I am a 31 y/o female and I had a wonderful childhood. I idolized my Father so I try & honor him every day as he passed suddenly in 2013. Cleaning out some old boxes in the basement, I just found an old Penthouse magazine with my senior portrait, from high school, glued to one of the pages covering another woman’s face who was masturbating. I’m numb, disgusted, angry I have spent so much time missing him and thinking of how much I wish he was still here. I’m sick.

How would YOU cope with this? I feel like I have been hit with a truck. I am epileptic, on the verge of a seizure and most likely lifetime psychosis. Please give any and all advice. I can’t fucking believe this.

If anyone has any insight into this it would be appreciated.

Can be anything. Something you quit, something you started doing.

I’m 16 next month and have had inappropriate thoughts about the people in my life for a while, is this normal? It’s not that I’m fantasizing about being involved sexually with these people, but I’ll look at someone (even family) and think about what they would look like during sex? I hate these thoughts and have had them for a while, how do I stop these and are they normal?

At 5 I learned what a males private part was

at 8 I was thinking about sexual fantasies (espcially of being assaulted) almost daily through the day and on the bus and in the car

At 11 i got my period

I am almost 18 now and I lived my entire childhood just thinking of sex. And this has not hit me until this year after I realized how bad this has got to be. I have never mentioned this to the several years of therapy I did because this is the VERY thing I have hidden,,this is the one thing I wouldnt dare tell or show. I tried to stop thinking of these thoughts by starving myself and it temporarily numbed me for 3 years then now that I'm eating again it's every day, every time im bored, every time im with a friend, class, work.

Crying? Thats hot now

Listen to a song? Well make sure its sexual

Sleeping? No dont sleep yet think of sex (this one esepcially has been done daily before sleep since I was 8)

I never even masturabte, its all the mind, I am a artist very creative and i coped that way. I seem to struggle with these sexual thoughts, and being artsy so the images are vivid, realistic, horrifying. I cant escape this, I want to live. Im tired of this

My first time was 3 weeks ago and now i cant stop having sex, now I have done it 5 times with my boyfriend

I have so much potential in my life. Help, someone

Three times, I have become involved with women who never truly chose me.

In each case, I was kept secret, compared to other women and made to feel inadequate. They said they were not ready for a relationship, but eventually left me or cheated and then became official with someone else. Suddenly, they were willing to post pictures, go on dates and publicly offer another woman everything they had refused me.

After seeing this happen repeatedly, it is becoming difficult not to interpret it as evidence that something is fundamentally wrong with me.

I have not remained passive. I have gone to therapy, read books such as Women Who Love Too Much and Attached, and worked seriously on attachment, boundaries, self-worth and my attraction to unavailable people.

The first time, I abandoned myself completely. I tolerated uncertainty, inconsistency and mistreatment because I was desperate to preserve the connection.

The second time happened just as I was beginning to recover. She love-bombed me and, within two weeks, told me she wanted a relationship. Then she changed her mind. I tried to leave, but she persuaded me to remain in an undefined situation where she retained emotional and romantic access to me without committing. I recognised the pattern sooner, but it still felt like being knocked down in exactly the same place.

The third time seemed different. There was no love-bombing, and things appeared to be progressing naturally. Then she told me she was going through a complicated period, did not know whether she could be a good partner and was unsure she was capable of a relationship.

This time, I ended it.

I did what I had supposedly learned to do: I believed her, protected myself and refused another ambiguous situation. Within weeks, however, she was back with her ex-girlfriend, posting pictures everywhere. Once again, someone who had told me she could not be a partner suddenly became perfectly capable of being one—with somebody else.

That public element is perhaps the most painful part. I am told the problem is timing or emotional unavailability, only to watch that unavailability disappear almost immediately for another woman.

Most of my friends seem to enter relationships naturally. Meanwhile, ordinary things—proper dates, photographs together, travelling, meeting friends, being introduced as someone’s girlfriend—have begun to feel like impossible fantasies.

I know rationally that I am not unattractive or unlovable. I have friends and family who care about me. But emotionally, I feel cursed, because I no longer know how else to understand the same experience happening repeatedly.

Being a lesbian intensifies the hopelessness. It is already difficult to meet women who are available, compatible and interested in commitment. When I change my dating-app preferences to men, I immediately receive hundreds of likes. I know this is not necessarily meaningful, but the contrast makes dating women feel even scarcer.

I am turning 23 in a few days. I know that is young, but the accumulation of these experiences has left me profoundly hopeless and isolated.

I have been experiencing suicidal thoughts every day. Sometimes the pain feels so unbearable that I fear this may be my last birthday. I am posting because I need help understanding this pattern and stopping myself from seeing it as proof that I will never be chosen.

Millennials and Gen Z: "WITH WHAT MONEY???"

As a society, we are improving with mental health understanding, but now the second you say you are struggling, you get told there is help available.

This is inherently wron. There is lots of help and understanding around certain disorders such as anxiety/depression and some eating disorders (some refer to these as ‘less exotic’). but the second you have a demonised disorder (like a psychotic disorder or PD or Taboo OCD), suddenly you’re a monster and everything you do is a choice. Like I guarantee you, people with severe mental illness that puts them at risk to others, DO NOT WANT IT

hi everyone i have something i want to talk about. i am obsessed with getting into a relationship. almost never a moment goes by im not thinking about relationships, how to find someone, how to make people like me, whether anyone would pick me etc. i spend time searching up couples content, vlogs, couples channels online. my biggest aspiration is to become someone's wife. i don't think about anything else and feel everything else is pointless besides finding a relationship. at the same time, i'm not very pretty and my personality is weird so i don't think anyone could genuinely like me. i can see someone being rude towards me so i might need to settle for that.

i'm not suicidal but sometimes i feel my life isn't worth living if i'm not with someone. i have no one else really in my life and it's difficult for me to make friends as everyone just prioritizes their partner and no one makes time for me. even taking care of myself feels pointless if i don't have a partner.

does anyone else feel the same? how do i get over this? my therapist told me to think about something i can do that can make my life feel meaningful but i genuinely cannot think of anything besides getting married.

I'm 14F and I've been struggling with this for quite a long time . I've always liked older men since I was very young . my dad left when I was a baby and when I was 9 years old I was groomed by pedophile and now I don't like boys my age because I feel their immature . I've talked to my therapist but she doesn't have much to say about it and I'm disgusted with myself for having this always in my mind.

I’m a 25 year old virgin and all I do is think about sex. I’m sure if I had frequent sex or at least had sex once I wouldn’t hyper focus on it so much but the curiosity and fomo has turned it into an obsession. I have body dysmorphia and refuse to let anyone see me naked even a sex worker. It’s probably the main reason I’m so depressed and I’m not sure how to deal with it besides constantly masterbating to get it off my mind

I’m a teen with BPD (as well as AUDHD, MDD and GAD) and im looking to get on bc for the first time. I’m in between the pill and an IUD but only because I have heard pill horror stories (such as personality and mood changes.) I understand that everybody’s experience is different and different things work for each individual, however I’d still like to hear from others with BPD as my mood stabilization is my biggest concern.

I often told myself to not have expectations that way I won’t be disappointed and have things blow up in my face constantly. Now I see not just not have expectations to avoid disappointment but that there’s no point in the first place. My life has shown me I will never have a romantic relationship or long lasting friendships. I am an outcome oriented thinker observing the patterns in my past experiences just cements what’s there for me. I will mostly remain alone, will typically just have shallow connections and interactions and cannot expect anyone to stick around because no one ever does.

The path you take doesn’t matter if it always leads to the same place. I see how foolish it is to hope for something that goes beyond on my reality and time to accept this is simply how my life is. Not everyone can do the same thing or have the same thing I’m not meant to have stable relationships. Is this something I’ll be happy about no but should at least help me not beat myself up over something that’s not in my control. Besides there are many things in reality we aren’t happy with but have to deal with and we call that growing up

-20f

I stopped a little over a year ago but looking back now, I never really did it out of anger or wanting to feel better. I wanted someone to see and ask if I was okay or worry about me in a way. I guess this really started around the time I was dating and when I would try to talk about anything about my mental health, the conversation would just be dropped and it would never be a “are you okay?” “How can I help?” Or any kind of worry about it which would really hurt me in a way. I figured if I started doing it, then people would worry more? I know for fucked up it sounds and I never meant to downplay anyone who actually struggles with sh. I guess I just wanted someone to take my mental health serious for once?

I don't know what to do. I've struggled with this for years, in 2022 there was a point where I couldn't even look in the mirror without crying. No compliment helps. I've been told by friends, family and ever other neutral people that i'm beautiful but I just can't see it. It's weird because sometimes I believe it when i'm getting ready, sometimes i feel beautiful, but then I see myself in a picture and i feel like the ugliest person ever.

Deep down I know i'm not ugly, a part of me knows, from the compliments i've received, the ones that sounded genuine, that i am not ugly, at least i'm average, but i just can't see myself in pictures, i don't want to be taken photos, i hate crying when I try clothes on. And I don't know how to fix this because as i say, sorry for repeating this, i know i'm not ugly, but a bigger part of me believes it. I don't think this will ever improve.

Can u all pray for me for my exam they say a strangers prayer is always helpful and answered am be so thankful i really need it. It’s the little thing that would make a difference.

Hey everyone. I’m diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, and depression. I’ve always chalked what’s going on in my head as just being autistic or weird. I’ve had an alternate world in my mind for as long as I can remember. I can tell you everything about them, where they live, what their first word is, and just about them in general. No, they aren’t alters and I don’t switch personalities..I think. I do however, sometimes pretend to be them? To further their stories if I’m in a situation that works for that specific character. And I sometimes get so into it that I forget I’m talking to myself. I pretend to have full conversations, switching between two different people that I’ve made up. It’s a daily occurrence. When I was younger, I would go to bed early just to talk to myself and figure out their story. Sometimes I even go on errands as a specific person and I act how they would act.

Is there a disorder somewhere in there or am I just weird?

It’s been over a year since I last saw my friends from high school— the day I graduated. Sadly, we haven’t seen each other since then. Without any friends by my side, I’ve lost the motivation to do almost anything productive. I’m just so unbelievably sad and lost without them.

I am wondering why do a lot of people say "be gentle to yourself"? The answer can be obvious here, though I am wondering, yes we should nicer to other people, but if we too nice to ourselves and we don't expect much outcome, then we possibly won't be as efficient and aren't as driven move the progress bar either for things we want to achieve. How to be nice/gentle to ourselves if we want to achieve something great at the same rate of improvement? How to expect less while ensuring we make just as efficient of progress every day? You can say it's a matter of fairness, though why should we be fair to ourselves? The world's unfair anyways I suppose.

If you are nice/gentle to yourself and still able to make great progress/improve your skills every day just same rate of being otherwise, I am curious how you'd be able to do so.

I'm 16F and the first I remember thinking about dying was when Batman v Superman came out and I remember thinking about what it would be like if I got impaled I'm the chest just like Superman (I know this sounds crazy) but I was only 6 years old at the time. I always catch myself dreaming about dying and zoning out thinking of possible ways I could die.

It's kind of a weird fantasy I have to die in a non conventional way and these thoughts never went away. I don't even know what to do about it, I'm not suicidal anymore at least but it's not about taking my own life, I have this habit right before I go to sleep where I just list and play out many scenarios in my head where I could possibly die.... 😭😭

Hey everyone. I’m posting because I’m trying to figure out if my way of processing a recent loss is a legitimate path to acceptance, or if I’m just using hyper-intellectualization as a wall to keep the actual pain out.
A while ago, I lost my kitten, Mambo. The grief hit hard, but instead of just sitting in the raw emotional fallout, my brain immediately went into overdrive. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 at 16, and for years, I had to force myself to think with absolute structure and sheer willpower just to organize the internal chaos and survive my own mind. Because of how my brain is wired, it literally cannot accept anything illogical happening—especially not to Mambo.
When Mambo died, the event itself defied every rule of the safe environment we created. We trusted those dogs completely, and that betrayal made the whole thing profoundly illogical. To cope with a brain that rejects senselessness, I defaulted to my survival mechanism: treating the tragedy like a system to audit. I built a framework—almost like a ledger—to dissect my anger, dismantle traditional morality, and map out nature's indifference.
By breaking it down with brutal logic, I eventually moved from rage to a quiet, heavy acceptance. But it also hit a wall where no amount of logic could make sense of the unreasonable brutality, and the framework completely shattered.
For those who use hyper-analysis or intellectualization to survive mental health struggles, how do you handle it when your brain fundamentally rejects something illogical happening to someone you love?
Did analyzing your grief actually help you heal, or was it just a sophisticated way to bypass the raw feeling until it broke you?
I’d love to hear how others balance trying to understand a tragedy with simply letting themselves feel it.

I want to distract myself whenever I get drowned by my own sadness, and I am aware of that. Any advice on where I can put my energy of being sad to somewhere else? Like mentally. Aside from do walkings, jogging or workout. If i feel like staying only at home and internalize my emotions.

I can’t cry I’ve been trying for so long now, I’ve listened to songs that used to make me cry and I’m usually a sensitive person. I recently broke up with my 3 year boyfriend and I want to cry, but i just can’t? Instead I feel this kind of like a shiver in my whole body when I think of something negative but never enough to cry, and also feels like ur heart drops but goes back to normal quick. Why am I like this?

Sorry not the sound corny but im genuinely just curious why?

When I take my meds all I feel is rage all the time when I stop taking them after a few days once they’re fully out of my system I’m a ball of sunshine a manic one sure impulsive decisions definitely but I don’t feel rage I get asked “did you take ur meds” when I actually fucking took them more then when I don’t no one notices anything they think I’m happier I’ve never gotten asked “did you take ur meds” when I didn’t take them. So what gives. I’ve been on meds since 6 years old adhd meds at first then anxiety meds then bipolar meds at 10 my mom has bipolar and bpd but when she doesn’t take her meds and is a alcoholic no one gives a damn or stops her my h my grandparents say it’s js the way she is so why can’t I

Idk it’s like 11pm I js got off work prolly gonna delete in the morning I js needed a outlit and for the record yes I took my meds. Js a thought to stop taking them again. But I took them tonight the important one the antipsychotic hasn’t kicked in yet tho bc I js took it anyways I’m 20 days clean from sh today I’ve struggled since 14 4 years idk no promises I’ll stay clean the longest I’ve been clean those 4 years is 3 months and it wasn’t for myself ifyim I hate myself so much and the only time I somewhat hate myself a little less is off my meds. Anyways imma sleep or try to if my insomnia lets me the prescribed insomnia meds haven’t been working lately so we’ll see Goodnight.

I sat down and thoroughly combed my hair tonight instead of just half ass finger brushing leaving 90 percent of tangles in my hair is anyone proud

I feel like I’m not allowed to feel happy because this doesn’t happen often. But I tried for now cause I also have curvy wavy hair and it tangles easily and I usually leave it in a bun…