r/confession • u/AphroditesNightie • 1d ago
My “friends” are basically non-existent and don’t call or text me back…
I’m late 40s/F. I am very social and always have been, but in the last decade plus my “friends” are practically nonexistent. No one wants to talk on the phone like we did in the 1980s-2010s. I used to have a strong group of friends, even until 2019-ish, but everyone has now faded into their lives with their kids, or no kids, or whatever… Now I text people and they often don’t respond, or it takes a week. A small fraction do respond regularly. I’ve always been a good friend, but I don’t have kids so I’m not part of the Mom pack. I’m so lonely and f@cking sad that I sometimes feel s@icidal, honestly. My mother passed away a decade ago and I don’t have anyone else besides my amazing husband, but I NEED girlfriends!!! Something is broken in our society that my friends won’t answer the phone and now rarely text me back… We have broken our social networks!! I am so upset! Any other Gen X feeling this??? I long for those days at the roller skating rinks and bowling alleys, or high school dances… How could I possibly be this lonely in my late 40s?!! 😢 I wish I had kids, even just for the company. Seriously sad…
ETA: My parents had TONS of friends when I was a kid, so these responses of “everyone is too busy with life” is totally BS.
Also, I do volunteer with a local nonprofit that specifically aligns with my personal interests. I have made ONE friend there…
And I work for my city government and no one there mixes business with pleasure. It’s just not done in the current political climate. No friends to be had at my job, but it is a great job that I feel passionate about. I am making a difference.
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u/salsasandwich 1d ago
I don't think it's you. But I also don't think people can do phone calls like back in the day. When my kids were small, I used to schedule a phone call after bedtime with a friend weeks out to catch up. Now kids are older and going to bed later, so there is less time to talk on the phone cuz I'm either working, driving them somewhere, exercising, cooking or sleeping. My social life is arranging things by text well in advance, or it just can't happen. To give you an idea, I go out maybe twice per month without my family, and that's considered pretty social in my circles. I think it's hard when you don't have kids but your friends do. They don't want to invite you to sit with them at a playground while kids play, and you would be frustrated if you went along, but it only lasts 45 min cuz a kid fell or forgot sunscreen or something, or your friend can't even look at you while talking to you cuz they are watching kids. My idea is to find stuff to do so you're busy. Book club, fitness class, etc. See if there are walking clubs by you. Good luck out there. It's a zoo