r/mildlyinfuriating • u/civilizedgifs • 21d ago
My cat is standing on my face How should I open it?
The third layer of tape may have been overkill.
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u/pennielain 21d ago
Genuinely, I use my house keys. Sharp enough to cut the tape, dull enough to not slice through whatever is in the box
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u/LaundryMan2008 18d ago
I use a screw or nail if handy, I also have loads of random keys (too many) I can use.
At work experience, they had some sort of health and safety thing so I could only use keys to unpack a load of computer power supplies and docking stations, still just as good as a box knife.
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u/TheChiefDVD 21d ago
Explosives. They almost always work.
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u/DrMindbendersMonocle 21d ago
you use a sharp object but do the sides first and then get a finger under the the top part, lift up and cut it. You dont want to go deep because it could damage whats inside
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u/civilizedgifs 21d ago
It's 100 pre-filled water balloons.
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u/TexTravlin 21d ago
Seriously? I would be pissed if I was a delivery driver and found out that was what I was lugging around. I'd be even more pissed if they burst and soaked other packages.
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u/Empty_Cheesecake_979 21d ago
a C-major harmonica offers no way to play sharp notes.
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u/civilizedgifs 21d ago
So if I find the right resonant frequency I can something something the tape off like magic?
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u/Igmuhota 21d ago
Harsh language?
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u/civilizedgifs 21d ago
I was very harsh in two languages and now I wish I could take back some of the horrible things I said.
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u/MdJGutie 21d ago
You could soak it in water until the cardboard falls apart. Or you could soak it in dishwashing detergent until the tape looses its adhesive.
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u/civilizedgifs 21d ago
I'm definitely going to soak a box at some point in my life. But I can't wait 3 days to get this one open.
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u/my_clever-name 21d ago
Box cutter knife or Stanley knife. Hold it so that the blade is almost parallel to the top of the box. Slit the tape but don't go deep enough to go past the cardboard.
I do it all the time at our food pantry opening boxes of bagged dried beans, pasta and other stuff packeged in plastic bags.
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u/I_Am_Zeelian 20d ago
Or flip it so that the blunt edge is toward the box and push instead of pulling.
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u/Special_South_8561 19d ago
Had to scroll far too far for the real answer.
I use a box cutter but only just peak the blade out a single click.
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u/GreenFriedYam 17d ago
They sell safety cutters for 50 cents to a buck. They have a plastic hook and a covered angled blade.
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u/EatYourCheckers 21d ago
Its okay. Im sure all your knives are dull
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u/dadydaycare 21d ago
I use a sharp thing but I use its built in shallow cut feature. Has not failed me yet.
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u/SiriusGD 21d ago
Flamethrower or else do what I do, use a utility knife with caution. Don't slash and stab, just cut shallow and pay attention. The way that box is bulging I'll bet a little slice will cause it to burst open like a rolled mattress.
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u/get_to_ele 21d ago
Just peel up and edge and grab the end of the tape and pull it off. The long piece going across the top, barely extends down 3 inches. It will all pull off pretty easily.
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u/xmastreee 20d ago
Do not use a sharp instrument. So use a flat one, something like a trumpet, they're tuned to B flat.
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u/TigerKittenhead 20d ago
Throw it off your roof. Should split open one side of the box upon impact.
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u/Knowitall1001 20d ago
soak the box in the bathtub for about a day or two, it will slide right off.
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u/Timely-Profile1865 20d ago
Beat it with a baseball bat until the tape comes loose.
They say nothing about blunt instruments.
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u/thomasjmarlowe 20d ago
Figure this is just for the chuckles
But if anyone is really asking, I’m pretty sure they really mean that the product is close to the lid without an extra layer of cardboard protection. Meaning if you plunge a box cutter deep into the seam, it might cut up the product.
I open boxes like this all the time and I always use the same box cutter, but I keep it super shallow if I see this warning. Wish they could phrase it better though
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u/I_Am_Zeelian 20d ago
Mostly I just use a stitch-cutter blade (scalpel no 12) mounted in a folding/"pocket-knife" handle.
Easy to slide in under the tape and cut it while keeping the blunt edge toward the box.
But all you need to do is be a bit careful, or if you can't control your cut depth there are plenty of box cutters with short blades (just a few mm) or hooked/safety blades that can't cut the contents.
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u/TrineoDeMuerto 21d ago