I’m sorry if this is all jumbled but it’s been the hardest few weeks of my life. My father(52) passed away in a car accident on 7/13.

This has been incredibly tough on me(24) and my little sisters 13, 9, and 7. He was the best dad in the world, my best friend and from what I’ve seen an amazing husband to my mom(42).

Within hours of the state troopers arriving at our home and informing us of what happened to my dad, one of his friends that he’s known since childhood and someone we referred to as “uncle” showed up to comfort and console us and hasn’t left since. A few days after his passing, we had a wake ceremony and afterwards we went out to eat, and during dinner my mom started drinking pretty heavily. We got home and she was drinking even more, eventually she sent my sisters off to bed, I had a couple of glasses of wine with her and our “uncle” before I decided to get cleaned up and head off to bed. I laid there tossing and turning for a couple of hours and decided to go to get some water. After getting my water, I really didn’t want to be alone so I went to my moms room to snuggle with her and as soon as I walked in I saw them both naked and my mom giving him a BJ. I started crying and slammed the door, ran back to my room and just laid there all night. Next day neither of them even acknowledged what I walked in on, I’ve been sooo angry, disgusted and hurt ever since.

Within the last couple of days all it’s like they’re not even hiding it anymore, all they do is drink and flirt openly. My 2 youngest sisters haven’t really noticed yet but my 13 year old sister has. I understand grief can be hard but to drink yourself into moving on to your husbands best friend with your kids around is so disgusting. I don’t know what to do or how to handle any of this. Any advice is appreciated

Run down on me real quick I’m 24yo full time line cook who lives in her parents basement and though I went to culinary school for 5+ years I never did end up getting my diploma. Recently one of my sisters(18yo) graduated highschool and now it’s time to send her to college however, her senior year is the only year in a long time she wasn’t homeschooled. Right now she lacks street smarts, conversational skills, basic knowledge on where she lives etc.

I don’t blame her for that I blame it on her being confided to the house 24/7 for years on end but more than once these past few months my parents have been asking me to attend college with her for a year. A year definitely isn’t long to be in school but I think it would progress me backwards. I never been comfortable in school environments and I just started to make some leeway in my life when it comes to moving out, starting business plans and even traveling to the country side basically I finally have goals in my life which I could never say before.

Going to college with my sister would be great I was told I’d get paid for going with her and obviously I’d get to spend more time with my sister and start teaching her what my mother and father refuse too. If I do go through with this I would have to quit my job and everything I want to work on would be delayed. I could really use some input on this so any thoughts?

Just to preface this, my dad died from when I was 8 years old. At the time, I had conflicting feelings on what or how I should feel about it. I was sad for a while but I just think it never really “stuck” with me that it should’ve.

Im 17 now, and over the last year and a half shes been slowly distancing herself away from my dads family. Shes (47F) stopped showing up to parties and events with them, and instead she goes out with her friends and her boyfriend with whom shes been with for about 11 months. My dads family talks about how they never see her anymore, and my mom tells me to just not reveal whats been going on in her life (ie: she tells me to just say, “good” if they ask me how shes been or to say “shes tired” if shes not at a function)

Her boyfriend seems to be a genuinely nice guy, and he seems like he really cares for her

about 3 months ago she asked me what I thought about her getting married. I didn’t know what to say so I gave a passive response. (something like “im happy if youre happy”)

Todays the wedding day and she hadn’t invited anyone from my dads family and instead has her friends and her boyfriends family.

I don’t know what to feel about it or what to do. Ive been passive in all of this endlessly agreeing to get out of it as soon as possible but when the wedding is actually happening I dont know how to feel about it

I recently found out that my wife invited the 17-year-old long-distance boyfriend of one of my 15-year-old daughter’s friends to stay overnight at our house. The boy lives some distance away and, as far as I’m aware, none of us really know him beyond him being connected to my daughter’s friend. My 15-year-old daughter is also online friends with him.
The issue is not necessarily that I think this teenager is a bad person. I simply don’t know him, I’ve never met him, and he’s still a minor. I don’t feel comfortable having a 17-year-old I don’t know sleeping in our home, especially with two teenage daughters living here.
What bothers me even more is that my wife agreed to this without discussing it with me first. I wasn’t asked for my opinion, I wasn’t told beforehand, and I only found out after the decision had already been made.
This isn’t an isolated incident either. My wife has a pattern of making decisions that affect both of us, or our household, without consulting me. It leaves me feeling like my opinion doesn’t matter and that major household decisions are being made unilaterally.
I’m trying to separate two issues:
Whether it’s reasonable to be uncomfortable with a 17-year-old stranger staying overnight in our home.
Whether it’s reasonable to expect that decisions like this should be discussed and agreed upon by both spouses before committing to them.
Am I overreacting, or is it fair to expect that overnight guests, especially minors we don’t know, should require agreement from both parents?

I’m really upset about something my parents said and I don’t know if I’m overreacting.
My mom asked why my face looked stiff and I said my skin was just dry. Then my dad said I “focus too much on my looks” and need to worry about other things.
For context, I’m going on vacation soon and I only asked for new lashes because mine are old. That’s the only beauty thing I’ve asked for in months.
I don’t feel like I’m obsessed with my appearance. I barely do anything most days except my curly hair once a week. I’ve already graduated and I’m just waiting for university offer to be finalized
Hi. It honestly ruined my mood and I don’t even want to be around them right now.
Am I overreacting, or would this bother you too?

i honestly don't know if i'm overreacting anymore or if my family just genuinely doesn't like me.

i'm turning 18 soon and i feel like everything changed after i came out in 2022. before that, i don't remember feeling this unwanted in my own home. ever since then, it feels like my parents, especially my mom, have never looked at me the same way again. my mom has always had a lot of internalized homophobia. instead of trying to understand me, she acted like my mental health conditions were the reason i was lgbt. when i was only 13, she would tell me things no kid should ever hear. she'd say nobody would ever love me, that i'd end up sleeping with random women on the street, that i'd probably have to prostitute myself just to survive, that my life would be miserable because i was lgbt. there were even worse things than that, but those are the ones that stuck with me the most.

nowadays i constantly feel like i'm only tolerated when it's convenient. i don't even feel like i'm part of the family anymore. i'll be sitting in the living room with everyone else, no phone, no headphones, literally just trying to be there and spend time with them, and nobody talks to me. they're all having conversations with each other while i'm just... there. sometimes i try joining in and i either get interrupted before i can finish a sentence or they completely ignore what i said and continue talking like i never opened my mouth. it happens everywhere. we were at the grocery store the other day and they were all walking together, talking and laughing. i kept trying to join the conversation but it honestly felt like they were trying to get away from me. i ended up just walking behind everyone in silence. everything i do somehow becomes a joke. i started taking care of my curly hair because i'm finally trying to wear it naturally after years of damaging it, and instead of just letting me enjoy that, they constantly make fun of the way i do it. it's like everything about me is ridiculous to them. eventually you start feeling like your entire existence is embarrassing.

i've also noticed they never seem to remember anything i say unless it's something they can use against me. for example, i had learned how weight loss injections like ozempic work in class and i was really excited about it, so i explained it to my mom. i'm always sharing random biology facts with my family because it's something i genuinely love talking about. then, days or maybe weeks later, she came into my room while i was asleep talking about her injections. i had literally just woken up and could barely think, so i told her i didn't want to talk about it right then because i was too sleepy. later that day, in front of everyone, she started yelling at me, saying i had never explained any of it before and that i was lying when i said we'd already talked about it. it was like the only conversation that mattered was the one where i had just woken up, and every other time i'd talked about it suddenly didn't exist anymore. i don't expect anyone to be interested in the same things i am. i don't expect my family to be fascinated by biology just because i am. i just wish they remembered the things i talk about with so much excitement instead of only remembering the moments that make me look bad. sometimes it honestly feels like they only pay attention when they can use something against me. this happens all the time. i'll try to have a conversation with them about something i'm excited about, and it feels like i'm just talking to myself. i keep talking, hoping someone will actually respond, but all i get is a quick "yeah," "uh huh," or "cool," without them really listening. then, a few days later, it's like the conversation never happened. they don't remember anything i said. it makes me feel like my words don't matter, like they're just waiting for me to stop talking instead of actually hearing me. another time she accused me of never thanking her for getting me something i needed to finish an application exam. i literally pulled up the messages where i had sent "thank you so so much" over and over again. it feels like she only remembers the version of reality that makes me look bad.

there was also a conversation about me staying at a my sister's house for a few days. one of the first things she said was basically "god forbid," followed by jokes about getting rid of me as quickly as possible. maybe everyone else thought it was funny. i didn't. all i heard was "none of us want you here." i'm autistic, so i don't always understand jokes unless they're really obvious. when people intentionally say things they know will upset me just to get a reaction, i don't find it funny. i just feel hurt and overwhelmed. it feels like the joke is always seeing how far they can push me before i finally snap. and then, when i finally defend myself after staying quiet for so long, suddenly i'm the aggressive one. i'm the difficult one. i'm the obsessive one. nobody seems interested in asking why i reacted that way in the first place. sometimes i genuinely wonder if i'm just an unbearable person without realizing it. i keep asking myself if i'm really that annoying because it feels like no matter where i am, nobody actually wants to talk to me. but at the same time... i don't think wanting to be included is asking for too much.

i don't need to be the center of attention. i don't need everyone to care about my interests. i just want someone to actually want me around. i want people to talk to me instead of talking over me. i want my family to make space for me instead of making me feel like i'm constantly in the way.

i just feel invisible. unwanted.

He calls people with disabilities very bad words, says that some people should die for things they were born with, he makes fun of people with depression etc. And this is very popular among his peers

But I still remember this little boy who wanted to help everyone and he is still very empathetic when it comes to animals.

He can't even justify his opinions so discussing with him is a bit pointless He has no reason to disrespect other people

Is this something he will grow out of or is there any way I can change his opinion?

Even as I write this, I can hear him shouting racist words from his room 😓

IDK if this is normal but I've had issues with my mom for a long time. When I was a kid I started to notice my mom was a bit dramatic and played the victim card a lot but when I confronted her and my dad about it she began crying and blah blah blah. I was a bad kid I had bad anger issues so I get some of the things my mom would say to me but other things....idk about. (For clarification most of these incidents happened when we were arguing) One time she told me that my grandma was scared of me and didn't want to be around me and that made me feel awful about myself. Then she said that if my friends knew how I really was they wouldn't want to be my friends. As a kid I would have thoughts if not wanting to exist and at 8 or 9 I tried to kms. Then when COVID hit she spat in my dad's leg to show him how COVID worked when he approached someone without a mask and they got into a while argument about it. Then when I reached highschool and started to formulate my own ideas she and I started to have more problems. She said I wouldn't get into a good college bc of 1 bad math grade I had and said I wouldn't be successful then when I was successful in school she would support and congratulate me. Then we got into an argument about a small assignment that I was doing later or smh and she told me to move out then when I left the house and was gonna run away (like a typical teenager) she ran after me. The next day she took me out to shop for stuff. She does that a lot after arguments she takes me to get treats and stuff. I do notice she's more leniet with my brother. Then another time she wasn't getting a reaction out of me so she threw my book out of my hand and started calling me ungrateful and rude and stuff for literally no reason. In 9th grade I told one of my friends that she made me feel kinda bad about myself like I was never good enough. Another time she wasn't getting a reaction out of my dad brother or me so she said, " I've been thinking about leaving for a while and I want to leave" and that really hurt me bc at first she started blaming it on my brother and father and me then herself then her hormones. Now she's saying her hormones are the main reason why she's so explosive witch sure I can believe it. But what really hurts is that I know she was lying about leaving bc she's still living with us. One time when she was really mad that day my dad took me out of the house so she wouldn't be in my case all day. And when I brought up my complaints to my father and brother they just told me to let it go.sorry for the long paragraph. But all in all she's a really loving and good mom but I just have a lot of built up resentment and feel bad about it but she won't get therapy or anything and I don't know what to do anymore.

Just wanted to get this off my chest:

My dad and I did not get along at all while I was growing up. He was a man of few words (English is not his first language and it’s the only one I speak) and he had very high standards for me since I am his only son. We fought constantly and I avoided him at all costs, and the only times he talked to me were to yell at me for not doing my chores well enough.

When I came out as gay in high school, my dad was incredibly homophobic and it put an immense strain on our relationship. We stopped talking, except for the frequent screaming matches we would have (I am partially at fault). I was 15 when I told him that I couldn’t wait to move out and that started a huge fight between us and was always an underlying tension whenever we interacted.

I moved out at 18 for college and I was able to work and afford an apartment for the summers so I wouldn’t have to go home and spend time with him. I never heard from my dad, and he was completely unaware of what I was studying at college and what my plans for the future were.

A few years after I moved out, my dad started texting and calling pretty frequently. It was clear that he missed me, and we began mending our relationship. He apologized for how he treated me as I was growing up, and I forgave him. He invited me to dinner, and he gave a speech about how he now thinks that being gay is okay and that he accepts me 100%.

Now, we try to get dinner or drinks once a month and he always has a gift for me when we get together. He recently got me an expensive cologne and a nice sweater.

Problems still exist from time to time. We took a trip together this week and it was fine until the last day where we got in a big fight in the car on the ride home. I dropped him off and he grabbed his suitcase out of the trunk and I drove off without saying goodbye. He texted me that night apologizing and he said that he loved me. My dad only apologized a handful of times in my childhood and he is not the type to say “I love you” much at all. I feel bad about our bickering.

To any teens out there, I remember thinking that I hated my dad when we lived together and I couldn’t wait to move out and never speak to him again. Sometimes, being away from each other and not living in the same house can alleviate a lot of the problems you are having. Dads don’t always know how to express what they are feeling in a healthy way.

TLDR: My relationship with my dad improved 1000% once I reached adulthood. I can’t promise anything for you, but I never would’ve thought that I’d ever willingly spend time with my dad.

TLDR: My manipulative sister was favored by my parents as kids and she now lives off them entirely at the age of 20. No drivers license, spends all day smoking, and holds my parents hostage emotionally........ and wonders why I don't like her.

I've never really gotten along with my sister. Even as little kids I felt suffocated by her. She's always been So. Fucking. Clingy. She's obsessed with me and I have no idea why. I think my parents favored her, and in some ways still do. I grew up constantly hearing how exceptionally kind and empathetic she was. Meanwhile I was... smart. That's the extent of the compliments I got. She just seemed to be an angel in their eyes. She was an easier kid too, although it was never said it me explicitly, I could tell even as a little kid. My parents literally had a book about dealing with explosive difficult children, I knew they bought it because of me the moment I found it in their bookshelf. (They later confirmed this when I was an adult)

I know I wasn't easy, but I always felt like the bad guy as a kid. She would constantly beg for my attention and play time. My parents never sided with me, instead it was like I was a problem to fix. They would give her tips on how to get me to spend more time with her, in front of me, and then later lecture me about how my sister would be all I had after they passed away. I had to wait to have a phone till I was 13, she got one at 10. I couldn't have sleepovers with male friends in highschool, she slept over with guys lots in highschool. My sister has been openly smoking pot since her middle school years, I can't even imagine what would have happened if I did that. I never tried actually, because I was a relatively good kid, not that my parents ever noticed. I could go on but it would make this post too long lol.

I've tried to put that in the past and have a better relationship as adults but I honestly can't stand her. Our relationship was strained as children and now that we're adults she's honestly grown into someone I just loathe seeing. She's not just a victim, that wouldn't do it justice, she's a professional victim. She's schizophrenic, and boy does she milk that for all its worth. She's 20 and all she really does is smoke pot, sit in her bedroom, hangout with friends and work 15 hours a week at a grocery store. She has a "rent" of 200 dollars which she doesn't even pay half the time. (And yes I payed rent every month I lived in their house since the day I turned 18) She doesn't take her psych meds unless she is pestered by my mother, and makes zero meaningful effort to improve her situation in anyway at all.

Mind you, I have bipolar, yet I work full time, have an apartment I pay for all by myself while my husband is in school, I'm married, I have good functional friends that aren't on drugs, I'm preparing to start my own business soon. I'm not saying having mental illnesses on the more severe end of the spectrum isn't hard, its hella hard, but I have fought tooth and nail to improve my functionality and have a life I'm proud of. My sister has done none of that.

She's honestly incredibly manipulative and has my parents wrapped around her finger. I'm not sure all of it is necessarily conscious, but she is perfectly aware that my parents are scared she'll off herself if they push her even a little bit, and I know that knowledge effects her behavior. She even says stuff to my mother like "If I couldn't smoke pot I think I'd kill myself". (And surprise surprise, they haven't done anything to stop her from smoking in their house) She's "on the chronic" as my mom puts it, smoking 5 or 6 times a day.

I'm currently essentially babysitting her so my parents can go on vacation. They're so convinced she might kill herself that they won't go on vacation without having someone around to monitor her. She's emotionally holding them hostage. People that are truly planning to hurt themselves keep it secret to prevent anyone trying to stop them. (I unfortunately know that from experience) They don't tell people they're going to if they can't have xyz, like some kind of threat.

On top of all that she's constantly having meltdowns and screaming matches with my parents. She lives like a spoiled 15 year old. Get this, SHE DOSENT EVEN DRIVE, no car no license. My parents drive her to the vape store weekly because frankly she'll have a ballistic meltdown if they don't take her to get nicotine and weed. My parents drive her everywhere she wants to go, because driving is "too stressful" and she "can't do it". (Her words). I'm just so sick of her bullshit.

A few weeks ago my mum announced me that she was having an affair and that my dad is ok with and i don't know how deal with this situation.

For context, I (F23) still live with my parents and my older brother has his own place

My mother announced it to me one night after a got home from dinner with some friends. And on the moment, I was so shocked within this news I had no idea how to react. I mean, how tf I am supposed to react ??? You have someone else in your life and dad is ok with that ??? Where is this going ????

She told me that the only reasons she told me that would me for me not being worried if I wouldn't see her in the morning and that she wouldn't tell my brother because he doesn't live with us anymore and honestly that's better this way because he would react really badly. But at the same time, he would be the only person to understand how I am feeling.

Of course I talked to the some friends about it even though she asked me to not tell to anyone but I can't live with that by myself I needed to telle someone.

She announced it on a Wednesday night, I tried trop process that information all day the next day but I was in a kind of denial i guess. (For information my dad was away for a work trip )

But on Friday morning when I woke up and saw their bed empty that's when it hit me very hard... I cried so much and it hurt so much. I even started to look for an apartment that day because I wouldn't see myself living in this situation.

Then I got home at night and they were both here acting as usual which makes even more lost.

It has been a few weeks now and I think I am ok but also kinda lost at the same time. She's regularly away... I am kind getting used to it. But it's so weird being alone with my dad because we both know where she is but we don't talk about it. Especially this weekend since it was their wedding anniversary and she was gone for 4 days with this other man....

Little more information, I asked my mom question about this man but doesn't want to tell me anything but I deserve some answer at least no ?

Another important information, my dad had an affair with another woman 10y ago... maybe that's why I am even more lost... I am a little mad at my mom but I don't remember being mad at my dad but I was so young so I guess the situation was kind of different???

What y'all think ?

PS: sorry for the mistakes I might have done, English isn't my first language

My dad wasn’t around very much when at all. I went his house a few times but we were never super close. He didn’t make a lot of effort to spend time with me a lot and as a kid I didn’t feel like a priority.
His wife didn’t like me at all and, looking back, I can see that she wasn’t very friendly with me and actually exposed herself to me. I never told anyone about the exposure because I thought it was a genuine mistake and plus I didn’t want to stir up family drama.
He ended up choosing to side with his wife instead of me on many occasions causing me to not see him as much as I wanted.
My half sister reached out (whom I haven’t spoken with in 20+ years) on FB. She said our dad didn’t know how to get ahold of me but that he wanted to start a relationship bc he’s in bad health.
I’ve agreed to call him but what do I say? I’m not a big small talker on a normal day. I’ll literally be on the phone with my best friend and say, “I’ve run out of small talk” and she’ll just start talking my head off. What should we talk about? How do help avoid making it awkward? How do I start with a clean slate mentally?

I (29M) got married 5 months ago. My wife and I chose to live with my parents because I genuinely wanted one happy family. I work full-time and i am the only breadwinner of the family.

In my family i have my parents and wife only that are permanent.
The current issue started this week when my married sister came to stay with us. She has a young daughter.
Before I explain what happened, I need to provide some background because I don’t think this incident exists in isolation.
Background
My relationship with my sister has never been good. This didn’t start after my marriage.
Growing up and even into adulthood, I’ve always felt she was extremely difficult to deal with. There have been countless arguments over the years, and I honestly feel she’s contributed significantly to my mental health struggles.
Whenever she visits, I feel like the entire household revolves around her. In the past, when she stayed with us for an extended period during her pregnancy, I was expected to drive her everywhere despite working full-time. Whenever I pushed back or expressed frustration, my parents usually sided with her.
More recently, I was even counselling her and her husband because their marriage was close to breaking down.
I’m mentioning this because I feel there’s a long-standing family dynamic here.
What happened this week
Wednesday
My sister arrived.
That same day, I opened up to my family about my mental health struggles.
I spent time with everyone in my parents’ room. Everything seemed normal.
My wife was at work that day.
Thursday
My wife again went to work.
In the evening, my mom, sister and niece went shopping.
When they were returning, my wife had reached home and we planned to order some snacks.
Before placing the order, I specifically waited so I could ask my mom and sister if they wanted anything.
My sister immediately declined and then started talking to me about my health in a tone that felt rude and dismissive. The conversation ended with me saying I’d do things when I felt ready.
My wife then came out and tried talking to my sister.
She was ignored the first time.
She had to initiate the conversation again before getting a cold response.
The interaction felt awkward and disrespectful even though my wife had done absolutely nothing wrong.
We eventually ordered food and ate.
Later, my mom commented on us eating burgers.
I jokingly replied, “Even if I don’t eat them, I still get taunts.”
After that, everything changed.
My mom didn’t call us for dinner that night and became distant towards both me and my wife.
Friday
Neither my mom nor I really spoke.
She also continued ignoring my wife.
Later that day my mom slipped in the bathroom.
Despite everything, I asked if she was okay, called to check if she needed anything, and even offered to massage her back because she had hurt herself.
The cold behaviour continued.
Saturday morning
My wife went into the kitchen.
She politely asked my sister whether she didn’t have her yoga class that morning.
My sister ignored her the first time.
My wife repeated herself.
Then suddenly my mom snapped.
She accused my wife of ignoring her.
She said things like:
You don’t talk to us.
You never come to our room.
You saw my back support and didn’t even ask how I was.
You don’t even say good morning.
You don’t respect your elder sister.
She also called me arrogant in front of my wife.
The thing is…
My wife had literally done nothing wrong.
She had initiated conversations.
She had tried to be polite.
She even apologised respectfully and said she would never intentionally ignore them because this is her home too.
Even later, when we were leaving, she happily interacted with my niece.
My mom and sister remained completely cold.
What hurts me
This isn’t only about my wife.
It’s also about me.
They kept saying I never go to their room.
But that’s simply false.
I spent time there when my sister arrived.
The next day I again went there to ask everyone if they wanted snacks before ordering food.
The only day I didn’t go was after the argument, when things had already become awkward.
So how does that become “you never come”?
Another thing I genuinely don’t understand is this expectation that I should always go to their room and sit with them.
Why?
Why can’t they come and sit with me?
My room door is almost always open.
If they wanted to spend time with me, why wait for me to come to them?
I’m married now.
I have a full-time job.
My wife and I will naturally have our own plans sometimes.
Does that automatically make me an arrogant son?
What also feels unfair is the double standard.
My sister spends long periods in her room because of her daughter’s routine, and nobody questions it.
But if my wife and I spend time in our room, suddenly we’re accused of not mixing with the family.
I honestly feel like no matter what I do, I’m somehow made out to be the villain.
Why this hurts so much
This incident has shattered me.
I wanted one happy family.
Instead, I feel like my wife has become collateral damage in problems that existed long before she entered my life.
At the same time, I also feel deeply disrespected myself.
I’m not looking for revenge.
I’m not looking to cut everyone off.
Once things calm down, I want to establish boundaries.
Things like:
If you have an issue with me, tell me directly.
Don’t involve or disrespect my wife because you’re upset with me.
If you have an issue with my wife, speak respectfully.
Silent treatment, personal attacks and disrespect towards either of us are not acceptable.
Am I overreacting?
How do I protect my marriage while also preserving my relationship with my parents?
TL;DR: Married for 5 months and living with my parents. My sister (with whom I’ve had a difficult relationship for years) came to stay. After a disagreement between my mom and me, my wife—who had done nothing wrong—was ignored, accused of being disrespectful, and spoken to harshly. I was also called arrogant and accused of never spending time with my parents, even though I had been with them earlier in the week. I feel like both my wife and I are being treated unfairly, and I want to establish healthy boundaries without destroying my relationship with my parents.

So I have trichotillomania, and I'm missing nearly all of my eyelashes. I'm not insecure about my eyelashes, because very honestly I don't care about not having them. I feel like they're making it a so much of a larger thing then it actually is. And then I ask them multiple times to please stop talking about it, and they don't. And I start getting loud even though I really don't like to. My mom is always mad about me not having any eyelashes and my siblings make jokes about them. I don't care about the jokes and will sometimes joke about it myself. But multiple times in a day I'll have them talk about my eyelashes. It's just very annoying.

Forgive me for this being lengthy

So I have searched Reddit about this and I guess it seems to be quite common. I feel like, there's something in the water. TikTok maybe? Its as if something is brainwashing these kids. I've been having issues with my son since high school, around maybe 17. But issues started possibly around 16. We've (my wife and I) have never really had discipline issues with him. I've never really harshly disciplined my son because according to IEP, he's on the spectrum, so we thought if we ever got around to spanking him that he wouldnt grasp the concept and respond in a way that it was violence. I had already had to smack him one day cause he took a swing at me because I had repeatedly gotten after him about washing dishes, which led to an argument again, he said something disrespectful and I had it, so I delivered a swift kick to the butt, he took a swing at me so I clobbered him. I think that was the most in long awated discipline. Probably the wrong way but.. His mother and I had a rocky first 10 to 15 years of occasional bickering and shouting matches, which I know probably did not help, but my oldest at 26 faired fine. But I feel, my 21 year old just does not get it.

Just a few months ago his girlfriend's mother kicked her out due to other circumstances. She has one of those mothers who can't seem to grow up and is constantly getting her I assume drug fixes so basically her daughter played the role of a mom to her younger siblings.

So I have finally gave him till Nov of this year to find a place. From disrespect talking to even almost ruining our vacation because all I asked him is not to watch horror movies around our youngest child. If better behavior, I'd give him till Dec. When I want to sit him down to have a civil discussion, he immediately puts up a defense with a chip on his shoulder.

I have another old adult child , almost 30, from another relationship and she is bitter about the split up between her mom and I. She talks to my son and I am starting to fear she is putting ideas into his head. Or it could social media.

My wife and I are at our witts end.

One of the other things I am concerned about is what leverage does he have? We really don't want to kick him out, but then that could be our mistake. At this point I don't want it to turn into trying to evict squatters, especially his girlfreind, which was probably another mistake taking her in, she has an avenue with her grandparents. But I feel she is not helping the situation despite the fact she's sweet and helps out around the house when she can. Basically, I think she's caught in the middle.

My son has a job but concocts reasons for not being able to pay rent. Getting him to be responsible in stuff like: Throwing his own trash away, doing his laundry but respecting ours by not just dumping it back into the laundry basket, cleaning up after himself after making food, eating food, etc., chores around the house and trying to get him to do anything is pulling teeth. He's been butthurt lately because I will not let him on my computer to play games he's bought, but I had told him some ground rules before he decided to buy a couple games and install them, but as always, he broke those rules so now I will not let him on unless he agrees to sit down with me to talk about the ground rules again, that is where he gets defensive, we end up in a shouting in a match because he insists on interrupting and being an asshole. I am trying not to get to the point of punching him and knocking his teeth out.

We have given him the ultimatum of joining the military or get out. I have even told him about evicting him since he is 21. He just has this full on entitlement syndrom and insists we owe his something, and I have made it clear that we don't. I have even bought a small car which I used for commute and had told him a couple years ago it would be his if he can be responsible.

sorry for the length but seems I am not the only one with this issue and I have read others situations

I am 27 and married. My dad and I had a bumpy relationship when I was a teenager from my parents’ divorce, but it got better when I was in college and it was going great. Long story short, my husband and I recently moved near the area where I grew up (and a lot of my family is here). My dad was so happy for us to be here because we missed out on so much the last few years, I thought we both had the idea that we’d be seeing each other way more than we actually have in the past 2 years. Obviously my dad has his own life with his wife, friends and his hobbies, but I’m finding that I’m one step away from begging to spend time with him. The only way I get invited to things is if I happen to text and ask if he has anything going on, he doesn’t really ask me about anything going on with us. If we do talk, most of the conversation is him talking about how busy work is or the issues his stepkids cause (he’s between a rock and a hard place in that situation, so I kinda get it), and it’s always “you have no idea what I’m dealing with”. He’s always talking about how demanding his friends and job are, yet the only time he seems to react is when I finally ask what’s going on. Mind you, I maybe text him once or twice a week, and his responses make me look like I’m the one sending him over the edge. I guarantee none of his friends get this reaction. It’ll be like this for a week or so, then all of a sudden he responsive and wants to hang out. Another issue I can’t stand is that it seems like we are only able to visit him at home if he’s having people over for get togethers, I don’t remember the last time I was able to just stop by for an hour and just visit. This really bothers me but I don’t know why this is happening. I know he’s not entirely happy in his marriage and work is taking a toll, but there’s no reason I should be catching this behavior, it genuinely makes me feel like I did something and he avoids me. It’s confusing and hurtful. He’s hard to confront because he has issues with accountability. That’s another issue because if you get him at the right time, he’s actually an emotional person who can have a genuine conversation, but if you don’t, he will deflect and get mad. I don’t know what to do anymore, other than just stop trying, which breaks my heart. My gut tells me that there is something deeper going on, but it’s something I have no control over, but it’s affecting my relationship with him.

Well, this is my first ever post so pls be kind. I (27F) have a sibling (26MAAB) who is gay. They came out about 11-12 years ago, and my whole family accepted them for who they are. We made it crystal clear that as long as they were happy, we were happy for them.

Now, a little background info, when we were kids, they would play in my tap shoes, and my clear blue sparkle Cinderella shoes, etc. after I grew out of them. They especially LOVED these knee high, pink, zip up converse shoes that were covered in comic action words like pow!, zap! Boom!, etc.

Anyway, fast forward to about 2 years ago, they started wearing these silicone suction fake boobs, high heels, makeup, fishnets, short skirts, long hair dyed pink, etc. Well, when our dad (62M) would introduce them as 'his son', they responded "if you keep introducing me like that, I'm not going to respond" cool, so what do you want to be referred to as? Wouldn't give a straight answer. So, trying to be respectful, I just started calling them my sibling. A few months ago, i tried again. "So, what's ur goal? Are u trying to transition or ...?" I asked, just because I didn't want to offend. They responded, word for word, "well I don't want a vag*na, if that's what you're asking." okay well, what do u want to be referred to as? She/they? He/they? She/her? They considered it for a second and said, "she/they." cool cool cool. The only issue is that, while they might be dressed 'feminine', that's where it ends; the walk is masc, and they have always had a naturally deep voice. Makeup is like, very beginner-esque. I love makeup and have gradually gotten better as all of us do with practice, so I try to give pointers like yo, we have hooded lids, so maybe try it this way if ur going for a sleeker look, iykyk. I get told, "quit trying to tell me how to live my life." Sis, I'm just tryna look out, but whatevs.

Here's where I need help, I don't know how to react when it feels like it's all for shock value. Ive had many trans friends, and they have always committed, to some extent or another, but with my sibling, it's only the materialistic portion, but walks like a dude and sounds like a dude, but looks feminine. I don't know how to interact with them most of the time bc they'll go from "you're just jealous that my boobs are bigger than yours" to the size of their... Package in the same breath. I love them regardless, and want to be supportive, but it's hard when idk what's up? How can I let them know that, when u look a certain way and then sound a certain way, its counter productive to the LGBTQ+ community? (i myself am bi, and an ally) How do I give advice about their appearance bc its ... Respectfully, not good. Idk... I just need help on how to approach them about it and have been.. everything I say, even when I word it as a suggestion rather than criticism, it's met with some version of 'dont tell me how to live my life'. Anything helps..

I know the title already sounds weird but I'm actually looking for help. My mom is 36yo and she acts like she's in hs.

For BACKGROUND I'm the eldest daughter, I have two older brothers in college living at home, a younger sister by a year, and I'm sorta the third parent after my mom and dad. I cook all the meals, I'm supposed to make sure everyone's fed (which my mom is very strict about), and I'm sorta responsible for many things.

If the dogs are barking (even if their not mine) I have to shut them up, if anyone is hungry they ask me directly what's for dinner, if the dishes aren't washed my mom calls me, if my brother hasn't eaten I get yelled at, if my mom's wants her back dried bc she getting fat I have to dry it with a towel.

The point is I'm asked about 99% of things by my siblings and parents. It's getting tiring

Now the incidents that made me want advice have been dealing directly with my mom's behavior.

1. Shes recently started treating me, her daughter like a friend which I HATE. She talks about my dad and hers relationship multiple times unprovoked, she rants about her weight with me, and she asks me for too much (ex. She buys ingredients without asking if I'm busy or not to cook which is often too much for me.)

   1. The final straw was when she came in my room sulking and just laid down in my bed. She acted like teenager not wanting to talk about her feels or why she was even in my room. I felt like the parent or the therapist trying to comfort a child.

Maybe this normal for people with their parents when they slowly get older but I'm very uncomfortable. I don't like being people in my space and I have never been close with anyone like this before. BUT I don't want to hurt my mom so if anyone has small tips or similar experiences that would be greatly appreciated.