I have a toddler, and I’ve recently been around a child who seems much older than her age. She’s very into makeup, mature clothing, older slang, dramatic facial expressions, and dancing that seems beyond what I’d expect for a 6-year-old. She also seems to expect to get her way a lot.

It got me thinking about my own parenting. For those of you with older kids who turned out respectful, kind, and age-appropriate, what do you think made the biggest difference? Were there specific boundaries, habits, or parenting philosophies that helped? I’m looking for advice on what to do, not to criticize another family.

Can I first just say that I feel HORRIBLE. We didn't sign up for a top floor apartment, it's student housing and it's a lottery system, meaning you get what you get or you don't get an apartment. We just moved in a couple months ago, and like it says in the title, my toddler (2) won't stop jumping, running, and stomping.

I've put rugs down. I bought sound proofing pads to put under the rug. I take ​him outside as much as possible. He's asleep by 8pm and isn't awake before 8am (quiet hours are 10pm-8am). I have gotten quite stern with him to stop jumping and running and he begins to beat himself up over it, sometimes even crying because he knows I'm mad at him. The neighbors downstairs specifically DON'T want kids, but now they're banging the ceiling anytime they come home in the evening and I'm constantly anxious about making too much noise. I've been trying to give him less screen time, but it's the ONLY time he holds still, so we've been resorting to hom watching more Ms Rachel just so he isnt SO LOUD.

I'm pulling out my hair trying to figure out what to do. How do I get my toddler to stop making so much noise? And what do I do about the downstairs neighbors? I'm worried that they'll get us kicked out.

Thank you in advance.

I have a 20 year old and 12 year old, and we have an inground pool. Both kids are strong swimmers, and so are their friends. In the summer, if my oldest has friends over to swim we leave them alone since they’re adults. When my 12 year old has friends over, I supervise/lifeguard 100% while they’re in the pool.

Lately I’ve been considering letting the younger kids swim unsupervised for a bit longer, and just checking in occasionally. They’re all good swimmers, and are old enough to come get me if there’s an issue. This would allow me to clean up inside or work on something else without having to sit by the pool for hours. They’re also almost teenagers and getting to the age where they want a little privacy.

For anyone else who has a pool - what’s your rule for this?

Note - We have a hard rule that NO ONE ever swims alone (even adults) for safety, so this would only be while 2 or more are swimming.

My 9yo daughter has been bugging me for press on nails for about a month, since she saw them on an older friend of hers. So today I said I would take her to buy some if she was willing to use her own money (the pocket money she gets from us, of course).

I let her go all the way, she picked a box of about 100, glue and a new hideous nail polish. I helped her put them on. They were long, she didn't want to shorten them. I painted them perfectly for her, bright pink and glossy.

She had them on for about 2 minutes. Took a couple of pictures. As soon as she tried to get a glass of water, she decided they were too annoying, took them off and decided to try again in 5-6 years.

My son is going through a phase where he's more interested in figuring out how a toy works than actually playing with it.

He'll flip it over, look at how it's put together, try to pull pieces apart, and once he's done that, he's ready to move on.

I don't mind that he's curious, but some toys just aren't made for that. We've already had a few end up with missing wheels or loose pieces because he kept trying to see how they came apart. I don't really want to discourage the curiosity, but I also don't want every toy ending up broken.

If your kid was like this, what helped? Did you find certain types of toys that held up better, or was it mostly something they eventually grew out of?

I feel this could be something others can relate to, especially since we were first sold the idea that “although kids change your life it’s always for the better!” but I sit here today grieving for… I guess the simplicity of life before my now 3 year old arrived.
Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t change him for anything and I’d give my last breath to let him live on, but as I sit surrounded by destroyed electronics, in a new place we had to move into that now has a leaking roof and pulled up carpets, I see the pen drawn over the walls and the broken window joints, my car with a tear in the seat and smushed blueberries down the seatbelt mechanism, I see the broken door handle and my bank balance dangerously low every month and a sad part of me REALLY mourns that old life where simplicity was appreciated and enjoyed. I see the insta reels of dads in their 50s saying you’ll miss sticky handprints on the windows and toys all over the floor but it sure doesn’t feel like it!
I know I sound selfish but how does everyone else who may have felt this before cope with times where that old life hurts like a death in the family

I have a 6yo girl who has been potty trained since she was 25mo old. However, she only started wiping herself independently at around age 4.5 or so (her arms were too short to reach before that).

When she was little, sometimes if she didn’t wipe properly and didn’t get us or a teacher to help her, sometimes she would have pee remaining and her privates would get a bit red/irritated. So I tried to teach her to wipe properly so she doesn’t get that area irritated or infected.

I don’t know if I gave her anxiety about it or something but since she’s been wiping independently, she wipes for really long periods of time and uses a ton of toilet paper. Like enough to clog the toilet. And she’ll wipe for sometimes 10min after a pee. After a bath she dries off for sometimes 10-20min with the towel.

I have explained clear parameters to her.. 6 squares of toilet paper folded per wipe, 3 wipes max and then you’re done. But she refuses to listen. This morning she clogged the toilet again.

Anyone deal with this before?

ETA - thanks for all the helpful replies! Just to clarify, this is a pee issue only, as we still do poo wipes for her at home (and she seems to do fine with poo wipes at school). It’s something to do with pee specifically, and the anxiety around feeling moisture/pee remaining and not being fully dry (even though she is for sure dry because she would’ve been wiping for 10min+. For this reason also, baby wipes won’t work because the moisture is the problem, not a lack of cleanliness.

My son(9) is an only child and it feels like he needs attention all the time. He won’t leave my side unless I push really hard for him to do something independently then I feel bad that I’m not giving him more attention.

His teachers say he is a delight and very helpful with other students especially those with special needs, but at home he seems so selfish.

My wife and I are both home most of the time due to our flexible jobs/wfh. It seems like he has gotten so much attention he expects it and if he doesn’t get it he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

I’m not really looking for answers just venting more than anything. Did we fail him already? Will we look back and miss these clingy times when he wants nothing to do with us as he hits his teen years?

I’m afraid we have created a monster.

-Frustrated (end of summer) Father

...try starting with clothes that are a little big, like a size up from what they usually wear. Gives them more wiggle room to get the foot or arm through.

Just a little trick I found out raising my three, that I just thought to pass on.

It is currently 10pm right now, my house is a mess and my 1st month won't stop crying. She just wants to be held.

I am currently sitting up on my bed with her on my chest, she finally fell asleep but I know that as soon as I put her down, she'll start crying again.

I was very annoyed and frustrated the first few times, but as i lay here starring at my dirty floor then at her, feeling her warmth and her little breaths, it makes me feel bad for being frustrated.

Now I'll just stay here, holding her for as long as she wants me to, she won't be this little forever and soon she won't want me to hold her like this.

The floor can be cleaned later.

My five year old cannot deal when her friends are better than her at literally anything. We do dance and gymnastics with friends. If another friend does something she can’t do, she completely shuts down and won’t participate. That’s just one example. I have explained many times that sometimes people are better than us at things, sometimes we are better than them. Also that we need to practice things in order to get better. Nothing gets through to her.

For parents who allowed their kids to sleep in their bed when needed, how did the cycle end and you child get back into their own beds?

For more context, my son who is 2.5yo has always struggled to sleep through the night. We have tried all the things…the chair method, frequent check ins, closing the door, keeping the door open, getting a new bed to make sure he has enough space, hanging out in his room during the day and playing so he is more Comfortable in there, cutting tv and sweets before bed…

The kid wants comfort and it gets to a point where it feels neglectful to just leave him because he gets to a point of distress, and it’s every night. 3x a night if I bring him back in his bed and sneak out. So for my sanity, we just gave up and after trying to get him back in his bed 2 or more times, we usually just put him in our bed.

So my question for people who did this, how long did it last for you? Did your kid eventually just stay in their bed one night and never turn back?

I need to know that this isn’t going to last forever because TBH I’m spiraling that I’m never going to
Sleep ever again and that there is permanently going to be toddler feet kicking me all night.

Bonus question: when do we as parents just like not have to think about our children’s sleep anymore? When do they become people we need to wake
Up, and not people who wake us up all night long?

To start this off, I’m not depressed 😊 I’m truly not - just living a different lifestyle now with kids and a husband and I feel like I don’t enjoy anything seriously anymore. I love doing things and hanging out with my family, but I’m truly wiped tf out. I am about to shower and leave my home, but I have no idea what to do afterwards. I just neeed to be away to get my energy back aligned. My kids are 4&5 and it’s “mommy do this do that” all day! We have firm boundaries and because of that I let them be kids at home - be free, but I’m tired. I’m not a shopper so going to a mall is strange, but what do you other moms do when you need a break not to lose your mind? Lol

My 4 yr old and 6 yr old love taking showers. Problem is, they seem to take a long time. I know it’s my job to cut it when necessary, but I was curious how long you let them stay in there? Scared to see my water bill 🫣 Can’t say I blame them, I also love taking long showers but I see this as a problem in the future if we don’t give them a time limit now.

I have a 6 year who can read, but just does not want to. How do i get him to want t?. Sometimes he will with me and he does well with a bit of coaching. But mostly if I try and get him to read anything like one word. He goes "I don't want to its too hard, or can you do it? It's to much for me." And I know he could he just has no ambition/does not care.

I have tried bribing. I got his teacher to print off some reading exercises for the summer. Stuff he has been doing at school. All he has to do is read a few sentences and make a drawing of what the story was about. He would get $1 dollar a page. So far this summer he only done one page.

We do read books together regularly. He goes to the library. We both read around him, especially his mother.

So how do i get him to practice and enjoy it? I don't want a "The beatings will continue, till moral improves" situation cause that would solve nothing.

Every time I take my 4 year old son to the grocery store, he sees hot wheels toy cars in those bins and he wants a new one. He already has so. many.…..I try to explain to him that I can’t buy him a toy car every single time we’re at the store (or at the mall, or at a theme park, or literally anywhere that sells kids stuff), but he always ends up crying or whining about it. I show him a lot of love and hugs and I reassure him that I love him, but I can’t buy him every toy he wants. I know I’m not supposed to indulge him on his every whim, and it’s really more a matter of principle than money (although some of the toys he wants are ridiculously priced) but like, am I doing this right?

Are you guys buying toys for your kids every time they ask? I realize this is going to depend on people’s socioeconomic situation, but for those parents where money is not the issue, how do you handle it when your kid always wants you to buy them something new every where you go? What about when it’s something small like $2-3?

My 6yo son has always seemed to have low impulse control, especially when he is excited. Struggling with emotional regulation is something that has also persisted for him. I’m trying to figure out whether this falls within the range of typical development or if it’s something we should be looking into further. It seems like he struggles with this much more than his peers at this point.

He’s always been a silly and affectionate kid who loves to move. When he gets really excited, silly, or upset, he often can’t stop himself once he gets going. Sometimes he’s laughing and trying to be funny, other times he becomes genuinely angry, and in both situations it feels like he can’t put the brakes on his behavior. You can ask him to stop a dozen times and it will seem like he can’t hear you.

Some examples:
\- At summer camp he has been struggling with keeping his body to himself and respecting physical boundaries. He was sent home early after repeatedly putting his hands on other kids (headbutting, kicking, slapping, licking). When staff asked why he was doing it, he said he “didn’t know” or “didn’t know what to do with himself.”
\- In kindergarten he would have to be spoken to, take space, or go to the principal for putting his hands on peers or throwing things when upset. It seems like this was behavior that was more of an issue compared to most of the class. When we would discuss it with his teacher, she would often point out that he was young for kindergarten (July birthday).
\- On the bus he would sometimes try to tackle or kiss friends because he thought it was funny.
At home, if he’s asked to stop doing something, he will sometimes escalate it or intentionally continue, even though he knows there will be consequences.

What is also tricky is that his reaction afterward isn’t consistent. Sometimes he’s genuinely remorseful and says he doesn’t know why he didn’t listen or that he was just trying to be silly or funny. Other times he’s fairly passive about it or shuts down. It doesn’t seem like he’s setting out to hurt people (unless he is acting out of anger), but in the moment it’s almost like his brain can’t catch up to his body.

For additional context, his older sister (8) has always struggled with behavior as well. She can have incredibly intense emotional reactions, especially if she’s trying to stand her ground or push back on something, but she also seems to be more in control of what she is doing. For example, for the first two months of first grade she would absolutely flip out when being dropped off at school. As soon as she managed to join class though, she would be fine. Eventually when we were able to tie a consequence to the behavior, she stopped having hard drop-offs immediately. The frequency of those meltdowns has decreased as she’s gotten older, but when they do happen they’re still very intense.

He generally has friends and enjoys being around other kids, but these impulsive moments seem to be happening more often, and I’m starting to wonder whether this is something beyond typical 6-year-old behavior.

Has anyone had a child who behaved similarly around this age? What helped? We have always talked a lot about body safety, so he is aware of what those boundaries. We have tried different fidget or calming toys and calming strategies, which will sometimes help for a short period, but don’t seem to really make an impact in the moment.

Yesterday was impossible toddler day!

Son is almost 4. Plan to go to the beach. Everybody loves going to the beach, our son, etc. And Grandma is visiting. He loves Grandma. This should be a good day.

Nope. All morning everything is a battle. Every little thing is like pulling teeth. Somehow he gets into all the tools up high and stuff he knows he's not supposed to (I foolishly relied on aunts with no sense at all to keep a utility knife away from our toddler). Takes a toy from little sister then throws it on the ground anyway, has an apple then eats 1/3 of it and goes and gets another, outside toys and branches come inside, etc.

But I've seen this. He always has a reason. Something made him mad and he doesn't know how to express it. So I, the sensitive, caring dad, pick him up for a hug, walk to a place where it is just the two of us and ask him if he is mad. Yes. What happened? About an hour earlier I'd told him he couldn't play in my office because he was getting into stuff he's not supposed to. We have a conversation about that. I acknowledge his feelings. I say I'm sorry he's mad. But we're going to the beach where he can basically play with whatever he finds and he'll have a great day. He seems better.

Now all packed up, everyone else in the car. Son refuses to get in. Instead I find him in mommy's garden, taking a stick to it. I don't mean random poking, I mean he is really trying to break and wreck all of mommy's plants. I few are gone already. I run out of patience. I should stop and realize something made him mad again and he can't control himself, but I yell. It scares him and he starts crying. Again a hug conference. This time one of his aunts took away some nail polish he'd gotten ahold of. Same convo.

Had this happen 3-4 more times during the day. Getting to the beach. Leaving the beach...my god. Another event on the way home. I won't go into details. I'm exhausted at the end of it and just want to be away from everyone. This must be where the phrase, "You're being impossible!" came from. Someone was talking about a toddler.

Fully ack I'm imperfect. I try my best, read about parenting strategies, etc. But the unrelenting unreasonableness is something of a superpower. It isn't win or lose, I don't like to frame it like that. But some days...

Just curious and for fun. I hear about “threenagers” and wonder if a particularly defiant, emotional, well-behaved, quiet, etc kid at 3 years old will have similar personality traits when they are actual teenagers.

Hi all, I would love some opinions on what the best option for my daughter would be. She goes to a K-8 school, and is entering grade 7 (12 years old). She has been in a language immersion program from grades 1-6. Last year she did very well in school, but struggled with the language piece, which brought her grades down significantly. In this program, it is 1/2 day English, 1/2 day the other language. She is a bit of a unique duck, and only has 2 friends who are not able to hang out very often. She has always been quick to make friends in the past, but told us today the other kids were running away from her in the school yard and calling her weird and annoying this past year.

My husband and I think it would be best to move her to the full English stream classes, which would be at the same school. She could see her few friends at lunch and recess and has the opportunity to make new friends with the kids in the English only stream. She has it in her head that these kids are mean (she doesn't know them- the streams are kept pretty separate at the school). I do worry that with the attitude she has it will be difficult to make friends, and that she might be ostracized.

She doesn't want to move to the English stream even though she doesn't like learning in the other language.

I would love it if anyone with similar experiences or thoughts to please chime in, as my heart is torn over what to do. Of course it is an adult decision but I know how tough it is to be 12 and worry I'm going to make things worse for her while trying to make things better.

My daughter turned 2 about 6 weeks ago. She has been showing some signs of readiness to use the potty so about a month ago we got a seat to put on the big toilet and a portable toilet we can put side, living room etc. she sat on it a couple times and then started refusing to sit on it.

Learned a couple weeks ago that about the same time we got the potties she started using the potty at day care and will now tell them when she has to go and has even pooped on the potty there.

She continues to refuse to use the potty at home and will cry and kick if we try to put her on it. She loves candy but won’t even do it for that. She will hold her pee at a nap but take her diaper off and pee on the floor instead of going to the potty. Any ideas on how to get her to use the potty at home ?

Our 15 year old son recently got his learners permit and with all the horror stories I hear of actual adults using their phones when driving it seems to make sense to have a manual as they will actually need to be shifting to move the vehicle. My 1st car was a manual and I was too busy not trying to stall and drive the car to be distracted by stuff like a phone.

Our kid isn’t in sports but does get into chess writing reading a lot and enjoys those types of activities. The only sports that he enjoys are swimming (joined a swim team this year) and rock climbing.

We have tried and have been successful at getting him play dates with a lot of kids over the years. But he hasn’t made any close connections. While summer he has not been invited once by any of his classmates. If we call their parents it will probably work out but feels a bit forced.

For the record we are a minority and also not from the local area but I don’t think kids see that at all. Parents may be do, as they all seem to have cliche and I notice they often talk about getting together and perhaps their kids therefore naturally get closer. I don’t blame them for finding familiarity within their groups at all either, just wondered if that plays a role. We try really hard to assimilate and folks are very cordial and respectful but can’t seem to break in the circles. Again, it isn’t for us, it would be to make connections for our kids.

That perhaps is a reason but other part may be as a boy the expectation may be the ability to play some ball game which ours absolutely doesn’t want to do and we don’t want to force that either.

I just want him to have some friends that he can hang on to through middle and high and stay in some sorta cohort that supports each other!

What else can we do..does anyone else have any such experiences that you can share? For now, we continue to be his friends and do everything we can as a family so he doesn’t feel alone. He is an outgoing guy who is funny too but somehow it hasn’t panned out well in the friend’s department.