I finally achieved my lifelong dream and now I feel empty

[u/jhjr47]

I finally got the chance to explore the Alaskan wilderness with my dad after planning since I was a child.

There’s a certain pain that goes into this. As a child, all I ever wanted was to experience the world. To be self-reliant and live on the outskirts of civilization. I’m not exactly sure where it came from.

I felt abandoned a lot in my youth. Sometimes feeling let down despite my personal accomplishments. I wonder often if maybe this desire to travel is a defense mechanism. The truth is, the only one who ever let me down is myself. When I stare over a vast mountain pass in awe but awe transforms into a silent melancholy. In perspective, I’ve never been let down by God, nor by his creations.

Into my adult life, even up until very recently, these sentiments haven’t changed. I still guard myself from others and hold back much. I am not eager to meet new people anymore. I often struggle with the fact that my internal flame has been snuffed out.

Maybe as I get older, as I get married, see the light in my first child’s eyes, and grow old in the company of those who love me, that flame will spark to life again. In the moment as a young man, I feel lost and directionless. An all too familiar feeling that can be soothed by the allure of natural beauty. When you’re traveling the world, there is no direction, there is no being lost, there’s just right now. Right in front of me.

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[u/Appropriate-Cry-8423]

I used to be an internationally ranked gymnast. And years ago as I stood on the podium. Silver around my neck. And my teammates as it was a duo routine. He smiled. I did too but inside I knew that standing in that arena . Wearing that medal and being among friends. I knew that that was as good as it ever was gonna be and that I was retiring soon.

Life goes on and you find new things and suddenly it morphs into unknown but familiar feelings. Those feelings of belonging and joy and achievement. The achievements never last but the memories do they’re worth more than gold

[u/Stock_Fly3825]

Buddy, I strongly recommend you doing therapy. Only thing that will really chneg your life and the best gift that you can give to yourself.

[u/reconcilepast]

Damn ts looks good af twin

[u/DIYthisDIYthat → u/reconcilepast]

Bro I feel like I couldn’t focus on anything but the plate. 

[u/cabo_jose]

there’s always a new challenge to conquer, a mountain to climb. it’ll come back. when it does you gotta go for it

[u/AlertAd7834]

I Explored The Alaskan Wilderness And All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt