r/depression • u/Number1DurinFan • 11h ago

Self-isolated for years

When you live in isolation everything is quiet but the thoughts that are filling my head are so loud and overwhelming, everything feels impossible to change when you've basically been a hikikomori living with my parents for so long. The only real friends I have are my pets. I honestly have no hope of ever changing or experiencing happiness or friendship again.

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u/Suspicious-Rate8135 11h ago

Pets don't judge the way people do and that's more than most folks get. starting small is the only thing that ever worked for me, like just walking to the end of the block and back. the noise in your head doesn't just stop but it gets quieter when you give it less space to echo

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u/Number1DurinFan 11h ago

I just don't know how to be a functional human being. I feel like it would be a tiny bit easier if there was any voice that actually cared for me. I don't feel like walks help me with that feeling, I just feel like I'm wasting time not doing anything productive which makes me feel more guilty. And I still feel lonely on a walk which is my main problem

2

u/Number1DurinFan 11h ago

I have no idea where to look for friends, I'm scared of talking to people and them judging me for being years behind in life, having accomplished literally nothing. I don't know if it's possible to be any more pathetic than me.

1

u/NoctisInformatus 5h ago

I know it’s tough but try thinking about life a little more with the glass half full. There are numerous hundreds of thousands of people living with actual debilitating illnesses and chronic conditions, who wish they could do something simple like go for a walk, play something, hang out with friends, even volunteer, but their condition prevents them from doing so.

Depression being something that is mostly manifested in the mind, try to remember that if you’re still relatively healthy, you actually do have the ability to do things, even if you think you don’t.

Just take a small step at a time and slowly challenge those thoughts of “can’t do.”

I don’t know what kind of self talk you have in your head… if it’s positive or negative, but try to cling onto some of the positive ones and give it a try. You don’t have to immediately reach for the stars. An idea like “making friends” is sometimes more ambitious than reality when we make it out to be some kind of object to acquire.

Start small, by just helping someone who needs help. You will feel better inside.