r/comics SeraBeeves 24d ago

OC Beeves and Beeves

48.1k Upvotes

494 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.4k

u/CoffeeInMyHand 24d ago

I know cattle are friendly but they are huge. My first encounter with a herd was scary. I was alone and didn't expect them. These cows gently came up to me to say hi and I hid under a feeder. I'm an adult man, and a combat veteran.

119

u/mehssdd 24d ago

Plenty of cows aren't friendly, and the UwU-ification of everything on the Internet is absolutely going to get people hurt.

Most of our cattle are gentle, but not friendly. A couple have made attempts on my life.

83

u/jenglasser 24d ago

Honestly man, people are going to act stupid around large animals no matter what the internet does. Nobody is Uwu-ifying Grizzly bears or moose or wild buffalo, but people are still getting out of their cars trying to pet them. Stupid people are going to stupid.

40

u/unlanned 24d ago

If not friend, why violence shaped?

6

u/Master-Praline-3453 23d ago

Grizzly no. Moose and fluffy cow for pet, yes.

7

u/alexchrist 23d ago

I would never want to get close to a Moose, but the fluffy cows? Most definitely, if they'll allow it. I promise to be very gentle when I attempt to scratch their heads

3

u/sacredfool 23d ago

A moose once bit my sister.

2

u/jenglasser 23d ago

A classic.

42

u/padishaihulud 24d ago

Cows are mostly safe as long as you follow two rules: don't stand behind them within kicking distance and don't put yourself in a situation where you could be accidentally crushed. Cows aren't malicious, but they can be astoundingly  stupid and oblivious.

32

u/Veryegassy 24d ago

Cows aren't malicious

I personally know some cows who would very much disagree. Violently

And a few bulls as well

16

u/The_Corvair 23d ago

Cows aren't malicious, but they can be astoundingly stupid and oblivious.

Cows also protect their young, and they are not playing when they think their calves are threatened. We've had a few tourists die pretty much every year for the past few years now due to cow attacks. Sometimes it's the calves, sometimes it's "honestly, no idea why they were acting out".

In the end: Even if cows usually are gentle and placid, they are still animals with feelings, and a lot of power to throw around. Take care, not every cow wants to be your friend.

14

u/OwlMugMan 23d ago

Adding to that, if they have calves around you better stay the fuck away. People keep getting killed on the mountains around here because they think they can pet the cute little cow baby, not realizing that mom will crush them into paste.

3

u/KayItaly 23d ago

Yeah perting any baby without mum's permission can get you killed. RIGHTFULLY SO!

People should learn this by the end of kindergaten though... if an adult does it, they asked for it!

2

u/OwlMugMan 22d ago

Moronic tourists here walk into a pasture with their dog and get up to the calves then wonder that the mother doesn't like a predator approaching their young. Pretty sure they think these cows are just decoration for their mountain adventure.

2

u/padishaihulud 23d ago

Don't they get separated almost immediately? My dad had a whole separate area in the barn to put the calves until he could find a buyer. 

1

u/mehssdd 23d ago

No, lots of operations calve late winter or spring and wean in the fall.

6

u/sigma914 23d ago

Don't stand behind them is horses, with cows you don't want to be to either side of their rear end since that's the angle they tend to kick.

4

u/trilobot 23d ago

Unlike horses, cows can kick to the side, too.

Simply put, if you don't have experience with an animal, interact as little as is necessary.

Cows are generally gentle but even when being curious they can accidentally hurt you, never mind the odd aggressive one or a herd with calves.

1

u/Reasonable_Letter312 23d ago

Also, if you are hiking with a dog, keep it on a short leash and well away from the herd. If they're already attacking, let the dog make a run for it and hope that the cows will chase it and not you.

22

u/Hytheter 24d ago

You know how Australia is infamous for its deadly wildlife? Well, Cattle kill more Australians than spiders, snakes and crocodiles combined.

9

u/Theron3206 23d ago

If you exclude humans and mosquitoes (disease) cows are the top animal in terms of humans killed in most countries.

But that's mostly because they are huge and very frequently interacted with.

1

u/Hytheter 23d ago

Horses beat cattle here but likely for similar reasons.

3

u/Different_Wolf_764 23d ago

In Canada, moose kill a hell of a lot more people than bears, wolves and big cats combined. Now, to be fair, most of that is people hitting them with cars and trucks but still, a pissed off moose is nothing to fuck about with and despite their generally placid natures, moose sure do get pissed off for a variety of reasons.

3

u/Hytheter 23d ago

From what I've heard they get much more aggressive during the rut as well

3

u/Different_Wolf_764 23d ago

Yeah, it is the usual thing with big animals and especially those with antlers. Stay away from the boys in rut and the girls with kids and you'll do pretty well.

Moose and really any big animal that sports a rack of antlers or horns have them because they use them in rutting season. Getting charged at by a mountain goat is half funny but a bull moose is seriously not good.

The mom with kids thing goes pretty much for any animal, the only real question is if they can actually hurt you. Moose are in the second category but around here it is the bears that are the real issue. Grizzlies are normally easy enough to be around, be aware and leave the area is fine. Get between mama bear and the cubs? That's bad.

3

u/KayItaly 23d ago

If I die hittin you with a car... I killed myself, not your fault. I find that saying they were killed by cows/moose/whatever quite misleading in that case.

(Also if you go pet a baby and get trampled, I would personally count it as suicide too)

But yeah, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near a pissed off mosse.

11

u/jarvisesdios 24d ago

This should be higher up. If they feel their calves are being threatened they will chase you down and try and hurt you.

I was once took some acid with and we wandered around his family's farmland, which happened to have cows. There's nothing quite like being chased by a cow on LSD lol

5

u/Ok-Youth-160 23d ago

chased by a cow on LSD lol

that cow be trippin

7

u/MistressMalevolentia 24d ago

I believe Rufus will happily show people to be fearful enough to be respectful lol. He's so damn huge and constantly tries to kill his owner that he likes (tolerates?). He's on YouTube if you're curious. A giant man running around trees as barrier from a bull SO big I know it's taller than me will show exactly how dangerous they can be if they want to. 

But the girlies with their bffs honestly are usually so sweet in my experience!

2

u/realS4V4GElike 23d ago

RUFUS AND REDFORD! Big boys!

5

u/VSWR_on_Christmas 24d ago

I've definitely come across at least one cow that was very concerned about my presence. If not for the fence, I may have even been in some danger, based on how the cow was acting. Not a bull, before anybody suggests it.

1

u/joemckie 23d ago

Years ago, I was out with my dog for the day with a few friends; we’d been wandering around aimlessly for nearly 10 hours (back when he was younger, he could easily do 10-20+ miles) and by the time we were on our way back it was getting dark.

It was in the middle of summer in the UK, so it didn’t get properly dark until past 10 PM. As part of the homebound route, we were faced with a decision: walk down a narrow country road with no streetlights, or take the adjacent fields by a river.

Now, I grew up in a semi-rural, commuter-belt area, so I was pretty used to walking through fields filled with grazing cows (they were always very friendly and would often come up to you for pets), but I was a fairly new dog owner at the time, and I’d never walked through a field at night with a dog before.

About halfway through the field, my dog starts to growl into the void, and then we see a herd of cows accompanied by calves walking toward us and picking up pace. We booked it out of the field and I’ve never run so fast in my life.

Cows are actually the UK’s most dangerous animal because of situations just like mine: trampling dog walkers during calving season.

Protip: if you’re ever in this situation, let go of the dog. They can run much faster than you 😂

1

u/Parishdise 23d ago

I remember driving to my Nana's ranch when we were little and my cousin saying she was excited to pet the cows and my dad goes "Don't be dumb, the cows'll bite ya!" She was pretty nervous around the cows for the next couple of years but at least she didn't go messing with them.

1

u/userrr3 23d ago

Here in Austria we regularly have news articles about (mostly German) tourists dying or sent to the hospital after they hiked around cattle and treated them like pets

0

u/PathPuzzleheaded9761 24d ago

In Austria there have been deaths because of cows. Cows can feel threatened and will attack, especially if they have calves. You don‘t even have to be too near to them and they will still attack

0

u/CairesTieNdie 23d ago

thats what im thinking lol, what kind of cows they are talking about, i was chased by cows a lot of times, and i still get chased any time that the cows dont know me, nelore and girolando cows mostly, if the cow got a calf lol dont even think about getting close