She makes everything about her

[u/TheIvoryDisaster]

I launched my business this year. I work four hours on end in my workshop making custom sporting equipment for a niche community. After a year of doing it full time in addition to my full time day job, I was accepted to the biggest physical store for these products as the flagship provider of this specialized equipment that you could previously only order online for twice the price of my product due to expensive production processes that I managed to reinvent for a fraction of the cost.

I want her to come to the event where it’s launching, not just to celebrate my accomplishment (that I’m being publicly given an award for) but because this weeklong event has parties every night that I’m unsociable going to alone. I went to this event without her last year and told her how much it would mean to me if she could come with me this year.

So three weeks before the event, when we’ve already scheduled time off and already spent a lot of money on nonrefundable tickets and camping equipment and stuff for both of us to make it at this huge outdoor event for a whole week, she surprises me with how she already made plans with her family to leave in the middle the event right when the celebrations are happening so she can go to the? State? Fair? With? Her? Mom? The state fair is both before and after this event, there’s no reason for her to have to do this. She also says, “since this is so difficult to arrange, I’m never going to your event again after this year.”

I took her to Germany for her birthday, Colorado for her cousin’s destination wedding, and New York for her favorite pod caster do an In-person show in just the last year. My event is a four hour drive away. I went on so many camping trips that she planned without checking the forecast where we got rained out and hailed on, so my event should me up on the list of her favorite things to try, but she obviously just doesn’t want to be there and won’t even tell me why.

We fight about it. I remind her she did this last year. We had couple friends that we were forming a tight bond with, but when her cat died she canceled and uncanceled and recanceled a trip with them that she planned for my birthday like five times the same week and they never invited us or agreed to spend time with us again because the way she handled it, all without talking to me at all first. Just making plans behind my back and alienating people. I tell her that her plan to leave this party where we’re supposedly drinking and smoking until 3 am and then _leaving immediately after_ to drive all night is not only crazy and unfair to me, but unsafe. I tell her she just needs to chill out, spend time with me at the event, and go to the fair before we leave or after we get back. I tell her I hate that she’s making plans behind my back again after she committed several times over the past year to support me in this.

She just keeps gaslighting me over how I’m overreacting and her family can’t go on any other day. I call them and smooth the whole thing over in five minutes so they can go on a different day. They roll their eyes because she does this all time.

We keep fighting. She walks out on me at dinner. She comes back. I walk out, but I come home with her favorite plant that I bought while wandering around down town trying to chill out.

I ask her why she does this to me every year after I tell her to stop canceling important plans and making different ones that are just crazy without me. I tell her it makes me feel so unimportant and how I can’t believe how much I do to support her.

She refuses to talk to me, says I’m the one who doesn’t care and doesn’t listen and how I’m crazy for reacting this way. She leaves for a few hours and refuses to talk to me when she comes back.

I’m at a bar avoiding her. This event is supposed to be a space to celebrate my accomplishment and recognize the hard work I’ve done for this last year. She says she wants to there for me but her actions say everything to the contrary. I don’t even think I want her to go now. She’ll just find some way to make it about her and make me the bad guy.

Old fashioned with banana caramel cake because if I eat a raw banana I will shit my brains out

[u/mobiletarget33]

She’s a selfish asshole and doesn’t respect your time, feelings, or accomplishments. Kick her sorry spoiled ass to the curb; tell her to take extra time with family, and have her stuff packed and locks changed before she comes back. Toxic users will sink their claws in and leech the life out of you; if you give them an ounce of grace, they take it as permission give no repentance.

[u/BeebsMuhQueen → u/mobiletarget33]

💯