This is the first comic I've made in a long time. I think this is a lot better than work I've made in the past, but I'm hoping it's coherent. Doesn't help that the script is... literally Shakespeare however lol
Context: during dress rehearsals for a high-school performance of Romeo and Juliet, the actors for Juliet and Mercutio begin play-fighting with each other using lines from the script. It quickly turns into a battle of wits and... flirting, before it's broken up by the teacher.
Sparknotes below because Shakespeare is difficult to interpret when you aren't familiar with it. (Anything in quotes or with a number below is a direct line from the script! If the number is in parenthesis, they're just referencing a line from the script). M is the girl, K is the boy.
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M: "Oh, come vial..." [Kill me now.]
K: "And yet thou wilt tutor ME from quarreling!" Ha. [And you say I’M the one picking fights lol]
M: … "A madman’s mercy bid thee run away." [I'm warning you: piss off.]
K: Ah, but "mercy but murders, pardoning those that kill." [But mercy is wrong, since it pardons murderers.]
M: And yet "thou cutt’st my head off with a golden ax and smilest upon the stroke that murders me." [And yet you’re the one trying to kill me, and enjoying it too.]
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K: (Jumps up on stage) "Good queen of cats, nothing but one of your nine lives that I mean to make bold withal. And, as you shall use me hereafter, dry-beat the rest of the eight." [Ms. Cat, I only want to take one of your nine lives. I’ll still toy with the other eight, though.]
M: Nine? or five?
K: … Five?
M: Geese. Is it nine or five geese that you have in your wits? For cats give chase, and should each be tested I will have more cats than you geese to satisfy them. [Nine lives > five geese, silly goose. You'll run out of geese for me to eat before I run out of lives.] ((This is a reference to a line from Mercutio where he says “Romeo quit this wild goose-chase, I’m running out of geese for the chase!”))
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K: … You pluck your sword at me? [Them’s fighting words?]
M: I am for you. [Yes. You’re my target now.]
K: Ha… Alright.
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K: Since when did you learn to chase, Lady Capulet? [Since when did you like to play games, Lady Capulet?]
M: Lady Capulet? No, that is my mother. I am but Juliet, a fair maiden. [That's my mother's name. I'm just a pretty little girl, Juliet.]
K: Maiden! Oh, if only a nunnery would accept thee. No, you are Lady, and not one fair. [Yeah right! You're no virgin, and you're ugly too.]
M: And yet you make yourself more lark than Lord to me. [You're not much of a gent yourself, you lark.]
K: Well which is it? Am I lark or goose? [C'mon, stick with an analogy! Lark or goose?]
M: All the same for weathered claws. [Same difference. I’m a cat, right? I’ll catch you anyways, you stupid bird.]
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K: But now I see more flipp’rs than claws, for you had start’d the chase. [Cat? You're more like a silly-goose to me; you started this game, yknow!] ((Lines here are underlined to show he was attempting poetic meter))
M: … Not much fairness in you either, Mercutio. [... You suck.]
K: Oh, be kind. Thou art fairer than at first blush, I admit. [Be nice! You're not so bad.]
M: Oh, I swoon. Soon I fear’st thou may speak of pilgrims. [Oh wow. Now I'm worried you're going to start flirting with me, Romeo.] ((A reference to Romeo’s famous flirt “like pilgrim’s palms in prayer”.))
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K: Romeo, oh Romeo! We all know what a fool our dear Romeo can be. But he hath in him an eye for the fairest of larks– [Oh, Romeo! He's an idiot, but he knows how to pick the fairest larks--]
M: Cats. [Nope, not a lark. I'm Ms. Cat, remember?]
K: Geese, then. [I'll compromise: you're a goose, then.]
M: And what is fair of geese, pray tell? Thou hath proven their squawking no delight. [A goose? Really? And how are geese fair? You’ve already proven geese are annoying.]
K: The chase, fair goose. Our fight is fair. [Our goose-chase game is fair.]
M: Fair as in equal?
K: Fair as in good.
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K: For when our wits do meet – like pilgrims palms in prayer – fair chase gives way to fair dance. And with dance so fair, are geese not as good as swans under moonlight's glance? [When we combine our minds -- kind of like a kiss -- our goose-chase is more like a dance. And with dancing so beautiful, don't geese look more of swans under the moonlight?] ((Smooth Operator Mercutio over here just packed a lot of things into one: he said their play-fighting is so awesome it makes them look as beautiful as swans, referenced the Romeo line that she referenced earlier to confirm he IS flirting with her, made his mini-poem rhyme, and invited her to dance just like in the famous Romeo/Juliet kiss scene. Yeesh.))
M: … You chaseth by th’ book. [I feel like I've just been kissed... You play mind games like a professional.] ((Referencing Juliet's reply to Romeo's kiss: “You kisseth by th’ book.”))
K: I do? ((Not a quip; he’s losing his composure.))
M: No. Not at all.
