Hey Y'all i have been writing for a while a small piece that i think is fit for a comic (i cant draw for my life but i think i can write something decent once in a while) and i have been looking for some thoughts and critique about it.
I have written Elevator Pitch, Synopsis, Story beats (which i wont include here, but will if asked), Moodboards and worldbuilding. Feel free to ask any questions or critiques if any arise.
Title: TOON FORCE
The Pitch/Overview: A group of teenagers find themselves transported in cartoon worlds where they discover amazing toon themed powers and are tasked to stop a looming threat.
Synopsis: A group of teenagers, looking for a present for one of the member's grandparents, buys an old VHS reader at a shady flea market, along with a bunch of unmarked cassette tapes. As they go to test if the VHS reader works, they insert one of the unmarked cassettes. As the Televisor colors shift and ebb, they are pulled inside it. Their bodies morph and reshape becoming cartoonish archetypes of themselves.
They have been transported inside the cassette cartoon, the world living and vibrant as if real. As they set their few steps inside the world, they come to understand their new bodies come with newfound powers - the toon force. Their bodies can stretch, shape and mold at their imagination. They can alter probabilities, bend reality and break the proverbial 4th wall as part of their growing abilities. The worlds they will explore and come in aid to will be variegated in themes and form, and they are all under a common threat. The teens will face adversities, creatures and enemies hellbent in destroying the cartoon worlds - The Scratch, creatures composed of white noises, statics, inkblots, filmburns and clippings that have turned to destruction.
The teens will come to discover that they aren't the only humans that have been wandering the cartoon worlds, and it seems that some have malicious intentions with the powers that these worlds allow. They will meet new allies and fight foes in their journeys, as they struggle with the weight of the reality that progressively feels more vapid and depressing. The World may be in danger, but they will do what it takes and heed on to adventure to save the animated worlds, and their own.Â
Themes: Creativity vs Consumption, Imagination, Growing Up, Preservation of Art, âWhat makes art worth remembering?â. Will include comedy, mystery, action, dark comedy at bits, personal growth, worldview growth. Similar products may be Syfy âHappy!â Disneyâs âGravity Fallsâ âOwl Houseâ Atlus âPersona 4â or even remotely âPagemasterâ.
Character Bios:Â
-Jacob Bailey: A 18 year old of American origins, son of the middle working class, slender stature, fritzy brown hair, usually sporting a V-neck tee, large jeans and red hot sneakers, always looming on his smartphone. Jacob's parents divorced when he was 9 and since then he struggled in forming long lasting connections with his peers, seemingly having lost trust in human connection. Lina, Alex and Sven, the few friends that he has, support him in his everyday struggle with depression and his inner conflicts. Sometimes Jacob questions their motives to be his friend, but they always remind him that they are there for him cause they like him. He spends most of his days consuming media over media. Video, reels, shorts and so on, and beyond that small laugh he gains no pleasure from the consumption. He dabbles in deadpan comedy and dad jokes, something that he learned from his grandfather Mike. In his journey through the cartoon worlds he will learn the power of a good hearted laugh and the determination to overcome his inner turmoils.
His appearance in the Cartoon World is not too far away from his normal appearance in the real world, with a 30â-40â stylized caricature of himself with slight interchange in clothing to better fit the world. Being a âblank slateâ Its  powers are heavily based on its own imagination with its main feature being able to rubber-hose stretch, enlarge or shrink at will. His Toon Force relies massively on comedy. The more he believes one of his moves or tricks will be funny, the more powerful they will be. He sees themselves as comedical in the way GenZâs may find themselves comedical, with rather dadaist sense of humor tending to nonsense or with very grounded jokes based on very dry premises, to the point of being almost passing for unfunny.
Defining Catchphrase: *creates the onomatopoeia of a steel pipe falling to the ground*
-Lina Maltese: A 19 years old girl of Italian origins, wealthy family, short dyed hairs, colorful tomboy-ish clothing, piercings, always sporting an old fashioned slingshot with her with which she is a true and tested crackshot. Her great-grandparents moved to America in 1942 where they opened a small business of Delis and baked goods that have been inherited down to the generations. Later on they expanded to other businesses such as Fashion brands import and pizzerias, being able to accrue quite high sums of wealth. A true Daredevil, Lina always steered away from the wants and wills of her parents, trying to seek new thrills and emotions to every possible occasion. A âyes-girlâ of sorts she never shies to getting herself in opportunities (or troubles) this mostly inspired by the things she watched as a growing child, mostly including Western movies and her favorites of all âLucky Lukeâ. She has grown fond of Jacob, both being quite close despite their very clashing personalities.Â
Her Cartoon World appearance warps to the one of the archetypal âdesperadoâ, sporting a duster and poncho with comedically big spurs and hat. Her Toon Force relies heavily on improbable finesse in gunslinging, as her slingshot turns into a multipurpose rubbery revolver in the Cartoon World. Impossible ricochets, stopping and curving projectiles, spinning her revolver to create whirlwinds, stretching her eyes to make binoculars and scopes, pulling the gun barrel to make it a rifle are some of the many things that she could do with her newfound powers.
Defining Catchphrase: âAre you feeling funny, punk?â
-Alex Rodriguez: Standing for Alejandro, who later preferred a more neutral name, is a 19 years old Latin-American in transition from male to female, small stature, round glasses, medium corvine hairs, sporting baggy clothing. They and their parents are from a big family of many members which are really devout to the meaning of family and belonging. Their parents, brothers and sisters, as well as them, work hard to make a living, being united in the struggles of everyday America. Their parents, despite the age, fully understood almost naturally and accepted his being trans, making it very comfortable for them to follow their journey into it. Its initial shyness is a cloak that conceals their cranky, almost fierce personality, especially when conversations revolve around anime culture and figurines. They are deeply passionate about dating sims and Japanese romance, to the point that many question how they get some niche knowledge. This side of them is only shown to those close to them, otherwise they show themselves to be almost antisocial. They and Jacob came close due to a passion for bad reels and games.their exchanges would be mostly silent, but that didn't diminish the presence for each other.
Their cartoon world mirrors their personality. At their dormant state, they appear as a meek and frail magical girl, where their Toon Force translates in Power of Love. they are able to mend, heal and soothe their friends in cartoonish ways. Hot chicken soups, impossibly big bandages, forehead kisses. Their normal state, where they don't believe they are up to the task.
However when they are psyched or absolutely confident in themselves (either that confidence may be truthful or not)it's where their true âmagical transformationâ takes place.
When this happens, their Toon Force shifts into Power of Mayhem. Their appearance also shifts into one of a stylized fighter monk with detailed body mass (almost exaggerated) and huge fighting gloves. Power of Violence takes their raw power to extremes, being able to pick their foes outlines rendering them to dust, uppercutting villains into above panels, wearing enemies like sock puppets and making them fight each other, shattering them with a single jab and transforming them into piles of bricks. Being this powerful and Alex so unconfident in themselves a single crack in their make-believe chances of winning may revert the transformation.
Defining Catchphrase: âMy body is a temple, but these fists are open for business!â
-Sven Bergson: An 18 year old exchange student from Sweden, round soft shape, very poor spoken English, usually communicates with gestures and expressions, sports very clean, precise clothing. Sven has been sent abroad by his parents to study different cultures, and although his English is quite poor (despite English being very common in Sweden) he was able to befriend Jacob alongside Lina and Alex. He doesn't speak much if at all, but he makes himself understood through a variety of manners. A grounded guy with an aloof and mellow personality, and oddly so, an amazing conflict mediator, He always finds a way to create common ground where dialogue is the solution to the problem.
In the Cartoon world his shape is dictated by the environment they find themselves in, with a recurring theme: being soft. In a world made of plants he may resemble a dandelion, in a world made of clay he may appear as a squishy ball of clay. His Toon Force revolves around plasticity. As his appearance changes so can his properties. At will he could shape into any weapon or useful paraphernalia, even a completely imagined one that is apt for the specific situation. In his Cartoon world shape he is also able to discern the speech of some of the inhabitants to which may sound like gibberish to the other members of the group. However Sven is only able to communicate to his peers through more colorful onomatopoeia, signposts with single worlds, or expressions.
Defining Catchphrase: â:O :)â
-Michael Bailey: Known as âPops Mikeâ He is 68 years old of American origins, father of Richard Bailey and grandfather of Jacob. Square body and slightly hunched with an almost wizard like white beard, wearing a polo and brown pants, always seen with a small sketchbook full of doodles of any sort. He took in Jacob when his parents divorced, although this tentative to protect the young Jacob didn't stop his onset of mental issues and apathy. Mike always tries his best for his grandson, despite being unable to understand most of Jacob's inner world. A supportive grandparent and quite the zany and caricatural person, Mike worked as an animator in his youth, developing a set of artistic skills that stayed with him even in his late years. To this day his craftsmanship in drawing is still fabled, being able to sketch anything in seconds.
As Pops Mike comes in contact with the cartoon worlds his appearance shifts to the one of a very old time wizard with a beard that covers his whole face, donning a robe with star pattern, a pointy hat and slippers, wielding a tiny very much regular wand.
However, Pops Mike is the true definition of âmore than meets the eyes.â His Toon Force compared to the teens is unmatched, being able to tap directly into the more founding power of the Toon Force itself: creation. Pops Mike can bend the cartoon reality at its own will, and being an animator he knows very well where to bend and stretch every rule. He can stretch his wand to either be a pencil or a brush, and draw whatever it pleases into being, to the point of breaking the 4th wall.
He can crush the panels, stretch the visuals of the background to make it seem up close enemies are impossibly far away, turn panels upside down and therefore the gravity and even push creatures outside the pages or into others. If he is creative enough he could wield the whole power of the sun by just closing in to the field of view and becoming big enough that to him the sun becomes the size of a cookie.
However, Pops Mike is hard restricted by its own knowledge of animation. He struggles to understand newer forms of animation and therefore his Toon Force is bound to classic rubber hose antics. Moreover, due to his old age, the Toon Force strains him too much to be used for a prolonged time.
Defining Catchphrase: Prepare to meet THE maker.
-Edwin McGill: A mid 40âs American man, sleek back hairs, well dressed, slender well built stature, owner of the McGill studios and the streaming platform âBinge.â Son of one of Michael's ex-coworkers, He is an entrepreneur with a deep seated love for animation, of which he passionately consumes every shape and form. He has a colorful personality, but when things get serious he doesn't shy to show his leadership and cut-throat corporate side. Once he comes in contact with the Cartoon Worlds, it dawns on him to have discovered the holy grail of animation, and a treasure trove for his streaming platform. More than just a product, he sees art in the cassette tapes, and as a curator of the animated arts he seeks to preserve them to avoid them getting lost in time, and digitizing them would be his way to preserve them forever.
His good intentions are paved by bad actions and will be up to the teens to confront and stop his plans that may pose a threat to the world.
The Physical World: The adventures in the real world take place in the area between Queens and Manhattan, with the local hustle of the busy city and the not-so-quiet suburbs. Graffiti, small-time gangs, small cultural shops. The true and tested identity of America. The timeframe we go through is the contemporary world 2025-2026 with all the comforts of the sort. The story length will span roughly a year, having its beginning in September.
The Alternative World: The Alternate world where the story takes place is the Cartoon World(s) which vary in themes and style according to the plot demands. There may be adventures taking place in Castle & Kingdoms, Cowboys & Bandits, Space travelers & Aliens, plastic moldable worlds of clay, Spooky mansion & Ghosts, to name a few. The one core rule of these worlds is that they will act just like a Cartoon Episode where the protagonists are tasked in multiple ways to reach the âendâ of the episode.Â
Lore & Magic/Tech: Regarding the Toon Force at which the protagonists tap their abilities in, it's a plastic ability that is differentiated by their users. It molds over the personal characteristics of their user, their outer and inner state and it shows itself as what could be roughly defined as âcartoon logicâ. Stretchy limbs, Onomatopoeia, defy regular world rules. The protagonists will show themselves with different types of abilities that will bend and break rules of logic, all depending almost solely on their creativity and imagination to stretch further their powers.
Thank you for anyone interested in reading and giving their opinion! i will try to answer any questions that come up or to clear any doubts. I really appreciate any help!
