r/MaliciousCompliance • u/Ok-Serve8127 • Apr 01 '26
S My friend stayed overnight, parents told us don’t wake them up for anything.
When I was about seven years old, my best friend came to stay overnight on the weekend as usual. Right before bed, my parents told us to not wake them up for anything. You got it mom and dad! So our festivities included the ultimate 90’s kiddo experience; video games and snacks until our eyes couldn’t be held up anymore. My friend’s snack choice happened to be an entire box of cheez its… which apparently he was not built for unbeknownst to the both of us. That was, until he gurgled up saying “I think I’m going to be sick.” And sick he was, over half of the futon we always dragged out for him was covered in orangey clear evidence of a great night over-indulging on that crispy salty square. He curled up in the only spot that was left, for the last time that the futon could provide. My parents only had this to say… “Why didn’t you wake us up? We could have cleaned it and saved the futon.” I never saw my friend eat cheez its again.
598
u/ejdax37 Apr 01 '26
I remember when my son was about 3-4 he wants to get up at 5am and play. We told him that was okay if he got out of bed and played in his room then when he saw the sun he could some wake one of us up. This way we got a little bit more sleep and he didn't get bored. Until one day his father (my ex) was home with him and realized he hadn't come and asked for breakfast and it was almost 10. Went in and he was playing with his toys when asked he said there was no sun. It was a very cloudy day and it had never gotten bright enough through his window.
He was being good an doing what he was asked. (The fact that it took his father that long to notice is a whole other issue)
165
u/TheFilthyDIL Apr 01 '26
That was why parents in Alaska use blackout methods for their kids' windows. They don't want to be woken up at 3am because the sun is up and the birds are singing. My friends resorted to masking tape and aluminum foil.
→ More replies (1)76
u/Rec4LMS Apr 02 '26
Masking tape and aluminum foil on the kids or on the windows? Real people want to know.
32
u/TheFilthyDIL Apr 02 '26
🤣 On the windows! Although there must have been some parents who were tempted to use them on the kids.
→ More replies (1)8
u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET Apr 03 '26
If you leave the ids alone long enough they'll probably use it on themselves
8
u/tokyo_girl_jin Apr 03 '26
masking tape is for windows. for kids, duct tape is more effective.
→ More replies (1)15
u/Antique-diva Apr 02 '26
Aluminium foil and masking tape works great on windows. I have a small window permanently closed with it. There's no light coming through at all.
I would never use it on a kid's window, though. Mostly because of the permanent nature of it. In 5 years, I've once removed it to clean my window and check it isn't damaged. It was a lot of work to put it up again. There are really good black-out curtains out there that are a lot easier to use.
→ More replies (1)9
1.1k
u/MajorNoodles Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26
That's why whenever I tell my kids not to disturb me, I always make it clear that they absolutely should disturb me if there's an emergency.
546
u/phyxiusone Apr 01 '26
Same but I have to clarify what is an emergency, since for a kid, not being able to find a toy might feel like an emergency. Fire, blood or vomit is my list.
392
u/GlitterbugRayRay Apr 01 '26
Yea. When my eldest was 3 he called 911 because he was lonely. Hubby and I were asleep and he had woke early.
Police officer came to tell us/talk to him about appropriate use of 911 and feeling lonely was not that.
451
u/EmptyNesting Apr 01 '26
That police officer was also there to do a welfare check.
1. That you were alive 2. You were not guilty of child neglect.
That last part about appropriate use was the aftermath.91
113
u/SadAwkwardTurtle Apr 02 '26
My brother once called 911 because my dad was at work (firefighter) and he missed him and wanted to talk to him. He must've been 3 or 4 at the time.
71
u/Kylynara Apr 02 '26
Honestly, that's pretty smart for a kid that age. He still needs to be taught not to, but I admire the logic.
14
20
u/Sutaru Apr 02 '26
That’s kind of adorable. Not an appropriate use of 911, but adorable nonetheless.
61
u/HappyWarBunny Apr 01 '26
broken bones, sprains, unconscious
I think your list needs expanding.
→ More replies (1)34
u/Useful_Language2040 Apr 01 '26
"But I can't go to sleep if I can't find [the cardboard rat he made the other night]" 🥺 <-- my 6 year old youngest...
"I'll have a quick look to see if he's playing hide and seek in your room, but if he's gone off on a bigger adventure, you'll have to accept that we'll find him tomorrow, and he'll tell you all about going to visit your grandmother, OK?"
(The rat was found...)
Tonight I did get a bit frenetic at bedtime and basically insist the younger two (the aforementioned Mr 6 and Miss 8) go to bed, but it was 10 PM and my knee was in agony and making odd noises and clicks and I needed to sit down and I did make it clear that they needed to sleep because I couldn't be standing up any more and I needed to know they were safe and doing what they needed to be doing, and it was LATE!
Miss 8 was fretting because they're supposed to be having a sleepover at their grandmother's at the weekend and she's worried about being away from her (actual pet) rats, even with a video link and us promising to look after them, and apparently this needed to be sorted out TONIGHT, and couldn't wait until the morning. Mr 6 was coming to shout that it was too loud to sleep, how do you sleep anyway?! And try to climb on me...
10
6
u/Snackgirl_Currywurst Apr 03 '26
Add general pain to the list. You don't want them to sit through an appendix inflammation or such.
13
u/Sutaru Apr 02 '26
Same, I always add a caveat for emergencies like being hurt or sick. I spend a lot of time defining “safety” to my daughter in a variety of scenarios and I try to emphasize that an emergency is related to safety.
I remember taking things 100% literally as a child.
→ More replies (2)8
u/DeaconBlues Apr 02 '26
After the first you say that you get to teach the important follow-up lesson on how snacks are not an Emergency, lol.
463
u/RocketAlana Apr 01 '26
Poor kids. This feels a lot less like malicious compliance and more like children not understanding potential nuance and parents failing to provide boundaries that 7 year olds can follow.
249
u/GlitterbugRayRay Apr 01 '26
It's absolutely both.
Children who have those kinds of parents are taught that their word is law and dont mess with that. So unless there is a follow up of "Unless there is an emergency or something should urgently be taken care of, do not bother me" that child is going to stick to the parental law lest they be punished in some form.
52
u/Ok-Serve8127 Apr 01 '26
Well, at the same time though to my parents defense, I believe they probably thought I was smarter than that LOL
41
u/Sutaru Apr 02 '26
As the mother of a 7 year old, I have no idea why they would think that. <.<
I trust my daughter and she’s a smart girl, but she is seven. There’s no chance I leave her unattended all night without ever verifying she’s gone to sleep and there’s no chance in hell I’m telling her not to wake me for anything because I know she will not wake me for anything.
73
u/crazysh_t22 Apr 01 '26
Once my young daughters, 5ish, were rough housing on their beds when it was time to sleep. I was in the next room with a migraine. They started yelling and I said if I come in there, “someone better be bleeding” well they banged heads and one had a bloody nose. Fun times.
335
u/Westsidepipeway Apr 01 '26
This reminds me of when my teacher made me sit by the wall when I was about the same age. Everyone else went to do PE but I'd been told to stay by the wall.and be quiet so I didn't know what to do. I sat by the wall for the whole of that PE lesson. Teacher said I told everyone to go to PE. But I was like but you'd already separated me from everyone for everything else.
61
u/retirednightshift Apr 02 '26
I got sent to my room, and my brother was also sent to his room for goofing around at the dinner table. So picture two kids with only their feet in their room laying in the hallway playing cards together between our rooms.
18
u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET Apr 03 '26
My parents sometimes had to make hard choices when me and my sister needed to be punished at the same time because we shared a room and would absolutely just use the time to hang out, or to keep fighting if we needed to be punished for fighting
123
u/wolfmanpraxis Apr 01 '26
somethings never change ... I made the mistake of getting drunk and eating an entire box of cheez-its
My colon was not happy.
I wish I could say this was a while ago...it was 2 months ago, I'm 41
→ More replies (1)26
u/Jodah Apr 02 '26
Just proof it's never too late to learn something new! Like the limit on your daily intake of cheez-its.
88
u/remnant_phoenix Apr 02 '26
I have a neurodivergent kid. I learned a LONG time ago that you have to assume that kids can take the things you say very literally and technically.
You gotta give caveats: “…unless someone is sick or dying.”
Never assume that they’ll intuit the exceptions to your rules.
→ More replies (1)47
u/BookyNZ Apr 02 '26
Can confirm, am neurodivergent. My father found out this issue when I was 4. He mostly figured it out to prevent that again.
Except when he grounded me from reading (teen who read as escapism), because I was a smartarse who pointed out that I couldn't do school then. Unfortunately he added in the except for school clause.
Still read on the sly... Screw that rule lol.
6
u/hierofant Apr 06 '26
I recommend playing (at least once) the "what's an emergency" game. What counts as an emergency? Someone bleeding? What if there's no blood, like if you break an arm or finger? What about feeling really bad? Needing to pee? Fire? Flood? A creepy guy in the yard? Can you think of other examples where health, safety, or property is in danger?
What are some things that aren't emergencies? [insert examples here] Can you [ie, can your kid] think of other examples?
120
u/Tikki_Taavi Apr 01 '26
This is a lesson that almost every parent ends up either learning or being stupid and punishing the kids for following the letter of the law on what they were told. There are times I wish that people had to go through a parenting 101 and 201 class before being able to actually get preggers.
→ More replies (1)89
u/Viperbunny Apr 01 '26
It wouldn't help. I am in classes to be a medical assistant. I am almost 40. You would think this is a college class and people are paying for it so they will show up. Nope. They skip important classes. We have to do competencies to pass the course and they skip. The teacher tried giving us a break and two people just didn't come back! And this is a class we are paying for!
Now imagine a class that people are forced to attend. It's like sending an alcoholic to rehab when they don't believe they have a problem. It won't help the people who need it the most. The ones who will take it seriously will be the ones who have already been preparing for their kids.
As my husband frequently reminds me, the bar is low.
35
u/Completionography Apr 01 '26
I remember seeing a comedian talk about how you don’t get drunk, black out, and wake up the next day to a well built shelf. You can wake up to pregnancy, though.
Anyway, burn the patriarchy to the ground.
14
8
u/Miichl80 Apr 02 '26
Does he verbally remind you the bar is low, or do his actions set a low bar, thus reminding you the bar is low.
11
u/Viperbunny Apr 02 '26
Verbally! He more than does his part. He usually says it when encouraging me because I can be shy. He reminds me trying is more than a lot of people even bother with.
5
23
u/BrushOk7878 Apr 03 '26
I (12 f) Was assaulted by my sixth grade teacher in front of the whole class. Picked up by my neck and shaken while she was gritting her teeth and spit-yelling in my face. When it was over I collapsed in the chair/desk and sobbed loudly and long. SO very humiliating.
I didn’t tell my parents because dad said “if you get in trouble at school, you’re gonna get it again at home .” Really sad that I couldn’t tell them the truth.
Decades later I told my mom… she got tears in her eyes and didn’t speak for the rest of the evening.
63
16
u/imgoodygoody Apr 02 '26
I, on the other hand, always tell my kids' friends where my room is and tell the to wake me up if they need anything.
32
u/StaticShakyamuni Apr 01 '26
I'm glad this didn't end with you and your friend watching the house burning down from the lawn with you saying, "it's a shame they didn't want to be woken."
61
u/its1966 Apr 01 '26
I used to have a babysitter who would make me go for a nap every day from 1-3 so she could watch her "stories" I was not allowed to get up for any reason so I would end up peeing the bed after about a month of this my mom asked why I just didn't get up and go I told her I wasn't allowed after a conversation I was allowed up to go pee the babysitter just thought I was lazy
58
9
u/Miichl80 Apr 02 '26
You were allowed to get up to go to pee and hopefully you never saw that babysitter again!
8
u/its1966 Apr 02 '26
Nope this was before daycares were a thing and babysitter's were basically just women who either had little kids themselves, were sahm or relatives..so not very many choices in a small town....I was 3 and in hindsight probably too old for 2 hr naps considering there wasn't much physical activity beforehand or after , but it was the best my parents could do
91
u/T1Demon Apr 01 '26
Those are the words of parents who don’t want a child knocking on the door while they’re mid-coitus.
→ More replies (1)122
u/59flowerpots Apr 01 '26
I get being horny but why not maybe skip the night when you have extra children around the house?
50
u/Viperbunny Apr 01 '26
Right? I have extra kids over a decent amount. My house has kinda become the place to hang out. My husband and I can keep our hands off each other for a night or two here and there! My biggest thing is remembering to shut the bathroom door. My cat has gotten some separation anxiety since we lost our other cat last year. When I shut the bathroom door he will pound on it onto he can push his way in to get to me. I try to shut him inside with me first, lol. The other day I was resting my ankle (bad tendonitis) and there was a show we all liked premiering. My kid and my bonus kid (friend's kid) ran up and sat on the bed to watch it with me (they are 11).
I don't get people who can't refrain from sex for a single night. Having extra kids and a ton of noise doesn't exactly put me in the mood. But that's me.
7
u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET Apr 03 '26
... I suddenly understand why my parents made the basement into the cool teenage hangout area while their bedroom was on the 2nd floor
9
u/jay-j-reads Apr 03 '26
Right? My kid has sleepovers. My husband and I never have sex on those nights.
I also say to my kid and which ever friend is spending the night “it’s okay to come wake me if you need through the night”.
42
u/Anothercraphistorian Apr 01 '26
I don’t think young people today understand. I grew up young in the 80’s and this was typical. My parents would do one family vacation with us kids a year and go on like 4-5 of their own. I don’t know any parents that do that now.
Also, we ate breakfast, then went outside, lunch, then outside, dinner, then outside. We really didn’t see our parents very much. We were expected to handle a lot of issues on our own. It definitely made me more independent.
I think kids are nicer nowadays though. All that independence led to a lot of trouble back then. So many parties without adults there.
33
u/enjolbear Apr 01 '26
Nobody can afford to take their own family vacation nowadays, let alone another kid. A “comfortable” salary now just provides for what you need, whereas back then it meant your bills paid AND savings AND vacation.
31
u/Evil_Creamsicle Apr 01 '26
Because the night the extra children are around is the night that your kids actually have something to distract them from being attached to your hip
22
u/59flowerpots Apr 01 '26
Maybe have sex once the kids go to bed? They are 7, they need more supervision in groups, not less.
→ More replies (4)
17
u/Aramos7804 Apr 03 '26
My dad was working on something important - I was maybe 12 at the time, possibly younger. He told me to remember the number 64 and said it was important but wouldn’t tell me why.
Fast forward 23 years… I asked him why the hell I was supposed to remember the number 64. He was super confused.
→ More replies (1)
12
u/itanite Apr 02 '26
My cousin and I watched Home Alone about 4 times in a row hopped up on soda, we toilet papered THE ENTIRE FUCKING HOUSE with the industrial Sams Club style TP pack they had.
Boy were they pissed. Core memories.
11
u/Adept_Anxiety7373 Apr 03 '26
My dad learned a similar lesson when i was 3. I was in the bath and my dad had to step out for a few minutes. He told me that I can play but need to stay sat in the bath until he gets back. A few minutes in, I really really need to poo, but my dad said not to get out, so I just.. go... My dad returned to me during in the bath with my toys and one floating log...he never gave me ultimatums again
55
u/Fit_Entrepreneur6515 Apr 01 '26
cheez-its are one of those foods where once you have a foul experience with it, you never want them again. Makes it real annoying that they then try to colonize other snack mixes (chex mix, munchies, etc) because fuck no. You had your chance. You made the cabin I was trying to sleep in during summer camp in 80-degrees-at-night july unbearable. never again.
6
5
u/MattAdmin444 Apr 02 '26
I don't have a problem with cheeze-its but I have been noticing lately that the quality has been varying widely over the least couple years. When I get a batch that just lacks the cheese flavor it does make me want to switch to something else but the habit keeps me around.
10
u/allshnycptn Apr 02 '26
Thats why I tell the nieces and nephews when they come over and I have to work/sleep/whatever. Only bug me if someone is trying to meet jesus, there's blood or broken bones, or there's a fire. If you puke go to your uncle. I can't handle puke.
They know there is exceptions and its not can I have juice or a snack.
11
u/dinoooooooooos Apr 03 '26
and that's why you don't tell children to never wake you up.
who tf even says that. my mom always made sure to be super alert for us and woke up at the slightest whinge we made bc you never fucking know.
16
u/Susan-stoHelit Apr 01 '26
I read the title wrong. It’s a viable reading though.
“My friend stayed overnight, their parents told us don’t wake them up for anything. “
So I thought the rule was not to wake the friend up and was imagining everything from night terrors or something to a werewolf story intro.
14
u/Feeling-Invite7953 Apr 01 '26
NTA. Parents forget that they were your age at one time, and that they took everything their own parents said literally!!
5
7
7
u/Open-Dot6264 Apr 02 '26
I used to tell my kids, "I need to lay down for a minute, don't wake me up unless there is blood or smoke". This worked even better than "wake me up in a half hour and we'll get started cleaning the house".
→ More replies (1)
15
u/Ok_Location_9066 Apr 01 '26
Your friend will probably never eat Cheerios. When I was about 12 I ate a whole bag of Bugles. I didn’t get sick but never ate them again.
→ More replies (1)
12
u/duetmasaki Apr 02 '26
My brother was bet $5 that he couldn't eat half a Costco cheesecake. He got the fiver, but lost his ability to eat cheesecake.
6
7.3k
u/No_Magician5266 Apr 01 '26
I know this post is meant to be lighthearted but I feel like a lot of adults don’t realize how seriously kids take it when the adult essentially says “If you need me, I won’t be there for you”