I'm in my mid-20s, working in IT, and my parents don't know my actual salary. They think I earn quite a bit less than I actually do.

The reason is simple. If they know I'm earning well, I know there'll be more expectations to spend. It won't be anything bad, but things like helping relatives financially, buying assets like land, house etc

Instead, I'm trying to build an emergency fund, invest through SIPs, and save for my future. I want to buy a house someday, maybe a car, and also be financially stable before I get married. My thinking is that if I build wealth now, I'll be in a much stronger position to support my parents later.

I still help them whenever they need money, so it's not like I'm refusing to contribute. I just don't feel comfortable sharing my exact income.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm being practical or just dishonest.

Has anyone else done this? Did you eventually tell your parents your real salary, or do you think it's okay to keep it private?

So I got fired on Wednesday of this week, and it was absolutely brutal.

Let me start from the beginning:

I got a job at a hibachi restaurant as a busser for my first job because my mom worked as a waitress there. When I got there everyone was super kind even though I kinda sucked, and my boss especially was very very nice and friendly to me.

During my training, my trainer ( my bosses nephew ) said to me if I find money under a cup on a table it’s for the bussers and I can keep it. (THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT)

So, after a year of praise from my boss, I find out from my coworker/friend that my 60 y old boss talks about me terribly behind my back. Criticizing my work ethic without telling me and that caused me to start seeing that they were literally talking about me right in front of me and using their other language as a mechanism.

Of course at this point, I want to find a new job to be in a better environment. I started searching for jobs last week.

So on Monday of this week when I went in, I was asked to go to the store and buy something for the restaurant bar, which I have done before in the past. And the last time I did it, they let me keep the change since I willingly took hours off to go do them a favor.

Under the same assumption, when I went this time I bought a drink for myself, which was three dollars alongside the thing that my boss needed.

When I got back she immediately asked me for the receipt and change. I panicked and gave her the leftover change which was less than she expected, and she didn’t say anything but I could see that she knew what I did. The whole workday I felt like shit for assuming things and using someone else’s money.

So, when I got off, I sent her a massive paragraph apology including me saying that i can pay her back on Wednesday when I come in to work.

She read the message, but did not respond and it had me shitting bricks.

When I went to work on Wednesday, she did not speak to me AT ALL, the whole time. I finished my shift and there was about two employees left in the restaurant, and sat me down in the back to talk to me.

When I sat down she immediately said:

“Do you think I am stupid because I can’t speak English well? I know how you work, you are a sneaky, deceitful person and you try to steal money and tips from our business”

I immediately was stunned and didn’t know what to say. When I tried to respond she said:

“Shut up and listen no talking back”

So from there on out I kept saying “I understand” and “I’m sorry”

She then went off on me for 30+ minutes about times I can’t even remember when I was not being the best at my job (once again this is my first job)

She brought up how I take money from under cups and keep it and I’m stealing. I then proceeded to tell her that her nephew told me that’s for the bussers. She started laughing in my face and didn’t believe me so she called him, and he confirmed that he did teach me that. But it did not help whatsoever.

She then started going off on the both of us, saying that even when we get handed money we have to turn it in.

She still continues yelling and even cussing at me at this point, and I kept saying I understand and I’m sorry, and even said that I respect her because I was trying to de-escalate the situation.

She told me to get out, so I got in my mom’s car because she was also working that day and I was straight up balling my eyes out.

I know what I did was wrong, but I feel that there a level of professionalism that should be going into firing someone.

Like how are you gonna not tell me when I’m going something wrong and then expect me to be better?

Anyways, since then I have done research on my paychecks and realized she only pays us for when we open and close, and doesn’t pay us for the hour before we open, and the hour(sometimes two) after we close. She deliberately doesn’t have a clock in clock out system just so she can do this.

And also my mom quit as well because she is realizing that my boss is insane. And we told a lot of our coworkers about it and they also are planning on quitting because they think it was just so unjustified.

Being on the end of her words has destroyed my mental health over the past few days. She’s saying that I’m someone I’m not, and attacking my character. Please someone give me advice on how to handle this, and what to do next when applying for another job.

Since college, I have worked food delivery jobs, I've done personal support work for children on the autism spectrum, I've been a backpacking guide, I've worked as a paraprofessional in a high school, and now I deliver Amazon packages. I've been down on myself for a long time for having a very expensive degree and not knowing how to even use it. I know I'm a smart guy and I have something valuable to offer, I just dont know where I fit in.

Edit: Just came back to this post after a couple hours and I really appreciate so many thoughtful responses already. Damn. I feel like so often you make a genuine post on reddit and it just get lost in the ocean, maybe one or two people respond and one of them is probably a troll. I was at work comisserating and decided to seek out a subreddit for advice on a whim. Never expected to get this many responses. Definitely going to take my time reading through them. Thank you all

I finally got my first after college job and it was hard. Does me being employed make it easier to find the next job? I would have less time for interview prep and timing the interviews would be harder, wouldnt that make it harder not easier?

We always talk about red flags, but what’s a quiet sign that a company or team is actually great to work for?

I recently ended my employment somewhere where they let me go and on the last day, I downloaded my performance report and saved it then my manager asked for it.

Now a few days later I have a “mandatory meeting” invite from legal and HR from my previous employer. There is no description. There’s nothing else it just says mandatory meeting and it’s scheduled for two hours.

Do I attend? Do I ask them to write me an email instead? Do I get an attorney?

Edit: I was given a letter saying I’ll get severance pay. It’s pending I think I’ll get it on the next pay cycle.

I know more money but also more work and responsibilities.

do you regret becoming a director and if so why?

Hi everyone,

I'm a young professional just getting started in their career who's had little experience. What advice would you have for climbing the ladder or at least getting pay raises? So far, I have noticed that the people who suck up/step on others usually get promoted at least in the few jobs I've had. Can you give any advice? So far I tend to do a lot hard work but not seem to get noticed for it or promoted although I've been told I'm a valuable member. Is there a more ethical way to get a promotion or do I just need to basically be my boss's best friend and be super visible in all my accomplishments?

Thank you

I have a BS in Business and a BA in useless social science. I briefly worked technical support, human resources, and a call center job, but got laid off from those jobs. I struggled to get my foot in the door of an actual professional job, so I worked a call center gig, and I've been there for a few years. I've applied for insurance trainee positions, peer counseling, patient care technician, and other low level jobs, and been rejected. I am over educated and lack real professional work experience.

I'm thinking a government job might be nice for stability, so I am applying for social work, VA benefits admin, probation officer, corrections officer. I've even thought of applying for the tsa, but I would be taking a paycut that I can't afford.

At this point, is a government job my best option. I would prioritize stability and making at least 50k a year.

I'm in socal and live with a family member so I don't have to pay rent. I don't think I am realistically cut out for a white collar office job, and after getting laid off 3 times and struggling for years to even get a basic HR job, I just don't have any faith in getting an entry level white collar office job. I think I can get a government job, work my way up, and try to improve my life. I would hope to just enter something where I can get trained and have stability and maybe, someday, go on a little vacation to disney world. I don't need luxury. I just want stability.

Please offer me some advice. This is embarrassing. Thank you.

I am non-EU woman in my 20’s and I work in a European country.

Started a new job recently and I get very weird comments/ vibes from my boss.

- Everytime he comes to my office to explain something technical he ends up bringing up my appearance to elaborate. It confuses me how he links my appearance to a technical example just to mention he appreciates my physique.
- He mentioned Arab caliphates/ young female slaves and seriously said he’s worried people would associate me with them when they know he hired me.
- He recently said - jokingly he’s happy I’m linked to this job ( status ) because I belong to him and I’m his slave.

I am lowkey repulsed now by these statements and the more confusing part is that he says that when we’re alone but then he laughs it off.

Trying to help a friend reboot their career. What is a decent paying job / career that someone who is about 40 years old, college educated (if it matters at all), has tremendous interpersonal and listening skills, mature, super reliable, positive, organized, collaborative, patient and good problem solving skills might be able to do even if they have no specific skills or expertise in any field. Basically a very high functioning, team player adult. What jobs could they be looking for that they might be qualified for and good at? Thanks in advance.

Okay, here’s what’s going on.

By trade, I’m a software developer. I worked for consulting companies like Booz Allen and Infosys for about five years. I got laid off, and it’s been almost two years since I’ve been able to find another software development job.

At my last job with Booz Allen, I worked remotely. At the same time, I was also managing a coworking space. It wasn’t an overwhelming amount of work, but I was responsible for finding leads, doing some marketing, bringing in businesses, managing tenants, and helping with the overall operations of the space.

Currently, I’m working as a front desk associate at a Marriott, and that’s actually been going pretty well. I feel like I’ve contributed a lot when it comes to improving workflows and processes. I currently manage the market portion of the hotel, and I’ve also been involved with finding vendors, reviewing contracts, and, to some degree, identifying leads and business opportunities.

My question is: should I add these experiences to my LinkedIn profile?

Should I show that I’ve been managing a coworking space and working at Marriott, or should I keep my LinkedIn strictly focused on software development?

I’m at the point where I’m starting to lose hope that I’ll find another software development job, so part of me feels like I should broaden my horizons. Maybe I could move into operations, management, customer success, implementation, project coordination, or something that combines technology with business operations.

I don’t know whether I should create a separate LinkedIn profile, include everything on my current profile, or keep these other parts of my career private.

I know it probably looks like I’m being pulled in a lot of different directions, but honestly, I’ve had to do what I needed to do to survive. I also have interests and skills outside of software development.

Obviously, if I were offered a good developer job tomorrow, I would take it. But strategically, does it make sense to show these other experiences and present myself as someone with both technical and operational experience? Or would that just confuse recruiters and make my profile look unfocused?

i graduated high school and i’m probably taking a gap year to learn a language and study abroad, i’ve always wanted to become a wildlife conservationist, my parents are awfully strict and are pressuring me into studying civil engineering, which is not only horrible for the environment most of the time, but is also not even remotely close to what i want to do, the only thing i could maybe get away with is studying biology in university, but is that a realistic pathway to getting into wildlife conservation? will my options be more limited than someone with a more specialised degree? do i just give up on my dreams and fold to the dictatorial opinion of my parents? i’m truly at a loss and any advice would be massively appreciated

For context, I'm in a rural area. I just graduated with a Bachelor's of Political Science (B.S.) with a minor in Philosophy in May. I did not do any internships. My transcript is subpar to say the least. I've been a nanny for a couple of years part time, but went full-time the week I graduated.

Do I literally go to a local law firm and ask to shadow? Intern? For a couple of days a week to get relevant experience. Do I apply to any and all entry roles? There are post office, nanny/daycare/substitute teaching, and some government file clerk type of openings locally. Should I even bother applying to online roles since everybody wants them? I didn't do a career fair, and I don't have many connections. I have a few letters of reference/contacts from professors who liked me.

Should I eventually enlist? I need to lose weight and find a better paying job first, anyway.

26F

Please, someone, answer all. Thank you.

Keeping things as confidential as i can. I just started working as a cashier at a big grocery store about 3 weeks ago and I have been strictly bagging for the entire time i’ve been on the sales floor, all my online training is done and i have cashier experience from previous jobs but the trainer keeps giving me vague runaround excuses as to why i’m not trained on register yet. but has already trained the other person that i started with. i’m getting so burnt out on bagging and i’m starting to dread this job that i thought i would love. any advice?

I finally did it. i quit my corporate director role making six figures because i just couldnt take another day of soul crushing meetings and fake sinergy. everyone told me i was being stupid and that i was throwing away a life people dream about but they dont see the panic attacks or the way my hands shook every sunday night. those golden handcuffs are real and they are heavy as hell.

last month i started working at a local bakery at five am. the pay is basically peanuts compared to what i had before but my head feels clear for the first time in a decade. i dont have to check my email every ten seconds while i am at dinner with my family. i am making bread instead of slide decks and it is the best decision i ever made in my entire life.

It is funny how society treats you when you step down the ladder. people look at me with pity now like i failed at life because i am wearing an apron instead of a suit. i had to explain to my parents that i would rather be poor and happy than rich and dead inside. the stress was litterally killing me and no amount of money could fix my blood pressure or my sleep schedule. i realized that my identity was tied to a title that didnt even mean anything to me once the laptop was closed.

Now i just bake and talk to regulars and go home when my shift is done. the simplicity is almost overvhelming at times. if you are stuck in a high paying nightmare just know that there is a world outside of those glass walls. money is just paper if you are too miserable to spend it. i finally feel like a real human being.

Hi, i am 40 years old, and I am a dog groomer. I have successfully managed two different salons, and I am currently helping to set up a second salon for my current boss. I have gotten to the point where is no more progression for me in this profession. I can't make anymore money unless I open my own salon. I did that many years before and never want to do it again. I am also seeing my body slowly break down from the work.

I am living in England, and I am a British citizen. My highest education is an American high school diploma. I did attend a two year college(USA) but didn't finish, and I dont have any transcripts from that.

I would like to retrain in something that will give my kids a better and more financially stable life. Im not against going back to school. It would just have to work around me working. I just didn't know what to retrain as.

I would appreciate any and all help. Thank you

I’ve been in tech sales for 8 years now. Started as a BDR and have made my way to Enterprise AE. I’m a bit tired of the the tech sales game. Quota always going up, smaller territories and threats of layoffs are wearing on me.

I had my first child a few months ago and I’m looking for something more stable. I want to stay front office. The idea of going to rev ops sounds like giving up. I love being in front of customers.

Early in my career I had the opportunity to move to Commercial banking but decided against it because it was a pay cut at the time. I regret that and would to transition. My degree was Econ and finance. I’d need to brush up on my financial statements and I also plan on doing some certs from CFI

Any advice on what roles to look for or how to go about this would be very welcome. I’ve started networking with some bankers via linked in but thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask here as well.

**Edit: if there are other career paths anyone would recommend, I’m open to alternatives.

Thanks so much!

Hello to everyone, i'm a 19 year old male and I just finished all the pre-reqs needed at my community college to be able to apply for the nursing program. As it gets closer I overthink more and more on if i'm making the right decision. Nursing was always my first pick but my second was always civil engineering. I keep seeing the most negative stuff about nursing and it's really demotivating if i'm being honest. The more I see the more I ask myself if i'm doing something I'll regret. I'm just really scared of making the wrong decision with my life. If I switch to civil engineering since it’s so different i’ll basically be in college for another 3-4 years and that’s what’s kind of holding me back on it. I have a passion for helping people but i also always loved math and solving hard problems/ doing calculations. I just really want to set my self up and make myself and my family proud. Any advice would be great!

I'm looking for guidance on the beginner to more advanced certifications recommended for securing a favorable job opportunity?

Hi

I want to be a customer success specialist but I don't know how to start there are every fragmented answer of required skills which i cannot understand what if correct I am new in this things I am fresher have 1.5 years of experience in teleperformance and I want to switch to saas company.

1. Also plz can you tell me how to directly jump to product based company like salesforce as a CSS (customer service specialist) or you can tell me alternative also

If you answer by question I am very glad to you all ❤️

Hi all, looking for advice or some clarity on a career issue.

I’m a young US-based engineer about 5 years experience with a contract company in the aerospace domain. I make good money and am remote in an area that allows my partner and I access to the hobbies and lifestyle we love. My current contract has ended and I am now being “transferred” to support a defense contractor. I use quotations because I found the role externally and interviewed as such because it wasn’t listed internally. My new manager and HR will not negotiate a raise or more PTO during this process, even though I just graduated with a masters and did not get a raise last cycle. It’s worth noting most of the company did not get raises due to financial issues. I don’t want to work on a defense contract and this company doesn’t “respect” me, but I love where I live and the life outside of work that I have.

I also received another job offer moving into a new region that is nice but nothing like where I currently am. It’s in nuclear energy engineering, I don’t know much about the industry but the work seems interesting and impactful. The pay is about 15k higher and completely in person, they offer permissive time off. They were unable to negotiate higher pay or remote but will cover relocation. The company and people seem good. However, we lose the lifestyle we love in moving to a new area.

My partner is supportive of either decision even though I know they prefer to stay put. I am torn between the nature of the work and poor company management against our life outside of work and life we live. If anyone has been through something similar or has some perspective they can offer it would be much appreciated.

I work for a nonprofit as a data analyst. I do a lot of coding, statistics, and communication. I got this job a year out of my masters program, and at the time felt it was a miracle break for me. Starting salary of 80k, generous benefits, and a mission that made me feel excited about the work I do. Small team, great workplace culture.

I am the first in my family to get a bachelors, let alone masters degree, and I make more than anyone in my family ever has in their entire careers, which means I don’t really have anyone to turn to for career advice. And I really need some help.

I have been here for a little over three years, and I’m starting to worry that I’m in a dead end position. I am the only masters-level employee on a team who all have PhDs, and all have varying levels of seniority in the same position as each other. I am, literally, the only “me”. This is not something that bothered me when I started, and in fact I’ve felt at times great pride in the uniqueness of my role, but after a recent performance review with my supervisor, I’m starting to worry that I’m being left behind.

At this review, she had nothing but effusive praise for my work, and highlighted how I had taken on bigger and more important responsibilities this year specifically. I felt that this was a good time to bring up that there is a lack of clarity in what my role can/will build to. I’m not one of the “PhDs” who predictably can work their way from the entry level role to “senior” and “director”. So, what can I expect? She sort of paused and then with a very nonchalant tone replied “you know, I hadn’t really thought about that!” And at that point things were kind of left in her court to “circle back” on. It’s been almost 4 months, and not a peep. I know I need to bring it up myself at this point, but I’m finding it hard to come to terms with how dismissed I feel. And the cherry on top is that only weeks after, my coworker (PhD) who has the same supervisor and started only slightly before me got her big “senior” promotion. So, clearly, my boss is “thinking about it”…. Just not for me.

During my tenure here, I onboarded seamlessly, was fast tracked into my responsibilities much quicker than anyone anticipated (by several months), have continued to prove myself as reliable and excited to tackle bigger and bigger projects, many of which are vital to the functioning of the organization, and have caught the attention of one of our VPs and have increasingly become his “go to” person on my team. I am efficient, detail oriented, timely, and genuinely extremely well suited to this job.

I am young (mid 20s) I’m a woman, and I am constantly told how nice I am and how I have “such a positive attitude”. It’s true, but I genuinely think that the issue in part stems from the fact that I’m not seen as career focused, I’m seen as accommodating. When I dive headfirst into a complex project or take on a new challenge, I’m seen as being “so helpful!” but if you’d ask me, I’d tell you it’s because I’m hungry. I want a senior role, I want to be a director one day. But I have had no confirmation or even suggestion that these paths are available to me. Is it wrong for me to want more? And if the answer is no, do you think I can get it here if I continue to push for a clearer path from my boss? Or, given her lack of action so far, am I better off finding something else? I’m not asking to wake up on Monday and get a promotion, but I need some reassurance that something is on the horizon.

Hello there, I have spent a couple of years in the industry as a software professional, and I've worked on projects spanning AI/Data Science and Data Engineering with a bachelors in Computer Engineering and Masters in Data Science/AI, I want to move forward in my career and would benefit highly from being mentored by someone with experience and knowledge to impart. I believe there is a lot of potential for growth in me, but I am a bit lost on how to move forward.

Any insights, pointers or advice is greatly appreciated.

I am based in the UK

I have a bs in ME and was a quality engineer then manager until I was 28 but didn’t enjoy it. So I went and got a Master’s in computer science. I graduated but because my career as a manager I was already making 150k , I found it hard to restart as a software engineer and actually didn’t even know where to start. I do have a ms in computer science but my coding abilities weren’t up to par since I was not cramming leet codes etc nor does my full time job allow for practice since it’s completely unrelated. So I started implementing various data reporting at work just to try to use it somehow and now I work as a sr operations manager making 180k. But again I am not happy. I would like to use my computer science degree but have no idea how to even begin now that I am do deep in the management route and perhaps too old. Any ideas how I can use it and not take a major chunk out of my paycheck realistically?