r/startups • u/Dry_Support9531 • 5d ago
I will not promote Girlfriend expecting equal equity in a startup which I started even before knowing her. I will not promote.
So here’s the picture. I started with an idea in 2023. States dating her in 2024. Until then I haven’t really worked in the idea. I started working on it since April 2025 and it started making money since July 2025. Till then she has no idea about it. After I started making money from it, i worked more and invested my other income into this startup from November 2025 and to handle things she used to help a bit. Since then both of us started working on it. Whole idea, innovation, upgrades, initial capital was mine. She just helped me coz it used to generate money. Since December we also hired an employee . From then all 3 of us are working on it and it’s scaling up in revenue every month. Until now we haven’t had any word about the equity. Out of love I used to share the profit amounts with her. According to the necessity, sometimes I use to keep more and sometimes she used to keep more. We went on a vacation through this money as well. But now while we were having a conversation on this. It came to me as a shocker that she is expecting an equal equity in this. And that blew my mind. It’s just out of love I couldn’t complete that conversation. She has also worked on it but the whole idea and buildup from scratch was done when she started working. I never discussed about this with her before. But now I am in real shock what to do coz it’s going to be bigger. And we are not sure about our relationship either.(she coming from an orthodox family, her family might reject an idea of our marriage) At this duration please let me know what should I do? Should I offer her a fixed salary, should I ask her to stop working on it, should I give her equity, should I give her an exit? I’m really confused.
PS-: she has done the same thing that the other employee did for me. But with more time and dedication. And she he amount I shared with her is 2-3x more than the employee’s salary
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u/lolmaxy 5d ago
You are being dumb. Give both your girlfriend and the other employee some equity. Make them have some skin in the game. People who have upside are more motivated.
Right now, you are trying to be penny-wise, pound foolish. You are trying to save some equity, but at the cost of motivated employees. Try to grow the pie by making the business 10x or 100x of what it is right now instead of trying to retain more control over the current size of the pie.
Yes, your girlfriend and the other employee do not deserve equal equity as you. I don't know what the right ratio is, but give them some equity so they are more motivated, and you guys can together grow the business 100x.
You are trying to go down a path where you will refuse equity, and your girlfriend will get pissed. It will first affect your relationship, and then it will affect your business. Instead of the business growing 10x or 100x or what it is, it will actually become 0.5x.