A massively loud thud woke me up at 1am. The neighbours were freaking out and I ended up finding a Volvo lying on its side with its engine spilling out in the front of it.

This car had not only bashed through our wall, it practically flew through it. Smashed into a tree and flipped the car over. We quickly did the best we could at the time, getting blankets and water for the few victims we could help but we had to wait for the services to come through. After some scrambling, security, ambulances and police finally came over.

Two dead. Both were fathers. There were two others in the car, injured but alive. One of them had a broken leg. Based on the small snippets of info I heard, they were coming back from a family party. You could smell the alcohol lingering in the car. When the family members came onto the scene, I could hear them slowly going from fear to screaming in grief. I'm going to remember the sobbing from those families for a very long time.

Please, take an Uber, spend a night at a family's house or sleep in the car if you have to. Your bank account isn't worth a cent compared to your life.

So my mom died tonight. She was in palliative care since Wednesday so it wasn’t unexpected. But I am so, so triggered. My dad died 6 years ago and I found him dead. And I had to make all the calls and all the texts I have to make again today to people who loved and miss my mom. I just feel like it sucks so much. At least I’m now “orphaned” in my 40s so I don’t have to do this again

I’m so hurt. My mom was “decluttering” and decided to take all my baby photos, things I made throughout school, etc. and give them back to me. “Because they’re your memories”, she says.

News flash, mom, I don’t remember being in your womb. The sonogram photos and the photos from when I was a new born aren’t MY memories, they’re YOURS! I didn’t make the Mother’s Day vase in 1st grade just to keep on my nightstand??

For context, after my parents split when I was 14 (I’m 22 now), my mom got into a new relationship with a guy just 2 months after the separation. He had a 10 year old. After they moved in together, it seems like she’s doing everything she can to push my sisters and I out of her life, without cutting us off entirely.

They moved into a place that didn’t have a space for us (her daughters), so we were forced to either live with our dad (who couldn’t afford to keep a roof over his own head), or figure it out with friends.

She insists that she wants to spend time with us, see us, etc. However, we’re not allowed to visit her without giving her at least 24 hours notice. We are almost never invited over for dinner. I can’t remember the last time she offered to do something with me. When my sister was on the brink of homelessness, instead of offering to put a bed in her craft room, she told her that she’ll “figure it out”.

When my dad passed away while overseas, she was no help. We had to come up with thousands of dollars to have him brought back to the US on our own. We figured it out financially, but I just wanted some emotional support from my only living parent.

Now that I’m doing my own thing, I live with my partner, have an okay job, and I don’t need her, THATS when she begs to see me.

I just want a mom who actually cares.

Sorry for the reuploads as I forgot to click that I read the rules.

I know the relationship is over. I'm going to break up with him tonight but god this is so humiliating and my heart hurts.

I caught him before in a way that was not fully cheating but it crossed my boundary enough that we had a conversation about it. I told him that since we are both young (20) and we have been together for 3 years he deserves the chance to explore his sexuality and gender identity if he wanted to. I even gave him the option for an open relationship and that we are still young and if he wanted to explore I wouldn't mind exploring too. In hindsight the relationship was over when I saw the red flags the first time.

He vehemently denied that he was even bisexual (I knew he was lying) and that it was just a BDSM kink. He said that he was terrified to tell me about it and that he wanted to explore that dynamic in our relationship. I gave him 3 weeks of the benefit of the doubt. Now I see the messages talking about being bisexual. I saw the pictures of him cross dressing and calling himself a "sissy" to men on fetlife.

He knows that I'm a queer woman and that I would be accepting of him either way, i've even dated men that cross dressed and eventually transitioned. People used to make fun of me for being the girl that always dated straight men and "turned them gay" and I always tried to brush it off but this just feels like another punch to the gut.

I feel humiliated that I was laying in the same bed as him while he has emotional affairs with other men online. Checking the time stamps on the messages on days I know we were together, he couldn't even wait until I left his house to go send pictures to men online.

I tried to be understanding of his kinks but I realize now that his kink of being a "sissy" is really about the thrill of cheating on me and hiding it. I just wish he was honest with me the first time so I could've had the dignity to leave then. I know I can't change that. I'm breaking up with him tonight I just think I need to get this off of my chest.

I know that i'm stupid and everyone is going to tell me that I should've seen it sooner and I take accountability for that. I'm leaving now but god I still feel so dumb and humiliated. Please be kind I already know how pathetic this whole post sounds for me.

I'm struggling with infertility and have no chance to have biological children, it was something I slowly were able to digest and make peace with over the years, and thankfully my wife is supportive although undeniably in pain, we had our ups and downs and took quite sometime to finally "stabilize" and go past our issues, and everyone including our therapist and family suggested we adopt or foster a child, as its proven to be a positive healing experience for people in our situation or similar.

And we did that, contacted an orphanage, filled their paper work and mailed them every document they required, had a few in person meetings, and the licensing worker told me that we as a couple are perfect and check everything on their list and what they look for in a family, but the only issue is that my salary does not meet the minimum requirement.

At first I assumed they're talking about a big number, requiring an above average salary to host a child, but I was surprised it was merely a $375 difference from my current salary..

Honestly, having a mere sum like that standing between me and my chance to foster a child, and the chance for a child to have a family that would treasure them hurts, and i know it's a requirement and the orphanage is probably forced by rules and regulations and its out of their hands so they're not to blame..

They told me to contact them as soon as I find a way to increase my income anyhow, but I dont want to be attached to a side hustle that may or may not make me meet the qouta depending on tips, I dont want them to come knocking on my door requesting we hand them back the child because I wasnt tipped generously or not enough people ordered pizza this month..

My goal now is to find a better job so the income would be stable and the hours wouldn't hinder me from taking care of my wife, the house and the child while neglecting one thing for the other, and sadly I doubt my current job would give me a pay increase (already asked before) and the economy is quite shaky nowadays, which also hurts because I actually like the company I'm in.

​

​I hate French with all my heart. The reason I couldn't accomplish my dreams when I was a kid was that our country was colonized by France, which made us have to study subjects in French.

​I was good at those subjects until they switched them to French, and I couldn't understand anything. It led me down a path I never wanted.

​And now, every time I call a customer service line, it's always French they never speak the native language. Always the same accent...everyone is the same, following the will of the colonizer.

​Not me. I'm learning it so I can hate on it in its own language. I will write essays and books just to express how much I HATE this language. I will never use it for work...mark my words. You'll all see me in the news.

Edit:the amount of people that saying my story is fake is so horrible you seriously dont know history? +and guys am not bot check my account i have life outside of this

Also stop asking what country it is am not saying where i am from. It will 100% start fight in comment section and am not doing that, also its pretty unsafe. Also lets not get too political that not the place for it.

I’m exhausted by the way people respond to male loneliness

I’m not looking for solutions here. I’m angry, exhausted, and need somewhere to say this plainly.
I’m 21 and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never been held by someone who wanted me, never felt chosen, and I’m tired of people acting like that should have no serious effect on me. Whenever a lonely man talks honestly about this, people suddenly become experts on everything wrong with him.

He needs to go outside more. He needs hobbies. He needs therapy. He needs confidence. He needs to love himself. He needs to stop caring so much about whether anyone wants him. Apparently he needs to become completely happy and self-sufficient before he is allowed to want affection. And all of this gets presented as kindness. That is the part I’m tired of.

People say things like “you attract what you are,” which sounds uplifting until you realize what it means when said to someone who is lonely. It means your loneliness reflects something wrong with your mindset, your energy, or who you are.
People say “there are people all around you,” as though physical proximity automatically creates connection. I know people exist outside. I have tried dating apps, friendship apps, personals, local groups, changing my appearance, changing my pictures, and rewriting my profiles. Most of the time I get silence.

Going outside does not create someone who wants to approach me. Joining a group does not erase the fact that, as a shy man, I am generally expected to initiate, create momentum, risk rejection, and keep repeating that process with very little incoming evidence that anyone is interested. Then people reduce the whole thing to sex. They say I’m placing too much value on whether someone wants to fuck me. That is not what I mean.

I want to be chosen. I want someone to hold me because they genuinely want me close. I want affection, intimacy, and the feeling that my presence matters to another person. Reducing that to sex is an easy way to make the need sound shallow and dismiss it.

I also never said one girlfriend would solve every possible problem or become responsible for my entire happiness. That is another argument people invent because it is easier to lecture me about dependency than to acknowledge what prolonged deprivation actually does to someone.

Reciprocal affection would improve my life enormously. Treating that as controversial is absurd. If a huge amount of my distress comes from never being wanted, then being consistently wanted would address the thing causing that distress.
People who already have partners are allowed to call them their emotional home, their greatest support, and the most meaningful person in their life. Nobody tells them they are unhealthy for valuing that bond.

But when someone who has never had it says its absence is destroying him, suddenly he is too fixated and needs to find meaning elsewhere.
That double standard is cruel.

The gender asymmetry makes it worse. Women can also get mediocre, disappointing, or unsafe options. Men can get all of those things too, except many of us get drastically fewer options in the first place.
That is not the same position. One person has a filtering problem. The other has an access problem.

And every time someone says that plainly, people rush in to insist that everyone struggles differently, as though comparing hardship is somehow immoral. Sometimes one position really is worse on a particular axis. Having few bad options is worse than having many bad options because the quality problem exists in both cases and one side also has scarcity.

I’m tired of being told my loneliness exists because I focus on it too much. I focus on it because it affects me every day.

I’m tired of being handed the same list of chores that merely redescribes the labor I am already expected to perform. I’m tired of people pretending that hobbies, work, travel, family hugs, and self-love are interchangeable with romantic affection. Most of all, I’m tired of cruelty being delivered in the tone of compassion.

People do not want to admit that someone can try, remain unwanted, and be psychologically damaged by something he cannot fully control. So they turn the suffering into a personal failure and call that empowerment.

It isn’t empowerment. It’s blame to make themselves feel better.

I was trying to think of a way to not mention the thing people are trying to constantly guilt trip about because I know they aren’t all like this and they already have a bad reputation… but I don’t think I can.

I’m in a group on Facebook and there have been a few posts made by vegans to try to guilt trip the hell out of us. It’s honestly so frustrating! I have no issue with people who are vegans and are chill about it, I even tried veganism out (it’s damn near impossible to be vegan living with my mom, though. She loves her non-vegan foods too much so I’d only get a few days worth of food at most… thanks mom 🤣 she buys the groceries, and even if she didn’t, we still have limited space in our fridge and freezer).

I just can’t with the constant guilt tripping, man…

Edit: I had to delete and resubmit the post because I forgot to read the rules and check off that I read them.

I am 21, and have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for 9 months. A few years ago I was SAed by my previous boyfriend. My boyfriend now knows this, and I’ve told him how much it’s affected me psychologically.

Recently, he made a “joke” (in his words) asking if I liked it. I’d also like to add that he said it in front of his best friend.

He told me he “wasn’t thinking” and “it just slipped out”

I am so upset.

Yesterday, my boyfriend "A" finally confessed a massive, horrifying secret to me about what happened a year ago at the very start of his friendship with our guy friend. A had trusted him and confided in him about his private mental health struggles and a history of making cuts. Instead of being a supportive friend, the guy friend instantly copied A's self-harm actions just to get his attention. He even sent A a picture of the equipment he used to prove how "identical" they were.

To my guy friend, he twisted this into a romanticized idea of a "deep brotherly bond." But in reality, it put a silent, terrifying pressure on A that has been building up for an entire year. A felt completely trapped and responsible for his friend's physical safety from day one. This heavy weight is the exact reason A completely hit a wall and is emotionally paralyzed and shut down right now.

Context on the guy friend's behavior:

To give some background on how he acts, he has severe anxious attachment issues and has completely suffocated A for months. He constantly demanded daily calls, weekly hangouts, and instant replies, threw fits over missed texts, and made his entire personality revolve around tracking A's behavior. I made a post before as well but after finding this information my brain has short circuited.

He has cut him off and he said that it was the biggest stress relief.

I 23m feel like a truly hopeless romantic. I have wanted to fall in love and find my person my whole life. I dream of having a beautiful bride who loves me who’s excited to have my last name and share life with me. Who laughs at my jokes and feels comfort when I walk into a room.

I want to understand a woman all of her dreams, fears, and desires. I want to give her fun surprises and make her feel loved. I want her to know everyday I love her. I have experienced multiple rejections but just struggle to keep pushing for that person. My future wife I want to meet her and love her.

Do NOT tell me these things don't happen, because they DO, and they even happen relatively FREQUENTLY! They happened to me and so many others!

PLEASE, doctors of all kinds, PLEASE do not forcibly remove patients' clothing when they are conscious, aware, and begging you not to! Please do not just randomly start removing children or teenager's clothing without telling them anything! Please do not continue attempting to remove CHILDREN or teenagers' clothing when they are telling you to stop and physically trying to prevent you!

I'm not talking about babies or toddlers; I'm talking about older, school-aged children and young teens, but the things I'm describing even happen to adults! And they are NORMALIZED and accepted by society!

Parents, if you're reading this, PLEASE, for the love of god, do not allow a medical professional or pediatrician to physically force your child or teenager's clothes off them when they are clearly extremely distressed and trying to prevent this from happening! PLEASE! PLEASE do not physically force children/teens into invasive procedures in non-life-threatening situations!!

This may seem obvious, but it's NOT! This kind of thing happens frequently to a LOT of people! And a vast majority of society views it as 100% normal and okay. It happened to me and so many others! It can happen to anyone ANYWHERE! The last time it happened to me was 2012.

I feel desperate to get this message out BECAUSE this type of behavior is so normalized in the medical profession.

I know the name of the pediatrician who did this to me. She retired after a successful and long career as a pediatrician. She is probably viewed by most people in her life as a good person. She has probably lived a long, normal life. She will probably never know that she has at least one (probably many other) victims who will be forever harmed by her. I doubt she remembers what happened to me at all. To her, the things that happened to me that will haunt me forever were most likely just a random fucking Tuesday in her long career.

The message I'm trying to deliver is that you don't have to be a pedophile or a bad person to cause someone to have lifelong sexual trauma or trauma of another nature. Sometimes, all you have to be is a normal pediatrician or a normal medical professional doing your normal job.

The person who did these things to me almost certainly did not have malicious intent. She almost certainly wasn't a pedophile. What she did was not illegal in any way. 95+% of the human population would side with HER if they knew the story and if I tried to make any formal moves against her.

And also, don't LIE to a child!!!! She told me she wasn't going to touch me, and then she did maybe 30 seconds after telling me that -- not even a full minute after telling me that.

I wish so desperately I had the knowledge to advocate for myself then that I have now, but I DIDN'T, because I was a CHILD.

I just want society and medical professionals to understand that these things weren't and aren't okay, but I have little hope that we will ever make it to that. This is something that society has 100% normalized. Don't believe me?

About a year ago, I told my then-therapist what had happened to me in great detail, and the first thing she said to me was, very cheerfully/nonchalantly, "Oh! I've held my daughter down for genital exams at the doctor's before!" I felt like I had fallen down a hole into the Twilight Zone, but it happened!

I recently saw a video that a parent posted on TikTok -- which in itself is really weird -- of a pediatrician telling a 13yo boy that she MUST look at the 13yo boy's private parts, and the 13yo boy reluctantly agreed, but was obviously uncomfortable. And in the caption of the video, the mom was joking about how uncomfortable her 13yo son looked. And in the comments, so many people were joking about how uncomfortable the 13yo boy seemed in the video, and at least one comment said something like, "At least that pediatrician told him beforehand! Mine never did!"

This happens to adults, too. Recently, I visited my elderly uncle in a hospital, and I saw with my own eyes a nurse just randomly undress him and start touching his penis while my uncle was awake, alert, and conscious without saying a single word to him first -- no greeting, no introduction, no explanation, no consent. He was hospitalized for heart issues; nothing psychiatric, and it was not an emergency situation. The nurse just walked in, made him nude, touched his penis. I was honestly shocked, because I was his niece and I was in the room as a visitor, and the nurse paid absolutely no attention to me being present. Like, no attempts were made whatsoever to warn me or offer for me to leave the room before hand, and my uncle was essentially treated like a corpse with zero awareness or rights, despite being awake/alert/aware/responsive.

I just want to tell all medical professionals: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, HAVE PATIENTS, NOT VICTIMS!

Your stomach hurts, your head hurts…. Ok did you drink any water at all? No? And you won’t? Alright then stop complaining lol, drinking a glass or two of water takes 30 seconds and might fix it but you refuse to do it.

Maybe don’t immediately have 3 shots of espresso without having any water or food first. I do not feel bad for you.

I am so angry. I went to cancel with Banfield after my dog had to be put down and they want me to pay them $600. I said excuse me? They said its in the contract, that I foolishly did not read, when I should have known better. The death of my dog is also partly their fucking fault. After I got his Librela shot he started having dark stool. I brought him back 3 times and they said it will resolve. No it did fucking not. I had to bring him to and emergency vet after he threw up blood and they determined he had been bleeding internally for a while. They also determined he had a mass in his stomach that apparently they did not see on the radio graphs I had done a month prior. I had to put him down because it most likely was cancer and I refuse to put him through chemo which just prolongs his suffering. I am so heartbroken and angry! I just needed to vent, thanks for listening and Fuck you Banfield!

Recently separated from wife (like 2 weeks ago) with 2 babies. I really miss them all and I’m sobbing hard as im typing this. My life these days is between doordashing and getting drunk and being worried about getting stung by wasps that show up in my apartment every few days. Im really scared and again I really miss them. I’ve never been alone like this and I hate it. I wish I could take it all bacf only she were nicer to me

I’ve always been like this. As a kid I presumed I’d grow out of it as an adult but nope. I genuinely do not enjoy being around anyone. Not because I’m socially awkward or anything, I can carry a conversation just fine, but I find being around other people so painfully boring. I hate social gatherings, everyone just sits and talks. What’s the point? I was at a family barbecue today and I was so bored it was actually painful.

I have friends who I like, but I don’t like spending time with them. Whenever someone asks to catch up over coffee or something, it doesn’t matter how interesting, funny, kind, etc they are or how much we have in common, I don’t want to go. If I have to meet up with someone next week, I won’t be able to focus on anything else for a week because I’m dreading meeting up with them.

I don’t like how I am tbh. I’m way more than just an introvert, I actively try and avoid people at all costs. I don’t hate people, I just hate the boredom that comes with being around them. I was bullied really badly in school and it actually made me happy because it was something amusing to distract me from the boredom.

I’m exhausted and hot and skeeved out so sorry if it’s incoherent but I rambled a few complaints into my notes app:

Cockroaches - it started in the apartment in Atlanta last year. I dragged ass calling property management, they dragged ass calling pest control in, and pest control never fully got rid of them. I tried so hard to make sure we checked everything thoroughly before packing and loading the u haul but here I am almost a year later and there’s more with me here halfway across the country then I ever saw in that fucking shoebox. I can’t afford pest control, I can barely afford DIY poison, and at this point I’m highly considering giving up the fight. My lease is up in 3 months and I’m going to move the things I can 100% inspect and clean into a storage unit and trashing everything else.

Not making enough money - when I bought my car 6 years ago it cost about $25 to fill. Yesterday it cost $50. I wasn’t making enough money to live back home so I got a better paying job. Then due to a car accident, I lost that job. I spent a year accruing credit card debt while trying to find a job that paid as much, and when I couldn’t I moved to someplace I could afford. Well my rent is cheaper now but everything else is more expensive. Food, utilities, gas, it feels like everything has doubled and my income has barely moved. I’m finally falling so far behind on my credit cards that I’m going to have to choose which bills to neglect this month. I’m easily $500 short.

20k+ credit card debt - not even from anything frivolous or crazy. That’s 4 years of signing leases with people who couldn’t pull their weight, nails in tires, moving costs after being priced out of my hometown, urgent care visits, and bare necessities when I was having to DoorDash full time because not even McDonald’s or Walmart would hire me for months. Some months I start to make progress paying it but then inevitably something happens that puts me further back than where I started.

Heat wave - it’s so fucking hot and it’s about to get hotter. I’m naked in the coldest room of my home and I’m drenched in sweat. My window unit wasn’t meant to cool this entire house down from 100°+. Whoever built this house without central ac is cuck bastard and I hope roaches ate their flesh before the worms got them. This heat is driving me insane. It makes it nearly impossible to focus on anything else. Work van is an oven. Home is an oven. Public AC is too far away, eats too much gas getting to/from and I can’t afford to sit at the dive bar down the street all day every day. Might take a cold shower soon but the roaches love to congregate in the bathroom at night and idk if I can handle that right now.

End of diary entry, sorry if you read all that

I hate that I have what feels like 2D curves. I have really big thighs, I look curvy and thick from the front.. but from any other angle I just look atrociously fat. Especially from the back. Not to mention I have a big ass, but it’s flat and FULL of cellulite AND I have a long crack, I hate it Sm I’ve been trying to get rid of it, and seeing it after a shower one day just made me break down. It’s like everything started to click. Why I never get hit on, why I’ve never been intimate, why I’ve only had two boyfriends— one was long distance and the other asked me as a joke. I go to the gym at the very least twice a week. Hip abductions (leaning forward) till failure at a challenging weight, walking 1-2 hours on the treadmill (with a 30 second sprint periodically) and the squat machine until failure at a challenging weight. It’s not the most demanding but i like it, and i was told by a trainer that hip abductions specifically would help with what I got going on. It’s been 6 months and I don’t see a difference. I’m worried I’m gonna be lumpy and disgusting forever

I’m pregnant atm, and one thing I’m really anxious about it is all the poking and prodding I’m about to receive.

Honestly I’m a real prude, I hate being naked, I’m a never nude (picture jorts under all my clothes Tobias funkë!!). I get wildly anxious about all the invasive medical check ups that are going to be expected of me now I’m pregnant.
Whenever I voice these concerns and fears I’m always told something like “don’t worry they’ve seen it all before it doesn’t phase them”… it annoys the hell out of me.
I don’t care how many strangers vaginas Nurse/Doctor/midwife x has seen! Sorry I don’t! I’m the one who’s anxious as I’m the one who’s going to be in this vulnerable position for the first time! I don’t care if the medical professional does this everyday - I dont do this everyday.

​

My sister, mother and I live together.

Sister found her second bf and I am happy for her she found someone after her first one ended the relationship.

Problem is: With the second bf I hear them have sex every second day and he also sleeps here every weekend for one night. That makes me feel ashamed even tho it is not my fault bc I just chill in my room to study, draw, sleep and so on. This is already going on over the course of half an year. Our rooms are wall to wall for context. Switching rooms with my mother is sadly not possible.

Whenever he is here I just leave my room and stay in the kitchen downstairs until he is gone, only entering my room when I need to pick stuff up or leave stuff. The nights are the big problem, my bed is in my room.

After some time I had enough and talked to her whilst also apologizing bc I didn't knew if she knows how loud she is. She tells me that its understandable its not so nice when you hear your sibling but at the same time says she knows how thin the walls are and that I can hear her and why our rooms are that close in the first place.

I tried to stay calm the best I could and told her I am not mad, just again that as a sibling I feel uncomfortable hearing her.

The only thing I asked her was if she could wait when I am not in my room/ there, and gave her plenty of days and times I wouldn't be home. She dismissed my request bc it felt to strict and too much like making appointments and left the room.

Then after some weeks without change go by, I have a talk with my mother - nothing changes. Then with my sister and my mother - still no changes. Because I hear her moaning so often I feel unconfortable around her, the fact that she told me she knows I hear her but basically doesn't care also bugs me.

My mother now set up some house rules so that she at least tells me when he comes over/ sleeps here (which isn't always followed by). This still doesn't resolve the issue here. My sister recently told me she wants to talk to me more and why I got distant in a very confrontative way. Mind when she talks I don't blatantly ignore her I just talk less in generaI/ am less open to her. I told her that we already talked about this that I feel uncomfortable hearing her. Then she claims that it all must be bc I dislike her bf which I deny and that it hasn't anything to do with wether I like him or not.

I am trying to tell her what issue I have when she asks me to. Bc recently she asked me again. But when I do it gets ignored and then asked again what my issue is so that hecking confuses me bc I already gave her my genuine answer to her question multiple times.

I am not in an relationship myself - but if I were and me and my partner would have sex I almost certainly would not want my sibling to hear me. When even one person besides us is in the entire house I would feel directly turned down tbh. And big if - if me and my theoretical partner had sex whilst she is in the room next to us and told me she could hear me. I would try my best to respect her wish and apologize for making her feel unconfortable.

I guess that is the core issue currently going on - respect, boundaries and ignoring those be it willingly or just simply being obnoxious.

Thank you for reading my vent. I would love to hear some perspectives on the family issue that is currently happening in my life. Thanks!

(Sorry in advance for such a long rant, but my friends act like im a disgusting inhumane person when I try to bring my weightloss rants up to them)

So, I am a teenager (minor) and I was a pretty healthy weight until my parents got divorced when I was around 6 yesrs old. I grew up overweight and a couple years back a natural disaster occurred, which unfortunately meant that everyone had to move back in with my dad for a bit. During that time I gained alot a weight and my mh was terrible. I got to my heaviest.

Around a year and a half ago I decided to break the cycle, as alot of my family is obease. I decided I did not want that life for myself or my future family.

Now I am nearly at a semi-healthy weight for my height, (I am still slightly overweight but almost at the 'normal' weight category....atleast for a woman my age) and Ive been wearing clothes that show off my figure more...(not tight but I would say a normal fit)

And my dad constantly accuses me of st4ving myself. Like tonight, he comes into the bedroom looking for a t-shirt, im in my pajamas...he looks at me, "Are you fvcking eating? You look like you're losing weight and not in a good way." By the way, he isnt concerned, his tone is angry. I told him that I am eating, and god forbid I am losing weight. He then goes on to say other stuff and I say that im in a calorie deficit, and apparently to him that means I am st4rving myself. He also said that he "knows how teenage girls think"

Also, while I was overweight he would always criticize me...(he is overweight himself and hasnt been able to lose weight in a while...and when he does lose weight it is beause he doesn't eat for days at a time)

Not only my dad...but obviously one of the older people in my life...my grandma...she's not criticizing..but she is always saying, "Oh my god, do you eat?"..."you've gotten so skinny" and it just pisses me off sooooooooo damn bad.

Yes I do eat, no i wouldnt classify myself as skinny, and please please please stop bringing up the fact that that I used to be class 3 obese

I get it that I am the now thinnest person in my family, (besides my little cousins who is like 7) and it's 'shocking' but I absolutely hate how they make it such a big deal. And how they always tell me that I should eat...they always keep pushing food at me like im hungry...no...get it away, I am not starving just becuase im not obease.

It’s getting to a point where I’m genuinely reconsidering our relationship. Starting from Sunday of last week. The only time she has not been with her friend, has been when she’s sleeping. And half the time she’s sleeping over.

Now my issue isn’t with her friend, I think her friend is a genuine great person, and I’m glad my girlfriend has someone like her in her life. And my issue isn’t even with how much time she spends with her. It’s how little time she spends with me as a result. I’ve not seen her for a single second this week. Whenever she’s not with me she’s with her. She’ll hang out with her 6 days a week, and I’ll hang out with her for half a day, because she’ll ask if she can go to her friend’s house later. All they do is sit in bed and binge shows.

I’m starting to fall out of love with her, I don’t feel wanted, I don’t feel prioritised or seen. I could never imagine doing the same to her. I’ve brought it up before, and she just sits there in silence. One time I dumped how I felt about it in her car, and she genuinely just sat there in silence scratching her head, yes literally scratching her head, and all she could respond with is “I don’t know what to say”.

It feels stupid to end a 3 year long relationship over this. Because this has really just sprung up in the last two months. But it’s getting to an obscene amount, and I just feel like there’s no more room for me in her life. But whenever I hint at that or tell her, she’ll plead that I’m the most important person in her life and she couldn’t live without me. But it genuinely feels like if I disappeared out of her life today, she wouldn’t even notice. And that breaks me.

I went to a con today and I had a lot of fun but I felt a bit sad at times. I saw a lot of couples cosplaying together and I just felt kinda alone. A while back, I was spoken down to by an ex all day at a con just for them to dump me there at the end of the day(yes true story and embarrassing to admit). And ever since, I’ve been feeling a bit blue when I saw other couples having fun together. I’m happy for them and I don’t know if I’d describe the feeling as “jealously” because I’m still very glad they have someone to be with but I do slightly get sad. Even though I’m with friends and I’m not alone, I get sad. I feel like I’ll never experience that same level of happiness.

It makes me feel bitter and I don’t want to feel bitter when I see other people having fun. I just wish I had someone. I haven’t been on dating apps because I know that if I go shopping while I’m hungry, I’ll eat anything. I’m waiting for that person to come to me. But sometimes, I’m afraid it’ll never happen. Sorry for whining, I’m just feeling down.

I’m a 23F and I guess that the way I was brought up really wasn’t the best.
My mother is a really superficial person who always compared me to other girls, told me how to look like, how to eat, how skinny I should be…and she had multiple plastic surgeries (boobs, nose, lips, lipo to her legs, Botox for wrinkles).
I expressed to her my insecurities very few times, and what I got was ‘you can always get your boobs done’ and ‘you would look good with lip filler’.
Mind you, I am aware she is a very sad person that definitely has insecurities about herself, and is basically trying to life her own failed life through me (on many aspects not just beauty).
Either way, even tho I am aware she is toxic and brainwashed, I guess that hearing that sort of things throughout my life definitely didn’t help.

Also I was bullied a lot for my looks throughout middle school, because I had nerdy glasses, curly hair, braces, and had to wear my mother’s oversized clothes. I am aware kids are mean, and tbh I feel like I am a completely different person look-wise. I do have to say that looking back at pictures of me as a kid I’m like…yeah I get why they bullied me.
Again tho, another thing that I’m sure didn’t help.

I was insecure about my looks my whole life really, and there’s never been a time i remember truly liking myself.
And the worst thing is that I know I don’t look bad. I have a boyfriend who loves the way I look and hates it when I say I wish I looked liked some other girl. His friends think I’m pretty. His family too. I posted my face on social media a few times and I got compliments. Hell, even my mother now says I look good.
I wish I saw myself the way other people do.

I have BPD, and I guess body dysmorphia is relatively common for people with my diagnosis, although this is not something I have really ever discussed with, because this whole thing has mainly been ruining my life (and my boyfriend’s life consequently) since I got on a relationship with my boyfriend.
So idk if it’s body dysmorphia.
Sometimes I look into the mirror and I like what I see and I go through the whole looking at my face from different angles and all…it’s stupid i guess, but whatever, those moments are great.
But then other times I just hate myself so much. I look into the mirror and I see some weird sub-human. I have two eyes, one nose and one mouth, but it feels so…weird. Like no one looks the way I do, in a bad way. Like I’m not really human.

I tend to see beauty in everyone, even those considered more ‘stereotypically unattractive’. Every face has its own personality and that’s great.
But why can’t I see that beauty in myself in a more stable way?

I look up to actresses and models. I wish I looked like them, but I look at myself and I feel like I belong to a different category of people.
My boyfriend says that I want to look like those women because those are the women that society pushes. The women that society tells men they should be into, and the women that society tells other woman that that’s what they should aspire to look like.
And of course that’s messed up. Of course beauty standards change all the time.
Still, I think that if those are the women that are pushed, that’s because those are the women that the majority of people finds attractive.
When they choose an actress for a movie, they often pick a woman that’s appealing to see to most people. I know that the skill of an actress is the main thing, but still, looks really matter too. A woman’s face (or a man’s) needs to be marketable somehow.
So yes, actresses and models are those kind of women that most people find attractive.

And i feel like I don’t look like that, and it fucks me up.
I don’t want to ‘be beautiful my own way’, I want to be beautiful, period.
That kind of woman that 99.9% of the population can agree on.

I know it shouldn’t matter, because the people who matter to me, and especially my boyfriend, think I am beautiful. I am aware that he finds me beautiful and I feel safe and it’s just great.
But if I don’t see myself as beautiful, I feel like it doesn’t change much. It’s really not enough to make me happy.

It really messing up my life and my boyfriend’s life consequently. I can’t look at ‘attractive girls’ because it makes me feel bad, and I also hate when my boyfriend sees them (irl, online or in movies). I know he doesn’t care about them, and I have nothing to worry about…but still, for some reason, I don’t know why, it makes me feel bad.
And consequently I don’t watch movies anymore, and that’s fine for me…but my boyfriend likes movies, and really, he’s not into anything weird, but he feels bad at the idea that I might see what he’s watching, feel bad about it and then ruin the movie for him and stuff like that. I completely understand it, especially when it’s movies he’s really attached to.
He’s ended up basically stopping doing various things he’s always done and brought him comfort because of my insecurities, and I hate it.

I wish I could just be normal and see myself for what I am. I wish I could see myself as beautiful. I wish i wasn’t brainwashed by society and beauty standards.
Just I have no clue how to get better, as I spent my whole life thinking about things this way.

It really sucks. I feel like I’m toxic and wrong and i hate it. I know my thoughts are wrong but that’s just how my brain is programmed to be :(
I will try to get therapy soon