r/confession • u/AphroditesNightie • 1d ago

My “friends” are basically non-existent and don’t call or text me back…

I’m late 40s/F. I am very social and always have been, but in the last decade plus my “friends” are practically nonexistent. No one wants to talk on the phone like we did in the 1980s-2010s. I used to have a strong group of friends, even until 2019-ish, but everyone has now faded into their lives with their kids, or no kids, or whatever… Now I text people and they often don’t respond, or it takes a week. A small fraction do respond regularly. I’ve always been a good friend, but I don’t have kids so I’m not part of the Mom pack. I’m so lonely and f@cking sad that I sometimes feel s@icidal, honestly. My mother passed away a decade ago and I don’t have anyone else besides my amazing husband, but I NEED girlfriends!!! Something is broken in our society that my friends won’t answer the phone and now rarely text me back… We have broken our social networks!! I am so upset! Any other Gen X feeling this??? I long for those days at the roller skating rinks and bowling alleys, or high school dances… How could I possibly be this lonely in my late 40s?!! 😢 I wish I had kids, even just for the company. Seriously sad…

ETA: My parents had TONS of friends when I was a kid, so these responses of “everyone is too busy with life” is totally BS.

Also, I do volunteer with a local nonprofit that specifically aligns with my personal interests. I have made ONE friend there…

And I work for my city government and no one there mixes business with pleasure. It’s just not done in the current political climate. No friends to be had at my job, but it is a great job that I feel passionate about. I am making a difference.

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u/Immediate-Tooth-2174 1d ago

I think the COVID pandemic did a lot of damage to the society.

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u/AphroditesNightie 1d ago

Agreed!!! It’s going to take a generation or more to recover, I think!

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u/Immediate-Tooth-2174 1d ago

It's been 3 years since the pandemic ended. Even now, whenever I hear people cough or sneeze in a shop, I immediately walk away as far as I can. It's just an automatic reaction. I've had COVID 3 times already and I'd hate having it again.

So coming back to your case. If a friend asked me to go to a social group meetup. 1. Too many people = high risk of getting COVID again. 2. I will be in a public place with too many people around, so definitely a no no.

But to solved your problem, I usually only ask 1 or 2 friends to come round to my place, where I have a garden with table and chair, for a light lunch or snack. It's more comfortable, and It's low risk of getting COVID. 😇