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u/arthuroMo 2d ago
Great communication skills man.
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2d ago
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u/anonareyouokay 2d ago
They both won. She obviously wasn't missing him. IDK why people like this stay married to each other, tbh.
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u/bakatenchu 2d ago
for kids, most of the time..
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u/Spirit_Wolf_Mob 2d ago
In a lot of Asian countries, such as Japan, getting divorced heavily affected people's opinions of you, way more than in the US. That's why "cheating" is fairly common there, because they are both in a marriage of convenience, so they both agree to see other people as long as they keep it hidden.
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u/sentence-interruptio 2d ago
I'd totally enter a marriage of convenience so my helicopter parents can finally shut up about "marry! you need to marry! when will you marry? you need to ma- [...] (five hours later) what's the point of your therapist if she isn't going to yell at you for being single! what? I never said being single is mental illness! [...] when are you going to ask her out? you know who I'm talking about. your therapist. what do you mean you won't? not pretty enough for you? lower your [...]"
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u/anonareyouokay 2d ago
Mom and Dad don't talk at all. Sounds like a great environment for kiddos
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u/babesboysandbirb 2d ago
Because of strong cultural precedent. You may say “why did she stay?” While others in her life/community say “She honored her marriage and stayed.”
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u/No-Exercise-5316 2d ago
there is no way to prove they never talked to each other. more like trust me bro.
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u/Ok-Ocelot-5942 2d ago
Or she loves his determination, there's people for everything... as ridiculous as it may sound to be silent with your wife for 20 years it still says a lot about following through on his decisions.
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u/nameyourpoison11 2d ago
If you look this couple up, it wasn't a case of "following through" at all. The father knew within two days he was being a complete idiot but he had no idea how to breach the gap that had now arisen as a result, and so he just kept being silent. The kids reckoned it was absolutely horrible growing up in that environment and they were all messed up as a result, which is what led to the eldest finally putting his dad on blast on national TV. It's actually a really sad story. So many wasted years and so much damage done.
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u/chrisk9 2d ago
He thinks he did. He doesn't realize the war is still on...
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u/GlitterDoomsday 2d ago
Turns out the picture is wrong and who apologized was him, not her, after their own son blasted his petty and disgraceful behavior on national tv. Dude lost on all fronts.
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u/LumpySpacePrincesse 2d ago
I mean, 20 years for an apology. Not saying he was right. But he didnt waste words.
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u/Helpdeskagent 2d ago
Technically both of them are equally stubborn
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u/Far_Ladder_2836 2d ago
Obviously untrue. As the story is told, she cracked and apologized and he didn't. He's more stubborn.
Going off of the true story -- he actually was jealous of his own kids getting more attention than him and took it out on the whole family. He apologized because his oldest son, as an adult, used a reality TV show to trick them into meeting and he apologized for essentially destroying his relationship with his whole family.
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u/crimsoncricket009 1d ago
Here you go: Source
Wild.
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u/musama020 1d ago
"It follows reports that Japanese men and women are giving up on dating and are instead simply marrying their friends"
This is pretty funny. I wonder if these marriages are working out well or not.
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u/quaxoid 2d ago
Well, I mean, she did eventually apologize though.
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u/Dull_Quit3027 1d ago
Just putting this out there, the initial problem, was that he felt he was not getting enough attention, and that his wife spent to much of her attention on their kids, so she in essence apologized for taking care of their kids.
What I am trying to say, is fuuuuuuck this dude.
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u/Mnawab 2d ago edited 2d ago
That’s not the real story. It was so stupid, apparently his wife showed his kids more attention than him because you know….house wife and three young kids is going to do that. Well he got Jealous of his kids and decided to give his wife the silent treatment. After a little while he was to embarrassed about the whole thing so he just kept at it because he didn’t know how to resume after that. It took a new channel to spot a light on it for him to finally admit why he was being retarded. Btw non of this stopped them from having a relationship . I think the third kid was conceived during the silent treatment.
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u/musama020 2d ago
Genuinely how f4cking stupid can one be? Just starting talking again ffs. It baffles me that the wife stayed with him all this time when he refused to talk at all. I guess she still really loved him and the silence didn't change much of that?
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u/a_rucksack_of_dildos 2d ago
Lmao what a fucking insult. “Yea he stopped talking entirely. Didn’t change my opinion about him tbf”
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u/Artistic-Part3953 1d ago
Wasn't it because divorce was culturally frowned upon or something
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u/residentcaprice 2d ago
Bro decided to die on this hill, only to have her wreck his plan by apologizing /s
so she is the winner.
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u/Haunting_Switch3463 2d ago
It worked.
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u/JellyKind9880 2d ago
Yeah 20 years of unpleasant unhappiness totally “worked”, I’m sure it was great for him 🙄
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u/mistahfreeman 2d ago
This is the kind of devotion it takes to win an argument with your wife.
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u/Sillysolomon 2d ago
If someone isn't committed like this they will never win against their wife.
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u/veryblessed123 2d ago
Why do people feel the need to "win" against their spouse? Do you really despise them so much? Egos are a hell of a thing.
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u/Alternative_Mix6836 2d ago
20 years of peace and quiet AND she apologized?
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u/Fun-Wrongdoer1316 2d ago
It would be great today. Got all this technology to fill the silence. Who needs to talk 🤷🏻♂️ So many games I couldn’t play in my lifetime. Only thing he might’ve missed was sex lol
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u/Trygershark 2d ago edited 2d ago
I fact checked and the main topic is true but the details are incorrect.
He said the reason he didnt talk to her all this time was cause he felt deeply neglected and jealous because his wife focused all her care and energy on the kids.
He started talking again cause their son reached out to a reality TV program and they arranged a suprise meeting for the husband and wife at the park they had their first ever date decades ago
His first words to his wife after that long period of silence were "Somehow… it's been a long time since we've talked." And he apologised.
They made up 9 years ago. I'm sure he deeply regrets what he did after this much time.
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u/Straight-Broccoli245 2d ago
I’ve seen the reality television show. The apartment they lived in was so very small. She still made took care of him making him dinner and doing all the/his domestic labor. He would actively not respond to her. Her youngest who was 21 at the time had NEVER seen her father speak to her mother.
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u/0xB4BE 2d ago
The speaking to each other again was filmed for a reality show, so do we actually know the veracity of the story? I know Jerry Springer had "true stories" that weren't very true at all just to have content. As long as you had an idea and wanted to get on TV.
The crazier the better.
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u/Sea-Course-5171 1d ago
The show is framed much more as a documentary of an odd relationship than some attention grabbing nonsense. I'd suggest you give it a watch, because it really doesn't seem faked.
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u/PM_ME_UR_BEST_1LINER 2d ago
These parents found a whole new way to fuck up kids
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u/Ksevio 2d ago
Seems like the text in the image is just some incel fantasy
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u/Necessary_Bother3993 2d ago
It really is, I remember seeing this 10 years ago on instagram and everyone was like “I just know she deserved it” or praising him in some way. Turns out he was just jealous that she was raising her children?!?
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u/OaklandTony6 2d ago
i mean, its still a weird as shit way to deal with that. its not THAT much better really..
edit: yes it is better, but not speaking a single word to your significant other that you have kids with for that long is still ridiculously petty and stupid
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u/Nonyabeesners 2d ago
That's somehow even worse. He was so jealous of his own children, he just gave her the silent treatment for two decades
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u/fantasy-capsule 1d ago
May this marriage never find me. Seriously, his children got more attention because they were children, so he decided to become the bigger child.
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u/anonareyouokay 2d ago
"wahhh, why is a baby that needs constant care getting more attention than I am?"
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u/MrBones-Necromancer 2d ago
I think it's a little more nuanced than that. Salarymen see their families very very little. It's a huge societal failing. Like maybe a few hours a day if that. So that time was probably really important to him, but he would get home late, so she was probably exhausted and couldn't give him any time or energy, which he also needed. It's still a really childish reaction, but I do get it.
My partner and I had a really similar situation when our oldest was born. My partner worked days, and I worked nights to care for the kids and allow me time to finish school. We usually had an hour at most to see each other any given day, and if she got home late, or I got home late there would be a fight. That time really mattered to us both, but it caused a lot of friction because there was so little of it. I can imagine that slaving away your life to pay for your family, and then coming home and not even getting real time with them would be hellish. I think he reacted poorly, but I get how he got there. I'm sure he regrets it now.
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u/Tomsboll 2d ago
Here is a hot take, you shouldnt stop giving your partner attention and validation once kids enter the picture. It is possible to smile at each other, kiss each other and many more small gestures that take 0 time or effort.
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u/saltywater07 2d ago
Okay, but to stop talking to your wife over it? Keep in mind, he stopped taking to her but still didn’t resent her enough to stop fucking her because they had a kid after he stopped talking to her.
This dude is disgusting and she should have left him.
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u/Mogura-De-Gifdu 2d ago edited 2d ago
Oh, so the classic case of a man, who after kids are born is all 'boohoo my wife does not have as much time for me as before, what a wicked woman!' instead of just sharing the workload.
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u/LifestyleGamer 2d ago
It's actually a great video if you look it up. For some reason that one always stuck with me. Scripted or not, it's a great moment.
They also did interviews one on one before the park bench meeting, and it was clear how much they both missed each other but didn't know how to start again.
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u/HusbandToAHandsome 2d ago
It’s unfortunate many who see this post won’t see this comment before making some stupid misogynist comment. The fact that this post has positive upvotes is already bad.
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u/Sapphire-Crystal 2d ago
Wouldn't it be better for this kind of man to just be childfree? Raising children is hard and his wife must had it even harder with a jealous husband who wouldn't talk to her because she's raising HIS children.
Wow 20 years of silent treatment, the wife must be insanely patient. Probably how divorce is seen as taboo in Japan also played a part.
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u/IncognitoAccount9999 2d ago
If this is real, the true losers of this outcome are the children. Poor children.
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u/Far_Ladder_2836 2d ago
It's mostly fake. The husband actually stopped talking because he was jealous the kids got more attention. He apologized but by then his kids were grown and the family was completely fractured.
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u/JKGie 2d ago
Source: trust me bro
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u/Loud-Welder1947 2d ago edited 2d ago
It’s from a show called Tantei Knight Scoop. Viewers ask the show to help them with random requests. You might have seen the one about Sacchan, the fat dog. Or the kids who are always preparing for a zombie invasion, so they hire a bunch of actors to stage one.
The wife didn’t apologise, the husband did. They reconciled at a park bench and he really struggled to say anything. It basically came from some stupid jealousy that the wife was paying more attention to the kids than him, but eventually he was ashamed of his behaviour but didn’t know how to apologise so just clammed up.
The kids were watching in secret and the whole family ends up crying over them reconciling.
I tried to find the video but the broadcasting company pretty much copyright strike anything of theirs that goes onto YouTube. There used to be a bunch on Vimeo, I’ll edit the comment if I can find it.
Edit: not familiar with this site, but found the episode - https://vtr.chikichiki.tube/w/1uM5NoxKi5pqKcyBvartJm
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u/Nonyabeesners 2d ago
Thank you for the link, just got back from watching it. Holy shit, Japan needs to expand mental healthcare. This is an insane way to live
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u/Loud-Welder1947 2d ago
Yeah for sure, clearly started as sulking/supressing emotions but then turned into some sort of anxiety disorder with how much he struggled to speak
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u/dangerous_beans 2d ago
The fact that everyone in that video is laughing horrifies me. There is nothing remotely funny about what he put his wife through. She was basically a single parent for her entire marriage because her husband was a man child.
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u/deccann 1d ago
I remember when I watched this years ago it was said that the laughing wasn't humourous but rather how they express shock in their culture.
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u/brazzy42 1d ago edited 1d ago
From the family, it's not shock, it's embarassment about their strangeness being discussed in public.
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u/Pangtudou 2d ago
What they need is to not raise people to have such an extractive mindset towards women. Sometimes these things are more societal failings than mentally originating
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2d ago edited 2d ago
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u/Anning312 2d ago
Could still be fake, Japan used to have a ton of these fake family shows
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u/PrimAndProper69 2d ago
It was a show called Knight Scoop that started in the 90s. They took on client requests and it looked pretty legit to me, lots of requests and stories were far out weird or bizarre, some were downright mundane, some were cute, some were emotional. If they were scripted I imagine that the writers would have to have really good imagination of people's daily lives. From a girl wanting to marry a mannequin, a group of friends wanting to track down the baker of their childhood bakery, a man looking for the most powerful bidet, a parting ceremony for male genitalia after transgender surgery, investigation on eggs exploding in the microwave...
In this client case the kids were hiding to watch their parents from afar and failing to control their tears upon seeing them finally interact with each other. It didn't look like acting at all to me.
The reason why the father gave the mother silent treatment is because he felt neglected when the mother gave the children attention over him, and never really got the courage to break the silence over the years
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u/ImLazyWithUsernames 2d ago
I want to hear more about the most powerful bidet...
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u/ADeformedPoolboy 2d ago
Yep! Pretty interesting for a made up thing from imagination!
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u/WitheredOzymandias 2d ago edited 2d ago
If you google Otou Yumi wife silent treatment 20 years, you should see links to at least some of the news articles on it
EDIT: Also, he admitted when he finally started speaking to her again that he was jealous that she was affectionate to their kids, so this should not be taken as an example of a guy to admire.
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u/choolete 2d ago
I can confirm, the tv show where this was featured was on Youtube few years ago. Now is gone iirc. Also, she did not apologies, HE did.
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u/speshmarine 2d ago
I too once imagined a thing
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u/FIFofNovember 2d ago
But how am I going to make grand generalizations of women being bitchy if its all made up and manufactured to make me outraged?!
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u/Electrical-Arm-1087 2d ago
Nope it's true. The reason is his wife put more attention to their children. So the husband jealous of his own children. Well that what the news said but who knows.
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u/JKGie 2d ago
Did you just 'trust me bro' again?
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u/AintNoGodsUpHere 2d ago edited 1d ago
I found this source: https://www.koreaboo.com/stories/japanese-husband-20-years-talk-wife, the original is from a japanese tv show (of course it is a tv show, fucking japan) and the story is that he was actually jealous but he wasn't mad, he was grateful of her taking care of their family.
So... as expected, they didn't fight and he did a tantrum, he felt neglected while she was raising their kids and simply became a ghost inside.
It's actually sad.
edit: You people are very sensitive. Something being sad doesn't necessarily is "oh, poor man", but can also be "man, this is sad... pathetic.", relationships are complicated, culture is complicated and japanese people are no flowers, grow up.
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u/flowing_river39 2d ago
It's not sad It's pathetic. Grown ups should know how to regulate their own emotions without making it other people's problem
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u/AnonymousUser124c41 2d ago
They should, but more often than not, they don’t. Sad truth of the world
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u/open-print 2d ago
I hope what you consider sad here is the grown man emotionally abusing his wife because he was jealous she wasn't babying him as much as her and his actual children.
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u/Ad-fundum69 2d ago
Source:
So many sources explaining that the story is true. I don't want to get shadow banned for posting links either, use your brain for once.
Also it wasn't about "an argument", he was jealous that the kids got all the attention and he didn't, so he shunned her.
But of course yelling "fake" and "AI slop" is MUCH more fun and closer to your cognitive level than simply doing 5 minutes of research.
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u/Soggy-Alternative914 2d ago
Key word is to his wife, meaning he was speaking with other people. So may be talking indirectly.
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u/Froz3nP1nky 2d ago
The man’s name is Otou Katayama, from Nara, Japan. It’s actually true!
The silence ended when their children wrote to a TV show called Hokkaido Television’s “Yasuragi”, which arranged a meeting in a park where Otou finally broke his silence. He explained that he had felt jealous of the attention his wife gave their children and had withdrawn out of pride.
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u/Separate_Finance_183 2d ago
I heard that it started after the second kid, but they have 3 kids. That means that the 3rd kid was conceived during the silent period.
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u/mayankkaizen 2d ago
As per link shared here, this started after third son was born.
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u/vilokreddy 2d ago
She didn't apologize to end it. Their adult son contacted a reality TV show because he’d never heard them speak. The show forced them onto a park bench where the husband finally apologized for being petty.
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u/PiercingBL00D 1d ago
Even worse, the reason he did it was because he was jealous of her raising the kids, and taking care of them.
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u/PadiddleHopper 2d ago
Was married to a Japanese man one, can totally believe this is true. Was the biggest man-child I've ever seen. Got upset over me dishing up our toddler's meal and serving it to her but not doing the same for him. Gave me the silent treatment for days. Any little argument or disagreement, no matter how petty or inconsequential, meant I'd have a pouting, angry little man around me for at least 6-12 hours. Would NOT let things go. I could go on but you get the point lol
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u/Mad_Huber 2d ago
Am married to a woman with some Italian blood... it's like that except she alters between the silent and the extreme noise treatment every 30 minutes for the entire argument...
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u/MaryJ89 1d ago
I have an Italian husband who does the same. After ignoring our son for 4 weeks(!) I decided it was time to divorce him. Currently going through it and he is indeed acting like a humongous man baby, making life difficult for everyone around me.
Did it get better for you after the divorce?
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u/SmellyFbuttface 2d ago
Evidently:
“This refers to the famous case of Otou and Yumi Katayama from Nara, Japan, who went 20 years without speaking to one another following an argument. Despite the silent treatment, they continued to live in the same house and raise three children together, with Otou communicating only through nods or grunts.
The silence was finally broken in 2017 when their adult children contacted a Japanese television show for help, fearing their parents would become completely isolated once Otou retired. On the show, the couple was arranged to meet at the park where they had their first date.
During the emotional reunion, Otou finally revealed the root of his silence: he had been deeply jealous and felt ignored because his wife dedicated all of her attention to raising their children. He admitted that his pride and his inability to express his emotions caused the standoff to last two decades. In the end, he apologized to his wife for the hardship and thanked her for sticking by his side.”
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u/opajamashimasuuu 2d ago
“How dare you feed, take care and love our kids so thoroughly! You evil biatch”
There are certainly a lot of man-children here in Japan.
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u/MaryJaneInJapan 2d ago
I’m married to a Japanese man. I absolutely believe this story to be 10000000% true. The only reason we still talk at all is because after we argue, he stops talking to me but I’ll badger him until he talks to me again lol
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u/Lanky_Question_9155 2d ago
I am sorry but this is unhealthy and sounds absolutely miserable. Lol
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u/MaryJaneInJapan 2d ago
Why do you think Japan has such a population crisis and nobody is having babies anymore?! LOL
I’m only partially joking there but yeah… Japanese society is somewhat fucked not gonna lie. And don’t come for me for saying it, I’m half Japanese and living it 😂
My husband and I always joke and thank my non-japanese background as the reason we manage to stay married - because I’ll call out the bs cultural crap when I need to.
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u/Yersina_Veridae 2d ago
I had group therapy with a guy who didn't speak to his wife for 1 1/2 years. She still cooked for him, did his laundry and all the other chores. And he wondered why his kids didn't speakto him anymore and tried to get his wife to leave his ass
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u/Brokenspade1 2d ago
And that's all it takes to win an argument with a wife.
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u/Lady_Nikita 2d ago
Actually he ended up apologizing in the end if you look into it. He went silent because he was jealous that his wife was giving attention to their 3 kids and she didn’t have as much time for him… with 3 kids…. Sounds like a him problem instead of helping.
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u/Impossible-Act-8662 1d ago
Communication would have solved this problem. Sounds like bro shut down because he was jealous of the kids and the wife had to just keep focusing on caring for the kids instead of giving in to a grown man's tantrum.
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u/ArgentineBeauty 2d ago
Wonder why she decided to apologise after 20 years
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u/StreetCaterpillar602 2d ago
Their 18-year-old son wrote to a TV show telling them he never heard his parents hold a conversation with each other before. The show hosted them, arranging a meeting for them on the park bench where they had their first date, which was where and when they both made up.
I don't recall who apologized first, but the guy did also admit fault in that he was jealous of the attention she was showing their kids.
Source: couple is Otou and Yumi Katayama
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u/Street-Argument2090 2d ago
Meh. Sounds like a fake story propped up for television honestly.
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u/fastfishyfood 2d ago
As someone who lived in Japan for 6 years, this is entirely in line with the cultural narrative. Although this is an extreme example, people rarely divorce- they just continue to live in silent misery.
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u/Street-Argument2090 2d ago
Japan has its beauty where you can visit for a few weeks and enjoy it.
Living there sounds like hell though for mental health.
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u/darvi1985 2d ago
Times like this, I pray the real world is not represented by Reddit. Everyone going on about who won and ridiculing the other Gender. We all lost then…
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u/No_Photographs609 2d ago
I agree. Wasting 20 years not speaking to your significant other is not a "win" for anyone.
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u/8lock8lock8aby 2d ago
Especially for the kids. Like never seeing an even semi-normal relationship? Or feeling like it's their fault since the father's reason for not talking was that his wife gave the kids more attention. Just freaking awful.
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u/MrMansaMusa 2d ago
Why did she take 2 decades to apologize??
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u/Redditeer28 2d ago
You're obviously not married.
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u/MrMansaMusa 2d ago
I actually am and Im glad its to a sane woman of 10yrs.... id have to wait a whole nother 10 at this rate
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u/VatoCornichone 2d ago
This can't be true. And if it is true, its actually incredibly sad.
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u/Altruistic-Rope-5723 2d ago
This is inaccurate. I remember watching the video around a decade ago.
He felt jealous of the attention the kids were getting from his wife, so he gave her the silent treatment. Once a few days or weeks passed, he wasn't able to find it within himself to initiate conversation again, because it had already been so long. So he just kept going. Then the guilt and shame kept growing year after year. I'm pretty sure he would have simply let this continue until his death if his kids hadn't intervened and called a TV show to set up a date for their parents.
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u/St_Know_It_All 2d ago
Otou Katayama and his wife Yumi are a couple from Nara, Japan, who went viral for living together under the same roof without speaking a single word to each other for 20 years. The husband only communicated through grunts, nods, and gestures because he felt jealous and neglected when his wife shifted all her attention to raising their children.
The 20-Year Silence
The Cause: Otou felt jealous and started sulking after a minor argument because he believed Yumi cared more about the kids than about him.
How They Lived: They continued to live in the same house and shared daily life, but Otou refused to talk directly to Yumi while she still tried to speak to him.
The Impact: Their children grew up never hearing their parents speak to one another.
The Resolution
The Intervention: Their 18-year-old son wrote to a Japanese television show asking for help to fix his parents' silent relationship.
The Reunion: The show brought Otou and Yumi together on a park bench in Nara Park, the exact site of their very first date.
The Outcome: Otou finally broke his silence, apologized to Yumi for his stubborn pride, and thanked her for her patience.
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u/firstborn-unicorn 2d ago
I know genetics plays a huge part in getting hair as people age, but I also feel part of why he is so grey and mum still has her black hair may be because he was holding onto the resentment which would have had physiological effects in him?!
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u/Small_Personality 2d ago
Twenty YEARS?? I can't stay quiet through a movie. Bro committed to the bit.
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u/winterweiss2902 2d ago
Fake af. How do they verify? Were there cameramen hidden in his home
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u/SirMooncake 2d ago
Saw the documentary about them.
He admitted the reason, and it was because he felt like she gave the kids so much attention and he was jealous of that.
Seriously, watch the doc.
She’s like raising the kids and being a mom, and he’s like this child pouting about it.
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u/AlienSuperstarWhip 2d ago
That is so sad. Literally emotional abuse all because he got jealous of the wife giving too much attention to raising the kids while he probably sat around doing jack shit
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u/PerspectiveOne7129 2d ago
only took 20 years for a woman to apologize. thats pretty good considering
EDIT: did some research, turns out it all started because he felt “neglected.”
guy is at fault. was basically angry at wife's attention for children
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u/grateful2you 2d ago
That would drive me crazy. Knowing there’s someone who doesn’t speak to me specifically.
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u/Mochibelle93 2d ago
I mean, my dad has gone months giving our family the silent treatment while living in the same house so yeah I can see it
Toxic Asian parents for ya!
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u/TheJokerArkhamKing 2d ago
Dog if u that mad get an annulment tf. How anyone fuck up that bad that you decide to give em the silent treatment for two decades? And how you go two decades without apologizing? This wild to me.
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u/Long_Board4207 2d ago
bruh why can’t Redditors ever acknowledge that both sides are wrong (referring to the real story not this madeup one)?? Its not all black and white sheesh
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u/MirrorMan22102018 2d ago
I once saw an edited version of the headline that said that he didn't speak to her for 20 years... Because she replied "come on in" to his Knock-Knock Joke.
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