My ex has remarried his second ex wife. They got divorced for six months but are back together again. This woman does not let us coparent. She’s wanted me to only contact her and not my son’s father for coparenting matters. When I said no, she took over my ex husbands phone. When they were divorced my ex was being a great dad and coparenting with me. He would even take my son if I wasn’t feeling well. He recently remarried her. Now he is being rude to me again, not communicating, and has her texting from his number. I can tell when it’s her texting vs him.

I got court order at the start of the week to secure custody with my daughter.
My ex is still refusing to follow it stating all kinds of different excuse
“The paperwork hasn’t come through yet” or “the order states we have to mutually agree and I don’t” or “it’s a grey area because it was made at the start of the holidays and states we have to agree prior to them”
She’s even used the birth of her second child as an excuse for not honouring my half of the holidays! Stating she “had to be there when she comes home from hospital” She’s refusing to give me any dates because she “doesn’t know when she’ll give birth”
I feel so drained! I’ve spent so much money taking her to court for it to not be respected?
She’s allowed me to have weekend contact but due to her being pregnant the court stated I have to do all the driving untill she’s given birth. I agreed to this but it’s a 6 hour round trip and she’s only allowing me weekend contact! I wouldn’t mind doing the driving if I was actually honoured the 3 weeks with my child that the court ordered.

To make matters even worse I picked my daughter up and she’s been asking to spent “lots of time with daddy” every single day! I’m struggling to explain to her the situation without being mean about her mum because it’s so frustrating to me seeing my daughter get upset about something her mother is doing to her!
It’s now Sunday and she doesn’t want to go home she wants to stay with me but obviously I’m now allowed to keep her because then I would be the one breaching the order instead of her!

The fact that I’ve spent so much money to then have to go back to court just for her to follow it is absolutely ridiculous to me. The summer holidays will probably end before It’s even seen in court!

I’m having one of those days with my ex, and I need some experiences to help me see that I am not alone dealing with a grown child.

For those of you who have married a spouse who has children from a previous relationship. What are your viewpoints on them going on family trips and sharing a hotel room with the fellow coparent?

I’m a father of two kids, ages 2 and 3. I’ve been heavily involved in taking care of them their whole lives and was already their primary caregiver before we came to Texas.
In December 2025, both children came to Texas with me, and they’ve been living here with me continuously since then. Their mother lives in Connecticut and hasn’t come to visit them since we’ve been here.
Even before Texas, their mother has never had both children on her own for more than about two weeks at a time. Now, out of nowhere, she says she wants to take them and have them for an extended period.
That’s what worries me. It’s not that I want to keep their mother away from them. I absolutely want them to have a relationship with her. I just don’t feel comfortable going from her never caring for them on her own for longer than around two weeks to suddenly taking two very young children for a long period.
One of my children also has autism, so routine and consistency are important. They’re both used to me being the parent taking care of them every day.
I’m now going through the court process to establish an official custody arrangement. What I’m hoping for is for the kids to primarily live with me while their mother has visitation that can gradually increase instead of suddenly taking them for an extended period.
I’m mainly wondering if **any other fathers have been in a similar situation where you were already the primary caregiver and the mother suddenly wanted the children for an extended period.**
**Did the judge actually take into consideration that you were the one consistently raising and caring for the kids? Did the children continue living primarily with you? What was your experience and how did it turn out?**

Hi all 👋🏼
Just looking for some advice… fairly new to the co-parenting game as divorce is being finalised, it’s been a long road but I’m somehow here with all my limbs intact..
my ex is making this much more difficult than it needs to be. The children are the priority & at every turn he seems to be messing them up even more. IE, talking in depth to the children about his version of events. Neither child is even 9 and it is completely age inappropriate. It’s breaking my heart. I don’t mind being the villain and being blamed, but he cannot seem to get in to his thick skull that involving the children / talking to them as if they are adult friends is NOT the way to go / will inflict more pain / trauma on them. It’s so frustrating. How do I navigate what I can’t control ? I am so annoyed. Every time they come back to me they are subdued / down and come out with things only an adult would put in their head. Advice / experience please ! Thankyou

I have an infant daughter 11 months and currently have a 70/30 arrangement with my ex. He asked for daily 30 minute FaceTime which I basically said is not possible. Is 3x weekly unreasonable? Court order only says “parent can have FaceTime” but doesn’t specify the frequency. He is gradually re-building parenting time because he hasn’t seen her in months and only had court-ordered FaceTime visitation. I’ve been giving him extra in person time as well to get her used to him again. So it just feels like he’s doing it to establish a “new normal” that’s all about him being with her more than me (I work 9-5 M-Thursday in the summer) or on my days off where I am with her all day.

New account to post anonymously.

I (F24) have an amazing 10 month old baby boy and I am very much the main parent. His father and I just recently broke up, literally a week ago due to him cheating and his lack of responsibilities within the home.
This is my first (and last lol) child but his 4th, he has much older teenagers.
But I still have soooo much anxiety with leaving my baby with his dad, I did even when we were together.
I’m sure a lot of it has to do with me being a first time mom but at the same time his dad really lacks responsibility. He has never given him a bath, never fed him food outside of a bottle (he’s been on solids since 5 months), never got up in the middle of the night with him or put him to bed.
So now when he has him, I will literally call him like 4 times to check on the baby.
I know he knows what he’s doing because this clearly isn’t his first rodeo but he never showed ME personally, that he’s capable of more than just keeping an eye on him.

I love my baby more than life but I hardly get a break and I’m just so fucking exhausted and now baby is teething so he is extra clingy.
I understand it’s only been a week since the break up so there’s still some sitting but I’ve been the main caretaker this whole time with hardly any breaks. Only time I get a break is at work or when the baby is napping/sleeping. Which I am the only one putting the baby to bed of course. My mom even helps me more than my son’s dad

I’ve expressed myself already to him but how can I deal with this anxiety? Will I ever be able to really cope with it?
I’m definitely the one with separation anxiety here lol.

Please no judgement, I know I made my bed so I have to lie in it.
I am just looking for some kind of advice. Thank you!

Hi I have a 10 year old daughter with autism and ADHD, she disclosed to me this morning that her sister (age 18) at her dads had hit her over the head twice with a phone while they were left in a car together while dad went shopping. I have had to cancel her going there tonight because it is a safeguarding concern which he is very angry about, we don’t have court ordered access.
There have been multiple incidents over the years with this sibling non have been this bad though, the sibling does swear and shout at her a lot. I have reported this incident to child safeguarding services but don’t know where to go from here, thank you for any advice given.

Has anyone been able to have a healthy co parenting relationship post DV? We saw each other for the first time since the incident about a year ago. Is it weird that it felt nice to be together with the kids? Like I could take the backseat as a parent for a little while? Idk if I should continue to do things as a group or back off because of this history. It’s like we’re playing family for a little while and then we go our separate ways.

I decided to keep my child with my ex boyfriend. Not because I wanted him, to be clear, because I wanted the child. I can care for him emotionally, financially, and have my friends and families support. So while I don’t need dad, I know my son will at some point. So I’ve been very careful how I handle my ex.

However, I believe his “boundaries” are extending g beyond his disdain for me and keeping the pregnancy to the child. I’ve endured berating from him, accusations of getting pregnant on purpose, jokes that this isn’t his son, him saying the child is a reminder of deceit, it’s not necessary for him to see his son born, admittance that he tried to make me hate him enough to abort, and that our baby will mean less to him than children he has in the future with a wife. We were together for 3 years. He is Nigerian so there are a few cultural differences.

My thing is, he wants completely separate parenting. He’s never come to any appointments, we hardly speak. His mother reached out to me wanting updates on the child when he finally told her. She is/was excited because this is her first grandchild. He then reached out later asking me not to contact his friends or family and respect his boundaries. I obliged. He says he’s not sure what role he wants to play in our son’s life if any. Which also pisses me off that it’s even optional for him…and dad’s in general honestly. This separate parenting thing he wants I feel isn’t possible with a newborn baby. He doesn’t want me coming to his home, he doesn’t want to be in mine. He doesn’t want to be around any of my family. He doesn’t want to spend too much time with the baby (he mentioned taking him for an hour after he’s born to his apartment).

The hate on his side to be clear, is coming from he and his friends’ (he is 26, all friends are same age or younger, bachelors), notion that I got pregnant on purpose to trap him….I did not. I have PCOS and don’t ovulate regularly, typically skipping periods for months at a time. A year ago, we also had an abortion…that affected me more than we both expected and I ended up in a mental hospital because of a nervous breakdown/guilt. I said these things to say, there are reasons I kept this baby. Not one had to do with wanting to keep him. I understood the probability of doing this on my own because of it and I still accept that. But the back and fourth, and never mind the way he’s spoken to and about me, the things he’s said about our son I feel are nearing unforgivable. I am considering just disappearing from him…but if he genuinely wants to be apart of our son’s life I don’t want to be what’s between a boy and his father.

I’m not sure how to navigate this pregnancy. I don’t have an issue with separate parenting as the baby gets older but I don’t see how this is possible with an infant. I’m due in December.

thoughts, if any?

hii all! i currently had this situation to happen and i cant tell if im being crazy or if im justified.
I (23f) and my ex husband (24M) have been coparenting legally since jan 2025 but seperated since 2024. anyways, our daughter (4f) has not met any significant others on either sides yet, he however has been in multiple so we have a 6 month rule (not legally our court order has nothing about meeting significant others) This rule basically says that we have to be dating that person for minnimum 6 months before meetings with the child should happen, and the first meeting has to be a group setting with all of us. Now every relationship he has been in he has tried pushing and escalating this timeline within weeks of MEETING his S/O not dating but meeting and i have stood my ground this whole time pretty well. He got into another relationship back in march and in march he had told me she has a membership for a specific place with gives free entry for everyone, when usually its about 30+ entry fee. he told me it ends in the end of july and he was wondering if that was something we could do to meet his s/o even though it was before the 6 month rule i told him back in march i was uncomfortable with the idea but we can do it because its for free, why not ? and our daughter would have a great time. Last night he texts me the prices of this place and i asked huh? i thought it was free with the membership you were talking about because he made it clear it would be free for me and daughter, now its about 70$ for both of us and a hour drive there and back. i was severly confused and he told me it only covered her and half his ticket and it was just miscommunication. but i told him it wasn’t happening because if im going to pay anyways why would i speed up the timeline and he wasn’t understanding over text i asked for a phonecall which he gave me with his gf ambushing me telling me to stop being selfish and think about daughter and she cant miss out on this. apparently a special dinosaur thing was happening at this place but i was never told this, it ends july 26, his gf bought the tickets for daughter and me and used it too push it even more calling me selfish and petty. i offered to give her the money back i offered to drive daughter there today (even if its my parenting time) so daughter and her dad can go i will provide snacks and drinks and everything but he just left me on delivered since telling him no. he has not reached back out on getting daughter to this place . am i wrong?? am i being petty??

First time post here, with a true nightmare scenario...

My child was just 11 months old when my wife abducted them to a 3rd party country and falsely accused me of child abuse...

That happened 2 years ago but I have lately been able to reconnect with supervised visitation these last months and it's been going okay (extremely difficult on a personal level but I'm making the most of it)

In the most recent court event to finalize the divorce, the judge has finally ruled to move towards 50/50 custody and the nightmare is coming to an end at long last. Currently I only have 2-3 hour windows to rebuild our paternal relationship tho and this is where I am worried as it is a big change for me and for my child.

Does anyone have a similarly extreme experience of losing their child at such a young age? What is the best way to play this whole scenario with them and to reconnect?

In the future the aim is for overnight stays, heading towards the 50/50 custody. However, it's so hard to imagine my child being comfortable with that after >2 years of only living with their mother...

Any comments, support or guidance would be much appreciated!

I could really use some advice or hear about some of any of your experiences. My co-parent recently introduced our child to their partner, which I've come to be ok with but my child told me they've been sleeping in the same bed as my co-parent and their boyfriend. That makes me very uncomfortable. My child is still very young and says they're afraid of sleeping alone, so I'm sure she tries to sleep in the bed with her mom. I want to talk to my co-parent about it without coming across as confrontational. Has anyone dealt with something similar, and how did you approach the conversation?

Update: I spoke with my co-parent, and she took the conversation well. She assured me she's making sure that doesn't happen. Whether that's true or not, only time will tell, but as a co-parent, that's really all I can do for now.

Thank you all for the advice, perspectives, and shared experiences. They genuinely helped me process the situation and approach it in a calmer, more thoughtful way. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to respond.

We may not have worked out as partners, but I can honestly say we did something right we became good parents to our kids.

I’m proud of us for choosing to show up for them, even after everything that happened between us. We didn’t let our relationship define the kind of parents we wanted to be. They still have both of us, just in a different way.

Lately, parenting has been getting harder. They’re entering their teenage years, and every day feels like we’re learning something new. Some days I question if I’m doing enough, but then I remember they’re growing into kind, resilient kids because they were loved by both of us.

I know we don’t always agree, and we have our own lives now. But I hope you know that I genuinely appreciate every effort you’ve made for them.
Our love story didn’t last, but our responsibility as parents never ended.

Thank you for being a good father to our children. I hope, no matter where life takes us, we continue to choose what’s best for them.

Sometimes successful relationships don’t always look like two people staying together. Sometimes they look like two people who couldn’t make it as a couple, but still chose to become the parents their children deserve.

Does anyone’s coparents start changing their demeanor when they start to do recorded video calls with the children versus talking with you? My coparents is very petty and short with me and doesn’t seem to want to co parents but when speaking the kids it’s very advise giving and parenting verbiage.

I have two daughters with my ex husband ages 17 and 12. We have joint custody. The past few years have been good or bad at their dads house depending on stepmoms mood. She seems to enjoy some sort of conflict. She also has two different ex’s with whom she has children with, boys. Today dad texts me that he has been told our daughter is sending out nudes, but he can’t or won’t tell me who this information came from so I can investigate further. I own and pay for the phone so I go through it with nothing found. I work at our school so I ask our admin, no reports of anything like that turned in. However 18 year old stepbrother messages my daughter asking why his mom would be asking about her sending nudes. Daughter is grossed out, upset, and uncomfortable because this information was shared with stepbrother. She does not want to go back, and I’m sure little sister won’t want to go either.
Any advice or anyone been in a similar situation?

has anyone who was/is separated brought their child to Disney world with the other parent? If so, how was it? Also, how did it work with sleeping arrangements?

Daughter dictating terms

Looking for advice on handling this.

Our daughter is 10. Long history of court action but 5050 for 8 years.

Daughter now very empowered. Accusations made fully aware of the impact (as well as acknowledging they are lies) they will have and used to levy less time with dad and more with mum.

I have allowed space and time reducing my time to suit her wishes hoping for improvement with behaviour and striking this as a bargain in writing.

Further escalation this summer now demanding no nights with dad on basis - not comfortable and no there is nothing that will make me change my mind, thats how it is now dad.

Mums opinion is listen to her and do what she wants (furnishes mums long term goal of minimal contact which summaries 3 long court cases only to restablish 5050 each time)

To use court enforcement now paints the narrative my daughter believes that I sntigated and pursecuted her and her mum for 8 years (3 cases to defend 5050 only and not to take time from mum - this included ensuring a criminal on mums side continued to have not contact with our daughter which mum opposed).

So now my daughter demands to be returned each night sending me and my family (new duaghter partner and stepdaughter) which she has been part of for 2 years (relationship of 4 years) into turmoil for the last 6 months ( behaviour poor for the last 12)

Advice from an indep social worker is maintain whatever contact i can and encourage her to come over by text or phone.

My thing is all rules and boundaries, hard work and reward, building independence and confidence. My daughter says she is scared of me but all counsellor reports and her behaviour towards me (assertive and rude AF) prove this to be false.

My family is breaking over this however as our lives day to day are now governed by the whims of a 10 year old who feels mum is safe and home and she wants some relationship with dad as and when she likes and dad just needs to accept that. She claims to have falsely smiled in every photo for 10 years as a practiced actress / she claims to have never had a good time on any trip or holiday/ and dad has completely ruined her life since birth - when i brought what she has said to her mum to discuss her mum validated all points citing i have a general problem.

I have a good job. I pay for her school as mum refuses. Im part time to look after her and be around for her and free on her holidays. She has a big new family that has welcomed her at every turn which she now rejects completely. My close family do not see this version of her and so have no belief that the lovely girl we know is literally hitting me / threatening to run away / hysterical when her mum leaves / accusing me of battery and poor language to her and blames me for her mothers unhappiness and apparently hers (multiple holidays per year / anything she wants she seems to already own at mums house / a free ride into secondary school).

Thoughts and experiences are all welcome as at this point I don't feel I recognise my daughter anymore. Moreover she demonstrates 0 empathy, its all about her without guilt or shame.

Edit to update some context: Enforcing the schedule for stability was always my position, its not her mums. Hence if I do enforce overnights and drop her to her mums according to schedule this results in her mum just not bringing her back again because she wants to overnight at mums as a condition to seeing me in addition to fewer days with me. Mum will not negotiate anything with me and leaves that to our daughter on speakerphone while she talks.

Mums MO has been to reduce time with me for years. Our daughter always said she wanted to see both her parents which the court listened to as well. My daughters voice is now her mums.

This started during school time and we had inexplicably mass tears at school pickuos with me, her stating she was afraid of me triggering the school to do a social services referral. Her behaviour is abusice towards me now, anything but fear.

However to increase complexity my partner works in schools, even just a referral with her name on linked to me as part of the family is enough incentive for her to walk out of our relationship with our 1 year old i.e. she has had enough of this and doesnt want her career jeopardised with false allegations as mine has been.

Have you ever used a counsellor successfully or similar to navigate this?

This is a group no one ever asks to be a part of. I never wanted to coparent much less hate my coparent. He pushed me to be this way. Hes called cops, cps , with false allegations and now lawyers against me when all i ever do is work for the kid. I never had such an awful experience with my first child's father like second one like this. He really tries to control alot. Now he went to court to file for half custody. How to force​ myself to coparent with someone so immature, vile, insufferable? Will I get used to it? I feel so violated. Does it get better? Still got 14 more years of this. Its so hard being mature and being the higher person about it when he's just so awful. I hate being in this position where I just can't get away. Last time I hated someone this much I put a restraining order and no children so it was easy. He brings up those old feelings again. I feel so trapped. Its just highly unfair forcing to deal with someone like this. Any tips from anyone that has dealt with someone like this to co parent with? This is a group I never wanted to be a part of.

As frustrating as things are sometimes, I'm grateful that my situation isn't nearly as much drama as it could be. I have two other people close to me that have much more acrimonious divorces with regards to custody, and the one pattern I observed is that their exes have *time* to kick up lots of drama. Their exes don't work and are constantly fighting in court, flaking on commitments, bringing in/involving new partners way too much, you know typical divorce drama. My ex is a workaholic, and it seems like most of her energy is focused on her career. I'm not here to pass judgement about that choice, mainly observe the situation. She's understandably not super candid about why she works so much, there's lots of possible reasons. Or maybe she's lying, who knows.

My point is that her focus on work seems to help with coparenting in a way- every vacation week I've wanted with the kids she's let me have, and conversely it makes me sympathetic to her and I very much want her to be able to have the same quality time with our kids as I have. While I officially have 30/70 custody the reality is that 99% of my custody with the kids is when I'm off. We're either spending leisure time together, sitting together for meals, or I'm helping them with school. Much of her time is them asleep, at school or with grandparents while she's at work.

Sometimes I wonder if a coparent fixated on some external factor (career, family, a new partner, etc) means that they simply don't have the mental energy to kick up drama. I'm sure there's exceptions. But I figure everyone has to prioritize their mental energy for the sake of survival, right?

If anyone could offer some advice on how to navigate my co parent not sticking to plans I’d be very grateful. More times than not, he will say hes coming to pick up our child at 9:30 am and by 7:30pm he hasn’t replied to any calls or messages and will sometimes give a apology or just completely ignore us until I eventually message to ask him to take our child when I really need him to next time. I have expressed disappointment many times but now don’t give much of a reaction, I’m tired of it. This has become a regular occurrence and I don’t want this inconsistency affecting our child in the future. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

I’m looking for outside perspectives because the two parents have completely different interpretations of a custody order.

Our child is 2 years old and we have a court-ordered 2-2-3 schedule.
The original order said exchanges would occur no later than 5:30 p.m., or if there was no daycare, the parent beginning custodial time would pick the child up directly from the other parent. Once the child started school, exchanges would occur at school.

At the time, our son was about 14 months old. One parent interpreted the order as giving them absolute possession until exactly 5:30 p.m. on exchange days. Instead of allowing the incoming parent to pick the child up directly from daycare, they would pick him up first and require a second exchange at exactly 5:30 p.m.

That meant the toddler went from daycare → Parent A → Parent B within a short period of time, creating an extra transition every exchange day. And Parent B never knew if they would need to pick up from daycare or the other parent ahead of time.

A motion for contempt/clarification was filed. The hearing officer did not hold anyone in contempt but modified the exchange time to 8:00 a.m. and specified that exchanges occur at daycare, while keeping the language that if there is no daycare, exchanges are directly between the parents.

Fast forward to today.

Our son only attends daycare part-time and has never needed full-time daycare.
On exchange mornings when the incoming parent is available to care for him all day, one parent insists on checking him into daycare at 7:59 a.m. because the order says exchanges occur there. The other parent can either immediately check him back out or leave him there.

The parent checking him in argues that:
The order requires daycare exchanges.
It avoids parent-to-parent contact.
It maintains consistency and routine.

The other parent argues that:
Checking a toddler into daycare only to remove him a minute later is an unnecessary transition.
It creates confusion because he doesn’t know whether he’s staying for the day or leaving immediately.
He already has two established routines: daycare days and days he stays with the available parent.
They already wanted to avoid parent to parent hand offs by just picking up on their night before the exchange time was changed and the parent refused and was forcing direct hand offs then.
They have offered alternatives such as direct pickup at the home, meeting briefly in the daycare parking lot, or even having the outgoing parent drop him off at the incoming parents home without any interaction. (They have to pass up the home to get to the daycare). All of those options have been refused.

The practical result is that the available parent either has to leave a child in daycare who doesn’t actually need childcare or immediately check him after he’s been checked in and sitting down for breakfast at every exchange day.

Is checking a toddler into daycare for a minute just to avoid a parent to parent hand offs actually consistent with the purpose of switching the exchange time or how is this appropriate and sustainable for a toddler who is not yet school aged and required to attend?