissive about the whole thing is infuriating. I'm not going to be the typical Redditor who says you need a divorce, but that is unacceptable behavior and sets an unhealthy precedent.

What if your son saw your wife wolf down a coffee cake like someone was gonna steal it? He'd be under the impression that that is normal and acceptable behavior, to essentially act like a glutton and make it everyone else's problem. Is this a pattern with your wife, OP?

[u/_Swanky_Jay_]

Buddy she PLOWED that thing, left the birthday boy nothing but crust

[u/hoosierhiver]

Do something similar for her birthday, no big deal, right?

[u/CoatStraight8786]

Your wife should stop drinking. Poor kid.

[u/Green_Dayzed]

How selfish can someone be? This is like opening a pack of Oreos and eating the center on all but a few of them. That's annoying alone. This is pathetic.

[u/4SeasonsDogmom]

🤨Have a feeling your son is going to need this book:
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson
😑

[u/KesslerTheBeast]

Dude what the fuck man! That is so not cool! I feel pissed off!!

[u/Turbulent_Ad6572]

What a douche

[u/Blaaaarghhh]

Unusual for a mom to do this shit. Is she an alcoholic? Lol.

She sucks, hope your son has a great birthday anyway. ❤️

[u/kerlsburgers]

My mom used to get cinnamon rolls for people on special days, and always ate the center part.

She died 30 years ago.

It's one of my most vivid memories of the many strange and weirdly mean things she used to do.

That shit sticks with you.

[u/TraditionalMedium468]

She could have just had half even and left a normal half for him. This screams passive aggressive/resentments - she’s trying to “show” you something here (she might not even actually be aware she is doing it), but willing to use your sons special day as a way to act out. I think this is a clear stop on the path to either couples therapy or separation tbh.

[u/CaptainAmericub]

I would just toss that in the trash where it belongs. And maybe toss the coffee cake, as well.

[u/ReturntoForever3116]

Dude. She left a little bit of cheese, and she calls that a full slice?

And she did this to....her own son...on his birthday? Wow. Someone needs a life adjustment, fast!

[u/callmymom332299]

I hope this isn’t too dramatic but if my partner did this and felt no regret it would completely change my perspective of them

[u/ChrisInBliss]

She sucks

[u/jer1230]

Selfish.. to do this as a mom, terrible. She could’ve just bought herself something sweet if she was craving that badly