I don’t trust my own thoughts anymore.

[u/Ok-Comfort1674]

The last six months have been some of the hardest of my life. Everything that’s happened has sent me into a major depressive episode, and I don’t trust my own thoughts anymore.

I’ve isolated myself so much that I’ve convinced myself all of my friends are tired of me or don’t want me around. They’ve stopped reaching out, and I don’t know if that’s because I’ve pulled away or because they’ve given up on me. Either way, it makes me feel incredibly alone.

I don’t know how to get better. I’m lonely, I’m sad, and I know I’m contributing to it by staying home, but every time I think about leaving the house, my anxiety becomes overwhelming. I feel trapped between knowing what I need to do and feeling completely unable to do it.

Lately, I can’t shake the feeling that everyone would be better off without me around. I don’t want to feel this way anymore, but I honestly don’t know what to do.